Desire and Deception (74 page)

"Is that all you intend to say?"

Jason looked up to find Lauren watching him intently. Instantly his grim expression vanished and a teasing smile curved his lips.
"For now, Cat-eyes.
Someday I'll tell you what happened, provided you give me no more trouble for the next fifty years."

Lauren realized she was being fobbed off, but decided to let the subject drop. "I knew you would find some means of getting your way!" she remarked, matching his light tone. "Very well, then, I have a bargain for you. I get to hear the entire story when I present you with your first son."

"Make it my first grandson and you have a deal."

Smiling provocatively, Lauren rose and walked around to Jason's side of the table. "That will take too long."

"Not if we work at it," Jason pointed out as he drew Lauren down onto his lap and kissed her. "But this isn't the place," he added huskily when he raised his head. "I don't intend for the servants to walk in and find me fondling my wife."

Lauren sighed. "It was much easier being poor without a great name to uphold."

"Certainly more private," he agreed. "Don't be disappointed, sweetheart. I fully intend to take you upstairs and ravish your body again, but we have a few things to discuss first."

She raised a delicate eyebrow.
"Such as?"

"Such as George Burroughs."
When Jason felt Lauren's body stiffen, he tightened his hold around her waist and went on doggedly. "Before he died, Burroughs made two last requests of me. One was that he be buried next to his sister Mary. The other was that I explain to you his reasons for using you as he did. He greatly regretted his actions toward you, Lauren. He wanted your forgiveness."

Lauren searched Jason's face, noting how serious his expression had become. When he seemed to be waiting for her permission to speak, she nodded solemnly, knowing that the past had to be dealt with before they could look to the future.

"It began with your parents' marriage," Jason said quietly. "Jonathan Carlin was visiting friends in Lancashire when he met your mother and married her. It wasn't common knowledge, though, since he returned to London without her. Shortly afterward, Jonathan . . . seduced Burroughs's sister Mary.

"Burroughs was livid when Mary came to him in tears, claiming she was pregnant. He wanted to call Jonathan out, but Mary declared she loved him and wanted him for her husband, so Burroughs gave in. He was a major partner in the Carlin Line by then, and he threatened to withdraw his entire investment unless Jonathan married his sister. As a result a ceremony was held. The marriage was meaningless, though, since Jonathan already had a wife."

Lauren gave Jason a puzzled frown. "But why didn't he simply admit it?"

"Because, my love, an unlawful marriage to Mary gave him the perfect leverage.
Burroughs couldn't pull his capital out of the company, not as long as Jonathan held the threat of scandal over Mary's head. Bigamy is illegal, but Mary would have suffered far more than Jonathan if the truth had come out."

"So that's why he destroyed the proof of his first marriage?"

"Not destroyed, confiscated. He had the page of the church registry removed in case Elizabeth decided to go to the courts. The record is back where it belongs, incidentally. Jonathan had kept it hidden along with a will naming you his sole heir. . . . But I'm deviating from the story. Elizabeth was growing desperate since Jonathan hadn't returned any of her letters, so after your birth, she came to London to see him. She was refused admittance to his house, but she managed to find out about Mary and Andrea. Elizabeth went to the Carlin offices then, and confronted Jonathan in a big scene. He lied to her, of course, told her their marriage had been a sham. And Burroughs didn't contradict him."

"Burroughs knew the truth, though, didn't
he
?"

Jason nodded. "But his overwhelming concern was to protect Mary. She was his only sister and he felt responsible for her, especially since her had insisted on the marriage in the first place. He was determined that Mary should never find out that her marriage was illegal. As far as I can tell, she never did. At any rate, Burroughs never saw Elizabeth again. Jonathan went to see her some years later, after she had written him asking for money, but when he returned, he told Burroughs he had settled the matter."

Lauren looked away, fixing her gaze on a point beyond Jason's shoulder. "All that time . . . my parents really were
married," she murmured.

Gently, Jason took her face in his hands. "That's right, sweetheart. You were Lauren Carlin before you became Lauren Stuart. You never were illegitimate."

"But
why?
Why didn't he tell me?"

"Burroughs, you mean? Because he didn't want any shame attached to his sister's name, even after her death."

"But what about my mother?
What about her shame? Her family disowned her because of the disgrace!"

Jason's gaze was sympathetic. "I'm not condoning what Burroughs did. I'm just telling you his reasons for keeping silent. Later, he had Andrea to consider. She became his responsibility when Mary and Jonathan were murdered, and he, felt it his duty to protect her inheritance. After Andrea died, he decided that you should have the Carlin fortune."

"Not because it was rightfully mine, but because he wanted to keep it from Regina!"

Jason reached up to stroke Lauren's hair.
"For both reasons.
By then he suspected Regina of being an accomplice in the
Carlins
' deaths, and was determined that she shouldn't benefit from her crimes. He also wanted to protect you from Regina, which is why he arranged your marriage to me. He meant to explain it all to you when we were safely wed."

Lauren's eyes clouded with pain. "But I would have understood. I would have helped him thwart Regina, had he told me the truth. Instead he threatened to lock me in the cellars to ensure I would do his bidding. And he called me 'Jonathan's bastard'."

