Delphi Complete Works of Anton Chekhov (Illustrated) (366 page)

SCENE XII.

PLATONOV and GLAGOLYEV II.

GLAGOLYEV II. A strange character! Three roubles . . . for no reason at all. (Shouts.) I can give you three roubles myself! H’m . . . What an idiot! (To Platonov.) He shocks me terribly with his stupidity. (Laughs.) He’s stupid to indecency!

PLATONOV. Well, dancer, why aren’t you dancing? GLAGOLYEV II. Dance? Here? With whom, allow me to ask? (Sits at Platonov’s side.*)

PLATONOV. Isn’t there anybody to dance with? GLAGOLYEV II. What types! Who wants to look at them! What phizes, with hooked noses . . . and how affected! ... As for the ladies . . . (Laughs.) [Small-pox and chalk, instead of powder . . .] The devil knows what! In the presence of such a crowd, I always prefer the buffet to dancing. (PaUse.) What a foul air one finds here in Russia! What a rank, stifling air ... I can’t bear Russia! • . . What boorishness, stench . . . Brrr . . . Have you ever been in Paris?

PLATONOV. No.

GLAGOLYEV II. What a pity! In any case, you still have a chance. When you intend going there, then

tell me. I will reveal all the secrets of Paris to you. I will give you three hundred letters of introduction and three hundred ardent French cocottes into your charge. . . .

PLATONOV. Thank you. I am sated, as it is. Tell me, is it true your father intends buying Platonovka? GLAGOLYEV II. Really, I don’t know. I don’t concern myself with commerce... Have you noticed how mon fere pays attention to the general’s widow? (Laughs.) There’s another type for you! The old badger wants to marry! [I’ll rid him of his desire! ] He’s as stupid as a hen! As for the widow, she is charmante! Not bad-looking at all! (Pause.) She’s such a dear, such a dear . . . And her form! Fi-fi! (Slaps Platonov on the shoulder.) Lucky man! She draws herself rather tight in the waist, eh?

PLATONOV. I don’t know. I am never present at her toilet.

GLAGOLYEV II. I’ve been told . . . Surely, you . . .

PLATONOV. YOU, Count, are an idiot. GLAGOLYEV II. I only joked . . . Why get angry? You are certainly an odd fellow! (In a low voice.) Is it true what they say that she . . . Rather a delicate question, but I presume, between ourselves . . . Is it true what they say that she sometimes loves money and drink?

PLATONOV. You’d better ask her. GLAGOLYEV II. Ask her? (Laughs.) What an idea!

PLATONOV (changing his seat to another form). What a master you are at tiring one! GLAGOLYEV II [laughing). Really, suppose I should ask her! Why not?

PLATONOV. To be sure. (Aside.) Just ask! She’ll slap your stupid cheeks for you! (To him.) Yes, ask! GLAGOLYEV II (jumping to his feet). I swear, it’s a great idea! A thousand devils! Of course, I’ll ask, and I give you my word, Platonov, that she’s mine! I have a presentiment! Indeed, I’ll ask her at once! I’ll wager you, she’s mine! (Runs toward the house and, in the doorway, runs into Anna Petrovna and Triletzky.) Mille pardons, madame! (Bows to her and exit.)

(Platonov resumes his old place.)

PLATONOV,

ANNA PETROVNA AND

TRILETZKY.

TRILETZKY (on the steps). There he sits, our great sage and philosopher! He sits, and with impatience he awaits his prey: to whom he might read a lecture on some future dream!

ANNA PETROVNA. Does he bite?

TRILETZKY. Little, I fear. He doesn’t seem to be up to much tonight! Poor moralist! Pm sorry for you, %Platonov! However, I am drunk and . . . well . . . the priest is waiting for me. Good-bye! (Goes away.)

ANNA PETROVNA (approaching Platonov). Why do you sit here?

PLATONOV. It’s stifling in the house, and this good sky is better than a ceiling whitewashed by women!

ANNA PETROVNA (sitting down). What lovely weather! The air is clear, cool, and here are the stars and the moon! It’s too bad, ladies aren’t allowed to sleep out-of-doors under the sky. When I was a little girl, during the summer I used to sleep in the garden. (Pause.) Is that a new neck-tie you have on?

