Deenie (6 page)

Eight

As soon as Daddy unlocked the front door I ran upstairs.

"Deenie … " Ma called. "Where are you going?"

"To my room."

"Come have a snack with us."

"I'm not hungry." I closed my bedroom door and took the S volume of my encyclopedia down from the shelf. If Daddy wasn't going to explain anything to me then I'd have to find out about it myself.

I looked up scoliosis. It said:
Skoh lih OH sihs, means a side-to-side curve or bend of the normally straight spine or backbone. Scoliosis may occur in any part of the spine. It may be single (curved like a
C)
or double (curved like an S). Scoliosis starts in childhood or the teens. It has a strong familial tendency. Treatment includes exercises, braces or surgery.

I copied all of that down in my notebook. I didn't understand the whole thing but I got the general idea. The next thing I looked up was spine. There was half a column, none of it very interesting. But under related articles it said
hunchback.
So I slammed the book closed and reached for
H.
I copied down everything:
Hunchback is a severe rounded or sharp prominence of the upper part of the back. Because this part of the back sticks out like a big hump, the condition is sometimes called humpback. Hunchback is caused by any condition that deforms the bones of the upper part of the spine. Hunchback involves the portion of the spine to which the ribs are connected. The hump results when the front part of the spinal bones collapses, spreading the back part.

The last part didn't make much sense but the rest of it was a good description of Old Lady Murray!

That night, when I was ready for bed, I read over what I'd written a few times before I made up my mind. I would have an operation! I'd let the doctors fix me up. So what if I missed a few weeks of school. It would still be better than wearing a brace or winding up like Old Lady Murray.

I ran downstairs to tell Daddy and Ma about my decision, but the kitchen door was closed and I could hear them talking. I stood next to the door and listened.

Ma said, "No one's cutting Deenie open!"

"Thelma," Daddy told her, "he didn't say they'd have to operate."

"I don't care what they say," Ma answered. "Nobody's cutting Deenie open. Doctors make mistakes all the time."

"Stop fooling yourself!" Daddy said. "The doctors are right about Deenie."

"Even if they are I'm not letting them operate. Suppose they make a mistake while she's on the table? They could cut the wrong thing and she'll wind up a cripple. Is that what you want?"

"They probably won't have to operate. We'll see what Dr. Kliner says. After all, he's a specialist."

Ma started crying. "My beautiful baby … my beautiful, beautiful baby."

"Carrying on like this isn't going to help Deenie," Daddy said.

"Oh Frank! I had such plans for her," Ma said. "I can't believe this is really happening."

I turned away from the kitchen door and ran back to my room. As soon as I got into bed I started touching myself. I have this special place and when I rub it I get a very nice feeling. I don't know what it's called or if anyone else has it but when I have trouble falling asleep, touching my special place helps a lot.

The next day, in the cafeteria, I told Janet and Midge, "I'm going to have an operation."

"What?" Janet spit out a piece of ham. "I don't believe it!"

"Is that why you went to the orthopedist?" Midge asked.

I looked around to make sure no one else could hear, especially Buddy Brader, who was at the next table. Midge and Janet put their heads near mine and I talked very softly. "I wouldn't want this to get around," I said.

"Don't worry."

"Our lips are sealed."

"Well … "I looked around one more time but Buddy wasn't listening. He was fooling around with his friends. "I have a crooked spine," I whispered. "And they have to operate to straighten it out."

"No kidding!" Janet said.

"So it wasn't your posture?" Midge asked.

"No."

"When are you going to the hospital?" Janet said. "I don't know yet. I have to see one more doctor but I think it will be soon."

"Which hospital?" Midge asked. "General?"

"I don't know that either."

"I hope we can visit you," Janet said.

"You better!"

"But you have to be fourteen to visit patients," Midge said.

"So? We can look fourteen," Janet said. "I'll just fix my hair like this … " She pulled all her hair up on top of her head. "And I'll make an old-looking face like this … " Janet looked so silly me and Midge couldn't help laughing at her.

"Listen … "I told them, giving Midge a friendly punch in the arm, "I like pink roses best!"

That night Janet called. "Can you come downtown with me and Midge tomorrow?"

"To shop?"

"No … for lunch and a movie."

"Hang on … I have to ask." I put the phone down and went into the kitchen. Ma was finishing up the dishes. She said yes, I could go downtown with my friends.

We took the bus at ten-thirty so we'd have enough time to go exploring in Woolworth's before lunch, but at the last minute Janet and Midge decided to get off in front of Drummond's Department Store instead.

"Why are we getting off here?" I asked.

"To go shopping … " Midge said.

"But you said we weren't going to shop. I only brought $3.50 with me."

"Don't worry," Midge said.

Janet grabbed my arm. "Come on Deenie!" She pulled me through the revolving door and into the store. Then Midge took my other arm and both of them led me to the elevator. "Fourth floor, please," Midge told the operator.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You'll see in a minute," Janet said.

I tried to think of what could be on the fourth floor. "Shoes?" I asked.

"Nope," Janet said, starting to laugh.

The elevator door opened and we stepped out.

"Tell me what's happening!" I said.

"Soon … soon … "

We walked across the floor to a small department called junior lingerie. There was a salesgirl behind the counter and Janet told her, "We'd like to see something beautiful in a nightgown."

"What size?" the salesgirl asked.

"For her," Midge said, pointing at me.

