Desire (Montana Dreams Book 3) (2 page)

****

A dark forelock waved over his forehead, tipping at chocolate eyes. Muscles like she’d never seen ripped under his shiny covering. How would she break him? Why did she think she could? He wanted no one. Acted like king of the universe. So why? What about him made her determined to have him between her legs? To feel his strength, his broadness, his silkiness?

Cadence Duvall tugged up her jacket collar against the slight Montana wind, stepped onto the bottom rail of the horse arena, and rested her chin on her gloved hands. The round pen behind Divine enclosed a superb specimen of masculinity. He was a whim. Pure and simple. Somewhere in the dark secrets of her mind and body, she believed that if she broke him, it would cure her. No more going to bars, meeting strangers, and staying where ever, not caring about herself. This guy, this magnificent, dark-eyed, dark-bodied beast was her tamer. He had to be. If not she’d… She shook her head as a tear tracked down her face and gazed at the scenery.

The beauty of Trina and Matt’s land awed her. Her best friend was spot on in her description of the mountains being like protectors rising above the meadow. At the base, a stream wound around it like a ribbon tying everything together.

Behind her, the petting zoo fences contained a variety of animals—goats, horses, llamas, and miniature donkeys. Plants and flowers would fill the bare space of the garden nursery once the weather warmed. Until then, the merchandise stayed safe in the greenhouse.

The grace her best friend and her friend’s husband, Matt, bestowed by first building a training ring, and then, erecting a second barn to board horses was so remarkable, so endearing. She accepted she needed help and would try to put her life back on track.
But how?

From the center of the corral, her dark tamer Thor gleamed, challenging her more than any man ever had. In her state of mind, breaking this stallion seemed an impossible task but one she’d conquer for Trina and Matt. Even for Matt’s brother Travis and his girlfriend, Autumn, who by no means should show her mercy. Not after Cadence had plastered her body against Travis and lip-locked him this past summer.

The horse neighed his displeasure as if to say, “No way in hell.”

“I’ll show you. If I can’t, the horse whisperer will! So there!” she scoffed. At one time, breaking a spirited horse came naturally, instinctively. But now that inherent sense of how to proceed vanished. The intuitive stallion knew her mood and didn’t trust her.

Smart horse.

She lifted her head and touched her stomach.
If only
things had been different.
If only
she hadn’t been confused and stupid and didn’t drink.
If only
she hadn’t got into that car… She still couldn’t say or think about what she’d lost by her senseless actions.
If only
had become her saying since the accident, since she allowed what was important in life to scare her.
If only
…

Sucking in a breath, she let the worse tumble over her. Trina wouldn’t have almost died, and Cadence would have—she sucked in another breath at the pain piercing her heart—she would have had another mouth to feed.

Criminey, the memories hurt! Going to Trina’s hadn’t helped ward off the accident nightmares like she hoped. Images of Trina in a hospital bed not moving and the baby she’d never had worried her sick. She tried everything, reading, drinking, until she gave up hope and went to bars to pick up guys. Maybe if she slept with them, the bad thoughts wouldn’t reoccur, but the guys she went home with didn’t interest her. Entire nights filled with her fighting off their octopus hands, at least she kept occupied.

To explain the
whys
of her actions to Trina would mean admitting what she’d done. When her nightmares started, her friend was still in the hospital recovering, and then she moved to Montana to seek out Matt. Cadence didn’t have the heart to put a damper on Trina’s happiness, and now with her having complications with her pregnancy, she couldn’t tell her. Even though she knew her behavior caused Trina grief. Hearing how Cadence tossed Bradley aside, and how negligent she’d been, would cause her more.

Bradley, I miss you
.
Her eyes stung and an ache stabbed her heart. She stiffened her upper lip to refuse the tears. It didn’t work. How could she tell Trina her weakness? She drank to bury emotions, her regrets. Drinking dulled the pain, made life easier than living and remembering her mistakes. Helped with missing the only guy who’d ever got to her.

The air spun, her vision blurred; all the life force escaped her on the tingling sensation beginning at the base of her neck and rushing like a whirlwind to every extremity. Even Thor bucked and bobbed his head, rambunctious as if a tornado approached. One had.

Without looking, she knew who stood behind her. Who witnessed her jean-clad butt sticking up in the air as she held a private pity party, tears and all? She dug deep, plastered on a reserve that said I-don’t-give-a-shit, all while ordering her galloping pulse to settle and kick starting her lungs to draw in air. She swiped a gloved hand over her cheeks and under her nose and readied to face the root of her unrest.
If only he knew
.

With her nerves on edge, she jumped off the last board of the fence to the ground. Her boots sunk slightly into the topsoil, and she faced the person who taught her the true meaning of desire. The virile man she discarded the day she left the hospital.

The familiar form had changed his dress pants for cargos. No longer did he wear a polo shirt, but a flannel. His presence, rather than commanding, held the distinct air of comfort, just as it always had. Heart pounding in her chest, sweat beading on her forehead, every inch of her wanted to run into his strong arms. She needed to feel his strength and have him tell her that everything was okay, like he’d done when they were teens. That when he learned how her behavior stole a piece of her…a piece of him, he would forgive her.

With his thumb and forefinger, he tipped his cowboy hat forward a fraction. “Cadence.”

His smooth voice rumbled over her. It stirred parts that hadn’t been roused in such a long time that she almost didn’t recognize the tug knotting low in her belly. The attraction between them zipped through the air like an electrical charge.
Amazing
.

Hundreds of days had passed since they’d crossed the line of friends and did the unthinkable, a night of hot sex. Her face flamed, remembering the things he did to her and what she’d done to him. She demanded he leave after being a saint, staying by her bedside in the hospital, and only leaving her to visit with his sister. And yet, the invisible charge still threatened to yank her into his arms.

