Designed for Love (18 page)

I needed commitment. Faithfulness, monogamy.
I didn't necessarily need marriage. Although, now that I thought about it, I
wouldn't mind with him.

Good lord, I'd only known him a few days
and already I considered marriage. I shuddered to think about it. What had
gotten into me?

I switched on the water and pulled the
shower curtain. Memory of Bill's shower came to mind. Blissful memory of the
water running down my back while Bill took me. The feel of his soapy hands.

God, I had to stop thinking about him. It
wouldn't serve any useful purpose. What I really needed was to get my logical
mind working again. Put all thoughts of Bill behind me. I made a mistake, learn
from it and get on with life. That's what I needed to do.

That was going to be easier said than
done. I'd never experienced this kind of pain before. This kind of hurt. I'd
never allowed myself to fall in love before. Not that I allowed it this time.
It just happened. I didn't have any control over it.

 
I
snapped off the water and stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel.
Again, memory of Bill drying me off came to mind. God, what was it going to
take to forget? How could I put each gentle stroke out of my memory?

I loved his gentleness, his playfulness.
I loved everything about him.

I threw the towel over the towel rack and
left the bathroom. Too many memories in such a short time.

Poor Alex. What must she be going
through? How many years had they actually been together? Five at least. Maybe
more. I could hardly remember Alex without Scott. Talk about memories. Time I
stopped feeling sorry for myself and started sympathizing with my friend.

I finished dressing and went downstairs
to make breakfast. With the coffee maker on, I took out the makings for
pancakes, and opened the freezer. Strawberries or blueberries? Touch decision.
The sound of my laugh startled me. Good lord, now I was laughing out loud.
Okay, strawberries won.

I mixed up the batter for the pancakes
and set the griddle on the stove to heat. Time to wake up sleeping beauty. Poor
Alex, but at least we laughed last night. Silly girl couldn't hold her liquor.
Not that I could. Both of our heads were reeling by time we went to bed. Didn't
take but one cup of coffee for each of us. Strong stuff. We hadn't giggled like
that since high school.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, time to get
up." I touched Alex's arm.

"Huh? Oh, God, is it morning
already?"

"I'm afraid so. Come on, breakfast
is about ready. You have time for a quick shower. I laid some of my clothes out
for you until we get to your place."

Alex slid the covers back and stood up.
"Thanks."

"Towels and wash cloths are on the
vanity. Don't dilly-dally."

"Okay, okay. Gees, you sound worse
than my mother."

I smacked Alex's butt and went
downstairs, laughing. I didn't know how long the good mood would last, but for
now Alex seemed to be handling things pretty well. As for me, well, I'd muddle
through somehow. What choice did I have?

No excuse on earth would allow me to
trust Bill. Not that he gave me any reason to trust him to begin with. I knew
better than to give in to a man before I even knew him. I knew all about
physical attraction. Sure, Bill and I seemed to have a lot in common, but I
really didn't know him.

And it wasn't like he lied to me.
Unbearable, that's what he said. He couldn't find a woman who'd put up with
him. Of course he couldn't. Now I knew why. No self-respecting woman would put
up with a man who wouldn't remain faithful. Some men needed variety. Obviously
Bill was one of them.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Alex eased the car onto the highway.
"So you really slept with Bill. I can't believe it. I swore you'd end up
an old maid. Wait until Jenn and Julie hear this."

"Okay, do we have to continue this
discussion? And Jenn and Julie don't need to hear anything about it."

"Sure they do." Alex laughed.
"We're best friends. We tell each other everything, remember?"

I groaned. Maybe they told each other
everything, but I'd never had anything to tell before. While my college friends
dated and slept with guys freely, I hardly even dated.

Sometimes I wondered how the four of us
hooked up. Different as night and day. The three of them had enough in common,
just not me. I was the serious one of the group. Concentrating on my studies,
planning my career. How many times had they tried to get me to loosen up?
Still, we enjoyed each other's company. How often had one of them come to me in
a bind with classes? I spent many an evening cramming with them before a big
test.

Somehow, we all got through it. We all
had good jobs and oddly enough, none of us got married. At least not yet. Jenn
was engaged but the rest of us remained single. Alex was probably the closest
thing to settling down while she lived with Scott.

"Hey, you listening to me or are you
off in la la land somewhere?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Guess I was off.
Just thinking about my job." I lied. Anything to get her off the topic of
Bill. "Did I tell you someone broke into Gladys's house and stole all the
plumbing?"

"You're kidding, right"

"Nope. Not a bit. The carpeting is
soaked. Not that it matters, we're tearing it out anyway. But still. The floors
in the bedrooms are all stained. I'm hoping we can salvage them. Even the walls
have water stains on them from where the water ran down."

"Sounds like a real mess."

"It is. Thank God, we hadn't started
the renovation."

* * *

Alex turned off the highway and pointed
to a sheet of paper. "Tell me which way I turn up here."

"Left and at the next traffic light
turn right. Go about two miles until you come to the BP station and hang a
left."

"I've only been here once, and I
couldn't remember." Alex maneuvered her car through traffic. "I do
remember these hills though."

"Pretty city."

"Yeah, it is."

"Jenn is taking us to see her new
house. She and Gary are hoping it's done by May."

"Must be nice. So what's Julie going
to do? Is she going to keep the apartment on her own?"

"Yeah. Jenn hasn't been living there
all that much anyway. Ever since Gary
got his own place, she's been living with him."

"So Julie's going to stay there.
That's good."

"Oh, wait until you hear about her
latest guy. He sounds like a real hunk."

