Defying Dorian: Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (43 page)

I
had
no reason to doubt Andrew’s report to me. The simple fact was Amanda and Melissa had made no secret about flirting with me over the years. But I had enough options in my life to not seek the approval of married women. From my perspective, there weren’t any mixed messages being sent.

And further, if what he claimed was true, namely that they’d done something to set Fiona back in the competition on purpose, well, that would have to be dealt with. Should any evidence come to light proving it, it would be simple for me handle it. I could fire them on the spot. Without sufficient proof though, I couldn't do much of anything and neither could Fiona.

But even if I could, was that helping her? Putting my protective instinct, not to mention the needs of my dick, aside for a moment, my primary concern was being able to rely on Fiona in the new position. Someone in it had to be firm and at times, ruthless. What shenanigans might have happened in the lab would pale in comparison to staring down multi-billion dollar decisions about the future of the company. The time to shift Fiona's perspective was at hand, whether she was ready or not.

Just then, there was knock at the door.

“It’s open…”

As the door cracked ajar, Holly poked her head inside. “Fiona’s here. Are you ready to see her now?”

I nodded. “Yes, send her in, Holly. Thanks.”

With that, she smiled and stepped to one side as Fiona passed by her. Wordless, I rose from seat and gestured for her to come sit down across from me. She walked towards me, and as she did, she reached up and pulled her hair behind her ears.

“Which one?” she said, as she pointed at the two chairs in front of my desk.

“Choose,” I said with a shrug. Honest to God, I believe she was the first person who ever asked me that. I remained standing as she picked one of the chairs. Just as she began to sit, I spoke.

“Nope. Wrong one.”

Fiona froze in place, bracing herself above the seat as she clutched the arms with her hands. With her butt suspended a good six inches above the seat, she looked up at me.

“Really?”

I shook my head back and forth as I looked at her for a moment or two.

“Yes,” I said with a wink.

Fiona shook her head as she slid into her seat. When she did, a smile crept to the corner of her mouth. I countered with a smirk of my own as I sat down across from her. Fun and games aside, we had some serious issues to discuss. I wasted no time in getting right to it.

Fiona sat with her hands folded in her lap, half-covered beneath her sleeves as always. I drew my eyes up from them, meeting hers after a moment or two. I expected there was every chance she’d look away but she didn’t. Instead, she held my gaze as I began to speak.

“Fiona, I suppose you know why I’ve asked you here?”

She nodded. “I have an idea, yes.”

“You’ve disappointed me.”

In that moment, she broke eye contact from me and looked towards her lap.

“I know,” she said in a soft voice, not much above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Fiona. I…”

She interrupted me and added, “I do it all the time. Apologizing. It’s a habit, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I know. You told me that already. Look, don’t interrupt me,” I said, as I cocked my head to one side. I thinned my lips at her. “Say you’re sorry one more time.”

She looked up at me. Frustration flashed to her face. Frankly, I was glad to see a bit of anger from her.

“Listen, I know you’re disappointed with me for falling behind in the competition. I’m assuming that’s why you’ve called me to your office.”

“Partly, yes that’s true. Do you know the other reason?”

She shook her head but didn’t respond. I didn’t wait to see if she’d try and guess.

“Was the experiment failure your fault, Fiona?”

As I finished my question, she looked at me once again and without a moment’s hesitation, she answered.

“Yes.”

“Are you telling me the truth?”

She nodded her head with a deliberate motion. “As far as I know it… yes.”

I wrinkled my brow. In the short amount of time she’d worked here, nothing suggested she’d make a mistake like the one which put her behind. Rather, a couple of possibilities occurred to me as I considered what to say next.

One was she actually believed she did it, which I doubted, or the other was she didn’t want to make accusations she couldn’t prove against whoever might have done it. In either case, she was taking full responsibility for it, which I respected. It would be easy for her to be afraid in this situation and point fingers, considering everything she stood to lose.

I pursed my lips for a moment before continuing. “Do you enjoy working here, Fiona?”

She shrugged. “I did.”

“What do you mean by that?”

As I posed my question, I noticed her make a subtle move towards her wrist. With a gentle motion, she tugged her charm bracelet out from beneath the sleeve and began to caress the stones as she had before. I remained silent for a few moments until at last, she forced a hard swallow down her throat.

“May I… speak freely?”

I leaned back in my chair. “Please.”

“I haven’t done anything to deserve the way I’m being treated by…”

I tilted my chin up as she hesitated. “Who’s treating you poorly, Fiona?”

She ignored my question. “Look, Gabe, I’m not blaming you for any of this, okay? I know you can’t help the effect you have.”

“The effect I have?”

“Sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

“
Quit
apologizing, Fiona. Say what you mean. And please elaborate on ‘the effect I have’ while you're at it.”

She deflected my question once more. Instead, she posed on of her own. “Gabe, why am I the only one who’s here in your office?”

“What do you mean? Who else should be here? No one else had a huge setback in the lab. If they had, they’d be here as well.”

“Okay,” she said, as she nodded her head.

I’m not an idiot. No doubt she probably thinks I only have one reason for wanting to see her alone in my office. But she was getting distracted here. Her work and the success of my project were being affected and that’s not something I had any interest in continuing. I had to put a stop to it before it got any worse. I leaned forward and crossed my hands on my desk.

“You need to stand up for yourself in this world, Fiona. Don’t let people push you around, because if they think they can, they will. Is that how you want to live?”

“Gabe, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Your goddamn cultures, Fiona. Do you expect me to believe that was your fault?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well let me put this another way. Do you want to win this competition or not?”

“Of course I do, more than anything. I need the money and…”

Just then, she tucked her bracelet beneath her sleeve once again and shook her head.

“And what?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, it’s not nothing.” I snapped. “If it's on your mind, you need to just say it. What is it?”

“Well, it’s not just the money. I want to work with you. I think you’re brilliant. That’s all.”

Her flattery caught me by surprise. To my knowledge, it was the first time she’d ever said something nice to me. Even so, she had to understand what I was trying to tell her. I allowed her compliment to go unacknowledged, hoping it would focus her attention.

“You need to get some backbone, Fiona. This position. It’s gonna require some guts, some balls, okay?”

She nodded. My challenge flushed her. Crimson streaks spread across her chest.

“Are you angry with me, Fiona?”

“A little, yes.”

“Good,” I replied. Sensing I had her full attention, I intended to make my point clear. “You know, I’ve heard nothing but good things about the quality of your work.”

“Thank you. I wish everyone felt the same way.”

“Fiona, life is filled with disappointment. Most of the time that comes in the form of other people. Trust me, you aren’t alone when it comes to being let down when it matters most. I’ll make this real simple for you. Can you catch up? Yes or no?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Good. That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”

As I finished speaking, her face brightened a bit. I realized she’d been through a lot in her young life but she’d made it this far and in the process beaten out people ten years older than her. She had a ton of potential to not only be a great scientist, but a hell of a woman. Figuring she’d had enough of a scolding for the moment, I shifted gears a bit.

“I’ve… missed not being around the lab much. Seeing your smiling face. You look pretty today.”

Fiona’s eyes snapped to mine. She held them there for an instant before swallowing and repositioning a wayward wisp of hair behind her ear.

Smirking, I nodded at her. “Still struggling with the whole compliment thing I see?”

She chewed her lip for a moment before she replied. “Yes, I’m sorr…”

I glared at her, as she stopped herself mid-sentence.

A
s I made
my way back down to the lab, I reflected on what Gabe said and the way he challenged me. On an intellectual level, I understood what he meant, but
knowing
and
doing
are two different things.

My immediate reaction to our discussion was twofold.

The first of these was that it was easy for someone like him to ‘have balls’ as he put it. He had the world at his beck and call, bending it to his will. Gabe was accustomed to people doing whatever he asked of them, without question. The type of abrasive persona he suggested I assume was about as foreign to me as a polar bear at the equator. Of course as I considered it, this notion was made even worse since the two things I feared most, even more than death itself, were public speaking and confrontation.

Yet, following Gabe’s suggestion to its logical conclusion, I’d have no alternative but to face them. I took measured steps to the elevator from his office, contemplating my selection of ever-dwindling options in the process. After the doors closed, the elevator glided down the shaft, and as it did, I swallowed and feared for the worst.

As it reached the lab floor and the doors opened, the elevator chimed, an annoying reminder of the task ahead. Stepping out, my mind flooded with horrific scenarios. In fact, the closer I got to the lab, the more certain I became I absolutely could not do as he’d suggested. My stomach fluttered and the skin on my fingers went clammy as I reached for the door handle.

I took one last inhale as I wrapped my shaky digits around it.

Like it or not, I’d have to find a way to play their game. This possible promotion and the money coming with it were too much for me to risk losing. And besides, there was still the tiniest of chances they hadn’t tampered with my cultures. Disregarding my instincts, I put Gabe’s advice aside for the time being.

There was no sense making waves. Not when I was this close to the finish line.

I glanced around as I entered the lab and in an effort to make my reappearance there as inconspicuous as possible, I walked straight towards my workstation, head down and eyes tracing a few inches ahead of my feet.

“Fiona…” I heard Melissa whisper as I passed by them. “Wait.”

