Authors: Kathy Clark
Deep Night
Deep Night
is a work of fiction. Names, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
A Loveswept eBook Original
Copyright © 2015 by Kathy Clark
Excerpt from
After Love
by Kathy Clark copyright © 2016 by Kathy Clark
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Loveswept, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
L
OVESWEPT
is a registered trademark and the
L
OVESWEPT
colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.
This book contains an excerpt from the forthcoming book
After Love
by Kathy Clark. This excerpt has been set for this edition only and may not reflect the final content of the forthcoming edition.
eBook ISBNâ9781101885611
Cover design: Caroline Teagle
Cover photograph: © Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/Shutterstock
v4.1
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“Sunny, please take the plates to the table. Your friends will be arriving soon, and I've got to finish decorating the cake.” Her mother smiled and nodded toward a stack of paper plates.
The little girl picked up the plates and skipped out of the kitchen. Birthday parties were one of her favorite things, especially when they were hers. She and her mom had been working all morning decorating the dining room. Twisted yellow and green streamers crisscrossed the ceiling and helium balloons were tied to the back of every chair. A paper tablecloth with pictures of galloping horses covered the table. Matching cups were already set out in a row, and Sunny placed the plates next to them.
Sunny lived and breathed horses. Hopefully, her friends knew her well enough not to bring her something ridiculous like a doll or other girly stuff.
The doorbell rang, and she ran to greet her first guest. She had more male than female friends, but she had invited an almost equal number of both to make the party games more competitive.
Soon the house was filled with squeals and laughter. The boys constantly found ways to tease the girls, and secretly, the girls loved the attention. They were at an age where they were just starting to realize there was a difference between the sexesâ¦even if they weren't sure what to do about it.
Everyone loved the cake, chocolate and white swirled together and covered with buttery icing tinted green to resemble grass. Sunny's mom was a great cook, even though her meals weren't fancy. She was always talking about taking cooking lessons, but she couldn't find the time, considering she worked the night shift and took care of the household and her family during the day. As far as Sunny was concerned, she was happy with her mom's plain old pot roast and having warm chocolate chip cookies ready after school.
Sunny led the games and insisted everyone join in. They played bean bag toss until the boys started throwing the bags at each other and one of them broke, spilling corn kernels all over the room. A lively game of balloon target followed, then pin the tail on the donkey, but when Sunny caught one of the boys cheating, Mom wisely stopped the games and moved everyone to the living room to open the gifts, which, thankfully, were mostly model horses. Afterward, the party spilled out onto the driveway, where the boysâ¦and Sunnyâ¦played basketball while the other girls sat on the sidelines and cheered for their favorite boy. Sunny didn't really get the giggly gossip. She couldn't care less about clothes and shoes and had no interest in shopping, but that was all the girls seemed to talk about. So, Sunny hung out with boys because they liked to build forts and play paintball.
By the time everyone had left, it was almost dark. Her mother had cleaned up the plates and forks, but there was still wrapping paper strewn around and limp balloons bouncing off the floor. Her mother was in a hurry because she didn't want to be late for work. She had tried to get the day off, but stomach flu had taken out half the department, so there wasn't anyone to cover for her.
“I sprayed some cleaner on that grape Kool-Aid stain in the dining room. Could you blot it and see if you can get it out?” her mother asked as she hung her apron on the hook in the pantry.
“Sure, Mom.” Sunny took the wet rag her mother handed her.
“I'm sorry, baby, but I've got to go. I hope you had a nice birthday.”
Sunny gave her mother a big hug. “It was awesomeâ¦the best birthday ever.”
Her mother returned the hug. “I'm glad. Don't forget to take a bath and brush your teeth. Your dad will be home soon. He'll be up later to tuck you in.” She took her purse off the hook by the door and went into the garage.
Sunny knelt on the carpet. Grape was the worst. She blotted, then sprayed again and blotted until most of the color lifted. There was still a hint of purple left, but she was tired. It had been an exciting day, and she was anxious to get to her room and play with her new toys.
She hurried through her bath, brushed her teeth and freed her long, blond hair from its habitual ponytail. She combed out the tangles and put on her shorty nightgown and a clean pair of blue cotton panties, then hurried to her room.