I opened my mouth but before I could say anything Midge said, "It's for the hospital … after your operation … "

"So you look pretty when we come to visit," Janet added.

"I … I mean I … I don't … " I began.

"Don't say a word," Janet said. "That's what friends are for." She turned to the salesgirl. "She's having an operation … not that you'd know it to look at her, but she is."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the salesgirl said.

"She's going to be fine when it's over," Janet told her.

"I'm sure she will," the salesgirl said. "What color do you like?" she asked me.

"Ummm … pink," I said. "Either that or lavender."

We looked through a pile of nighties before we found one made of two layers of the softest nylon. The top layer was pink and the underneath was purple so when you moved it around it had a sort of lavender look to it.

"That's perfect!" Janet said, holding it up to me.

"What do you think, Deenie?" Midge asked.

"It's beautiful!" I said. "But it's $11.95."

"Never mind about that," Midge told me. "We're charging it. As long as it's what you really want we don't care what it costs."

"I love it!" I said, thinking that maybe Buddy Brader would visit me too.

"We'll take it," Janet said. "And we'd like it gift-wrapped because it's a present."

When we were outside again I hugged Janet and Midge and told them, "No girl could have better friends!"

Next we went to lunch but they wouldn't let me pay for anything even though I kept saying, "But I have $3.50."

"Save it," Midge said. "Everything's on us."

"You're the guest of honor," Janet said. "And guess what movie we're taking you to see?"

"I don't know."

"The one at the Rialto … it's X-rated."

I started to laugh. "But how can we get in? You have to be eighteen, at least."

"We can pass for that with no trouble," Janet told me. "Just concentrate on looking old."

But besides looking old you also had to prove you were at least eighteen and since we couldn't the lady in the booth wouldn't sell us tickets so we settled for the movie down the street which was called
Massachusetts General
and from the pictures outside the theater we knew it was about a hospital.

There were two cartoons before the main picture and by that time we needed more popcorn so Midge went out to the lobby to buy it. When she came back she whispered, "I just saw Buddy Brader and Steve Hildrick."

"Where are they sitting?" I asked.

"I don't know. I saw them buying candy."

"Did they see you?" Janet said.

"Sure," Midge told her. "I said hello to them."

"Did they ask who you were with?" I said.

"No. They didn't say anything." I turned around in my seat but I couldn't find them anywhere.

"Are they by themselves or with a whole bunch of guys?" Janet asked.

"I don't know!" Midge said. "What's the difference anyway?"

"None," Janet told her.

I turned around again. Were they sitting near by? Could they see us? I should have worn a clean sweater.

The picture started. The first scene was of this young doctor making out with a nurse. You knew it was a nurse because she still had on her white hat.

Naturally we all laughed. The next scene showed a gory operation. I could still hear Ma saying, "Nobody's going to cut Deenie open."

Midge leaned across Janet and said, "Maybe you shouldn't watch this part, Deenie."

"It's all right," I told her. "My operation's not going to be like that."

"They're not going to mess with Deenie's guts," Janet whispered. "Just her spine … isn't that right?"

"That's right," I said.

Somebody sat down in the seat next to me then. I glanced over because Ma's told me a million times never to let a strange man sit next to me in the movies. If one does I'm supposed to get up and change seats and if the man should follow me I'm supposed to call the usher and report him.

Only it wasn't a strange man sitting next to me this time. It was Buddy Brader. When I looked over at him he was staring right at me. And he was kind of smiling too.

I said, "Oh, hi Buddy."

Steve Hildrick was sitting next to him. So I whispered, "Hi Steve."

They acted like they were really surprised to see me.

I tried very hard to concentrate on the movie but it wasn't easy. Pretty soon Buddy Brader put his arm around my chair and when he did, Janet, who was on my other side, gave me a kick and started to laugh. So I looked over at Buddy as if to say, "What do you think you're doing?" and that's when he took his arm off the back of the seat and put it on my shoulder! After a few minutes of that he leaned close and whispered, "Why don't you change seats with Steve?"

Janet, who was leaning just as close on my other side, said, "Go ahead Deenie." I guess that meant she wanted to sit next to Steve. So I stood up and moved over while Steve sat down between Buddy and Janet. He put his arm around her right away. Not the chair, but
her.

This time Buddy didn't do that. He reached down for my hand instead. I never held hands with a boy before. At least, never like that, in a dark place where you don't have to hold hands because you need a partner for any special reason, like dancing or something.

It felt very nice too. Buddy's fingers were warm. I didn't look at him once the whole time we were holding hands. But when that young doctor and nurse were going at it again he squeezed my fingers which made me look over at Janet to see if she noticed that I was holding hands, and I saw she and Steve were doing the same thing except he still had his other arm around her. Midge was still looking straight ahead at the movie.

Halfway through the picture I noticed that my hand was sweating. It was during the scene where the girl died on the operating table. You knew she was dead when the bleeps stopped and the lines didn't go up and down on the little machine anymore. By then I really had to go to the bathroom. I've never been able to make it through a whole show. Even when I was little Ma had to take me out a couple of times whenever we saw a movie. So I whispered, "Excuse me," to Buddy and he let go of my hand. When he did he wiped his own off on his pants.

I went to the Ladies' Room and when I was done I stopped to have a look in the mirror. If only I'd known I was going to meet Buddy Brader I'd have washed my hair.