Destroy (A Standalone Romance Novel) (12 page)

“I have to agree with
you–partly.” He turned his head to me briefly. I knew he liked people to agree
with him all the time. “But, for me, the treat at the end of a hard day is not
sitting at the wheel of an expensive car, it’s walking home quietly and maybe
stopping at my favorite restaurant or bar; have a nice meal prepared by someone
other than myself and relax while reading the paper.”

He smiled as we stopped
at a red light. He slipped his left arm across the back of my seat.

“You know opposites
attract, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. But what
does it have to do with you having a car and me having a meal at my favorite
restaurant?”

“It has everything to do
with it. We are opposites. I love this car; you love good dining. We could have
both. If you would only agree to…”

“…to be more than a
friend, you mean?” I knew the nagging was coming. I also knew that I was the
one who accepted to take a ride with him.

He turned to me again and
withdrew his arm from around my shoulders.

“Sorry. I promised to
take you out this evening ‘as friends’, so I’ll respect the boundaries you’ve
put between us, and take you for that ice cream “as friends”.”

“Thank you. Yet, I don’t
want you to do this just because I put ‘being friends only’ as a condition. I
would very much like you to understand where I’m coming from. I cannot risk my
career, Jeff. I am attracted to you–of course I am–but you and I having more
than a friendship is out of the question. I’ve got to keep my mind on the job.
For me, making a mistake in the operating theater would be disastrous. It’s
different for you. You’ve got years of experience and you can split yourself
and your mind in two, it seems. One of you is all business in the theater, and
the other you is all free and happy.”

“You cannot divorce
yourself from your work, is that what you’re telling me?”

“I know I express myself
badly sometimes, but yes, that’s what I mean. For the moment, every night, I
have to go over my notes. I am still in studying mode. I am still learning. I’m
still deadly afraid of making a mistake. Call it insecure if you like, but
that’s the way it is–for the time being anyway.”

“Been there, done that,
Heather. I know exactly how you feel. And believe it or not, I’m still afraid
of making mistakes. That’s why we’re insured. Even you, as an intern, you are
covered by third-party insurance, much like this car. Because we make mistakes.
But you shouldn’t let fear gear your life.”

“I know, but I can’t
ignore what’s expected of me either, now can I?”

“No one is asking you to
do that. You need to relax, though, otherwise, I can assure you, the mistake
you fear the most will occur – no matter how much studying you do.”

We reached the ice cream
parlor just then. The establishment was designed to draw you back to the 1950s
I was sure. It reminded me of the coffee shop where
The
Fonz
and his buddies used to meet. I
never really watched the show–I wasn’t even born when it was first aired–but I
watched re-runs with my mom when I was a kid. The colorful tables, chairs, the
counter, the neon lights over the blackboard menu and the ice-cream machines
seemed all to have come out of the past.

I was all smiles. I was a
kid again.

“Which flavor would you
like?” Jeff asked me.

I turned to him after
looking at all the buckets lined up under the glass display. “I think chocolate
and strawberry will do just fine. Thanks.”

“Wow, that’s not really
adventurous, is it? How about another two flavors to make things interesting?”

“Okay. Maybe pistachio
and Oreo cookies. Is that adventurous enough for you?”

He laughed. “Yes, I think
for a trial run it will do.” He draped his arm across my shoulder and drew me
close to him. The gesture sent sparks all the way down my spine. His touch was
like someone touching me with a live wire. I still couldn’t believe the effect
he had on me.

When we were served two
enormous bowls of ice cream, we sat at one of the tables by the windows. There
wasn’t much to see outside, but the atmosphere inside the parlor was pleasant
and relaxing. Some of the other patrons put a quarter in the table jukebox and
suddenly we had Elvis Presley playing some of the very, very old favorites.
Stepping into the past like that was most refreshing, I had to admit. It seemed
to draw you out of the day’s routine and drop you into a living dream.

Jeff was sitting beside
me and, of course, one of his hands found its way to my thigh under the table.
I had to giggle. He was stubborn and I knew it. What else should I have
expected from him? Flirting, I supposed, was okay. Friends do flirt with one
another, don’t they?
Yes, make excuses
for him, why don’t you?
I scolded myself while listening to Elvis and
eating my ice cream.

The smile that was
painted on my face ever since we came in the parlor was not to be erased any
time soon. I was enjoying the interlude into the past. As long as it wouldn’t
lead to anything else, I was okay–for now.

We chatted about my two
days under Slosberg tutelage and how fearful I would be
were
I to become a neuro-surgeon. Jeff, for his part, listened attentively to what I
was saying and seemed genuinely interested in my remarks.

“It scares me just to
think of having a knife anywhere close to a brain.”

“There’s that word again:
‘scared’,” Jeff said. “The minute you will take it out of your vocabulary,
along with the word ‘fear’, is the minute you will become the surgeon you
deserve to be.” He took my hand in both of his. “You need to listen to me,
Heather. Surgery is not all about books and studying. If you prefer that sort
of thing, you should go into research, not practice. It took me several months
to get myself in gear. Like you, I was afraid to touch a scalpel. The minute I
would, I feared that my hands would shake and I would throw my entire medicine
career out the window.”

“You surprise me. I
thought you were sure of yourself.”

“Today I am, Heather, but
it wasn’t always that way. Even Slosberg must have had fear on the mind when he
started. We all do. Yet, once you get over the fear of being scared, you’ll be
fine.”

“I am just scared, Jeff.
And I don’t know how I am going to cope.”

“Okay, let say this. We
are friends, yes?” He peered into my eyes, still holding my hand. I nodded
emphatically. “Well then, once we’re working together, one-on-one, I’ll put the
scalpel into your hand and guide it through the first cut. After that, it will
be like riding a bicycle, you’ll never forget it.”

