Demon Hunting In Dixie (13 page)

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Authors: Lexi George

BOOK: Demon Hunting In Dixie
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To Addy's relief, the rest of the customers shook their heads. Thank God the restaurant wasn't crowded yet and the food at the Sweet Shop was so delicious. All the other diners must have been too busy stuffing their faces to notice the floating bottle of hot sauce.
“I know what I saw, Delmonte Williams.” Viola's voice rose. “And I saw that bottle of hot sauce float off the kitchen shelf and go right out the door like it had wings or something.”
“Vi,” Del pleaded. “Think about what you're saying.”
“I don't have to think. I saw what I saw.” Wild eyed, Viola looked around the room. She marched up to them like an avenging fury and pointed to the bottle of Texas Pete. “Where'd you get that hot sauce?”
“Uh,” Addy said. Great, brain freeze. Again. “I uh—”
“I got it for them, Miss Vi. Used my contrabulator.” Amasa Collier slid out of the back booth and ambled up to their table. Eyes lowered, he pulled his hand from behind his back. He held a contraption made out of two coat hangers straightened and twisted together. “I heard Miss Evie say she'd like some hot sauce, so I took the liberty of getting it for her. Sorry if I startled you.” He bobbed the wire up and down. “See, it's got this handy little loop at one end for grabbing things. I opened the door a crack and snagged a bottle of Texas Pete right off the shelf. Guess you didn't see me. From a distance, you probably couldn't see the wire, either, and thought the bottle was levitating. I'm sorry if I frightened you. I was trying to help.”
“Well, ain't that nice.” Viola looked relieved and a little put out. “Next time, Amasa, wave at me so as I can see you. You like to give me a stroke.”
“Yes, ma'am. I'm real sorry.”
Shaking her head, Viola shooed Del back into the kitchen.
“Nice—uh—contrabulator, Mr. Collier,” Addy said. “What's it for?”
“It's a kind of divining rod, I guess you might say. I tinker around with wire sculpture, and I recently started using coat hangers as a medium. Makes some interesting pieces, and reusing coat hangers is Earth-friendly. No sense relegating a perfectly good coat hanger to the dump yard when I can make something out of it. You still staying in your aunt's house?”
“Yes, sir.”
Brand gave her a curious look. “The dwelling you occupy belongs to someone else?”
She nodded. “I keep an eye on things while my Aunt Muddy is away. Muddy likes to travel. It's been a good arrangement for us both.”
“You think she's coming home anytime soon?” Mr. Collier sounded wistful. “She's been gone almost a year. I miss her.”
“You know Muddy. She could blow into town any time, or get a hankering to see New Zealand.”
Mr. Collier scuffed his foot on the linoleum. “Yeah, you never know what she'll do. Well, you and your aunt come by the house sometime if you like, and I'll show you gals my work.”
“Sure thing, Mr. C. I'd like that. Soon as Muddy gets back, we'll drop by.” She waved a hand at Brand and Ansgar, who were once again demolishing ribs with single-minded devotion. “Mr. Collier, allow me to introduce my friends, Brand and Ansgar.” She nudged Brand with her elbow. “Brand, this is Amasa Collier. He and my Aunt Muddy are old friends. Went to high school together, in fact.”
Brand wiped his hands on a paper towel and shook Mr. Collier's hand. “Well met, Amasa Collier. Adara says you are the town drunk and crazy as a loon.”
Evie spewed her corn muffin all over Addy.
Red faced, Addy brushed the crumbs off her blouse. “Brand, what a thing to say! Mr. Collier, my
friend
here has a warped sense of humor. I didn't say any such thing.”
“Adara, that is an untruth and you know it,” Brand said. “Why do you dissemble?”
Addy flashed Mr. Collier a nervous smile. “Brand, you're embarrassing me. We'll talk about it later.”
To Addy's surprise, Amasa chuckled. “It's all right, Addy, I
am
the town drunk, and you aren't the first person to call me crazy.”
