Demon's Dream (High Demon Series #6) (33 page)

"This is where some arrive to cross over," Connegar walked beside me in a beautiful field filled with flowers. The flowers were so tall they came to my waist and I could smell the sweet scent of them as I walked through. Barefoot as I was, nothing harmed my feet as I walked. The grass was like the softest carpet beneath my soles.

"Nothing will harm you here. This is a protected area. There are other places to cross over. Some are dangerous. Those are reserved for the ones who have done evil during their lives."

"You do this? Bring people here when they can't find their way?" I don't know how I knew that, but I did.

"Yes. As does my mother. See, she is waiting for us." I looked ahead, and Conner was waiting for us, next to a shimmery curtain that reflected the field we walked through.

"Reah," Conner smiled at me and beckoned me forward. "I have arranged for you to see these. Remember, none can bring physical harm to you, now. There is no need to fear."

Connegar stood at my back, hands on my shoulders when the first one walked through the shimmer. I don't think he was allowed to walk farther than he did, and I was glad. Even so, I backed against Connegar as far as I could. Edan Desh, the one I'd known growing up, stood before me.

"Reah." He dropped to his knees and bowed his head to the ground. I had no idea what he was doing.

"Now you recognize?" Conner's voice was hard and her eyes were bright as stars.

"I am not worthy to apologize," Edan mumbled.

"Will you not explain to her?" Conner asked.

"It is too terrible. I was wrong. I have to try harder next time."

"He is punishing himself," Connegar said quietly behind me.

"How is he punishing himself?" I looked up at the tall Larentii.

"He is planning his next lifetimes. He will suffer during those lifetimes. The Edan that Kifirin brought back has already suffered and his misdeeds are wiped away."

"You are not obligated to forgive me," Edan still hadn't looked at me.

"Stand up," I said. Edan stood, his head still bowed.

"Look at me." He lifted his eyes. Terrible sorrow clouded their depths. "I wanted you to love me," I said. "I didn't know why you wouldn't. I worked hard in the kitchen, thinking you would notice and give a kind word or something."

"I know that, now. Children are so vulnerable. They are born needing love. I robbed you of that. Twice. I was selfish and thought of myself and what I wanted." I looked into Edan's hazel eyes. He was being honest for a change. When I was growing up in the kitchens of Desh's number two, he'd seldom been honest—with anyone, including, most likely, himself. All had suffered at his hands who worked under him, but I was the one whose bones were broken.

"If I could take it all back now, I would," he said. "And not just because it would make my future lives easier. My path did not lie through this meadow," he sighed. "It lay through a dark land filled with sharp rocks that I walked through with no shoes. I was forced to walk through it with no help, daughter."

"Then I am sorry for you," I said. "I know what pain is, and it gives me pain to see another suffer, even if they are not kind."

"I know." Edan hung his head again. "I am so sorry. I see many things, now. And the ones who teach me show me many things. Point out others still struggling through their lives. Ask me what path they should take. I am learning."

"Do they love you?" I asked.

"Yes. And I am not deserving in this stage of my existence."

"We all learn things," I said. "Or we should. I wish it were a good thing to see you, Edan, but I have terrible memories."

"I know. And I understand that. I wish I could offer comfort, but I am not allowed to touch."

"And I cannot trust, because you did what you did, and then others that came after you did the same. And I wish I could trust, Edan. That was a gift that was stripped away at a very early age."

"If I could give you a gift, what would you have of me?" Edan asked.

"Something you can't give," I said. "I will never have a father's love. Not as it should be. A father loves and protects his child, don't you think? Do you know what it was that I did in the life before this one, to deserve what happened to me? Do you know?" I was wiping tears away.

"I am not allowed to give information," he said. "Seeing you is like a flower drinking in rain after a drought. I wish I'd lived my life better, so I would see my grandson."

"I suppose you will see him in a way," I said. "You in another life will see him, but we don't talk much because he wears your face and the memories are too difficult to bear. We will never be close, I think."

"Yes. They said that to me."

"It is time. Is there anything else you wish to say to Reah before you go back?" Conner asked.

"I wish I could have loved," he said. "I could have done so much for you. Good-bye, Reah. I wish you well." I watched him turn and disappear in the shimmer, trying not to sob.

The next one to walk through was almost as bad. Addah Desh stood before me, and he wept. "I take it back, I take it back," he sobbed. "Tell all of them I'm sorry and I take it back."

"Take what back?" My tears were dripping onto the flowers, and they bloomed even brighter around me. Addah's tears sizzled on the ground.

"The jealousy. The mistrust. The hate. I take it back."

"I think they only wanted your love, Addah," I lifted the sleeve of my caftan and wiped tears. My cheeks and fingers were soaked.

"I know. And I let Marzi tell me what to do with you. She said to send you to Shirves and to Edan. I think she goaded him to beat you. It didn't take much, as it turned out."

"No, I think he took pleasure in it," I agreed. "My childhood was far from happy."

"Yes. It was a terrible time. I should have paid more attention. I only had one use for women. In my next life I will be female, Reah. And I will suffer. Will you take pleasure in that?"

"What do you think, Addah? You think I take pleasure in another's pain?"

He blinked at me. "No." His eyes dropped. "I see that you don't. Do any of them have love for me? Do they?"

"I don't know, Addah. They seldom speak of you."

"Are they poor now? The ones who teach me refuse to let me see them, since I treated them so badly."

"No. What you withheld, I gave back to them. All your recipes I recreated and the restaurants are thriving, now. Uncle Fes refuses to marry, I think. I believe he worries that he will mistreat a wife or wives as you did."

"You recreated all of it? You gave it back, for nothing?" Addah was trying to understand that.

