Deliver Me From Evil (4 page)

The other amazing thing was that there was a Letterland border all the way round the top of the room, like a frieze. I thought this was the coolest thing ever. The woman obviously liked children and had their best interests at heart.

But best of all were Eunice’s cats. Big, furry, beautiful cats. Not just a couple, but five, all with amazing names. Eunice introduced me to Tommy, an old black and white, stiff with arthritis and blind; then there was Tiger, a real moggy, silver mackerel in colour with a white chest; then, Poppy, who was similar to Tiger, Greypaws, who was, well, grey all over and Bobo, again like Tiger, only brown.

I was in heaven, not only fascinated by the family of cats but also by the lovebirds and a mini parrot in a cage in Eunice’s long garden. I stared at the colourful birds, amazed that anyone could keep them as pets in their back garden.

During that first visit I met the two adopted girls who were living with Eunice already. Charlotte was about eighteen months older than me and had been with her since birth. Eunice was very affectionate towards Charlotte, who seemed like a real mummy’s girl. She was a chunky child, with freckles and narrow eyes. Her ears stuck out through her mousey hair. I didn’t particularly take to her and could see straight away that she was quite bossy. Eunice said to her, ‘Charlotte, this is Alloma. Can you be nice to her and show her your toys?’ Charlotte didn’t look very friendly, but took me through the little door into the play area and showed me her dolls.

After I’d looked at the toys with Charlotte, I saw Sarah. She was six months younger than me and very skinny with lank dark hair. She hovered timidly at the top of the stairs, looking very uncertain of herself and asked me in a small voice if I would like to go up and see her room. I thought it strange that she didn’t come down and when I didn’t go up straight away she went back into her room and didn’t come out again. Eunice never called her down or spoke to her. I saw Eunice being a mum to Charlotte that evening, but not to Sarah, who just hid in the background, keeping out of the way.

When dinner was served that first Sunday we sat round the table like a proper family. Eunice had made a nut roast, which, looking back, was an odd choice. I had envisaged a big joint of meat, but, no, it was nuts. It was all bitty and pulpy and I didn’t like it much, but there were roasted vegetables, gravy and a pudding. Sarah was still hiding in her room and I did wonder briefly why Eunice didn’t go and fetch her. But I was hungry and there was loads of food, so we all tucked in together and I forgot about the little girl left upstairs on her own. It felt good – actually really exciting – to sit at a big, round table, eating a meal in a civilized way, with my mother, Charlotte and Eunice, the grown-ups chatting away.

After dinner, we were allowed to play for a while with the toys and watch a video. Eunice even did some washing in her machine for my mum. Then after that I had a hot bath with the girls. I did feel a bit shy as I didn’t know the other girls at all, but it did seem quite a natural thing to do, if a little embarrassing. Then we were dressed in clean pyjamas and just as I was saying goodbye to the cats, feeling warm and clean with a nice full tummy, Eunice asked me if I’d like to come again. I blurted out ‘Yes’ before I could even think about it. Of course I would, what with the toys, the food and the cats. It would be wonderful.

After that first visit we were invited over to Eunice’s house a couple more times for dinner. The visits ran along similar lines to the first one, in that I’d get to play with the toys and the cats, we’d have dinner at the table and a hot bath, and then I’d be taken home, well fed and wearing clean pyjamas. I was about six and a half when the visits became a bit more regular. Then I was asked if I’d like to stay the night. Just me. I felt very privileged.

I was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, stroking Tommy the cat, who was stretched out beside me, purring loudly, when Eunice came in and stood next to me. I guess she’d been watching me for a moment or two, but I had been totally engrossed in Tommy as I loved the feel of his fur running through my little fingers.

‘You like Tommy?’ said Eunice suddenly.

I looked up and nodded.

‘He can be your special cat when you come and visit, if you like.’

I suddenly realized she was watching me intently.

‘I’ll get some cat biscuits so you can feed him, too. Would you like that?’

Would I like that? ‘Yes, yes, I would,’ I said, nodding vigorously and smiling. I couldn’t believe I would have my own animal to feed and look after.

‘Good then, that’s settled.’

Eunice turned and strode across the room, while I went back to stroking Tommy. My very own cat. This was something I’d dreamed about.

During another visit, I was devotedly feeding Tommy with the cat biscuits Eunice had bought me when she came over and watched me carefully for a moment before saying, ‘Charlotte and Sarah don’t go to school like you, you know? I teach them here, at home.’

I stopped feeding Tommy and looked up at her. Eunice bent over and stroked the cat while I picked up another cat biscuit and fed it to him.

‘Would you like that, too?’

I paused from tending Tommy and thought about it for a moment. I loved school. I liked the toys, the writing, the teachers, the school dinners. It was good to get away from the house, and run outside in the playground, too. But when I looked around at the Letterland border and all those toys in the special little playroom it was tempting. Suddenly, the idea of being taught here, with lessons round the dining-room table, toys and videos to play with, hot baths and food to eat, seemed very cosy indeed. It began to sound like a good idea and Charlotte and Sarah appeared to like it.

‘I dunno,’ I said. ‘Maybe.’

‘Well, you think about it,’ said Eunice brightly, ‘you might like it well enough.’

I did start thinking about it and even began to feel a bit jealous of both Charlotte and Sarah. School wasn’t as interesting now as it used to be when compared to the excitement of being at Eunice’s house all day.