“Okay, you’ve got a
deal.”

As soon as we finished
our ice cream, he took my hand again and led me out of the parlor. We got back
into his car and started toward Capitol Hill. The night was truly warm. I felt
great, truth be told. Jeff had managed to restore some of my self-assurance,
which, I must admit, I had lost since watching all of these intricate
procedures for the past two weeks.

He had his arm across the
back of my seat again. But, this time, I didn’t mind. We had talked and shared
an hour or so, just as old friends would. He was flirting with me, yes, but
somehow it felt different.

As soon as we arrived in
front of the White House, I let a gasp escape from my mouth. I had seen a great
many photographs of the beautiful building, but seeing it in all of its
imposing grandeur was even more impressive than I ever imagined. The lights
that illuminated the dome and the many trees along the parade were mesmerizing.

“Is this what you
expected?” Jeff asked as we parked the car along the avenue bordering and
slicing the lawn leading to the obelisk.

“Much more than anything
I’ve ever imagined, Jeff. Thanks for bringing me here. It’s simply beautiful.”

“I’ve been here many
times, but every time, I find it even more wonderful than the last. It’s not
only impressive but it does say something about the strength of our country,
doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does do that,” I
replied, still looking around me.

And that’s when he took
my chin into his hand, turned my face to him and brushed his lips against mine.
He was asking for a kiss. I didn’t want to give it to him. He was going over
the limit we had agreed upon. This was not friendship; this was sexual, and
highly tempting too.

It didn’t take me but a
few seconds to fall into his spell. I was burning with desire and so was he.
But I couldn’t allow myself to fall into that trap again. I would be a wreck
for accepting his advances. I knew all too well how I would react. I would have
Jeff on the mind day and night. And that was not on!

His hand was traveling
under my skirt now and reaching my panties. His caresses were absolutely
irresistible. I wasn’t stopping him. I loved his touch. His lips against my
skin in the cleavage of my open shirt, going down to my breasts; it was
delightful.
God, I love it. Please, let
me stop him. I’ve got to stop him….

And stop him I did. I
raised his head gently and looked into his eyes.

“Please, Jeff, let’s
leave it for tonight, okay?”

He smiled, straightened
up and returned into his seat. “You know, I want you again, don’t you?”

“I know, and I don’t know
if you noticed but I hardly stopped you, did I? Although this was to be a ‘friendship
only’ night, wasn’t it.”

“Yes on both counts. And
I also noticed that you returned my kiss. I loved it, Heather. Thank you.”

“But now I think it’s
time for us to go home. It’s nearly midnight.”

“You’re right. I’ve got a
six a.m. procedure, too,” he agreed, turning on the ignition.

When we got to my place,
he was surprised that I lived so close to the hospital.

“Why so close?” he asked.

“I told you; I like to
walk home of an evening. Besides, my roommate has a car.”

“You have a roommate?” He
truly looked puzzled then.

“Yeah. Money is tight, so
I need to share the expenses with someone. But she is from here, D.C. I mean,
and she’s an intern too. So, it’s going to work out just fine, I think.”

He fell silent for a
moment and then smiled, as he turned to me. “Okay, my scared puppy, you go home
and get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning, or whenever they agree for us
to be in the same room together. Alright?”

I returned the smile and
relaxed. I was home, and he was going. I gave him a peck on the cheek and said,
“Alright. And please don’t forget to guide my hand with the first cut, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Chapter
13

A couple of days later,
the interns were assigned once again to work with Dr. Jeff Aldridge. I had
mixed feelings about it. I still wasn’t sure that I could resist his charm
during working hours. I certainly didn’t want to become the butt of every
intern’s joke.

Already, Tiffany had
noticed my coming in late the night I went out with Jeff for an ice cream and
began questioning me about it.

“So, how’s it going with
Dr.
Hottie
?” she asked as we were having breakfast.

“It’s not going, Tiff,” I
replied coldly. “We went for an ice cream at this fantastic parlor and then we
went to see the lights at the White House. That’s all.”

“Oh yeah? An ice cream
and a drive around the White House doesn’t take that long.”

“You sound like my father
when I was first dating. Do you mind cutting that out?”

“Alright. I’m not going
to say another word about Dr.
Hottie
, except for ‘be
careful, Hattie’. There’s something about him that doesn’t ring true.”

“I hear you, Tiff. And
that’s the very reason why nothing is going on between us. I am not that blind
actually.”

So, I was very careful. I
would only make sure he kept his promise about holding my hand for that first
cut. However, that morning we were not cutting anyone open. We were going
through pre-operative care with a fine-tooth comb as it were. To some, it might
have sounded boring, but it’s essential for a patient to be prepped and ready
mentally, emotionally, and physically for any surgical procedure. And so it is
for the surgeon performing the operation. In many instances, the patient does
not require to stay in the hospital before surgery, unless, of course, it is a
case of the patient being under care already.
 
Many patients are asked to spend a half a day
at the hospital to receive their instructions as to what they should and should
not do hours before the intervention. They also meet with their surgeon or his
assistant and discuss the various facets of the operation itself.

As for the surgeons, they
need to get and keep their bedside manners in check. These prep sessions give
the patients opportunities to meet the surgeons who are going to take their
lives into their hands. The patient may have met the surgeon prior to that
time, but it’s during that prep session that it all happens–trust I mean. The
patient needs to trust his or her surgeon implicitly. If that spark does not
occur between them, you might as well pack your bag and let someone else do it.
Reluctance is a real killer. It instills fear into the patient’s mind and it
becomes very difficult for the surgeon to destroy that lack of trust.