Deep Freeze: Protocol One, Book 2 (Protocol One Saga) (15 page)

“Do you know how hard this is to believe?”

Don nodded. “I would think the missing survivors from Pittsburgh is proof enough.”

“How do I know you didn’t take them?” I asked. “Mike told us it was the military.”

“And we don’t have the man power to take a camp of survivors let alone a city. Gil does. Hell, we lost forty troops to him last month. He pulls them in. We can’t protect the cities and survivors camps. We can warn them and help them protect themselves. We need to know where they are. That was Gwen’s job. The most unsuspecting spy against him.”

I fluttered a laugh in sarcasm. “I have news for you. Everyone knew she was a spy. Especially Tony.”

“I suspected,” Tony said. “Like you. But I had no idea she knew me.”

Don added. “Gwen is pretty smart. She knew we had two men inside. She guessed it.”

I didn’t need confirmation. I knew Tom was the second man. “So what was Gwen’s job exactly?”

“Get close to Gil. Gain his trust again. Be part of the plan. Pass it to us so we could try to protect these people. Maybe even recruit for us. Get our resources back. Our fuel. Our food stockpiles. But …even giving him one of our doctors wasn’t good enough. He never mentioned Pittsburgh to her.”

I tossed out my hands. “So this was all in vain? You have no idea where he took those people.”

Don shook his head. “None. We think Midwest, but we aren’t sure. Maybe if Gwen would have stayed. But I doubt it. Now we are back to square one. We have no one there. Imagine, Anna, living in this world, and knowing the only way you can feed your family is to do what you are told. No choice. No starting your own farm. The world was wiped clean, and Gil now has a clean slate to create his perfect world.”

“Giltatorship,” Tony said.

I pulled the folder to me and closed it. “May I hold this and read it?”

“Absolutely,” Don said. “Gwen told me there are others. Your doctor, agricultural person. She didn’t know where they went but said you are setting up. Some of them were exiled. Anna, if you sent them to a place Gil had, we can’t protect them. Gil will eventually go to his property and God help you all, because unless you have an Army of your own, he’ll take that place back. Tell me where they are. We can...”

“No. But then again, I’m sure Tony will.” Holding the folder, I stood up and turned.

“Anna,” Don softly spoke my name. “Can I speak to you … alone?”

I paused.

Don shifted his eyes from Tony to Peter. “Alone.”

I waited, frozen where I was as Tony and Peter left.

Once they did, Don asked. “Where were you going when you stood?”

“I don’t know.”

“Please sit.”

I did.

Don folded his hands on his desk. “I know you are feeling very confused right now.”

“To say the least.”

“You kidnapped my daughter. You directed your exiled people to what you thought was a safe haven. You came here to find… how many Pittsburgh survivors?”

“Over a hundred.”

“Why?” he asked.

“They’re good people. And I failed. I failed those survivors, I failed my own people …” I sighed out with a scoff. “I failed all the way around.”

“No. You can still help them all. Listen to me,” He leaned over his folded hands. “I have something to ask of you.”

I went home.

Ironically, the Damnation Alley Bunker was a mere fifty miles from my midland home. After my conversation with Don, I left, alone, and I went home.

My small neighborhood street was a mix of destruction and perfection.

The black mud was everywhere, even on the sides of the homes. I drove through the town square, stores were busted out, and some burned. When I arrived on my street I wasn’t hopeful about my home. Half the houses in my neighborhood had burned to the ground. It was a crap shoot when the fire balls fell from the sky.

My home was lucky.

Though covered in black, and my yard a mud bath, with the exception of broken windows, my house looked fine.

I needed to go there. It was my father’s house, my house and my home with my son. I brought with me an empty duffle bag and revolver, and drove the Humvee there.

The package of cookies that Jackson was eating, still sat on the coffee table. It was covered in black thick ash, and I ran my fingers through it. There were things I needed. Things I wanted.

My boots sloshed in the thick wet substance that soaked my carpet. It didn’t feel strange to be home, it felt safe. Safe from the world that crumbled. My world.

I was no less than heartbroken. I wanted to cry. Never in my life had I felt like such a fool.