PLATONOV. Yes, it’s a new one... (Pause.)

ANNA PETROVNA. I feel in a strange mood tonight.

. . . Everything seems to please me... Why don’t you say something, Platonov? Why are you silent? Pve come here especially to hear you talk. . . .

PLATONOV. What do you want me to say?

ANNA PETROVNA. Tell me something new, something good, something piquant... Really, it seems to me Pm in love with you more than ever tonight. You’re such a dear tonight!

PLATONOV. And you’re such a beauty tonight. . . .

Indeed, you’re always a beauty!

ANNA PETROVNA. We are friends, Platonov, aren’t we?

PLATONOV. Without doubt . . . even great friends... I feel strongly attached to you. ... It would take a long time to lose the feeling I have for you. . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. So we really are great friends?

PLATONOV. Why all this questioning? Drop it, dear! Of course, we are friends...

ANNA PETROVNA. Good... We are friends. But do you realize that from friendship between man and woman to love is but a single step? (Laughs.)

PLATONOV. So that’s how it is! (Laughs.) Why do you say it? Well, you and I won’t take a step toward the imps no matter what a long step we take...

ANNA PETROVNA. The imps... What a comparison! Lucky for you your wife doesn’t hear you. . .

But, really, why shouldn’t we take the step? Aren’t we human? Love is good... Why blush?

PLATONOV (looks intently at her). I see that you’re having a pleasant little joke ... or that you just enjoy talking... Come, let’s have a waltz together!

ANNA PETROVNA. You can’t dance! (Pause.) I’ve got to have it out with you... It’s about time... (Looks round.) Just try to listen to me, mon cher. You must hear me out and not try to philosophize!

PLATONOV. Come, Anna Petrovna, let’s have a dance!

ANNA PETROVNA. Let’s sit down a little farther from here... Over there! (They sit down on another form.) Only I don’t know where to begin. You’re such an awkward deceitful creature!

PLATONOV. Hadn’t I better be the one to begin?

ANNA PETROVNA. You’ll begin with such twaddle, Platonov! Well, say on then! He’s already confused! I’ll believe you . . . don’t rely on that! (She slaps Platonov on the shoulder.) Jester Misha! Well, say on... Only be brief...

PLATONOV. I’ll be brief... Here’s what I want to say to you: why? (Pause.) Upon my word, it isn’t worth it, Anna Petrovna!

ANNA PETROVNA. Why not? You’d better hear me. . . You don’t understand me. ... If you were free, without further thought I should become your wife and give My Excellency into your eternal keeping, but now . . . Well? Silence means assent, %doesn’t it? (Pause.) Listen, Platonov, if you agree, it isn’t right that you should remain silent!

PLATONOV. Let’s forget this conversation, Anna Petrovna! For Heaven’s sake, let us act as if it hadn’t taken place!

ANNA PETROVNA (shrugging). You strange man! But why?

PLATONOV. Because I respect you! I respect my respect for you so deeply that I should be sorry to part with it! My friend, Pm a free man, Pm not opposed to having a good time, Pm not opposed to forming an intimacy with a woman, Pm not even opposed to well-conducted petty intrigues, but ... to carry on a petty intrigue with you, to make you the object of my frivolous fancies, you, an intelligent, a handsome, a free woman... No! That’s too much to expect of me! Far better banish me out of your sight! To live stupidly together a month or two, then shamefacedly part company . . . it’s not to my liking!

ANNA PETROVNA. We are talking of love!

PLATONOV. Don’t I love you? You are good, intelligent and merciful . . . and I love you ... I love you desperately, fiercely! I’ll give up my life for you, if you want me to! I love you as a woman . . . human being! Surely every love need not be subjected to the well-known role which love usually plays! My love is a thousand times dearer to me than that love which now agitates your mind!

ANNA PETROVNA (rising). Go, my dear, have a good sleep! When you have had your sleep, we shall have another talk.

