Desire and Deception (46 page)

"Probably because I love you."
When Lauren gave a start, a slight smile played at the corners of Jason's mouth. "I've loved you ever since I first saw you," he said softly. "Why else do you suppose I proposed to you then?" Lauren remained staring at him speechlessly. "What?" he teased. "Are you still here? I had assumed that confession would send you scrambling for cover."

Lauren heartily wished she hadn't allowed him to open the subject again. "You won't release my hand," she said rather lamely.

"Answer my question first." Bringing her fingers to his lips, he kissed the tip of each one, sending warm sparks shooting up Lauren's arm.

"What question?" she murmured vaguely.

"Tell me what you're afraid of." He noted the haunted look in her amber-flecked eyes, but he held her gaze as he continued to press. "You don't fear me," Jason said gently. "You never have. So why do you panic every time I suggest marriage?"

Lauren knew she had to give him some kind of answer.
"I . . .
I
don't want to give any man that kind of control over me.

Jason shook his head. "That isn't your reason. You don't truly believe I would abuse the privilege of caring for you."

"No, but . . . but you want to live in England and I don't.
My life is here."

"I can't accept that, either, Lauren." Slowly he reached up to touch her lips, gently tracing them with a lean forefinger. His eyes searched her face as his voice dropped to a mere whisper. "What I would give to penetrate those defenses you show the world. . . ."

Lauren hesitated, her mouth working silently as Jason's long fingers stroked her cheek. She didn't want him to love her. Nothing could come of it. Her origins, if nothing else, prevented her from marrying him.

When she didn't speak, Jason gave a sigh. "Well, I've waited nearly four years for you. I suppose I can wait a while longer."

"No, you mustn't!"

She tried to pull away, but her protest was cut off as Jason drew her into his arms. "Hush, my love," he murmured, stroking her hair. "I didn't mean to distress you."

Resting her cheek on Jason's bare chest, Lauren closed her eyes. She felt a painful tightness in her throat, a throbbing ache deep in her chest, as she regretted more than ever the past which hung like a millstone around her neck. But though she very much felt like crying, her eyes were dry.

She couldn't have said how much time passed before the candle flame sputtered out, leaving the room in semidarkness, but that was when she first realized that Jason's arms were no longer a place of solace. He remained quite still, yet she suddenly became conscious of the musky-clean scent of his skin and the intimate way her breasts were pressed against his sinewy chest. Something strong and vital was flowing between them, something almost tangible. She could actually feel her senses coming alive as longing stirred within her.

She wanted Jason to hold her more tightly, but she was afraid to move. She was well aware that he would send her away if he knew what she was thinking.

But he knew, she realized a moment later. His hand swept slowly down her back, moving possessively over her hip and thigh, then up again. All her nerve endings started to flicker.

After a moment, she felt Jason grasp her shoulders. When he held her away from him, Lauren looked down into azure eyes that glittered with molten desire. "Lauren," he murmured hoarsely. One of his hands twisted in the silken curtain of her hair while the other reached for the buttons of her nightdress.

"Jason . . .
please
," Lauren whispered, not knowing herself whether she was pleading for him to stop or continue. She was afraid, either way.
Afraid that he might again seek relief with another woman if she refused him.
Afraid she would surrender totally to him if she consented.

And so she did nothing—neither encouraged nor denied. She only held her breath while her heart hammered against her rib cage.

Slowly, as if he couldn't help himself, Jason released the buttons and inched her nightdress down over her shoulders, baring her breasts to his gaze. Drawing her closer then, he let his mouth close hotly over a taut nipple. Lauren nearly jumped as a shock wave of pure pleasure jolted through her. She let her head fall back, feeling desire curl and twist in her loins.

Jason's tongue swirled over the sensitive peak till it was rigid and aching from his
attentions,
then moved to the other ample mound of sweet flesh, sucking and licking and nipping gently, grazing softly with his teeth. Lauren's breath came in muted gasps.

In the end, though, it was Jason himself who banked the fires he had started. He pulled away, his rasping breath loud in the dark. "Not like this, Lauren," he said hoarsely. "Not like this. When I make love to you, I want your total commitment."

She was relieved, and yet . . .

He rearranged the bodice of her nightdress, fastening the buttons with unsteady fingers. "Go back to your room, sweetheart," he ordered in a ragged voice, "before we both lose control."

Lauren honestly tried to obey, but Jason's caresses had left her dizzy and weak. Her knees felt like warm honey. When she tried to rise, they wouldn't support her. She sank back down, unintentionally swaying toward him.

Jason was hardly in a mood to be patient. Aching with unfulfilled need, he had nearly reached the limits of his fortitude. "Lauren!" he growled. Gripping her shoulders, he almost shook her. "Lauren, get the hell out of here before I turn you over my knee!" Whipping his head around, he searched the shadows of the room. "Christ, where is that damned cat!"