Peter tried to talk to me before I left. I told him I needed to be alone. I found that salvation in my home. I ended up crying when I stepped into Jackson’s room. My God did I miss my son. What would he had said about it all? What would Jackson had done?

Items in my dresser were completely fine. I grabbed some clothing items, and the photo album I forgot. When I lifted the photo album, there was an unframed wedding picture of me and Gil.

I had known Gil more years than I didn’t know him. It was so hard to hear that he wasn’t a good man. Deep in my heart, he was. Just misguided. Making bad decisions for good reasons … like me.

“Anna.”

I shuttered.

Tony’s voice.

“What are you doing here, Tony?” I asked.

He stepped into the bedroom, “I followed you.”

“I wanted to be alone.”

“I need to talk to you.”

I shut the dresser drawer and turned. “Talk.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

“Anna …”

“No. It makes sense now why Gil never recognized you.”

“What I told you back then was the truth.”

“Except you left out that you were watching Gil.” I said. “Don’t you think that was an important thing?”

“Why? I was watching him. Not you. You have some sort of hero worship for him, Anna. You wouldn’t believe me anyhow. You still don’t believe it.”

“You still could have told me. I trusted you.’

“You still can.”

I laughed. “How? You lied to me.”

“I never lied. I just never told you it all.”

“I fell in love with you.”

“I fell in love with you, too. I love you, Anna.” Tony placed his hands on my arms. “Please. Believe that. That was never a lie.”

“If you knew Gil was responsible for Pittsburgh, why did you let me come down here?”

Tony lifted his hands. “I don’t know. A part of me hoped that maybe the government was responsible. Maybe they knew where they went. Would you have believed me if I told you everything?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. You knew you were going to be outed when we got here.”

“I did.”

“What about Dylan Camp? Were you telling Don about that?”

“No. No. My job was done. I wasn’t getting information from Gil. He hates me. I fully intended to leave with you and start a life.”

“Knowing he could hit that camp?” I asked. “That’s what Don thinks. He thinks if Gil knows we are there, he’s coming.”

“Then we leave. We run. Tom and I were going to have an escape route. A lookout for incoming and an escape plan. There’s a lake there. We make a getaway, and find a new place. Always ready to run.”

“Is that how you want to live life?” I asked. “Looking over your shoulder?”

“I told you, Anna, none of this is our problem. There are no good guys and bad guys here. Just one with better intentions than the other. Two powers that will clash. That’s the way of life. In every civilization, in every time, there have been people fighting to control it all. I just want us away from it. Until the better of the two gains control, we will have to run. It won’t be safe. Unfortunately, there is no way to help the better of the two gain control.”

I stepped back from Tony. “That’s not necessarily so. Sending Gwen was in the right direction.”

“Yeah, it was. However he didn’t like her or trust her enough. Had he been putty in her hands, then it would have been a different situation.”

I lifted my eyes to him. “Don thinks the right person can make a difference in a short period of time.”

The revelation hit him. I saw it. “No.” he said.

I turned away.

“Anna, you can’t. I love you. Joie loves you.”

“I know,” I faced him. “I love you, Tony. Even with the hurt I can’t help that. I love Joie, too. More than anything I want a safe world for you all.”

“Again, you cannot save the world.”

I shook my head. “I know I can’t. But I can save what is the world to me. That is those I have come to love. They only way to do that is to take Gwen’s place.”

“How long? I need a time frame. How long? Don’t say as long as it takes. If you can give me a time frame, I may accept it. How long?”

“I don’t know.”

“I can’t believe you are making this decision.”

I stopped him. “I haven’t made the decision. I promised you I would not make any more choices without thinking about all those involved. And I will. I haven’t made up my mind yet. When I do, it will be after I have thought it through and planned it out.”

“Tell me you aren’t doing this because you hate me.”

Sadly, I lowered my head and exhaled with a smile. “I can never hate you. Hurt? Yep. Disappointed... oh boy. Hate. No.” I leaned forward and kissed him softly. “Everyone seems to have a purpose, Tony. Yours is Joie. Everyone has a skill. Melissa, Craig, Peter. I’m not a leader. I’m privileged and survived because of that. Being back at this house reminded me that my main purpose before all this was Jackson. He’s gone. I need a purpose.”

