Defiant Heart (18 page)

Sam frowned, his eyes filled with question. “Why'd who do what?”

“Blake. He gave everything he's been saving. Now he can't buy his land.”

An understanding smile tipped Sam's lips. “I reckon he figured you were more important than land. There's plenty of land to go around. It'll still be there when he saves again. There's only one of you.”

“He said he'd have done it for anyone.”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. But he didn't do it for just anyone, did he? He did it for you.”

“I can't pay him back,” she whispered, tears forming. “I hate being beholden to anyone.”

“Did Blake indicate you owe him anything?”

“No. He won't take…” Heat burned her cheeks. “Never mind.”

Sam covered her hand with his. “Miss Caldwell. I'd pay every cent to see Toni open her eyes. And when she did, my joy would be full just knowing she was safe. I wouldn't ask her for payment”—he gave her a pointed look—“of any kind.”

Fannie's heart ached with longing to understand. She'd been paying for so long, the thought of not owing anything was almost beyond her grasp.

She stared at Sam, willing him to help her trust Blake's motives.

“He says he doesn't want anything from me.”

“Then you'll have to believe your safety is enough for him.”

 

A shout of victory rose from the pioneers when they reached camp the next evening. Weary and heartsick, Fannie found
it difficult to match their enthusiasm. Especially when Mrs. Kane tearfully returned the twins' things. “I guess I truly wasn't meant to be a mother.”

How did one respond to something like that? Thankfully, Fannie was spared the necessity because Mrs. Kane didn't stay for a response.

That night the stars seemed brighter, the moon bigger, and the sky a velvet blanket filled with promise for a future and a hope. Fannie wasn't quite brave enough to sit outside the circle against the wagon wheel as she had once done. But she craved solitude, so she perched on the tongue and allowed the beauty of the night to surround her with peace.

Footsteps interrupted her solitude, and she looked up to find Blake standing next to her. Her cheeks grew warm as she remembered her conduct last night. She knew she owed him an apology. “I-uh—”

Before she could get the words out, Blake thrust her money forward. “You'll be needing this now.”

“Don't be ridiculous. That's only half of my half. It may take me a while to pay you back the rest. But I will. I promise.”

“You don't owe me anything, Fannie.”

“Yes I do. And if you won't take payment in other ways,” she said pointedly, “you must accept the money.”

Blake stepped forward. He set the money down on the wagon seat and took her hand in his. “Fannie, listen to me.” He pulled her to her feet. “When I said I would have done it for anyone, that wasn't true. I paid the money because I care about you, and I wanted you safe.”

Fannie stared wide-eyed and tried to grasp what he was saying. “You care?”

“More than care.” Blake stared down at her, his eyes so earnest, so warm that Fannie felt the urge to snuggle close to him, press her cheek against his chest, and stay there forever. He slipped both arms around her and pulled her close. “I love you. And if you love me too, I want you to marry me. Then I'll take you into my bed, but not because you owe me, but because we're man and wife and we've vowed before God to love and cherish one another.”

His words sounded so beautiful, Fannie couldn't keep back tears. “But what about the money you spent, Blake? Sadie told me you had saved and saved so you could stop being a wagon master.”

He nodded. “I'll have to do one more wagon train. But as my wife, you can file a claim and live in Oregon with the twins.”

Fannie's heart nearly leapt from her chest, and she couldn't look at him as she tried to find the courage to say yes. “Okay, then.”

“What?”

She looked up and stared him in the eye. “I said okay then.”

“Okay, what?”

“What do you mean? You just asked me to marry you.”

A slow smile touched his lips, and Fannie was enchanted to be the recipient of such a beautiful sight. “I said, if you love me too, I want you to marry me.”

Frustration welled inside of her. “Well, I know that. I have ears.”

“Oh, Fannie. Is everything going to be a fight between us?”

“I don't know what you want from me, Blake.”

“All I want is your love. We can work out the rest. But I have to hear you say you love me.”

All of Fannie's resolve melted, and she took a step closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Blake. And if you want me, I'll marry you.”

He grinned and lowered his head.

Fannie spoke up. “But…”

A frown creased his brow, and he moved his head back. “But?”

“The twins. They go where I go.”

He chuckled and pressed a kiss, warm and tender to her forehead. “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Fannie felt a heavy weight fall away from her, and joy that she hadn't known since before her pa's death lifted her to her tiptoes. “Just remember,” she said with a lilt to her voice. “You're going into this with your eyes wide open.”

“Stop talking, Fannie.”

She did, and his lips covered hers as he enveloped her in an embrace that promised forever.

Beginnings are always so exciting. Beginning a new series, a new book, being one of the launch authors for a new line of books like Avon Inspire. But sometimes following through is a challenge. The new wears off pretty fast. And then the struggle begins. Especially for someone like me with a short attention span.

Even through the struggle of trying to finish this book,
Defiant Heart
never got old to me as I wrote from day to day. And at the time that I write this letter, it's been several days since I turned in the book to my editor, and I'm still thinking about Fannie, Blake, Toni, Sam, and the twins, anxious to begin the second book in the Westward Hearts series so I can see how they're all doing. I feel like I knew Fannie and desperately wanted her to find happiness—with God and with the man of her dreams. I wanted to create a heroine who had a lot to overcome, but found grace in the end. Fannie learned that redemption means someone else pays and you owe nothing. There's an old song we used to sing:

Powerful. Powerful. Powerful. In Blake, I wanted to create a man who had a lot to lose and was willing to lose it to save the woman he loved. He was the character who personified the sacrifice Jesus made for humanity. Just like it is difficult to grasp sometimes that Jesus doesn't expect us to work off that payment,
Fannie had trouble at first realizing that Blake was willing to pay for her and let her go, if that's what she wanted. But how much better for her that she agreed to become his bride?

I pray that as you read
Defiant Heart
, Jesus shows you how wild He is for you.

All things new….

Tracey Bateman

1. Blake has a problem trusting women because of his mother's past. How does your upbringing affect your current relationships for the good or bad?
   
2. Do you think Fannie (and Toni) had the right to take the money when they left Hawkins? Why or why not? What would you have done in their situation?
   
3. Why do you think Sam is able to look past Toni's sins and into her heart?
   
4. Do you know someone with a tarnished past and wish you could give them the benefit of the doubt? Are you the one who is trying to change but find it difficult to convince people around you of your sincerity?
   
5. Throughout Fannie's early childhood she had a happy family life with two loving parents. Suddenly her world was upended when her father died. What could her
   mother have done to spare her children their hard life after her death?
   
6. Why do you think no one came to Fannie and the twins' rescue from Tom? After three years, surely someone noticed they were being abused. How far have we come as a society where child protection is concerned?
   
7. What steps do you think Fannie should take to learn to forgive those who have hurt her, including the stepfather who sold her to Tom in the first place? How does her inability to forgive keep her from moving forward in her life?
   
8. Both Fannie and Toni are willing to risk everything to have a chance to start fresh out West. Has there ever been a time in your life when you were considering taking a huge risk for a new opportunity?
   
9. Throughout
   Defiant Heart,
   Fannie is incredibly brave, headstrong, and stubborn. Her very strong points can sometimes become weaknesses. When does that happen? Do you have any attributes that can become burdens?
   
10. When Fannie realizes that Blake wants nothing in return for paying her debt, she is able to make the parallel to Jesus. Discuss this debt-cancellation as it pertains to mankind.