Deliverance (The Maverick Defense #1) (26 page)

It was like any other shift at Hank’s. I took orders, served food, and cleaned tables. The regulars watched me like I was a circus freak, but I let their judgment roll off me. I had bigger things to worry about—like the black sedan parked across the street. I couldn’t be sure if it was Barkley and Stu, but my money was on them. Lex—who had relieved Dawson an hour or so ago—didn’t seem too concerned, so I went about my duties, cleaning another table off, refusing to let the fear cripple me.

“Who are they?” Lex caught my arm as I hurried by a booth.

“Who?”

“Joy,” he warned. “This is my job. Just because I’m not glancing out the window every five minutes like you doesn’t mean I didn’t notice them the second they rolled up.”

Well, damn. “Donnie’s guys, I guess.”

“You guess? This is serious, Joy. Dawson let you come to work because he trusts you, mostly me to keep you safe, but because he trusts you, too. But he expects cooperation-”

“Expects cooperation?” I hissed bending down to Lex’s level, trying to keep our conversation out of earshot of a couple of early afternoon diners. “I’m not some mission, Lex, I’m a person. I have a life, responsibilities.”

Lex’s brow shot up, and I blew out an exasperated breath. “Fuck you, Lex. I know what you all think of me, but you only know half of the story. You don’t know what life was like when he …” I hesitated, the words stuck in my throat. “When Dawson left.”

I stared Lex straight in the eye, daring him to come at me. He’d fought my corner at the house, against Dawson, but I saw the way he looked at me—like he was worried I was pulling Dawson into something he didn’t need to be involved with.

As I straightened myself and brushed down my apron, Lex laid his hand on the edge of the table. “You’re wrong, Joy.”

I didn’t wait around to hear any more. Anger churned in my stomach and I made quick work of cleaning up a table.

“I’m taking five,” I called out to Betty as I dumped the cleaning fluid on the counter and made a beeline for the swinging door.

Reed looked up from the grill as I hurried through the kitchen to the back door. The cool air hit me and I breathed in a lungful, hoping the shock would calm down my nerves. Between Dawson and Lex’s macho bullshit, the sedan, and the constant nausea, I was barely holding on. Propped against the wall, I stared down at my trembling hands. They did that sometimes—when it’d been a while between hits.

“You don’t look so good,” a distant voice said.

I squinted, trying to get a better look, but the sun was beaming down between the walls of the alley. It was so bright I had to lift an arm to cover my eyes. “Hello?”

“You know, he’s not happy.” Stu came into view, and I froze. “What are you doing, Joy?”

“Stu, didn’t expect to see you here. Don’t you have better things to do?”

He held up his hands in a peace offering. “Hey, I’m here as a friend.”

“Right,” I scoffed. “And I suppose staking out the place is all part of the
friendly
service.”

Stu smirked and reached into his pocket pulling out a packet of Marlboro. “You want?”

I shook my head. I wanted a smoke but not the regular kind. He shrugged and slipped a smoke between his lips, but he didn’t light it. Instead, he regarded me, took it back out, and said, “You should come back.”

“I feel like there’s a warning in there somewhere or a threat,” I shot back.

“How do you think this can possibly end? You belong to Donnie, Joy. It is what it is.”

The irony of his choice of words wasn’t lost on me. In fact, it had a strange sense of poetic justice. Hadn’t I said the exact same thing to Mikey?

“I’m not going back, I can’t. Not now.” I dropped my head and closed my eyes. Something settled over me, only I wasn’t sure if it was relief or regret. I knew what my declaration meant; if Stu didn’t have orders to drag me back to Shakers, he would, at the very least, inform Donnie of my choice. A choice which would set us all on a collision course.

The course is already set. It was set the second you laid eyes on Dawson.

“Wrong answer.” Stu smiled weakly. “I’ll see you around, Joy.”

I watched Stu disappear into the light. It wasn’t until he was out of sight that I realized my heart was pounding so fiercely I couldn’t catch a breath.

“Joy, what happened?” Lex burst through the door and searched the alleyway. “Joy?”

He appeared in front of me, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. Reality had closed in around me, trapping me where I stood.

“Joy? Shit.” Lex pulled out his cell phone. “We have a problem … Yeah, yeah, no, she’s okay … Yeah, we’re coming now.”

Large hands wrapped around my wrists, and I came eye to eye with Lex. “Joy, snap the fuck out of it. We have to go. Now.”

I heard every word, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the alley.

“What do you think is wrong with her?” Mikey looked over at me again, but I continued staring ahead.

“It’s like she’s in some kind of shock. What the hell happened back there?”

Something crashed to the floor.

“Rein it in, man,” Lex said. “I was right there. She went out back to take a breather, wasn’t gone longer than five minutes.”

