Desire: Love and Passion (19 page)

She could hear the heavy sound of the knocker as it echoed through the house. She only had to wait a few seconds before the door opened.

“Claudia?”

The face was exactly as she remembered it, not a day older, not a new wrinkle in place.  The only thing that was different was the hair. The blonde had given way to a bluish white color that hugged the face.

“Nana,” her voice caught in her throat as strong old arms pulled her into a big hug.

Willow clung to the older woman, tears running down her face. There was some noise in background, but Willow did not see anyone. Her eyes were closed as she hugged her grandmother.

Another
pair of arms came around her.
There was a strong masculine scent, a soft kiss on her forehead and she looked up into kind blue eyes.

“Uncle Ken,” she said.

“Claudia.”

Hugs and tears. Willow did not remember much but that.

“Where did she go?” James asked as Simon reported she’d left the property.

“
I followed her to a
house in Oxshott.”

“Whose house
is it
?”

“It belongs to Edna Harper,” Simon said.

She had truly gone home James realized. His pushing her away had pushed her into the arms of her family. Her move told him she was no longer angry, despite the fact that she still did not answer his calls. 

For Willow the rage was indeed gone. For the first time in years she was somewhere where she truly belonged and the world seemed right again. No one pressed her about where she
had
been. No one asked when she t
old them her name had changed.
All of that seemed irrelevant.  Her grandmother insisted she stay and she was happy to oblige. Late in the night when everyone was tucked in
to
bed, she pulled out her mobile phone and listened to his message
s
.

I love you. Please call me
, the last message said.
             

Her anger had burned away when the towing company showed up for the car. Later as she showered again, she found herself laughing at the hilarity of the event. She could see herself banging away at the vehicle. Then she was disappointed at the waste. She could have donated it to charity. Such clarities only came when anger was truly gone.

It was close to midnight. She hit the call back button on her mobile phone. He picked up
after the first ring
.

“I
was hoping
you would call,” he said.

“I wanted to wish you a safe trip
.”

“I did
n’
t mean the things I said.”

“I know.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“No.”

“I suppose I earned that. Is there going to be a point when you forgive me?”

“Yes.”

“Well
,
I guess that
’
s something to look forward to.”

“
Don’t hold your breath
,” she said. “There are some parts that will never be mended.”
             

“Do you still love me?”
h
e asked.

She paused
. She didn’t have to think about.
Of course she still loved him. As cruel as he had been that didn
’
t wipe away how she felt and probably how she would feel about him in the future.

“You can tell Larry the property is for sale, whatever he assumes fair market value is,” she hung up.

Willow did not tell them the story of her
parents
’ death
s
on the first day. There would be time to talk about it later. They did not seem quite anxious to talk about it either. Instead, they wanted to get to know her.

She spent most of the next few days meeting the family and getting to know
them again
. She did not call James again, though she watched his speech to the United Nations on television.

“He’s handsome,” her grandmother
said. They were sitting in the media room
watching the
evening
news.

“Yes, he is.”

“I thought it was a hoax when the same day you showed up I got a call from someone pretending to be James Monroe
. Y
ou have that look on your face every time he is on the news. Your father had that same look after he met your mother. I thought it would go away eventually. I mean
,
a person can only have so much passion
, right? A
t least that was what I thought.”

“We
’
re
not together anymore,” Willow said.

“But you love him.”

“Love is not everything,” she said.

“You
’
re right
of course
, but love and true passion
is
everything. Your parents had that. I swear it was like they were meeting for the first time every day.”

“I was there when they died,” Willow said.

“Oh,” her grandmother said and covered her mouth. “You poor soul.”

“For years I didn
’
t understand the last thing my father said to me.”

She recounted the sad tale for her grandmother. The two women hugged at the end of it.

Willow
spoke to him that night when he called. He wanted to see her when he got back.  She told him no.

Willow had never taken a vacation in the years since opening her business. Nancy was all too happy to let her stay home. They had multiple photographers
,
after all.

On Wednesday morning she woke up to knocking at her door. She glanced at the bedside clock, it was almost noon.

She opened her door expecting to see her grandmother or her uncle, instead it was him.

“What are you doing here?”
s
he demanded in a
harsh
whisper.

“Your grandmother invited me over.”

“I told you I did
not
want to see you,” she said through gritted teeth.

She heard voices downstairs, and her grandmother offering tea. She recognized Simon’s voice.

“Are we going to stand out here and argue or are you going to let me in so we can talk?”