PLATONOV. We’d better forget this conversation... (Kisses her hand.) Let us be friends, but we shan’t sport with one another ... we shall bring the best of us in relation with one another! . . . Quite apart from this, I am married, if only a little . . . Let’s drop this talk, and let everything go on as it was before!

ANNA PETROVNA. GO, my dear, go! Married . . . But you love me? Why drag in your wife here? March! We’ll have another talk later, perhaps a couple of hours from now. ... At this moment you are suffering from an attack of deceit.

PLATONOV. I can’t deceive. (Whispers in her ear.) If I could deceive, I should have been your lover long ago. . . .

ANNA PETROVNA (sharply). Get out!

PLATONOV. You are lying, you are not angry... You only . . . (Goes into the house.)

ANNA PETROVNA. What an odd human being! (Sits down.) He himself doesn’t realize what he is saying. • . . “Every love need not be subjected to the well- known role which love usually plays. . . .” What nonsense! Sounds like the love of an author toward an authoress... (Pause.) What an unbearable man! [Why, he knows that I love him, and he knows that he loves me... He can’t breathe without me.

. . . But no! It’s necessary to make a display, a show of oneself, to do a bit of coquetting with the tongue! He carries his respect about as a musician his fiddle! He doesn’t like looking simply at things, but must start off with a preface.] And so, my dear friend, we’ll babble on like this until Judgment Day! As I haven’t taken you by favour, I shall take you by force . . . this very night! It’s time we both ended this stupid expectant situation... I’m tired of it! I’ll take by force... Who comes there? Glagolyev . . . he’s looking for me... (Enter Glagolyev /.)

SCENE XIV.

ANNA PETROVNA AND GLAGOLYEV I.

GLAGOLYEV i. How tedious! These people are saying the same things I heard years ago 5 they think the thoughts I thought in my childhood... Everything is old, nothing new... I’ll have a chat with her, then I’ll leave this place.

ANNA PETROVNA. What are you mumbling about, %Porfiry Semeonitch? Please tell me!

GLAGOLYEV i. You here? (Goes to her.) I’m cursing myself for being superfluous here. . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. Not because you’re not like us?

. . . Well, people become reconciled to roaches, and you must become reconciled to our folk here! Sit down, please, and we’ll have a chat!

GLAGOLYEV i. I was looking for you, Anna Petrovna!

I must have a talk with you about something. . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. By all means . . .

GLAGOLYEV i. The fact is ... I would like to learn the answer to my . . . letter. . . .

ANNA PETROVNA. H’m . . . What do you want from me, Porfiry Semeonitch?

GLAGOLYEV 1. D’you know, I renounce . . . any rights as a husband... I’m not out for rights! I want a friend, a clever housewife. ... I have a paradise, but there are no angels in it.

ANNA PETROVNA. I often put the question to myself, what could I do in paradise? I’m a human being, and not an angel!

GLAGOLYEV i. Can you tell what you’re going to do in paradise any more than you can tell what you’re going to do tomorrow? A good person will find work to do anywhere, whether on earth or in heaven...

ANNA PETROVNA. All this is very lovely, but would my existence with you be worth what I should receive for it? Excuse me, Porfiry Semeonitch, but your proposition seems rather a strange one to me... Why should you marry? Why should you want a friend in a skirt? It’s none of my business, of course! But as it’s gone this far, I may as well finish. If I were as old as you, and had as much money, sense and truth as you have, I should not seek anything on this earth, except the common good . . . that is to say, I should seek nothing except the gratification of my love toward my neighbour... GLAGOLYEV I. I am unable to fight for the common good of men... One needs to have ability and a strong will for that, and God did not grant them to me. I was born only to love great deeds and to achieve a heap of petty ones, good for nothing . . . only to love! Come to me!

ANNA PETROVNA. NO. Don’t speak any more of this. And don’t attach any grave significance to my re-

fusal... Vanity, my friend! If we possessed all that we loved, there would be no room for all our possessions... That means, those who refuse are not always stupid or unfriendly. (Laughs.) There’s some philosophy for you for dessert! What’s all that din about? Do you hear it? Most likely it’s Platonov raising a racket... What a character! (Enter Grekova and Triletzky.)