At this time, I loved to watch the Letterland video at Eunice’s and copy down the letters carefully in my spidery, childish hand. One day at the dining-room table I made up a ‘Clever Cat’ Café (Clever Cat being ‘C’), drawing pictures and cutting things out to stick on cardboard, all of which I loved doing. I got a gold star sticker afterwards from Eunice – the first I’d ever got for anything at all, so it meant the world to me. Plus, I got to watch a video as a reward, something I’d never get to do at home: after all, we had no video and the TV was largely off-limits.

Over a period of about a year, from when I was six and a half to seven and a half, I’d visit Eunice more regularly. Over that time, I obviously got to know the two adopted girls better, as well as Eunice’s daughter Judith. I even met her first ex-husband, father of her own children. Eunice had been married and divorced for a second time by then, yet her first husband still seemed to worship her, calling her ‘my pet’, despite her being quite offhand with him. Later, I would come to understand that she treated him terribly and would finally succeed in driving him away, as she had already done with husband number two.

At this time, while I was being slowly initiated into her household regime as a new member of the fold, her ex was a welcome occasional presence. He would bring us bags of reduced-price cakes from Asda – crispy scones and other treats – and he even bought me a hula hoop once from Toys ‘R’ Us. He was devoted to his dog, so I guess he and Eunice had a shared interest in animals. Or maybe her interest in him was based purely on his usefulness, almost as if he were another one of her household pets.

After a while, a pattern to my visits emerged: I would spend the week in Cheltenham with my family, then be picked up by Eunice in her Volvo and driven over to Tewkesbury for the weekend. As well as Charlotte and Sarah there would sometimes be a boy called Thomas staying with Eunice. He was a few years younger than me.

I now know from the evidence gathered for the court case that Eunice groomed’ my mum. She bribed her with presents, offers of washing and cooking and the promise of a good life for her daughter, so that she would entrust me to Eunice’s care. In fact, it came out in court that Eunice made a private arrangement with my mum after she had been de-registered by Gloucestershire Social Services as an official foster carer as they felt she already had enough children in her care. My parents had no idea that Eunice was no longer an ‘official’ carer and later I would come to understand how clever and devious she was when it came to playing officials off against each other. Although she had adopted Charlotte and Sarah and therefore wouldn’t be entitled to extra money for them, she would receive a substantial weekly allowance for children she fostered. I guess Eunice wanted to increase the number of children in her care, and with it her income, as much as she possibly could. So she had been working on my parents, especially my mum, who had seen that I was well cared for and happy when I stayed with her.

Then one day my parents called me into the living room. I could see they looked very worried.

‘We’ve got something to tell you,’ said my dad sombrely.

I wondered for a moment if Tommy had run away or died; I worried about him when I was away from him. I looked at Mum, who was looking very sad, lying on the sofa, and at Dad, who was clearly struggling to be brave. It must be bad, whatever it was.

‘You know you like going to Eunice’s for the weekend? Well—’ my dad paused and looked at the floor, ‘you’ll be living there from now on.’

I remember feeling a bit scared. I liked going to Eunice’s, but being there all the time, well, I wasn’t sure if I liked that idea.

‘You like it there, don’t you?’ Dad said.

I thought of Tommy and the food and the other girls. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, it’ll be like going on holiday’ said Dad, trying to smooth things over. ‘You know your mum’s not been very well, so it’s for the best.’

Mum was clearly crying now so I crawled over to her and she put her arms around me. I felt sad and scared because I loved my mum, but I also felt a twinge of excitement if I am totally honest. As the idea settled in my mind I thought it might be fun to get away for a while, and anyway, I didn’t feel as if I had any choice in the matter, so I had to go along with it.

‘It’s all right, Mum, I’ll be fine.’

Yeah, love, I’m sure you will,’ said Mum, through her tears.

I had no reason to think at that point that it wouldn’t be the best thing in the world: Mum needed a break because she was ill again. Anyway, I thought, it wouldn’t be for long.

CHAPTER 5:

So by the time I was seven and a half I had begun to live full-time at 24 George Dowty Drive and the pattern of my life had completely reversed. I would visit my parents for an occasional weekend or evening, and Eunices house was now to be called ‘home’.

Moving to Eunice’s full-time meant I had to change schools. I hadn’t made a best friend in my old school, so it wasn’t really a big wrench. By sheer coincidence it was another bottle green, grey and white uniform. When I went to the new school they put me in Reception, I think because I was quite small, but also because I was probably quite behind educationally having missed a lot of school. However, I soon caught up and was even top of the class, so they moved me up a year. There were loads of toys in the classroom and I met some nice children. However, I still didn’t really make friends easily; I don’t think I knew how to. Plus, part of me was hankering after being taught at home, like Charlotte and Sarah were, as Eunice had made it sound so much more exciting than going to an ordinary school like everyone else.

I would now be taken to school by Eunice’s daughter Judith, who was about twenty-eight at this time, with a very masculine-looking face, dark hair and eyebrows and a bit of a moustache. She was tall and strong and wore mostly baggy T-shirts and jeans. She worked in a joinery as a secretary and would drop me off at school before cycling on to work I’d hold on to her bike’s handlebars and trot alongside her while she cycled far too fast for my short legs. I’d get out of breath and would struggle to keep up. We must have looked bizarre. She was often brusque and would snap at me to ‘Hurry up’, which I didn’t like.

Judith didn’t have a boyfriend and was still living at home, which I now think was rather odd at her age. I think Judith was pretty much brainwashed by Eunice and made to feel she could not leave home and be an independent woman. With hindsight, I think Judith was having some kind of affair but it was all very furtive and I don’t think Eunice ever knew about it. Anyway, Judith’s role at home soon became clear to me – she was there to help keep the children in line.