“But they got to her? You let them get to her?”

“I said rein it the fuck in, Dawson. You need to stand down. I told you one minute the car was there, the next it was gone.”

Laughter filled the room. Loud, crazy, maniacal laughter.

“Joy?”

“What the fuck?”

“Is she high?”

Dawson kneeled in front of me and gripped my hands in his. “Joy? Talk to me, babe. What happened at the diner?”

The laughter died down stopping somewhere between a gentle chuckle and pained sob. My chest heaved with each breath.

“Joy, look at me.” Dawson palmed my cheek and I wanted so badly to turn into his touch, but I was lost. “Babe. Look. At. Me.”

My eyes snapped to his.

“There you are. Come back to me. You have to come back to me.” His thumb smoothed across my skin willing me out of my break from reality.

“Maybe we should call Doc Anderson?”

“We’re not calling the doctor. She’s just in shock. Right, Lex?” Dawson’s grip on my wrists tightened as he twisted his body to look back at Lex, who shrugged.

“I don’t know, man. She doesn’t have a mark on her. Whatever is going on is all up here.” Lex tapped on his head.

“Fuck it.” Dawson yanked my body forward like a puppet and scooped me up in his arms. “I’m taking her to my room. Lex, watch the perimeter. Mikey, try and get a hold of Sherri. Find out if she knows anything.”

My head bobbed against Dawson’s shoulder as he carried me to his room. The sobs had stopped, replaced by silence. He kicked open a door and placed me on the bed, careful to prop me up against his pillows. I watched him. Followed him with my eyes as he moved around the room.

When he came back, he covered me with a thick navy blanket and moved around the other side of the bed, kicked off his shoes, and climbed onto the bed. His arm covered my waist and he rolled me onto my side, tucking me into the curve of his body. My heart beat rapidly.

“You have to tell me how to fix this. How to fix you,” he whispered into my hair.

I closed my eyes and let sleep claim me.

Darkness greeted me as I opened my eyes.
Where in the hell am I?
A thick blanket rested on top of me, and an arm held me in place. Dawson’s arm. I listened, careful not to move. He was asleep, his breaths even and steady. How long had I been sleeping? It was dark outside, but it hadn’t been when he brought me up here.

I could only imagine what he thought after witnessing my breakdown
. But he’s still here.
The whole thing had been like an out-of-body experience. I heard and saw everything, but I couldn’t respond. I had no control over my motor functions or my voice. Stu’s warning had been the final straw in tearing apart my carefully constructed mask. He would tell—if he hadn’t already—Donnie of my decision not to return, effectively lighting the fuse on what little time we had left before the shit well and truly hit the fan.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know what would happen before; I just didn’t want to face up to it. Because it meant pitting Dawson against Donnie, and despite Dawson’s confidence that he and Lex could handle themselves, Donnie DeLuca wasn’t just anybody. He was the devil.

“What time is it?” Dawson’s breath brushed against my shoulder causing my whole body to shudder.

“Late. I can’t see the clock,” I replied, and Dawson’s hand clamped around my waist.

“You’re, you’re okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“What was that back there? You scared the shit out of us. Mikey almost had Doc Anderson come over and check you out.”

“I think that was me realizing some things.”

Dawson rolled me in his arms until we were face to face. “What things?” His nose gently rubbed against mine, coaxing the truth from me.

I smiled, but it wasn’t out of happiness or relief. No, this smile was full of regret and sadness and heartache. Because after I said the words, nothing would ever be the same again.

I closed my eyes and whispered, “You’re going to war with Donnie, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

“J
oy. Dawson.” Mikey’s loud voice traveled up the stairs, and if we weren’t already awake, he made sure we were now. “Food,” he bellowed. On cue, my stomach rumbled and Joy looked up at me. I couldn’t deny it felt fucking good to have her in my arms. My dick agreed, stirring in my jeans, but the look of worry in Joy’s eyes doused the fire.

“Don’t worry.” I tried to reassure her. While I didn’t doubt our ability to keep Joy safe and take Donnie down, we needed to come up with a fucking plan and fast. “It will all work out.”

She nodded, unconvinced, as she chewed on her bottom lip. Of course, it drew attention to her full lips, and all I could think about was kissing her. It had almost killed me to withhold from kissing her again—showing Joy how I really felt. But jealousy was a cruel bitch, and I didn’t want to taste her again until she was mine. All mine.

Screw it
. My mouth captured hers, and her lips parted with a soft moan; she tasted like heaven as my tongue explored deeper. I wound her hair around my hand to hold her in place. I felt like a horny teenager, making out in my room while Mom thought we were studying. It was the one thing I never did with Joy. Study.