Deliver Me (36 page)

“That’s the story of
my life,” Monica said.

“What is?”

“Competition. I’m
stuck in the middle of two geniuses. I told you about my brother, Phillip, who
I spent my entire life trying to live up to. Then my little sister Ashley came
out of the womb playing
Beethoven’s Fifth
Symphony
.
 
She’s at Julliard now, probably teaching
some of the teachers.” A smile touched the edges of her mouth.

“I tried to measure
up”—she hunched her shoulders in helpless defeat— “but what can you
do?”

“My brothers and I
are always trying to one up each other, but it’s all in fun.”

“Wish I could say
the same,” she said with a dry laugh. “It went far beyond just Phillip and
Ashley, though. The competitiveness seeped into every part of my life, and just
as you said, I would crumble under the pressure of working beside someone I
knew was better than me.

“The worst instance
happened back in St. Louis, at my old job.”

Eli dropped his club
and walked over to her, taking her hand. He sensed the unease in her voice, but
he had to ask, “What happened?”

She looked down at
their clasped hands and gave him another of those sweet, but sad smiles. “It
was during my second year of residency. A new doctor started in the ER. He was
a trauma surgeon who wanted to change to emergency medicine, so he was put on a
residency rotation. Of course, he blew all of the other residents out of the
water.

“I studied my butt
off that year. Went so far as to practice my incisions and suturing on raw
chickens. I was determined to win even more accolades than Dr. Festerling. But
my plan backfired.”

She was no longer
looking at him, but instead focused on something over his shoulder.

“A six-year-old came
in with an obstructed airway. Something so simple,” she said with a derisive
laugh. “But, you see, the toughest part of my entire residency was my peds
rotation. I had a hard time intubating small children. The narrower breathing
passage,” she explained, taking a deep swallow. Eli could tell this was hard
for her, but he would let her continue. She obviously needed to talk through
the ordeal. He squeezed her hand, a silent message of encouragement.

“I was doing really
well until Dr. Festerling invaded the trauma. As soon as he walked into the
room, I froze.”

“Did the child die?”
Eli asked, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand.

Monica shook her
head. After another deep breath, she said, “Festerling stepped in and saved the
day. I was devastated. I contemplated quitting.”

“Oh, Monica,” Eli grabbed
her shoulders and brought her to his chest, cradling her head against him.

“Someone who would
put some stupid competitive streak over the life of a child should not practice
medicine.”

“It was a mistake.”

“Would you want to
be the one to explain it to that child’s mother if he would have died?” She
shook her head against his chest. “It’s this drive to be perfect. Do you know
every decision I’ve ever made in life has been to prove that I’m better. I’ve
got to get over this, Eli. No one is perfect.”

“You’ll get no
argument from me there. I’ve told you more than once that there are other
capable people on the planet. You do not have to do it all.”

She looked up at
him, tears shimmering in her brown eyes.

“You’ve done wonders
for me, do you know that? I can guarantee if I didn’t have you in my life these
past weeks I would have put on this entire banquet by myself. I would not have
even bothered to set up subcommittees.”

Eli pulled her
tighter against him and bent down to kiss the tip of her nose. “You really need
to learn to relax, woman.”

“I’m sure there are
a number of ways you can teach me how to do that,” she murmured.

“Baby, I’m ready and
willing. Right now.”

A couple passed them
on the golf course, giving them the evil eye. Probably because they had hogged
this hole for the last twenty minutes.

“Can we please get
out of here?” Eli whispered into her ear.

“Yes,” came Monica’s
husky reply.

“Thank God. Finally.”

“Finally?” she
laughed. “Must I remind you that you are the one who brought me here? You wanted
me to learn your second favorite hobby, remember?”

“Forget my second
favorite hobby.”

Eli made quick work
of returning the rented clubs. He grabbed Monica by the hand and nearly dragged
her to the parking lot like a caveman hauling in his day’s catch. He helped her
into the SUV and kissed her deeply as he drew the seatbelt across her torso and
buckled her in.

“It’s time for me to
show you how my number one hobby earned its prestigious place on the list.”

Jeffrey tried, but
could not manage to lower his hand from the thin pane of Plexiglas separating
him from his newborn daughter. He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at
her. One thing he did know, he could stay in this exact spot, doing this exact
thing, for the rest of his life.

Another tear slid
down his cheek. He had stopped trying to hide them hours ago. He didn’t care
who saw him, he was more than proud to say his daughter brought tears to her
father’s eyes.

She punched her tiny
fist in the air, and Jeffrey’s heart lurched. He reached out for her, his palm
coming up with hard plastic.

She was so fragile,
so incredibly delicate. Just the thought of anything happening to her caused
his chest to grow uncomfortably tight. His breath hitched at the knowledge that
he was now responsible for the tiny human being lying on the other side of the
glass. He held her precious life in his hands.

The awesomeness of
his new responsibility crashed through him like a three-ton boulder.

One of the pediatric
nurses walked up to the incubator, opened it and gently pulled his daughter
out. She turned to Jeffrey and mouthed, “Feeding time.”

He nodded. He didn’t
want her to go, but his baby had to eat.

“Do you want to feed
her?” The nurse pronounced each word slowly so he could read her lips.

“Can I?” he mouthed
back.

The nurse motioned
with her head. Jeffrey waited while she buzzed him into the electronically
locked double doors.