There were a dozen new Breyer horses waiting to be put in the wooden stables she had gotten for Christmas a couple of years ago. Every night she groomed and fed those plastic horses with the dedication and devotion as if they were real. Each had a name and a personality, and she proudly introduced the new arrivals to the herd.
Once everyone was settled, she climbed into bed and turned out her light. She must have dozed off, because it was after midnight when her bedroom door opened and her dad entered the room. The bed sagged as he sat on the edge. She felt his big, rough hand stroke her hair.
“How's my birthday girl?” he asked, his words slurring together.
“I'm fine,” she murmured, only half-awake.
“I'm sorry I missed your party. My meeting ran late.” He leaned over and kissed her full on the lips.
His breath was so sour and awful that she turned her head away.
“Don't pull away from me, sweetie. Daddy loves you.” His voice was low and soothing as he continued to play with her hair. She felt herself drifting back to sleep, but the feel of his hand on her bare leg brought her wide awake.
“I'm really tired,” she told him, barely able to see his features in the darkness. Her daddy often gave her hugs and kisses on her cheek, but tonight he was making her feel uncomfortable.
“You're so grown up. It won't be long before all the boys will be trying to get in your pants. You need to know what to expect.”
The mattress lifted as he stood. In the dark, she heard the clink of his belt buckle loosening, following by the scrape of his zipper opening. His pants hit the floor with a jingle of metal and coins. He tossed the comforter aside and his hands roughly pulled down her panties.
Sunny knew a little about the birds and the bees, but her knowledge was all based on health class or
Animal Planet.
Certainly no personal experience.
His fingers moved between her legs, and she automatically squeezed her legs tightly together.
“Relax, sweetie. Daddy is going to show you how it feels. It's really good. You'll like it.” He continued to stroke her in a very private place. “You trust me, don't you?”
Of course she did. He was her fatherâ¦the man who took her to the park and taught her how to play basketball. He was the man who held her hand in the mall and sat next to her in church. He was the man who loved her and her mother and wouldn't do anything to hurt either of themâ¦right?
“This is something that all daddies do with their little girls,” he whispered in her ear as he crawled over her and supported himself on his hands and knees. “Don't tell your mommy. She wants to keep you a baby forever. You're not a little baby anymore, are you?”
“No,” she answered. Growing up was all she thought about. She had dreams and plans that could only happen once she was an adult. Maybe this was a rite of passage for all girls. Her daddy wouldn't lie to her, would he?
“Relax, Sunny. This will be fun.”
She swallowed hard. So far, it wasn't fun. She didn't like it when her daddy drank too much. The smell she recognized as whiskey, his drink of choice, was pungent and harsh in her nostrils. It seemed to be oozing from his pores as he lowered himself on her. She felt something hard pushing against herâ¦forcing itself inside. It was much bigger than she was, but he kept pushing. A searing pain ripped through her and she cried out, but he didn't seem to notice.
Sunny squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to pretend her horses were real, and she was on one, probably the pinto. His name was Tonka, and she loved him most of all. He had a long, flowing mane and tail. They were galloping across the prairie, with the wind whipping through her hair and the summer sun hot on her face. He was fast, and she clung to his back like a burr, her hands twisted into his mane. The rhythmic sound of hooves on the dry earth pounded in her ears.
With a guttural grunt, her father relaxed, his weight almost crushing her. He must have realized it because he pushed himself off and got out of bed. She heard the rustle of his clothes, but she kept her head turned away. There was a metallic taste in her mouth, and she realized she had bit her lip.
“You're a very good girl, Sunny. And Daddy loves you. Just don't forget that this is our secret. Not all the girls are lucky enough to have what we have. Okay?”
He waited next to the bed until she whispered a soft, “Okay.”
“I'll take you out for an ice-cream cone at Baskin-Robbins tomorrow, okay?”
He didn't move until, again, she breathed an unenthusiastic, “Okay.” Ice cream was the farthest thought from her mind, but she would have said anything to make him leave.
“Good night, Sunny.”
She heard the door close as he left, but still, she didn't move. Hot, salty tears dripped off the bridge of her nose and wet her pillow. If this was part of becoming a grown-up, she didn't think she was going to like it much. Slowly, she climbed out of bed. She hurt all overâ¦where he had touched her and deep inside her heart. She picked up her panties and pulled them back on, then crawled under the covers and curled into a tight ball on her side.
It was her tenth birthdayâ¦she would never forget it.