Addy felt terrible. “I'm sorry, Mr. Collier,” she said in a rush, her face flaming hotter. When would she learn to keep her big mouth shut? Please, God, let the floor open and swallow her up. “I don't know what else to say. I didn't mean to—”
“Always kind of figured I was crazy myself, until now,” Amasa cut her off. “I was in a car wreck when I was a few years older than you, Addy. Had a concussion and spent a few days in the hospital. After the accident, I started seeing things, things normal people don't see. Figured folks were right and I was crazy. Started drinking, and my law practice dried up. Didn't care about that. I wanted the visions to stop. The drinking helped, so I drank more. You see, when I drink, I don't see things. Been drinking nigh on thirty years.” He took a deep breath. “Not drunk this morning, though. As a general rule, I don't start drinking before noon. I may be a drunk, but I got my standards. Saw that bottle of hot sauce float across the room, and figured it was another hallucination. Then I saw the expression on your face, Addy. Evie's, too. You both saw that bottle fly. I know it.” He looked at Brand and Ansgar. “Since both of these girls looked plum flummoxed, I figure one of you fellows did it. That right?”
Ansgar nodded, his expression wary. “I am responsible. I am in your debt, Friend Collier.”
“No, no, quite the opposite, Mr. Ansgar. I owe you. All these years, I been sure I'm crazy, but for the first time I'm thinking . . . maybe not.” He beamed at them. “Figure something big must be in the wind to bring the Dalvahni to Hannah.”
Addy felt Brand go still beside her, like a predator ready to pounce. She stole a glance at him. The hard, ruthless expression on his beautiful face sent a chill down her spine. Whew, make that a large, very ticked-off predator.
“How do you know of the Dalvahni, Mr. Collier?” he asked softly.
Amasa chuckled. “How do you think? A demon told me, that's how.” His gaze shifted to a spot behind Brand. “That's a real nice sword you got there. Your friend's longbow is a real beaut, too. Don't see workmanship like that anymore. Well, nice to meet you, gentlemen. I'm sure I'll see you around. 'Spect you'll be real busy, you being demon hunters and all. Whole dad-blame town is crawling with the nasty critters.”
He stepped away from the table and looked back with a grin. “By the way, Addy, nice hair. It suits you, though I'm sure yo' mama's going to have something to say about it. You know how she is.”
Swinging his contrabulator, he sauntered out the door.
Chapter Thirteen
T
he door closed behind Mr. Collier with a jingle. Looking out the window, Addy saw him pause on the sidewalk. He waved his contrabulator back and forth in front of him. She smothered a giggle. No doubt about it, Amasa was an odd duck. She glanced at Brand and Ansgar and stifled a gasp. Yikes! The two warriors watched the gray-haired man through the plate glass window with the unblinking, hungry intensity of a polar bear eying a baby seal.
“Guys, guys, take a chill pill,” she said. “Mr. Collier is harmless.”
“He is not harmless. He could see our weapons, and he knows we are Dalvahni,” Brand said. “He also admits to consorting with demons. He is dangerous.”
“Mr. Collier, consort with demons?” Addy picked up a drumstick. “Didn't you hear a thing the poor man said? The demons have been pestering him. All these years he's been drinking so he
won't
see them. That's so sad.”
She took a bite of the drumstick, and the delicious taste of fried chicken walloped her senses. The golden-brown skin was crisp and seasoned to perfection, the dark meat tender and juicy. Her mouth had a little orgasm right then and there, in front of God and everybody. God, she loved fried chicken. Loved the smell of it, loved it hot or cold, summer or winter, any time of day. If the scent of fried chicken could be bottled, she'd wear it.
Bouquet de poulet frit
. So what if every dog in town followed her around? She'd smell like a little slice of heaven.
With an effort, she recalled her thoughts from her culinary orgy and handed the bread basket to Evie. “Here, have another corn muffin. I'm still wearing most of your first one.”
“Thanks.” Evie took another corn muffin and shook hot sauce on it. “Addy is right about Mr. Collier. He's a sweetheart.”
Addy gave Brand a stern look. “Seems to me, you big, bad demon hunters ought to think about enlisting Mr. Collier's help. Maybe he can tell you where the creepy dudes hang out. How many demons are we talking here, anyway? Two? Three?”
“I do not know,” Brand said. “At first, this seemed like any other mission, but it has turned out to be anything but ordinary, in more ways than one.” He gave Addy such a smoldering look it was a blue wonder she didn't burst into flames on the spot. “If this is, indeed, Han-nah-a-lah,” he continued, just as if he hadn't raised her internal temperature by a few degrees, “we may be dealing with an infestation. If that is the case, we may need reinforcements.”
Evie looked up, the bottle of Texas Pete in her hand. “Han-nah-a-lah? What's that?”
Addy snorted. “These two think Hannah is some kind of demon magnet, a kind of metaphysical morass that attracts paranormal phenomena.
Hannah.
Is that messed up, or what?”
Evie looked down at her plate. “I don't think it's so messed up.”
Addy stared at her in surprise. “You don't?”