I didn’t stop.

Ignoring her, I kept moving until I reached my workstation. Even so, I had no doubt they’d be right behind me, forked tongues lashing at me with innuendo. Almost before I realized it, they stood at the far end of my workstation, opposite one another, staring me down like a hawk homes in on a hapless field mouse.

“What did Gabe want?” Amanda said.

“Yeah,” Melissa began, adding to Amanda’s intrusiveness. “You were gone for over an hour. What happened?”

“What do you mean?” I replied, trying to diffuse the intrusive nature of their comments. “Nothing.”

Melissa scoffed. “Fiona, I can count on one hand the number of times Amanda and I have been summoned to Gabe’s office in all the years we’ve worked here.”

Bending her arm at the elbow, she raised her hand and touched her thumb and index finger together, forming a zero. And just like that, they were right back in high school mode, assuming the worst about Gabe and me.

In that moment, I realized telling them the truth in this situation would be all but impossible. Rather, I had to say something that would make them happy or, I’d been reprimanded and at the same time discourage them from trying anything else to set me back in the meantime. But before I could utter a single syllable, Melissa continued her not-so-subtle accusations.

“Look at you, Fiona. You’re blushing!”

“Yeah,” Amanda said with eagerness in her tone. “Something must have happened. You’re turning bright red.”

Melissa leaned over the edge of my workstation, locking her eyes on me like a beat detective stares down a petty thief. “Come on, Fiona. You can tell us.”

I frowned at them. “There’s nothing…” I began as I forced a swallow down my throat. “… to tell.”

Amanda pointed at me. “You’re lying right now. What’s the big deal, Fiona?”

“Yeah,” Melissa said as she began to rub her hands together. “Spill it. What happened? Did he kiss you?”

“What?” I replied, as I grew increasingly alarmed at the direction their questions headed. “Kiss me? No. What makes you say that?”

Amanda paused for a moment and leaned away from me. Her gaze traveled up and down my face as she studied me. Just then, her eyes widened and she angled her upper body toward Melissa as she whispered something to her. Afterward, the two looked towards one another and began to snicker. In spite of my efforts to downplay it, this couldn’t have gone much worse. However, before long, their laughter simmered down. It was then I found out how much worse it would get.

Separating from one another, they circled around my workstation, closing in on either side of me. My skin prickled as they hovered nearby. I felt like shutting my eyes, covering my ears and just screaming for them to go away and leave me alone. I hadn’t done anything to them other than receive the attention from Gabe they so desperately craved. Was it my fault they hated their husbands and lusted after their boss as a way of compensating or it? After all, I wasn’t responsible for the way he was acting towards me.

They hovered close in silence, taking turns looking at one another as if they were trying to decide who would go first. As the seconds ticked by with growing awkwardness, I decided I was angry with them whether or not they’d done anything to my experiment. Frankly, that didn’t even matter anymore. This wasn’t how professional people ought to behave. But just then, at the instant where I’d thought they couldn’t stoop any further... they did.

“Fiona?” Amanda said in a voice not much louder than a whisper. “Did you sleep with him?”

Melissa gasped.

Without a word, I backed away from them in complete disgust. With my hands in the air, I held them in a position of mock surrender as I stepped backward. For a moment or so, I wasn’t sure how I ought to respond.

“Amanda,” I said, as I fought the urge to slap her. “I’m not even going to dignify that accusation with a response. Now I’ve told you both, repeatedly, there is nothing going on between Gabe and me. And further, even if there were, it’s not the business of either of you. I don’t spend my time meddling in your personal life. Please extend me the same courtesy.”

No sooner had I finished what I thought was a well-reasoned plea, than they leaned across my workstation and high-fived one another as if I never said a word.

“Don’t worry Fiona, honey. If you wanna bang Gabe, more power to you.”

Wasn’t this treatment at the hands of mean girls supposed to be behind me now? These women were easily ten years older than me. So much for my notion of being surrounded by people like me. If anything, they took out their own repressed angst on me, the new girl.

When was this ever going to end?

* * *

N
earing a red light
, I pressed my foot against the brake. The high-pitched whistle of brake pads wearing thin reminded me of yet another thing that new promotion would fix, if only I could keep it together long enough.

The whole drive home, I fought the urge. I wanted to stay strong like I always did when things got tough. After all, I was the one everyone ran to when they had problems. Yet here I was again, left to face my problems alone, as usual.

At least I had my grandmother. She’d listen. But thinking of her only made things worse in that moment. As much as I tried to block out the inevitable, it was a matter of time until she… Just then, the first drop fell against the steering wheel with a soft
splat
. I reached down and smeared my tear into it, afterward drawing my hand up to my cheeks and doing the same against my skin.

