Depths (7 page)

Don
’
t
look don
’
t look don
’
t look
…

I don
’
t
know how I knew, but I knew it. My reflection was still in the
mirror, watching me. That movement I felt was his
breathing.

No. That doesn
’
t happen in real life. Stop.

I shook the thought off and
grabbed my wait... Where are my keys? Not this again... I glanced
at the clock, 1:46 P.M. I needed to be on my way. I
don
’
t like to be
late.

Not on my desk, not on my bed, and it didn't look
like they were on the floor... Coffee table! I darted out of my
room and went straight to the coffee table, snatched the keys in
mid run and circled back around and out the front door. A little
voice in my head spoke up as I was walking out.

Bad idea mate.

What do you mean?

Just that. This is a bad idea. Tell her you can't
make it.

I need to see her though, she'll know what I should
do. She always does.

It
’
s a BAD idea. Just stop. Please stop. You don't want her
wrapped up in all of this do you?

She won't be. I promise.

I was going to finally see
her
again. How long had
it been? I couldn't remember. Way too long.
Way
too long... She could help me
though. If anyone could, it was
her
. She was always one step ahead
of me in knowing myself. She was the only thing I really truly
trusted anymore, and I could finally see her now.

I was half way there before I
realized I had forgotten to lock the door. So I turned back, dug
for the key, turn to the right, deadbolt slams home. Great,
can
’
t be too careful considering the
circumstances right? Satisfied, I went back to my car and got in. I
started the engine and headed back out down Memoir Drive. She only
lived a couple miles from me so it wouldn
’
t take me long to get
there.

I knew how our conversation would
start but what would happen afterward? I needed her help and
trusted her more than anything, but how do I explain what's
happening? That I was having dreams and hallucinating, dying on a
regular basis, never knowing what
’
s real and what
’
s not... How do you explain
insanity?

She was already worried, hell, if not calling her
for a while was cause for concern then this was cause for 24-hour
surveillance. I drove along down Memoir Drive and turned left at
the light onto Paramount Place and just drove. The sky was blue and
it was the perfect temperature. 75 degrees. Not too hot and not too
cold. It was a nice day. A much needed boost to my spirits.

The light changed red at the
intersection and I stopped behind a metallic green minivan. It had
a bumper sticker on it that read
“
Coexist
”
. Each letter used a
different religious symbol to make the letter. Cute. I didn't
really believe in anything. I had never wondered what happens when
we die, I figured we just died. But if that were the case, there
would be no more thought, no more conscious or subconscious
thinking. How do you think about what it would be like to not
think?

The driver behind me was honking his horn angrily.
The minivan was gone and the light was green. I must have drifted
off. Feeling rushed by the guy behind me, I pressed hard on the gas
pedal and sped off.

I continued down Paramount until I
turned onto Sunny Way. Weird street name. It was canopied on both
sides by weeping willow trees and there was hardly any sun to be
seen. I wove down the winding
street
, finally parking against
the curb outside her house. 24976 Sunny Way. No matter how fuzzy my
memory had gotten, I would always remember that address.

Ignition off. Quiet. I always felt unsettled on this
street. Maybe it was the willows with their leafy bows turned
downwards and the shadows they cast. Maybe it was the utter
silence, not a single person was on this street. No kids on bikes
or drawing with chalk, no fathers playing catch with their sons.
Completely deserted. I never liked being outside on this street for
very long.

I stepped out of my car, the
breeze passed over my ears and through my hair and sent a chill
down my back. I shuddered. Maybe it was from nervousness to
see
her
, maybe it was the unsettled feeling
, I don't know. I locked the car and walked the pathway to
her house.

She had done well with herself, studying criminal
law in college with a minor in human psychology sure paid off. As
much as I enjoyed her company, I always thought she was studying
and analyzing me, which I'm sure she was. Pointing out my obvious
bullshit aside, she was always able to find the deeper meaning in
my words. She was good at it too. It could be her profession, it
could be our history but whatever it was, she was good at it.

I
was
nervous, and I have no problem
admitting that. She could be a little intimidating and it was
awkward considering the reason we were meeting in the first
place.

Just be yourself!

I hated that expression,
“
Just be yourself.
”
How
stupid of a saying is that? Who is myself? What does that mean? And
yet a peppy voice in my head kept repeating the saying over and
over.

Knock knock!

Just be yourself!

Shut up.

I didn't hear her coming. So I knocked again. Still
nothing.

Hmm.

Just be yourself!

I gripped the door knob, perhaps it was open? I
twisted the knob and the door opened up. She had left the window in
the front of the house open and the breeze made the
floral-patterned curtains billow and whip around.

From the entryway I went to the
living room on the left. The coffee table had some magazines and a
coffee mug that was almost empty. Everything on the sofa looked
organized just like always. Pillows propped up, cushions completely
tucked in. The living room was connected to the kitchen straight
ahead and to the right was the staircase to the second floor with
the dining room to the right of that. I checked out the rest of the
first floor and I had to admire the place
—
hardwood floors, flat-screen TV mounted on the wall, an
overstuffed couch that looked like it
’
d be
amazing to sit on. Tasteful art in simple but elegant frames
decorated the walls and a lovely china cabinet in the living room
that complemented the floor.

She had rented the place out when she went to school
but asides from some of the upgraded furniture and knick knacks, it
was exactly the same as I remembered.