Staying at Trina’s house, she should have figured Bradley might show. Maybe in the silent parts of her consciousness, where her true thoughts and feelings lay hidden, she knew he would visit and that’s why she came. Whatever the reason, she didn’t know how to deal with seeing him. Emotions swarmed her like bees, so she went with wit; a defense mechanism that camouflaged her turmoil. “Wow, it’s Sparky!”

Light brown hair with sun-tipped ends fell around his tanned face. He wore a gloomy smile. His upbringing, like hers, insisted they speak pleasantries. His dull, blue-green eyes revealed he wasn’t thrilled to see her. She didn’t blame him. She didn’t want to see herself either.

“Still sassy as ever.”

No she wasn’t, not even close. “Of course. What brings you to Montana?”

“My sister and brother-in-law, and…” His voice dropped an octave, and he cleared his throat. “To see you.”

He motioned toward her, and the sound of her heart cracking pummeled her ears. “It’s good to see you,” she lied. It was wonderful. Escaping before the buried feelings surfaced and she became a blubbering idiot, she pointed toward the parking lot. “I have a thing.”

“Of course, you do.”

His judgmental tone stopped her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He moved closer—darn him—and didn’t stop until the toe of his boots came close to touching hers. His drinkable lips cocked to the side and his eyes narrowed a fraction, enough so that they twinkled.
Again with the strong attraction!
Did it stir because she’d kept him at a distance for so long? Or guilt from what she took from him? Whatever the reason, it needed to go.

“It means, why run? Why run from me?” His tone dripped with honey, so Bradley, so freaking nice Bradley. The guy who would do anything for anyone. The one who put others before himself. The guy who didn’t argue when she professed she didn’t have feelings for him. That moment in time, tied in an emotional ball, she did what she believed was right. Still believed it. If that was so, then why did she have such strong emotions where it felt like her heart would crack open any second? And why in his presence, did the thread holding her together threaten to break?

She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t be around Bradley, couldn’t peer into those eyes that held passion, understanding, and darn it, for one night, love. And she sure couldn’t do small talk. “Listen…”

He pressed two fingers to her lips. The connection zapped and zinged, igniting every nerve ending. “Don’t. Save the snappy remark you’re ready to bark out.”

As far as she remembered, he’d never ordered her. He went with the flow, listened, and if he didn’t agree with something she did, he let her know, but he never snapped. This change in his personality was her fault. “You grew balls.”

“You have firsthand knowledge about my anatomy,” he said, not missing a beat.

Crap!
Her face flushed. The conversation switched into a direction she didn’t want to explore. “I was drunk and don’t remember.”

The gleam in his eye registered she left herself wide open. Geez, she missed the days when she created a comeback that stopped people in their tracks.

“Want a reminder?” He closed his eyes, locked his jaw, and gave his head a slight shake. The clue that he hadn’t wanted to say what he had. Thank goodness!

“Like I said, I have a thing.”

She sidestepped him and moved toward the house, ignoring the heat of his gaze on her back. Instead, she focused on the cage where Autumn kept her ferret, to seek out Hopper’s slinky body; anything to take her mind off running to him, stepping into his arms, and basking in his strength. 

“We’ll have to figure out how to coexist,” he yelled across the way, not caring that Divine customers watched. She didn’t know what to make of him and paused on the path in between the petting zoo and garden nursery. “I’m here to break your horse, not you.”

She jolted. Erotic thoughts flashed in her mind. She ordered her feet to move, to maintain an even stride to hide the effect his words had on her, and to stop from acting on the tempting picture he painted. But they didn’t budge.

****

If Bradley said he didn’t like hearing Cadence’s sharp gasp, he’d be lying. The quick intake of breath revealed she was as put off at being around him as he was her. And the jolt…
Christ!
Her body—flinching under the cotton t-shirt, peeking between the panels of her jacket, giving him one hell of a show—brought back thoughts better left buried. Damn, this visit would be the death of him.

One call from his kid sister pulled him away from the sandy beaches on the Gulf of Mexico and threw him into hell. There, he had been free of a dark-haired, dreamy-eyed beauty that had haunted his fantasies since his first wet dream.

Just looking into Cadence’s beautiful, shocked eyes, his heart squeezed. It pissed him off; he didn’t want to feel anything. She’d kicked him to the curb after they had the best sex he ever experienced. Basically saying, “Fuck you!” He wanted no part of being here, but damn he loved his sister and her new family. So he ate crow. “You can close your mouth now.”

Cadence’s eyes returned to normal size and she did as he asked, shutting her mouth then biting her bottom lip. Do girls take a class to learn how to drive guys crazy?

“I can handle Thor.”

He searched for something flippant to say, to stop her from looking at him as if she wanted to eat him up. Then, her expression changed to disgust and his ability to come up with a clever retort disappeared. “Take a break.”

Never, never tell Cadence what to do. He learned that in Cadence 101 at six-years-old. She was three, and he was putty in her hands. Still was, because he wanted to do whatever she asked to put a smile on her face.

She blinked, as if what he said took time to penetrate her mind. Her eyes narrowed, her hands went to her hips, and her chest heaved. Not in the heavy-panting-flushed-face-from-great-sex way, as it did the night they were together, but as if she was building steam, getting ready to let him have it. He held his ground, inched closer until the toe of his boots touched hers, and waited for the Cadence blowout.

The fire in her eyes weakened, and her posture slackened. Sadness skittered through her gorgeous features.
Damn
. Why the about-face? She gave nothing away, gave no clue as to why she’d climbed into such a black hole. Other than a hip that might cause her pain occasionally, the doctors had said she was good as new after the accident. So why was she depressed? “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head so fast he swore it vibrated, and while her head adopted a new habit, she took a giant step backwards. “If you think you can train him, go for it.”