Deviation: Altera Realm Trilogy Book 2 (43 page)

Noelle took as deep a breath as she could and looked at Gabe. He was tense, his usual relaxed sensibility gone, which is what unnerved her the most. Even in the most dangerous situations, he’d always been able to maintain his calm exterior. She watched as he looked at Adam and Syney sitting across the dining room. He stared at them for only a moment before returning his gaze to his untouched food. Gabe usually ate like a horse; this side of him was scaring her.

“Why don’t you go over there and talk to him?” Noelle said, her voice scratchy.

Gabe looked up at her. “Why? He doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say.”

“He’s hurt. Probably feels rejected. You just have to explain things.”

He shook his head. “He won’t like my explanations.”

Noelle sighed. It had been almost a week since their showdown in the crowning room. She had avoided the topic of Adam, mainly because she didn’t have the energy for that conversation. But she couldn’t let this go on. She hadn’t spoken to Syney the whole time either, letting Syney’s second assistant take up the slack, and that alone made her more upset than she’d been in a long time. “Why did you do it?”

“Because he deserved better than me.”

“But you raised him.”

“Yeah, as a deadbeat guardian. Not the father he needed to impress or overcome. It was better for him this way. That way neither of us could disappoint each other.”

Noelle stared at him for a moment. “He needs to know how much you care about him.”

Gabe briefly looked back at Adam and Syney. “It was selfish.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him.”

Gabe leaned forward. “Do you still want to join?”

She looked back at him, surprised. She wasn’t ready for that. “Of course.”

He nodded and stood. “Then I’m in. I’ll see you later. Get some more sleep.”

“I will,” she said, and watched him walk away. She worried that Gabe’s sudden eagerness to join stemmed from his issues with Adam. Not that it made her any less giddy. She never thought she’d join with anyone. Out in the neutral territories, it was more of a choice, and there weren’t many men she’d choose to be with out there. Once she’d come to the Village, she didn’t think she’d have time to find someone she even liked. The pairing of nonroyals was much less formal. There was one big chapel in the Village for nonroyals to celebrate their monthly services. It was during that service that pairings were announced, but only after a person submitted his or her name for a pairing. Some never submitted their names, choosing instead to remain unjoined their whole lives. The idea had appealed to Noelle, as she didn’t want to reveal her Shifter side. How would she ever explain that to the man she was paired with? But Gabe seemed to be perfect for her, and now she was going to have something, given secretly, that she never thought she could.

Now she just had to figure out how they were going to do this. She’d been feeling sicker every day, so leaving right now didn’t seem like the best thing in the world to do. Unfortunately Adam’s offer of a doctor had gotten forgotten in the mix. She was feeling much worse than any other time she had been sick and now feared the worst. When she was growing up, she had heard of Cranglian flu; it was the most invasive disease in the Realm. It also was the only disease that affected each race differently, although it was well disputed as to what it actually did to each race. The only thing known for sure was that it came on suddenly, with regular flulike symptoms, but grew worse as weeks passed. Most Realm diseases lasted a week at most. Only the Cranglian flu could last longer, which meant if she wanted to be joined with Gabe, she should move fast. You never knew what the future held.

The only way she was going to get this done in the Village was through a priestess who was willing to break some laws. Unfortunately there was only one priestess Noelle knew, and she wasn’t quite sure how Helen would react when she asked her. She either would turn Noelle in the second she was done talking
or flat out say no. There was the possibility she would say yes, but who was she kidding really? She was trying to figure out a good way of asking her when Helen sat down across from her. Ivy, a guard Noelle had met a couple of times, sat down tentatively next to Helen. They were both smiling oddly.

“Noelle, how are you?” Helen asked.

“Good. And you?”

“As well as I can be, I guess.” Helen glanced over at Syney and Adam. “Is there something going on?”

Noelle searched her face for signs of a setup but could only find sincerity. Syney always had trusted Helen as more than a friend, and Noelle needed someone to talk to now. If she was good enough for Syney, why not open up to her? She looked at Ivy. Her she wasn’t ready to trust.

“Ivy’s fine. I promise,” Helen said. She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Leaf and I know something is going on, and we’re worried. We want to help if we can. Syney won’t tell me anything. I think she’s trying to protect me, but I don’t need protecting. What I do need is to help.”

Everything in her voice and face was genuine. But it still wasn’t Noelle’s place to say anything to her. But maybe she could give her a little, if only to get something she wanted. “Adam and Gabe are fighting.”

Helen nodded. “Those two were close?”

Noelle gave a small laugh that dissolved into a cough. “You could say that.”

“Are…are either of them trustworthy? I’m worried about Syney.”

She smiled. “They’re both very trustworthy. Believe me when I say they want the best for Syney and the entire Realm. They just know more than most people do.”

“More than you?”

“I’ve learned from them.”

Ivy leaned toward them. “Is anyone in danger?”

“Possibly. But there’s so much going on,” Noelle said. “It’s all moving parts.”

“How can I…
we
help?” Helen asked, taking Noelle’s hand in hers.

Noelle smiled. “There is something. It doesn’t have to do with Syney, but it would help me.”

“Sure. What is it?”