“
Hello?
”

Just be yourself!

No response. I started towards the staircase and
climbed up the hardwood steps. My shoes made a clunking sound that
I rather enjoyed, echoing off the walls pleasantly.

When I got to the landing just before the second set
of stairs is when I noticed that her lamp was knocked over. It was
a simple brass lamp that had belonged to her grandmother. It
normally sat on the little table to the right of the sofa which was
immediately to the left when you hit the second floor, but now it
was knocked over at the top of the staircase along with the table
it sat on. The shade was knocked off and the bulb was broken,
littering the top few steps with glass.

I stood there on the landing and I felt my stomach
knotting up. Something had happened.

Movement.

Twitching.

Shadows darting in and out of
sight. Circling and taunting me. I was becoming increasingly jumpy
from the movement. Everything seemed like it was moving in this
fucking house.
My
house. It was like ants crawling on my skin. When I wasn't
seeing things, I
felt
like I was. I knew they were there even if I didn't
know
where
and I
was growing weary of their games. I just wanted to wake up from
this and snap back to reality. It seemed like months had passed and
yet there was no snap. No jolting awake, no reprieve.

The clock read 1:16 P.M. And yet
there was no sun in the sky outside. I peeked through the blinds in
my living room and there wasn
’
t a single
trace of light. It wasn't even dark, there was just nothing there.
Nothing at all. The sky, the neighborhood, even the walls on the
outside of my house were just gone. Nothing existed outside of the
walls in which I was confined.

A rattling sound caught my
attention, I could feel my ears straining towards the direction of
the noise from behind my left shoulder. There it was! I grinned in
delight, finally catching the unseen thing that was constantly
running about my house. Always moving just barely within my
peripherals, making its damn rattling sound
—
like chain link fence being hit with a
shovel
—
and never allowing me any rest. I
finally had you, you son of a bitch!

My pulse quickened and I turned around on my heels,
dashing off after it down the halls. The hallways had multiplied
since I took up residency here, this had to have been the third one
I had discovered inside my house in such a short period of time.
And to think I had never noticed them before... How peculiar.

But no matter. I would finally be
able to catch
it
.
The dimly lit hallway wound and snaked its way throughout my house
and I could never keep the thing in my sight for too long. It ran
like a human would
—
for the most part at
least
—
although it used its hands to run
every now and then.

The damn light
…
I had been trying to find the source of the light
in this hallway for hours but I was never able to get to it. It
pulsated, waxing and waning in short intervals and I longed to see
its source. I imagined feeling the warmth upon my skin. God how I
missed warmth... The damn thermometer was completely unresponsive.
Just give it a little tap, one more tap.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap!!!!!!!!

Fucking thing just wouldn't work! Tap tap tap!
Hello?! Ripping it off the wall didn't help either. Not when a few
minutes later a new one had replaced it. 75 degrees it said. It
always said 75 degrees. If it was 75 fucking degrees I wouldn't be
seeing my own breath!

So of course I ripped that one
from the wall as well, but to no avail. It just kept coming back!
It was just there to mock my struggles and tell me the temperature
I
should
be
feeling, but wasn't.

Fucker.

Limbs scampered along down the
hall. Whatever it was it was, was
fast
. But I would catch it
soon.

Clink clink clink!

The chains trailing behind it smacked the walls,
finally explaining the noises I had been hearing.

I was closing in. Almost there... Just a little more
reach... And....

Got it!

I jerked back with all my strength and planted my
heels into the floor.

A choked gasp escaped it and the chain went slack,
causing me to lose balance and fall flat on my back.

The hallway curved sharply left
and I couldn
’
t
see around it so I had no idea what it was doing. Still stunned, I
began crawling in its direction. After about five crawl-steps I
could see its feet from around the bend. Human feet. That was a
relief at least. Toes curling and uncurling almost in sync with the
pulsing light. Long slender legs grew from its feet as I continued
around the hall. They were pale, not like someone who hadn't gotten
a tan but a sick pale. Like someone's face right before they
vomited.

I finally had you.

No more would you scamper about and torment me. No
more would your chains smack my walls as you scampered, keeping any
wink of sleep from my eyes. You were mine now.

I noticed it was a woman's figure
now. The slender legs ended in a shapely ass, covered only by a
pair of white cotton panties. Her body contoured along the bend
from the hallway. Chains indeed bound her and she was slowing down,
taking ragged breaths. I moved ever so slowly not wanting to
startle and panic whoever or whatever it was. But when I saw the
face I
—

—
Stood rooted to the landing on
the staircase, unsure of whether I should proceed. The knocked over
lamp was
a bad omen. A
definite tell-tale sign that something was wrong.
Very wrong.

I told you not to go...

And you gave me no reason! I retorted back to
myself.

I looked down at the steps in front of me and back
up the stairs. She might be hurt, I had to see for myself.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time I
made my way up the stairs.

Our breathing was heavy. Limbs wrapped around each
other, I couldn't keep track of whose was whose. She grasped my
face and pulled me to her mouth, forcing my willing lips to meet
her own. She pulled at me so hard that it hurt, her teeth sunk and
dug into my lips. The room was hot like the night before, thick
with the scent of sweat and sex. I could spend the rest of my life
in this moment. Her legs rose up, wrapped and constricted around
me, pulling me deeper and deeper.