Desperate Housewives of Olympus (7 page)

“He pulls it off though, doesn’t he?” She sighed again. “You should get out more though.
All
of the gods are warm and golden. Except Hades.”

“You like him?”

“Zeus?” she deflected.

“You know very well who I mean. You shivered when you said his name, more so than remembering your husband’s good qualities.”

“Yeah, you caught me. I like sullen and tortured better than GQ asshole.”

They both laughed.

“With as crappy as Zeus has been to you if even half of those stories are true, you deserve to find some happiness wherever you can. So, if Hades makes you happy, I’m on the wagon.”

Hera regarded her for a moment before she spoke. “It just feels like I can trust you, so I’m going to tell you everything. It’s only fair, anyway. I asked you to do something without giving you all the details and possible repercussions. Kind of like the side effects on those prescription drug commercials. You should know what you’re getting in to.”

“Damn, you make it sound like there’s going to be some kind of treasonous coup.”

“Aren’t all coups treasonous?” Hera asked with a confused look on her face.

“I think so,” Abstinence replied.

“Well, there you have it. Zeus has been an Olympic—pun intended—douchebag for long enough. I made him a king and I’ve decided to unmake him.”

“You’re going to kill him?” she gasped. Abstinence didn’t think she could handle it if that’s what she was implying.

“No, of course not. But send him to rot in Tartarus and crown Hades King of Gods? Yep. That’s on the to do list.”

“What happens if it doesn’t go as planned?”

“You mean if his psychotically paranoid ass catches me plotting his downfall?” Hera said lightly.

“Yeah, that.” Abstinence nodded.

“I don’t know. Hopefully, I can protect myself. If not, maybe Hades will do it for me. We dated before I married Zeus.”

“The two most powerful gods of this pantheon and
you
have self-esteem issues?” Abstinence raised a brow. Then her eyes widened right as a knock came on the door that could only be Zeus. “Shit, you know he doesn’t wait for a body to answer the door like a regular person. Quick, out the back.”

“Wait, are you still in?” Hera asked, wide-eyed.

“Duh. Go on. Back door. Scoot!” She headed for the door, but then turned back to her. “If you still want me to do this?”

“Yes!” Hera hissed and darted toward the kitchen and the back door.

Zeus appeared inside before Abstinence could get to the door. She spared a glance and noticed the back door had swung wide.

“Why do you never answer the door?”

“Why do you never
wait
for me to answer the door?”

“Was someone here?” he asked carefully.

“Is that your business?”

He looked startled for a moment before he laughed. “I am a jealous god. I want your attentions only for me.”

“What if I said the same thing? Hmm? I didn’t ask where you were all day.”

“You’re not my wife.”

“And if your wife asked, would you tell her?” she volleyed.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a god. She should mind her place.”

Abstinence had a hard time not letting her jaw drop at that one. Her place? Dick. “I wonder how you’d feel about it if you asked her where she’d been and she declined to tell you?”

“I don’t care what she does, so I don’t ask.”

“I bet that would change if she were banging the shit out of, say, Poseidon?”

“Have you heard something?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“No, just an example.” Abstinence shrugged as if she couldn’t care less.

He studied her for a moment. “Let’s not talk about my wife.”

“Why not? I met her today.” Abstinence was having more fun with this than she probably should have. It was just that he was so sure of himself, so sure of his place in the universe and really believed he wasn’t governed by the rules that applied to everyone else. So the startled look on his face pleased her immensely. It made her wonder what other things she could say that would shock him.

“You what?”

“She’s hot.” Another blow he wasn’t expecting, by the look on his face.

His eyes glazed over. “Yeah? Because you know we could—,”

Why did this reaction not surprise her? She interrupted him. “Maybe. But I don’t want to, you know, die to do it. So why don’t you work on finding me a loophole?” This flirting thing wasn’t as hard as she’d thought it would be. “But you already said you didn’t want to talk about your wife. So let’s talk about you while we get the DVD fired up.” Abstinence gave him a guileless smile. All males like to talk about themselves, or so her sister had been fond of saying. She was about to put all of that sage advice her sister had handed down to her in those midnight whisper sessions to use.