She took a deep breath. “I was hoping you could perform a joining.”

“If you’re asking, then it either hasn’t been announced or…won’t be,” Helen said.

“More like won’t be.”

“And this is for you?”

Noelle nodded.

“And…”Helen looked around before lowering her voice. “Gabriel?”

She smiled and looked down. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only to someone who sneaks around with someone they shouldn’t as well.”

Noelle looked back up at her. There wasn’t anyone Helen was around a lot, so the idea that she also was with someone she shouldn’t be was a little surprising. She bit back the urge to ask who it was, although she did mention Leaf earlier in the conversation. First things first—if Helen was willing to help her, then questions that put her on the spot should come second. “Will you help?”

Helen looked at her silently for a while before nodding. “I’ll look through my schedule, but I’m pretty sure I can clear the chapel at night if I need to. How soon do you want to do this?”

“Very soon.”

“OK. I’ll be in touch then.” Helen glanced at Syney again. “I found something I think might be of some use to Syney. It’s the journal of the first Crystallianna queen.”

Noelle forced herself to breathe. Maybe Helen knew more than she was letting on. “I think it would be helpful.”

Helen slowly smiled. “I thought so. I’ll give it to her. I’ll be in touch about the joining.” She and Ivy stood and bid Noelle good-bye before heading out of the hall.

More and more people were getting involved, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Gabe certainly thought it wasn’t—but Gabe was always overreacting. Noelle smiled and wanted to run and tell Gabe about the joining, but that definitely wasn’t going to happen—the running part, that is. She slowly stood from the table, almost feeling the energy drain out of her as she made her way across the dining hall. By the time she got to Gabe’s room, she was completely out of breath and a little lightheaded. She really needed to do something about feeling this bad. Maybe Gabe would know what to do. Hopefully.

He couldn’t put the troops off any longer. Fern stared at Hunter from across their tent, her hands on her flat hips, her face clearly showing her disappointment and anger. He had been putting off the mission over the border for weeks with one inane excuse after another. There was no shaking the bad feeling he had about the mission, and pushing it off had seemed to be the only thing he could do—that, and pray someone in the Village would come to their senses and recall them sooner rather than later. Unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen. And now he had to deal with Fern.

“We’ll leave next week,” Hunter said, sitting down on the pile of blankets he called a bed. It was made for one now. Fern had taken to sleeping in one of the women’s tents, which garnered a few comments around the camp. She hadn’t given Hunter any explanation—not that he was really looking for one.

“You can’t go,” Fern said simply, moving only to cross her arms.

“And why exactly is that?”

“Because you’re in charge. The commander can’t lead a mission.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “Normal rules of engagement don’t matter out here.”

“Why? Because you don’t want them to?”

He stared at her for a moment. “Why don’t you want me there?”

“Because you’re weak.”

Hunter bared his teeth at her, tempted to change into his wolf form and see whether she would still have that thought.

“You’re weak,” she said, “because you don’t want to be here. You don’t believe in this mission.”

“I believe in bringing everyone home safely.”

“That’s not the mission.”

Hunter jumped to his feet. “Excuse me?”

Fern let out a breath. “I’m prepared to go on this mission and not come back.”

“And what would the point of that be? You’re going over there to gather information on the Shifters. If you all die, how will you bring that information back here?” Hunter asked, his voice and temper rising.

“That’s not the point of this mission. Only you would think that. We have enough information on them. This is about showing our willingness to fight for what’s ours.”

He shook his head. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am, and everyone knows it’s true, except you.”

Hunter stared at her for a moment before closing the distance between them with only a few steps. “What’s wrong with you? Is it me? Do you hate me or something? Because what you’re saying is crazy. We aren’t violent like that.”

“Maybe it’s time for us to start.”

“My mom wrote to you again,” he said, abruptly changing the subject. “How’s she doing? I wouldn’t know, since she only writes to you.”

Fern’s solid exterior slipped for only a moment. “She’s fine. She’s worried about you, though.”

“What do you two have so much to talk about?”

“She understands what I’m going through and is a good comfort. If you want to order me to stop talking to her, I will.”

“Really?” Hunter asked with a shake of his head. “Where are you, Fern? I’m getting sick of the woman you’ve turned into.”

Finally she looked away. “I am what you made me.” She turned and headed out of the tent, stopping only to turn back and say, “I have nothing to live for, so why not fight like it?” And then she was gone.

Hunter stared after her, thinking back on his actions over the last year. He’d been cold but never downright mean, as far as he could remember. How could Fern blame him for her self-destructive behavior? And why was his mother her confidant? When did his mate start to hate him, and how the hell hadn’t he noticed? The last questions hurt. He was the one who was supposed to care about the people out here. How had he let one of them slip through the cracks?

He sat down on his bed again. He had patrol the whole next day, so if was going to get any sleep, it had to be now. But his mind was reeling, and he doubted he would sleep at all. He thought about apologizing to Fern, but what did he have to apologize for? He was a strong believer in knowing what the crime was before taking credit for it. And Fern was in no position to start talking. To try this from another angle, he thought about sending his mother a letter, but that was even less appealing than talking to Fern.