"I expect he was still grieving, my love. You were a living reminder of Jonathan's duplicity, and he probably blamed you—wrongly—for even existing. Besides, he didn't know what a loyal friend and ally you could be."

Lauren shook her head slowly. "It isn't just what he did to me, Jason, but what he did to my mother. He let her suffer needlessly. We couldn't even afford to buy laudanum so she could sleep with the pain. I don't know if I can forgive him for that."

Pulling Lauren more closely against him, Jason rested his cheek against her hair. "Well, he did do one thing for which I'll always be grateful. He arranged our marriage. If not for him, I might never have obtained the Carlin Line."

Lauren heard the teasing note in his voice and knew Jason was trying to ease her distress. She sighed, realizing it was foolish to let the past upset her. She had Jason now and that was all that mattered. Drawing back to gaze at him, she let her eyes roam lovingly over the noble features of his face. "Well," Lauren replied, making an effort to smile, "I suppose we made a fair exchange. I ended up with a title."

Jason returned her gaze as he took a strand of her hair and drew it softly over his lips. "I hope, Cat-
eyes, that
you finally believe that I love you for yourself and not for whatever wealth you have."

"I do, Jason. And I hope you realize how much I regret not having more faith in you. I had a great deal of time to think about it while you were
gone,
I came to realize why I was so afraid to trust you. I was afraid to expose myself to the kind of hurt and pain my mother knew. But I should have told you the truth."

"Well," he murmured, "we've had too many secrets between us, but that's behind us now. You do, however, have a decision to make concerning what to say about your own past. You could tell the truth, or you could let the world assume your mother passed away before Jonathan remarried."

"You mean not reveal that his marriage to Mary Burroughs was illegal?"

"Yes. You could simply let people think that Mary was your father's second wife and Andrea his legitimate daughter. It isn't a question of inheritance any longer. The Carlin Line is yours by right, since Jonathan's will is valid and Burroughs left you his half. And you would be sparing Mary and Andrea memories. They really were blameless in this whole affair."

Lauren nodded slowly. "I suppose it doesn't make any difference now. But what if someone finds out about my mother?"

"Then we don't deny it. I doubt if anyone will, though. Regina was the only one who could dispute the story, and she's gone."

Remembering her murderous aunt, Lauren shuddered. "I can't believe it's all over."

"It's just beginning, Cat-eyes," Jason whispered huskily in her ear. "I expect it might be wise, though, for us to hold another wedding ceremony here in England. I don't want you or anyone else having any doubts that we're irrevocably married."

Lauren sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I suppose we have Burroughs to thank for that," she admitted grudgingly.

Smiling, Jason shook his head. "Burroughs might have arranged our original contact, but he had nothing to do with our marriage. That was all my own doing. I got you drunk, remember?"

"I remember that you tricked me—"

"You deserved it."

"I did not!" Lauren protested.

"You did. And I considered it adequate payment for the time you drugged my wine and took my hundred guineas."

"A sum I thought I had earned."

With a finger, Jason tilted her chin up. His blue eyes were alive with warmth and love as he bent to kiss her. "Would you agree to call the score even, sweetheart?" he murmured against her lips.

"I might," Lauren said thoughtfully. She let Jason kiss her again,
then
added huskily, "I'll give you my answer when we have our first grandson."

"Wake up, sweetheart," Jason urged several hours later. "Lauren, wake up!"

Abruptly Lauren opened her eyes to find Jason shaking her. Above the fading echoes of a scream, she heard his soothing voice directing her to breathe deeply. She reached for him and clung, chilled and shaking.

Eventually the strong beat of his heart beneath her chest reassured her, as did the soft glow from the lamp he lit. Yet an elusive phantom was tormenting her memory. Confused, Lauren held a hand to her throbbing brow.

"You were dreaming again," Jason said as he briskly rubbed her ice-cold skin. "I thought you said you were over your nightmares."

There was no explosion, no blinding light. The return of her memory was accompanied by nothing more than a soft whirring in her ears. "It really happened," Lauren said in a strangled voice.

Jason pressed his lips to her hair, gently brushing a tangled strand of hair from her face. "What really happened, my love?"

"My dream."
Lauren sat up, pulling the covers up to her chin, as if they might offer protection. "I remembered what happened . . . and it wasn't a dream. It was my father, all along."

Jason grasped her chin with his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. When Lauren saw his blue eyes regarding her with tender concern, she realized that she was making little sense and began again. "I dreamed the same nightmare as always, but this time it had a conclusion. And I know what, or rather who, I was running from. It was my father."

Jason gathered her in his arms once more, cradling her protectively against his chest. "Tell me about it, sweetheart," he said gently, holding her close.

Gratefully, Lauren rested her head on his comforting shoulder. "I was in bed, asleep, and when I woke up, I heard shouting. I remember now walking through this dark little room. It must have been a dressing closet of some kind, for it led to my mother's bedchamber. I opened the door—" Lauren shivered, then after a moment, continued in a shaking voice.