“Joie and I aren’t enough?” he asked.

“More than you realize, you guys are the purpose that will drive my decision.” After kissing him once more on the cheek, I put our conversation on pause and returned to my home, taking in the memories and feeling it gave me.

It was my world before the comet, and covered in soot and ash, I needed to absorb that world for a little longer.

For as long as I could remember I made choices and decisions without thinking and doing what I was told. Even before the comet, I listened to my father and to Gil, they told me what school to attend, what music institute to send my son to. I bought what Gil told me to buy, like the aluminum foil and never did I question why.

I accepted what Tony told me at face value and placed my trust in his guidance. Except of course, when he was defiant about picking up strays on the way to the bunker.

In hindsight, those strays were valuable assets even Tony couldn’t deny.

Nothing I ever did was ever intended to hurt anyone.

For the first time in my life, I fully made the decision on my own, weighed my options and before finalizing, considered those involved, even speaking to them.

Tony hurt me, but was it enough of a deceit that I couldn’t forgive him? He was honest except with his work.

I made up my mind that life was too short and the world was too far gone to forget all the positive things Tony did for me. How he was there when I needed him, there for my son. And I like to think I was there for him as well.

Joie added a spark to me that I thought would forever be lost.

Unlike every other snap decision made in the heat of the moment, the decision I had to make wasn’t done quickly, it took days.

It was for the best.

After three days at Damnation Alley, Tony and Joie left for South Carolina and I left with Peter for Protocol One. The Rufus radio act would be our means of staying in touch.

I made one call to Gil, letting him know I was fine and that I would explain when I returned.

When we got back to Protocol One, we were greeted in the bay by a frantic and devastated looking Gil.

I knew right then and there, I could be and do what was needed.

“My God.” Gil grabbed hold of me. “What happened?” He locked his arms around me and I returned the embrace convincingly.

“It was scary. I owe my life to Peter,” I said.

“Peter.” Gil reached out to him. “I can’t thank you enough.”

We explained to Gil that after the exile, Tony had enough and without asking, set up the entire kidnapping with me to coincide with a run. Gwen was an unwilling participant because she was with Joie.

Peter had rigged a radio, got a hold of Mulligan and Damnation Alley came to our rescue.

Gwen decided to stay in Texas.

“Peter is loyal. But I’m surprised you wanted to leave,” Gil said. “After all, you and Tony are...”

“Tony is not you. He can never be you. I realized that. This is where I belong.”

“Do you know where they are?” Gil asked.

“They picked us up in Kansas. So they are out west,” I answered.

“We’ll find them.”

“How?”

“Don’t worry. We’ll talk later. Right now, you two need to rest. It’s been rough for you.” Gil placed his arm around me. “I’m just glad you’re here with me.”

“Me, too.” I told him. “Me too.”

In our walk back into the bunker, I glanced at Peter. He had a certain expression, one of unknowing, as if he weren’t sure that Gil was entrusting us or entrapping us.

But I knew.

There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Gil believed every bit of what we told him. I reiterated it by holding him, taking his embrace and selling the emotions.

Before leaving, I absorbed my remaining time with Tony and Joie, hoping that one day I would see them again. There was an underlying plan that it would only be for six months.  Promising them I would try to adhere to that and one day pick up the pieces where we all left off. Find them in South Carolina and live that life with them, along with all the others. I would miss them horribly, but I was doing what I had to do to keep them safe. Keep them all safe. If I was at the bunker, if I made it into the heart of what Gil had planned, then I would accomplish what needed to be done.

There were a lot of secrets left to uncover, a lot of truths to be learned in my time there.

How everything eventually played out remained to be seen. In six months a lot would and could change.

The world was a different place. Survival was foremost, as was the continuity of mankind. I was doing my part to help out. At least I hoped.

Another full circle.

Not only did I go back to my home in Midland, I returned to Protocol One.

It wasn’t where I wanted to be, it was where I had to be.

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