Evie's hand tightened around the Texas Pete bottle. “Mr. Collier's not the only one in Hannah who sees things.”
“What is this?” Ansgar demanded. “Do you have the sight, Evangeline?”
“No-o-o-o, I don't see demons, if that's what you mean.”
Ansgar's tense expression eased. “That is good, very good.”
“I see fairies.”
Addy's mouth dropped open. It seemed to be doing that a lot today. Maybe the damn thing had a busted hinge or something. “Say what?”
Evie lifted her chin. “I said I see fairies.”
Ansgar frowned. “By fairies, do you mean small supernatural beings that are human in form and possess magical powers?”
“Yes.”
“How long?” Addy blurted out.
“Well, they vary in size . . .”
“I'm not asking you how big they are, Evie. How long have you been able to see them?”
“Like always. My mother saw them, too. Guess it's genetic.”
A black hole opened at Addy's feet. Her best friend saw fairies—had
always
been able to see fairies—and she was clueless until now.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“Addy, I've heard the way you talk about your aunt Etheline and Mr. Collier. I didn't want you thinking I'm crazy, too.”
“Evie, for crying out loud, a few minutes ago you found out I'm not
human,
and you didn't kick me to the curb. That's a pretty darn good friend, if you ask me. I think I can handle a little Tinker Bell.”
“Oh, Addy.” Evie flung her napkin over her face and burst into tears.
Ansgar put his arm around Evie and scowled at Addy. “See what you have done, you pestilential female. She is leaking.”
“Me? I didn't do anything to her!”
Evie lowered her napkin. She was smiling through her tears. “It's all right. I'm so happy to be able to talk about it, that's all. You don't know how many times I wanted to tell you, Addy, but I couldn't. Mama made me promise. She was afraid of how people would react.” She gave Addy a watery smile. “But, we're both different now, so I guess it's okay.”
“Oh, Evie.” Addy started to cry, too. “You are such a nut.”
Laughing and crying, they clasped hands across the table.
“Now they are both leaking,” Ansgar said in a tone of disgust.
“Females are most peculiar.” Brand looked down at the pile of bones on his platter. “Perhaps we should order another round of roasted meat?”
“You can't be serious!” Addy sat back in her chair. “You've eaten enough to feed a small army.”
“I never jest about food, Adara. The fare here is exceptional, but I am still hungry.” He eyed Addy's plate. “On second thought, brother, we should sample the fried poultry. The scent is tantalizing.”
“Like cows in red clover,” Addy told Evie with a shake of her head.
She caught Pauline's attention, gave the waitress the order, and sat back to wait for the explosion. Sure enough, a few moments later Viola slammed out of the kitchen.
“What's this about you two wanting fried chicken?” she said. “Something wrong with them ribs?”
She stared at the heap of bones in front of the two warriors. “You ate a whole hog in less than fifteen minutes and you want chicken? Lord have mercy. Del!
Del,
get the camera and get out here. You gotta see this.”
“What is it now, woman?” Delmonte entered the dining room from the back. “A napkin dispenser grow legs and do a tap dance or something?”
“Very funny.” Viola pointed to the stack of bones. “Them two ate a whole hog
each,
and they're wantin' chicken. Have you seen anything to beat it?”
“ 'Course I have,” Del scoffed. “Ate like that myself when I was a younger man. Can't do it no more, 'cause I gots to watch my figure. Well, don't stand there, Vi. Take their picture and then bring these gentlemen some chicken.”
Del gave Brand and Ansgar a conspiratorial wink and disappeared back into the kitchen. Brand and Ansgar posed on either side of the huge pile of decimated pork ribs. Their picture was snapped, the table cleared, and a platter with a dozen pieces of hot fried chicken placed in front of them. They attacked the chicken with the same ruthless ferocity they'd devoted to the ribs. In no time at all, the fried chicken was gone.
Brand sat back and wiped his hands on his napkin. “That was most enjoyable. Quite splendid. I would not be averse to finishing off such an excellent meal with a dish of sweetmeats.”
“Sweetmeats? You mean
dessert
on top of what you ate?” Addy shuddered. “I think I'm going to be sick.”
Brand looked concerned. “You feel ill, little one? We will leave at once.”
“No, no, I was kidding.” Addy motioned to the waitress and pointed to Brand. “He wants dessert, Pauline. Can you stand it?”