His eruption, as sudden as a Louisiana tempest, startled Lauren. She stared at him with apprehension, before realizing the cause of his anger.

She did something totally out of character then;
she giggled
.
Actually it came out more as a husky chortle, and she immediately clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. But it was laughter, all the same. She couldn't help it. Jason's fury, following so closely on the heels of passion, struck her as being ludicrously funny.

At the soft sound of her choked laughter, Jason turned the full force of his glare on her. "What the blazes has gotten you in such high spirits?" he snapped.

Giving her laughter free rein, Lauren wagged a finger under his nose. "Those are hardly the words of an ardent lover," she admonished, heady with the knowledge that she had finally shaken his iron composure. "If you want me to become enamored of you, you should be plying me with flattery and kisses. You should be trying to sweep me off my feet, rather than ignoring me and insulting me and threatening me. You're hardly likely to win your suit by such methods."

He drew a long, determined breath. When his temper was once more in check, Jason eyed her suspiciously. Then after a moment, he relaxed against the pillows. "It seems that I'm unlikely to win my suit by
any
method," he said dryly. "But I think I'll stick to the current battle plan, thank you. It hasn't yet proven a total failure. Do you mean to walk or must I carry you?"

Lauren ignored his question. "So you admit it! You
do
have a plan. Is Desiree a particular stratagem then?" she asked in a deceptively silken tone.

It was Jason's turn to smile. He flashed
her a
grin that dazzled, even in the semidarkness. "What's this?
Jealousy, my sweet Lauren?"

Lauren pressed her lips together. "I am merely curious to know what you find so interesting in that . . . that she-cat."

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Of course it's obvious! I just wondered, why
her?"

Jason's eyes glimmered with amusement. "Desiree's charms are nothing compared to yours, if that's what you're asking. Of course, she generally treats a man with more warmth than you do. . . ."

His baiting words struck a highly sensitive nerve. Lauren leapt to her feet and stood over him, clenching her fists. "You . . . you . . . cad," she sputtered. "Let me tell you something, Jason Stuart. If you
ever
dare compare me to her again, I'll . . . I'll . . ."

"Yes?" Jason drawled provokingly. He rose, also, but in a more leisurely fashion. Slowly, like a giant cat, he began to stalk her.

Lauren took an automatic step backward. "I'll kick you,
that's
what.
Where it hurts!"
Obviously Jason wasn't worried by her threat, for he kept coming. Nervous, she retreated. "And what's more," Lauren added defiantly, "if you don't stay away from Desiree, I'll go back to the casino again.
Every night!"

Jason appeared unconcerned as he followed her all the way across the room and onto the gallery. When the small of her back hit the railing, Lauren held up her hands defensively. "And I won't just play the piano," she warned. "I'll dance on it!"

Jason laughed as he reached down and swung her into his arms. "And you accused me of extortion! Very well, I agree."

Lauren started to struggle, but when she realized what he had said, she ceased fighting and peered up into his laughing blue eyes. "You do?" she asked skeptically.

Carrying her easily, Jason strode along the gallery toward her room. "I do. I'll never go near Desiree again if you promise not to dance on the piano. You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart."

Lauren cleared her throat, wondering if she had somehow trapped herself with her own words. "It's for your own sake. Desiree isn't good enough for you. Even Veronique says so."

Jason made a wry face. "And I was hoping you were jealous."

"Well . . ." She dropped her eyes. "Perhaps I
was . . . a
bit."

His voice softened. "You shouldn't be, Lauren. I never touched Desiree." When Lauren's gaze lifted, holding disbelief, Jason smiled down at her. "Besides," he pointed out, "it's
you
I want to marry."

Lauren pursed her lips thoughtfully, knowing Jason wouldn't be so anxious to marry her if he knew about her birth. "Kyle says now that you are Lord
Effing
, you have to find a wife."

"Umm hmm," Jason agreed.
"The responsibility that comes with the title.
Do you have any suggestions? That wasn't a proposal, by the way. I'm sticking to our bargain."

She tilted her head to one side, considering him. "If I refused to provide you with heirs, would you change your mind about wanting to marry me?"

"No, Cat-eyes. I won't ever change my mind."

Entering her room, Jason gently deposited Lauren on her own bed. As he bent over her to tuck a light quilt under her chin, his gaze searched her face. "Don't you want children?" he asked seriously.

"I
. . .
I don't know. I hadn't thought much about it."

Jason planted a light kiss on her lips. "Let me know if you do. I'll be happy to oblige. Would you like me to stay till you fall asleep?" When she shook her head, Jason gave her a tender smile and then melded into the night shadows.

His loving look kept Lauren warm long after he had gone. And as she lay there in the dim light, staring at the canopy above her bed, Lauren found herself wondering what it would be like to have a child to hold in her arms. Not just any child, but a little boy with laughing blue eyes. One she could hold and cherish and love. . . .