PERSEPHONE

“You can’t be here,” Persephone squeaked when she saw Eros coming up the stairs to her room. Holy balls, her mother would skin him like a rabbit and wear him like a winter coat. Demeter would have a two-headed epileptic cow if she knew Eros was not only in the house, but on his way up to see her. In her bedroom. She’d die of the horror and then she’d smite everything for miles. It would be nothing short of Chernobyl.

“No, it’s okay. She’s the one who let me in.” Eros took another step to stand on the foyer.

Persephone narrowed her eyes. “Uh-huh. What kind of arrow did you shoot her with to get her to do that?” It would’ve had to have been one that knocked her out for oh, say the next year.

“A really sharp one.” The corner of his mouth curved up in a smirk.

Seriously, there would have to be something wrong with Demeter on a basic level to let a god in the house. “No, really. Is she okay? She must be sick or something.” Persephone stepped around him to go down the stairs, but he grabbed her wrist.

“She’ll be okay, but she actually
is
kind of sick. Demeter is resting in her room.”

“Oh no! Let go of me. I have to go see if she needs me.” She tugged at his grasp and continued down the stairs.

“No, Persephone,” he admonished gently. “You don’t. You need to let her be on her own and you, you’ll come with me.”

“Have you lost your mind? I can’t leave with you.”

“I have her
permission
.” He said the last word as if it was a coveted sweet and it stopped her dead in her tracks.

“You’re kidding?” Persephone’s eyes went wide. She knew she probably looked like a startled anime character, but she couldn’t help it. Demeter had told her shit would stick to the moon like peanut butter before she let some sex fiend god take her anywhere. Not that she thought Eros was a sex fiend. In fact, he’d been nothing but a resident of the friend zone the whole time she’d known him. He seemed to be comfortable there. Demeter had always told her gods would do anything to get into her knickers, even lurk in the friend zone until the time to strike was ripe.

“Nope. I can take you out and about today and I told her about the picnic in Elysium.”

“She must really be feeling horrible.” Persephone wrinkled her nose. “Wait, is she on her death bed or something?”

Eros’ face was unreadable, but he shook his head. “She just knows I’m not going to pounce on you like any other number of gods would. She probably thinks I’m gay.”

“No, you have to be something special. She
knows
Hermes is gay and she still wouldn’t let me go to a movie with him.”

“That was down in the mortal world. Persephone, you’re beautiful. Men are as bad as gods. She didn’t trust Hermes could protect you. It’s the flying shoes.”

“Then why wouldn’t she let me go have lunch at his house?” She practically stomped her foot. Persephone was still angry about that.

“Because he’s shagging Hypnos, who is known to go both ways.”

“I don’t understand why keeping me a virgin was so important anyway. I mean, Spring has to fornicate to give birth to the word, right? What’s so great about being untouched?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she just wanted better for you than what she got from Zeus.”

Persephone grew quiet at that. She knew her mother had suffered because of her father. He was such an asshole. She didn’t know why all of the goddesses let him get away with it. They had all of this power, why didn’t they tighten his leash and jerk it around a few times when he got out of line? So he was King of the Gods. Well, so what?

It was as if Eros could see her thoughts. He held up his hands in a deflective gesture. “Hey, I couldn’t do anything with him. Neither could my mother. So I don’t know what you expect any of the rest of them to do.”

“It’s just… it pisses me off.”

“You look like your mom when you make that face.”

“Shut-up, I do not.” Elysium forbid she ever looked like her mother. Although, she had to admit that Demeter’s green hair was kind of cool.

“You do. But it’s not a bad thing.”

“What was that?” She studied him; apprehension and awareness were twin serpents coiled in her belly.

“What was what?” Eros tried to look innocent.

“That. The face you made talking about my— Oh. My. Gods. You’ve got it for my
mother.
That’s kind of icky.”

“Why is it icky?” Eros asked as if he couldn’t fathom why she’d think it was icky he was crushing on her
mother
.

“Oh, damn. You couldn’t even deny it, could you? Why? I really don’t want those images in my head.”

“Have you ever looked at your mother? She’s a woman. She’s spent her existence caring for you, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a woman’s desires.”