“Ain't that something?” Pauline said in an almost pleasant tone, eyeing Brand up and down. “Glad I ain't yo' mama. You musta et that poor woman out of house and home. We got 'nanner puddin' and chocolate pie. Them's yer choices.” At a startled yelp from another table, Pauline barked over her shoulder, “Hold your horses, Jim Bob. I'm coming.” She turned back to them. “ 'Scuse me a sec. That's the second glass of sweet tea Jim Bob's done tumped over this morning. Man's an accident waiting to happen. Think about what you want, and I'll be right back.”
“I am not familiar with either dish,” Brand said as Pauline hurried off.
“Whoa, you mean, you've never had
chocolate
?” Addy was horrified. “Chocolate is a
necessity.
How could you live ten thousand years without chocolate? That's harsh.”
Evie paled. “Wait a minute. Did you say
ten thousand years
?”
“Do not let the difference in our ages trouble you, Evangeline,” Ansgar murmured. He brushed the back of Evie's hand with his lips. She blushed. “I merely existed until I met you.”
“Why, Blondy, that was actually nice!” Addy said. “Maybe you're not a complete hemorrhoid after all.”
“You cannot imagine how relieved I am that you approve.”
“Hah, you'd better want my approval, Slick. That's my best friend you're slobbering all over.”
“My name is Ansgar, not Blondy or Slick, and I do not slob—”
They were still bickering when Pauline came back to their table. She gave Brand a sympathetic look. “Them two sound like a couple of cats in a croaker sack. They go at it like this all the time?”
Brand sighed. “I am afraid so.”
“Kind of like being nibbled to death by ducks, ain't it?”
“An apt description, Mistress Pauline.”
“Sorry about that, mister. You seem like a nice feller. And you're easy on the eyes, that's for sure. Kinda remind me of my third husband. 'Course he was shorter 'n you and bow-legged, and bald and ugly as a mud fence daubed with lizards, but you remind me of him all the same. Had them same bedroom eyes. Give me that come-hither look and that was all she wrote, 'til I caught him cheating on me. In
my
bed, mind you. Bumping nasties with another woman on my sheets. Sicced the dogs on the both of them. They was my dogs, see, and they never did cotton to Fred Frank—Fredrick Franklin Bowden, that was his proper name. Real pretty, ain't it? Kept the name and dumped the skunk. Last time I seen him, he was running down the road naked with the dogs nipping at his giblets. I laid into his girlfriend with the broom handle, and she took off out the window shrieking like a Howler monkey.” She sighed. “Well, that's enough of that. I don't get paid to stand here and look at you, much as I'd like to. You want dessert, or what?”
“He'll take the chocolate,” Addy said. “Heck, Pauline, better make it a whole pie.”
Pauline grunted and vanished into the kitchen. She returned a short while later with the pie. She plopped it down on the table along with two dessert plates and forks. Taking a knife out of her apron pocket, she deftly sliced the pie into four large sections. She flipped the knife on its side, scooped a five-inch thick slice of chocolate heaven out of the plate, and dumped it on one of the saucers. A frothy white swirl of lightly toasted meringue crowned the sinfully rich chocolate base, jiggling in sugary invitation.
She slid the piece of pie and a fork in front of Brand. “Don't go for sweets much, myself, but that there's better'n cake.”
“Thank you, Mistress Pauline.” Brand picked up his fork and took a large bite of pie. His eyes widened with pleasure. “I must say, this is quite tasty.”
Pauline made a sound like a startled hen. “Told you it was good.”
She shoved their empty dishes onto a plastic tray and hurried off.
Addy stared after the waitress in surprise. “I'm not sure, but I think Pauline laughed.”
“Either that or she laid an egg,” Evie said.
“I cannot allow you to ridicule Mistress Pauline.” Brand slid a second piece of pie onto his plate. “She brought pie.”
Addy rolled her eyes. “Mr. I Cannot Allow. Pauline's his new best friend all because she brought him pie. Wonder if he realizes Miss Vi made it?”
Brand took another bite of pie. “I hold Mistress Viola in the highest esteem. She is a jewel among jewels, a goddess of the hearth, a treasure to be protected at all costs.” He waved his fork at Ansgar. “Brother, you must try this . . . this chocolate.” He took another bite and closed his eyes as if savoring the flavor. “It sends pleasure straight from the tongue to the brain. It is quite unlike anything I have had before.”
“If you insist.”
“I do.”
Ansgar shrugged and forked a chunk of pie into his mouth straight out of the pie plate. Watching him, Addy knew the exact moment the chocolate registered with his brain. The bored expression on his lean face vanished, and his silver eyes glowed with pleasure.

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