"Stop looking at things from that perspective," a shining being stepped through the shimmer and took Addah's hand. "Come, we will discuss this." The being nodded to Conner and then to Connegar and me before leading Addah back inside.

"Marzi has not learned enough to come through," Conner sighed. "It will take a while for her. The next one is a gift, before she goes into the world again." My mother stepped through the curtain.

"Reah, you are so beautiful," she said and I wept again. She looked so much like Glinda, only she had green eyes, as I do. "I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I know you missed that when you were little."

"You couldn't help it," I sobbed.

"Reah, don't cry. Things will come to you. I promise."

"But they left me nothing," I wept. "Not even a photograph. Like you didn't exist. And now my daughters have forgotten me, too. Like I don't exist. What terrible cruelty is this?" I dropped to my knees and shook with grief.

"Little one," someone knelt next to me. Placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Who are you?" I looked into his face, my eyes swimming with tears.

"I am Lendevik Lith," he said.

* * *

"Thank goodness," Edward jumped to his feet when Connegar and Nefrigar appeared in his kitchen. He'd waited up, hoping Reah would return. Reah slept in Nefrigar's arms.

"This has been a very trying day for my love," Nefrigar kissed Reah's forehead. "Take her to bed with you. Let her wake in your arms. The baby is restless," Nefrigar smiled about that. "I believe he is making up for lost time."

"No doubt," Edward smiled. Nefrigar handed Reah over.

* * *

"Reah, open your eyes. The sun is shining on the gishi fruit trees." Edward kissed my forehead.

"Honey?" I stared up at him. He was holding me, wrapped in blankets on the deck outside our connected suites. He set my feet on the smooth wood boards of the deck, kept his arms around me and leaned his chin on my head as we watched the sunlight move over the trees below us. "You were a genius to put the house here," I said.

"I built it for you," he kissed the top of my head. "My Elemaiyan grandfather is a foreseer. He described you to me. The funny thing is, I was attracted to a girl when I was young who had white hair. Grandfather told me that she wasn't you. He didn't give me a name; he said that would be a surprise. He also said you'd be pregnant when I found you. When Keedan set you down at my table, he had no idea what you'd be to me. I sent him a case of wine afterward, plus a nice bonus."

"You're so good," I sighed.

"Reah, I can say the same thing to you. You are everything I dreamed of, only better. I was scared to death yesterday, when they had to fix you. I'm begging you not to let something like that happen again. I don't think my heart can stand it."

"I wasn't thrilled about it, either," I half-turned in his arms and tapped his nose with a finger.

"I know," he leaned down to kiss me. "They say no sex for four weeks. I think we'll go crazy in that time."

"And I'll be seven months pregnant and big as a house," I said.

"My erection might be almost as big by that time," he laughed.

"Farzi and Nenzi tell me that showers will fix that." Edward laughed harder. I was seated in the swing and breakfast was brought to the deck when the rest of them showed up. Chairs appeared everywhere, as did folding tables. Everybody was laughing, talking and eating.

"Here," Edward fed me a bite of ham. It was very good. Teeg knelt in front of me and put his hands on my belly. Garwin Wyatt was moving about as if he were happy about that.

"Honey, that's your daddy," I was rubbing my belly, too.

"Reah, are you feeling better today?" Teeg asked.

"I'm still a little sore. And I need to talk to Glinda."

"I can see if she'll come," he nodded.

"No, I need to go there," I said.

* * *

"Holy cow," Edward stared up at the life-size sculptures of High Demons in full Thifilathi that lined the hall inside the palace in Veshtul. The palace was amazing, until you saw what Lissa had. But then the same vampire had designed both. He'd saved the very best for Le-Ath Veronis, and I couldn't blame him.

"You wanted to see us?" Glinda asked as we were led into Jayd's private office.

"Yes," I nodded to her. "I have a message for you."

* * *

"We'll have to keep Reah away. She is in no shape to come," Renegar said. "It is fate that they're moving this quickly, but we will stand against them."

"We will stand against them," Kiarra smiled up at her son. "All of us. I've had visions of this, over the years. A last battle, with all of us charging the enemy. We'll do this. Win or lose, it'll all be out there."

"Yes, mother. It will. My son, the Wise One, and my grandson the Wise One say that we Larentii should hold back until the last. We will do so, although it may be difficult."

"Then that's what you should do," Kiarra said, rubbing his back affectionately.

* * *

"Before I deliver the message," I said, "I have to give you something." Glinda looked at me expectantly, but she wasn't expecting where I went. I walked to a corner of Jayd's study, where rows of tightly fitted stones butted against one another to form a right angle. Windows lined both walls on either side of those stones. One of the stones gave way when I pushed against it, revealing a small space inside. I pulled a velvet bag from that space while Glinda and Jayd watched. I handed the bag to Glinda, who stared at me, openmouthed. He said she'd know who sent the message when Glinda received the bag. She did. I could see the shock in her eyes.

"How did you?" She couldn't finish the question.

"He told me," I said, shrugging.

"What is this?" Jayd demanded. Glinda opened the bag and poured the contents onto Jayd's desk.

"He said Tarevik hunted high and low for these, after he took the throne by force. Without these, Tarevik would never have ruled. And Rorevik, after him, didn't find them. These belong to the ruling King. Given by Kifirin, long ago, to Glinda's father, Lendevik Lith. I saw him yesterday and he told me where to find them."

"But what are they?" Jayd asked, staring at the thumb-sized blue crystals.

"Kifirin's tears," I said.

Chapter 15
 

"My father said that Kifirin came to him, from the future," Glinda's voice was hushed. "He said that Kifirin gave him a secret that couldn't be repeated. My father let me hold these stones; he said that Kifirin cried these and they fell to the stone floor like this."