"Don't they all?" I laughed.
That was the one thing about Julie that bothered me. She flitted from guy to
guy and swore eternal love with all of them.

"She claims this time it's the real
thing."

"Yeah, right."

"True, but she's been going with him
the longest, so who knows. And she didn't sleep with him right away. Says he's
her best friend. After us, that is."

"Let's hope so. Turn here." Who
knew maybe my friends were finally settling down. All except poor Alex that is.
Strange she hadn't mentioned Scott in hours. Maybe she wouldn't miss him as
much as she thought. Might be she wasn't really in love with him. More a habit
than anything. Sure she was hurt. Who wouldn't be? But something about the way
she was acting. I had a feeling she wasn't as broken hearted as she thought.

"Here it is." Alex turned into
the drive behind a brand new Lincoln.
"Wonder who belongs to that."

"Maybe it's Gary's." I unbuckled my seat belt and
pushed open the car door with my foot. I hated parking on hills. If the door
wasn't locked in the open position it fell back against you.

"Don't know, but we'll find
out." Alex rang the bell and shuffled her feet. "Damn, it's cold out
here."

"Hey, you two." Jenn opened the
door. "How are you?"

I followed Alex inside and hugged Jenn.
Before I even had a chance to take off my jacket my cell phone rang. I glanced
at the number and ignored it. I should have known Bill would call. For two
cents I'd turn it off. But I hated to do that in case there was an emergency. I
caught the looks from my friends and ignored them too. If I chose not to answer
my phone, what business was it of theirs?

"So, where's Julie?" Change the
subject, get them focused on something besides me. I noticed the look Alex shot
Jenn. The way she rolled her eyes and indicated, 'I'll tell you later.' Oh,
yeah, I knew the look. I'd been recipient of it many times myself. Hell, I'd
even given it a time or two. "I hear she's got someone new on the
line."

"I do." Julie appeared behind
Jenn. "Come on in, and I'll tell you all about him. In fact I'll go one
step further and you can meet him yourself."

"Ah, that explains the new Lincoln." Hmm, I
thought, looks like this one might be well off. Good for Julie. I hope this guy
was the one.

"You'll have to wait a bit though.
He's in the shower."

My cell phone rang again. I knew it was
Bill without even looking, but looked anyway. Yep. I ignored it.

"Aren't you going to answer
that?" Julie asked.

"No, it's not important." I
walked past her into the living room.

"How do you know it's not important
if you don't answer it?"

Julie just wasn't going to leave well
enough alone. Of course not, she never did.

"So, tell us about your new guy.
What's his name?" I had to get the focus back on her, and maybe she'd
forget.

"His name is Mike. Why aren't you
answering your phone?"

"She's not answering her
phone," Alex said, "because it's some guy she slept with, and he
already has a girlfriend."

I threw daggers at my friend. Talk about
a crude way of putting things.

"Shut up! You slept with
someone?" Jenn twirled around and looked at me. "You, 'Miss I Don't
Have Time for a Relationship', slept with someone? Do tell, girl."

"Oh, I can't wait to hear this
story." Julie plopped on the couch. "Come on, give it up."

I wanted to strangle Alex. It was bad
enough it would come out eventually, she didn't have to blurt it out like that.
"Alex can tell you."

"Uh uh, no way. You tell it. It's
your story." Alex sat on the chair opposite Jenn.

"Well, since you blurted it out,
it's your story. Go ahead and tell it." I wished I'd never mentioned it to
Alex. I didn't want to talk about it. Even now my stomach did flip flops at the
idea that Bill called. What did he want? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Come on, don't be such a baby. Tell
them what happened."

I walked away. A tall, dark haired, good
looking hunk stood in the kitchen doorway. Whoa, hunk didn't even begin to
describe him. He went beyond hunk. I could see why Julie was infatuated. At
least I was saved while Julie made the introductions.

* * *

After lunch my cell phone rang three more
times in a row.

"If you're not going to answer that,
at least turn it off." Alex said. "It's annoying."

"I think you should answer it. And I
still want to hear this story." Julie stared at me.

"Yeah, answer the darn thing. If
nothing else, tell him to bug off," Jenn said. "Here, let me do
it."

Before I could react, Jenn grabbed the
phone and flipped it open.

"Hello," she said sweetly.

I wanted to punch her. Sure my friends
meant well but this was something I needed to deal with on my own. In my own
way. I didn't need their interference.

Before I knew it, Jenn handed me the
phone. "Someone named Bill wants to talk to you."

I took the phone and almost slammed it
shut. Instead I put it to my ear. They were right. I needed to end this right
here and now. Otherwise he would just keep calling and it was annoying.

"Hello."

"Can we talk?"

I melted at the sound of his voice. Lord,
I loved this guy. Loved and hated him all at the same time. "We are."

"No, I mean person to person."

"What's this? I don't hear anyone
else?"

"I meant face to face."

"I don't think so. I have nothing to
say." I stood and walked away from my nosy friends.

"I do."

"Then say it and let me get on with
my life."

"What you thought you saw..."

"What I thought I saw. You're
kidding, right?" I knew I sounded cold, I didn't care. I was so angry I
could spit nails. What I thought I saw, the nerve of this guy. "I know
what I saw. There's no thinking about it."

"Okay, poor choice of words. I
wasn't kissing Kathy. I...she..."

I wanted to hang up. Bad enough he had
someone else on the line. I didn't need to listen to his lies too. I knew what
I saw and they were both swapping spit. No doubt in my mind.