“You’ll need to
scrub and put on a gown before you can come any further,” the nurse explained
after he had taken a couple of steps into the nursery. It had the faint scent
of talcum powder and that special newborn baby smell.

Taking one of the
plastic packages from the shelf in the wash area, he ripped it open and used
the pre-soaped pad to scrub his fingers and forearms. Watching all those
episodes of
ER
had paid off. He could
scrub down with the best of them.

The nurse waited
next to a white wicker rocking chair covered with a blue and yellow seat
cushion. She motioned him over, and once he was seated, tenderly placed his
daughter in the cradle of his arms.

The overwhelming
rush of emotion was enough to choke on.

Jeffrey accepted the
small bottle from the nurse and ever so gently worked the rubber nipple into
his baby girl’s mouth.

“You’re already a
pro,” the nurse commented with a smile. “No one would believe this was your
first baby.”

“She’s been a long
time coming,” Jeffrey replied.

“Does she have a
name yet?”

He shook his head. “Not
yet. Not until her mother wakes up.”

They had tossed
around a few names years ago, but he didn’t know what the trendy name was
nowadays. Besides, he couldn’t name their baby without Amanda’s knowledge.

“Don’t worry,” the
nurse said, placing her hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Your
wife is going to pull through.”

The knot that had
already formed the moment he took his daughter into his arms tripled in size.
Jeffrey tried to swallow, but failed.

Amanda had to wake
up.
Had
to. He could not fathom
himself and his daughter going through life without her.

All the future
memories he was so anticipating—going to recitals, kissing scraped knees,
his daughter dancing with her feet on top of his—had Amanda right there
at his side. To think of raising this baby without her...

“Think you can
handle burping her?” The nurse asked as his daughter sucked the last of the
contents of her bottle. She had a healthy appetite. It had come from his side
of the family.

“Actually, I think I’ll
let you show me how it’s done,” Jeffrey said. Holding a bottle as he rocked
back and forth was one thing. Burping a baby was an entirely different ball
game.

“It’s not hard. Put
that blanket over your lap.” Jeffrey did as instructed. “Now,” the nurse
continued, “I’m going to lay her across your lap. Just rub her back gently and
wait for her to burp.”

The baby made a
sound worthy of a drunken sailor in a bar.

“That was a good
one,” the nurse laughed. “We won’t have to worry about a fussy baby when it
comes to this little one.”

“Mr. Daniels?”
Another nurse came from the other side of the nursery. “I just got a call from
recovery. Your wife just woke up.”

***

Deep down, in a far
off corner of Monica’s mind, something told her more civilized human beings
would have waited until they were in a comfortable bed.

Tonight, no one
would accuse neither she nor Eli of being civilized. Tonight, they were down
right primitive.

Monica brought her
legs up and planted her feet more firmly on the coffee table. Her glazed over
eyes barely registered the chandelier high above them as her head swam from the
mind-numbing pleasure ricocheting throughout her body.

Eli buried his face
against her neck, and she gripped his bare backside and pulled him tighter
against her. They were as close as two people could possibly be, fused almost
into one. He quickened his already frantic pace and Monica felt herself
tiptoeing the edges of sanity. She was on the verge of exploding, each fevered
thrust bringing her closer to the brink.

Eli crashed into her
again and her body ignited.

Her cries echoed off
the cavernous walls and twenty-foot ceilings. She clenched the solid muscles of
his back and wrapped her legs around him, cradling his slick body against her.

They lay in the
middle of the living room, their labored breathing the only sound in the empty
house.

“That was nice,”
Monica panted between breaths.

Eli’s head reared
back. “Nice? Woman, you better say that was the best sex you ever had.”

“Or what?” Monica
asked. She ran her hands up and down his sweat slicked back.

His dark eyebrows
arched mischievously. “Or...I’m going to make you go through it again,” he
finished, the beginnings of a sexy smile curling the edges of his mouth.

Monica returned his
grin. Her heated body burned even more at the knowing gleam in his eye.

“In that case, it
bored me to tears.”

“It did, did it?
Well,” he pushed himself off the table, reached down and scooped her into his
arms. “It looks as if I’ll have to try again. One way or another, I’m going to
make you admit this is the best any man has ever given it to you.”

He carried her up
the stairs, and proceeded to wring a confession from her after all.

***

Hours later, the
doorbell’s whimsical chiming roused Monica from her pleasant daydreaming. She
groaned and rolled over. It felt too good lying amongst the plush linens. She
could hardly move, much less get out of bed. But, darn it, Eli was still in the
shower.

Monica managed to
lift herself from the cottony cocoon of pillows. She looked around for a robe,
but didn’t see one.

The bell sounded
again. Monica slipped into a pair of scrubs Eli had thrown over a chair. She picked
up a t-shirt from atop his dresser and pulled it over her head.

She bounded down the
stairs with a satisfied smile. The delicious ache coursing through her body was
a stark reminder of her activities over the last two hours. But now she was
ravenous, and her mouth watered at the thought of diving into the pizza Eli had
ordered.

A rapid series of
rings resounded from the doorbell.

“I’m coming,” Monica
called out. She stopped in the living room on the way to the door and pulled a
twenty from her purse.

She pushed a wayward
lock of hair from her eyes and opened the door.

Monica froze.

“Who are you?” A
woman she had never seen before stood just outside the threshold. She was six
feet if she was an inch tall, and glamorous enough to be on a New York runway. “Where
is Elijah?”