She closed the door behind her, forcing him out in the hallway. She did not trust being
alone
with him. 

“Do you think that is going to stop me from doing this?” He dipped his head as his lips touched hers.

Willow pushed against his chest though she could feel the old familiar heat spread through her body. She wanted him. She gathered all the hate she could muster and pushed him away.

“Go away,” she said.

“This afternoon I am offering my official resignation as envoy,” he said. “Do you want me to mention your name at the press conference?”

“You wouldn’t,” she said.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I mean I am stepping down because my fiancée has just discovered that she was the missing daughter of Doctors Akyini and Jeffrey Harper, has a good
and
true ring to it. We need time to reconcile with her new family and to sort out the det
ails of the past eighteen years
. Then some curious reporter will ask your name and I will say please, please, Willow Barnes and I need our privacy.”

Her eyes narrowed to slits as she gazed at him. She couldn
’
t tell if he was serious.

“I live in the spotlight,” he said. “I have shielded you
from that thus
far. Do you want to see what happens when that shield is gone?”

“How could I have missed this cruel person,” she said.

“Let’s sit down and talk,” he suggested.

She opened the door and let him in.

“You can’t fix this, you know.”

“I know,” he said. “We have to fix it together.”

“I don’t want to fix it,” she said.

“Where do you want me to send your personal effects?”

“Charity,” she said.

“Even your expensive dresses?”
h
e asked.

“I don’t want any reminder you ever existed,” she said.

“That’s kind of hard when you
’
re carrying my baby.”

Willow took a step back. She had not been feeling herself lately and she had gone to her doctor just days before the fight. She had not even gotten the results back as yet.

“You don’t know that,” she said.

“I knew that when you stopped drinking coffee and at the party you had only sparkling water. But you
’
re right. We don’t have to fix this. But it would be better if
we did if
we
’
re going to have a child together.”

“There are ways to fix that,” she said but regretted it the moment it left her lips. 

She was mad at him, but she did not intend to be so cruel. A family was the one thing he wanted more than anythin
g else. H
e told her that in Ireland when they had sn
uck
away from his bodyguards. They had spent the night just talking and he confessed that more than anything he wanted children. He wanted to stop being Mr. Fix it for everyone else’s problem; he just wanted to focus on having a family of his own. Willow suspected that was the reason he was resigning his diplomatic position. His sudden talk of resigning came just days before she
’
d gone to the doctor to confirm what her body already knew.

“I’m sorry,” she said almost immediately. “I didn
’
t mean that.”

“I’ll have my lawyers draw up some sort of agreement,” he said.

“I did not mean that, James. I would not hurt our baby because I
’
m mad at you.”

“I thought when you said you loved me everything would be okay. When I found out you might be pregnant I was so happy. I wanted to ask you to marry me. Hell, I went out and got a ring. I was so close to having it all,” he said. “So fucking close!”

He took a small black box from his pocket and threw it on the bed.

“My lawyers will call you,” he said before walking out the door.

Willow stood there for a long time unable to move. She heard the front door close and he was gone. She picked up the box from the bed. It was an engagement ring. It was stunning. She clutched it to her breasts and cried.

Chapter 13

             
His lawyers had indeed called her within a day of his visit. By then, Willow was back at her house, deciding what to do. Larry had not called with an offer on the property and she was not at all certain she
still
wanted to put it on the market. For one thing, if she was going to have his child, the close proximity might help
facilitate things better
.

             
She
reviewed the legal documents with an attorney. Her attorney assured her the deal was not a bad one
.
James insisted
on such things as obstetric visits, shopping, nursery choices and Lamaze classes
.  He
hadn’t given her an unfair deal. Nancy, while elated she was finally going to be a godmother
,
wanted Willow to reconcile with James.

             
Their first doctor’s visit together was three weeks after their argument. Willow had estimated that she was only a week or two pregnant when they had the fight, so now would be the right time to find out if they had a viable fetus. James scheduled them to meet with the same obstetrician that his cousin used. It was part of their signed agreement so she did not protest, even when he showed up to pick her up outside her office.

             
“You don’t have to pick me up,” she said. “I have a car and I know the address.”

             
“It’s in our agreement,” he grunted.

             
“Ah, the agreement,” she said sarcastically.
“What a fun way to have a baby!”

             
“You left me no choice.”

             
“Do you think a lawyer could force me to carry this child if I didn’t want to? If I wanted to, I could disappear forever. I
’
ve done it before.”

             
“I think I have a right to be part of this process, and I want to be a part of the process.”