“Yeah, I’m the eternal toddler,” she snorted derisively. “I can hear it now.
Sephone’s mom has got it goin’ on, she’s all that I want…
” Persephone sang to the tune of
Stacy’s Mom
by Fountains of Wayne.

“It’s not that bad, Persephone. Plus, I don’t have to tell you ‘you’re just not the girl for me’.” He laughed. “She needs a little help getting past that and everyone is too afraid of her wrath to do it. But I think this will help.” Eros pressed a cell phone into her hand.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She threw herself against him in a hug. He kissed her chastely on the forehead.

“Hurry up and get changed. We’ll go somewhere private where you can call him, okay?” Persephone got the impression he was herding her like he would a small child, but he’d been too kind and too good a friend for her to let it make her angry. If she didn’t want to be treated like a child, she shouldn’t still be acting like one.

Persephone darted to her room and began flinging clothes everywhere. She didn’t know why she cared about how she looked; it wasn’t like Hades would be able to see her over the phone. Unless Eros had popped for one of those smart vid phones, but it was going to be hard enough to make that call as it was without worrying about her hair, her makeup, or if she looked fat on the screen.

All of that aside, Persephone knew in her heart she’d wounded Hades to the very core. She’d taken his heart, something the Lord of the Underworld wouldn’t have easily surrendered. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but her leaving had cut her too.

Persephone hadn’t understood it at the time when he’d sent her back to Demeter. He hadn’t really explained it to her. He’d hauled her topside and without even a goodbye, he’d left her there. He’d said it was because he loved her and she believed him. Not because her mother would kill the world of man, not because Zeus demanded her return. No, Hades couldn’t have given two shits less about any of that. Tartarus was a self-sustained community. There were enough souls to keep him in business forever and a day, regardless of what happened on Olympus.

He’d done it because he’d thought she was unhappy, that she didn’t want him. But nothing could be further from the truth. Persephone had let her fear of him rule her choices for too long. In all of their time together, he’d frightened her more times than she could count, but he’d never hurt her.

She’d give anything to have his arms around her again, for his harsh whisper in her ear and his hands on her flesh. She dreamt of him touching her, but instead of staying his hand, she surrendered to him. Before she could have any of that, she needed his forgiveness.

While she didn’t want to hurt Demeter, it was the way of all living things to leave their nest and fly free to put down their own roots and grow—to form their own seeds and fling them out into the world. Persephone was ready to take that chance. She could only hope it wasn’t too late to take it with Hades. She’d been a child long enough. Persephone thought of Eros who’d been born a year after she had and he was a god grown. Even though her mother had been protecting her, she couldn’t help but feel Demeter had done her a grave disservice. Not all gods were Zeus.

Persephone hadn’t even considered what she’d do if Hades didn’t forgive her. Truthfully, it didn’t matter. No matter what, she was going to Tartarus. If she had to throw herself on the steps of his castle and wait until he deigned she was worthy of redemption, she would. After all, he’d waited centuries for her. He’d not touched another female so long as she’d been under his roof. Gods, why hadn’t she seen the depth of his devotion? She’d been so utterly stupid to throw it away. Yes, then she’d been the spoiled child everyone thought her to be by playing with her toy until she broken it.

Maybe if she could just tell him she loved him, it would be enough. It was selfish of her to hope for that, she knew. Persephone was aware she deserved every cruelty he could serve her and then some. She’d eat it all with a smile if it would get her back in his arms.

She touched her fingers to her lips, remembering when they’d been swollen with his kisses. They’d been her first and would be her last. Persephone never wanted another kiss on her lips but his.

Eros knocked on her door. “Hurry up.”

“I’m coming!”

“You’re not even breathing heavy.”

“Shut-up, Eros.” Persephone laughed.

“Listen,” he began as she opened the door. “I have to tell you something before you call him.”

Dread slapped her in the face. Had he met someone else? Had he already forgotten her? No, that couldn’t be it. A god didn’t wait centuries for his would-be lover to say yes and then… Or maybe they did. Persephone strengthened her resolve. She had no right to be angry or hurt about anything he’d done to deal with the pain she’d given him. It was remembering that that would be the most difficult part.