As I did, I happened to glance to my left.

Across from me was another car, filled with a family of five. It was like my own… Parents, two boys and little girl. As I looked around at them, my gaze came upon the girl. She’d been watching me cry. My chest flushed as our eyes locked for an instant before I turned my attention back to the road ahead. As the light changed from red to green, I gripped both hands with the steering wheel and pressed the accelerator pedal.

Through a sniffle, I continued to wipe at my eyelids. If my grandmother noticed any signs of my tears, she’d be all over me with questions.

But the truth was… I missed my family. And it still hurt. Even all these years later.

About fifteen minutes later, I arrived home and entered the apartment.

“Grandmother, I’m home…”

I listened for a moment or two to see if she was awake. Hearing nothing, I decided to go ahead and get dinner ready before waking her. So far, I hadn’t been put into a position where I needed to get her a nurse during the day. At some point I would though.

The only question was when.

Soon enough, I finished preparing our food and after waking her and making sure she took her medication, we sat in silence for a few minutes watching a bit of television as we ate.

“You’re awfully quiet this evening, Fiona. Is everything all right?”

Stretched out in the recliner, I rolled my head to one side as I looked at her.

“Yes. Why?”

My grandmother set her plate down on her bed. “Well, since you started your new job, you’ve had something to tell me about every single day. And now, all of a sudden… nothing?”

I swallowed and turned away from her, looking at the television once more. “I don’t want to worry you.”

“Well, when you say something like that, it makes me worry even more. Fiona, you know you can tell me anything my dear. What’s happened? Did something go wrong in the lab? Or is about your boss?”

I looked back in her direction once more. Exhaling, I replied, “Yes, a little of bit of all that, actually.”

My grandmother was the strongest person I knew. As I looked at her frail frame beneath the bed sheet, I felt a lump collect in the center of my throat. Why couldn’t I just deal with them? She would. She’d tell them exactly where to stick their snarky comments and bitchy attitudes. What was my problem?

I closed my eyes for a moment. “I need for you to promise you won’t judge me.”

“Oh Fiona, don’t be silly. Why would you even think such a thing?”

She filled my vision once more as I reopened my eyes. I shrugged as I started to reply. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“Um, I don’t know. I just don’t fit in. On the other hand, I never have, so it’s not really a surprise.”

My grandmother remained silent for a moment or so before she spoke once more.

“Fiona, I want you to listen to me, all right?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“My dear…” she began as she folded her hands in her lap. “You’ve made so much progress the past few years while you were in college. You’ve been making friends, meeting people. Whatever the problem is, it can’t be so bad that you’d want to go back to the way you used to be. You can’t hide yourself from the world.”

“I know.”

“I was so worried about you during those years. Worried you’d always be a loner, grow up with no friends with your nose always buried in your schoolwork or a book. But look at you now. You’re becoming a woman. And while I think the idea of an office romance is a bad one, it’s clear you’ve at least got him interested in you. That should make you feel good about yourself.”

As she finished her thought, I pulled my knees in towards my chest, hugging them close while leaning back in the recliner. If I believed Gabe was interested in me, she would have a point. But, I had no idea if he was or not, and at this point, my life in the lab would be far easier if he wasn’t. As I ruminated, my grandmother repositioned herself in the bed, assuming an upright, focused posture.

“Fiona, the truth is someday soon… I won’t be here any longer.”

No sooner had she uttered the words than the emotions of the day I buried came roaring back. Almost on cue, my eyes filled with liquid and before I realized it rivulets of wet heat ran down my cheeks.

“Please d-don’t s-say that…” I muttered.

“Well, it’s true dear.”

My upper body convulsed as the notion of her being gone from my life overwhelmed me.

“Fiona, come here. Come give me a hug.”

The springs in the old recliner twanged as I stood. Walking over towards her, I wiped at the fresh discharge of tears, drying my face as best I could. I reached over and hugged her frail body as my grandmother extended her arms around me. She patted me on the back, soothing me with ‘there there's’ and ‘it’s okay’s’. We embraced for a few more moments until at last she spoke once more.

“Sit down, Fiona. Tell me what’s happened.”

I told her everything. I left nothing out. Though I’d been keeping it all a secret for a while now, I didn’t see the point any longer. The situation was getting to be more than I could handle. I needed help.

“What do you think I should do?” I asked her as I finished. “I don’t understand why they are being so mean. I haven’t done anything to them.”

“Well, for starters,” she sniffed, as she straightened her posture in the bed again. “Never let them push you around, if that's what is really going on. Furthermore, the answer to their behavior is obvious, Fiona.”