Debutante Hill (16 page)

She hesitated by her sister's chair. She had an impulse to give her a quick hug of gratitude. But Dodie was not the kind of a girl who hugged people, so Lynn merely smiled instead.

“Thanks,” she said again.

‘“Think nothing of it.” Dodie said briskly. “Little sisters make pretty good sounding boards.”

“Big ones do, too,” Lynn said softly. “Remember that. You may have your own problems one of these days.”

“I probably will.”

Dodie smiled at her, and Lynn smiled back, and there was a closeness between them that had never been there before. For the first time, it seemed as though they were more than just sisters. They were actually friends.

When she lay in bed that night Lynn thought about this some more. It was strange the way, when she had needed her, Dodie had been there. Talking to her had made the problem with Dirk seem less tremendous, more a size that
could be coped with. What had happened to Dodie tonight to make her so much warmer and friendlier?

And the answer came to her in something little Janie had said one time—“If Dodie cares about you and if you need her, she will do anything in the world for you.” Thinking back on it, Lynn saw that this was true. To the people who needed her, to Janie who could not pass her Latin course without help, to Ronnie who had first come to her attention when he was struggling to handle a job and three little brothers at the same time, Dodie had given of herself warmly and freely. And tonight, for the very first time, Lynn had needed her sister. And Dodie had been there.

The new relationship with Dodie, however, was the only bright note in the Christmas holidays. The next week passed slowly and miserably. Lynn found herself jumping each time the telephone rang and holding her breath whenever anyone else answered, desperate with the hope that it might be Paul.

But it never was.

Dirk phoned twice, and both times Lynn found an excuse not to go out with him, once because she had a headache and the second time because it was her mother's birthday.

“You can't keep doing this indefinitely,” Dodie remarked, after Lynn had hung up from the second call. “It's not going to be Mother's birthday forever, you know. One of these days, you're going to have to see him and give him back the necklace, and putting it off isn't making it any easier.”

“I know,” Lynn sighed. “I guess I'm just a coward. I hate the thought of a scene.”

Dodie nodded, understandingly. “I understand.” She
gave her sister a sharp glance. “What about you and Paul? Is that completely over?”

Lynn felt the sinking sensation in her stomach that always came with the mention of Paul.

“I guess it is. He hasn't called, and Ernie says he's been taking Brenda to all the debutante parties. That pasty-faced little Brenda! I guess she's pretty proud of herself, having got her claws into Paul. And all the time she looks so innocent.”

Dodie nodded sympathetically. “I always said she was a drip.”

Nancy, however, had a different remark to make when Lynn mentioned the situation to her. Although Nancy was active in all the debutante functions and had much less time to spend with Lynn these days, she still dropped over fairly often. Lynn could not help wondering whether it was because of their friendship or because she was going with Ernie. Either way, she was grateful for this one tie with old times.

“Can you imagine,” Lynn said, “making her mother phone Paul to force him to take her out? Isn't that nerve for you?”

Nancy was silent a moment. Then she said, “I just can't believe that, Lynn. I've come to know Brenda pretty well since she became a debutante, and I don't think she's like that.”

“You mean you don't believe me!” Lynn was stunned.

“Oh, Lynn! I believe that Mrs. Peterson called—it's just like something she would do; but I can't believe that Brenda knew about it. You should see her with Paul, Lynn. She's just as sparkly and excited. I think he must be the first
boy who has ever paid attention to her. I don't think she knows about her mother calling at all.”

“You mean she thinks he just threw me over in order to go out with her?”

Nancy flushed. “I don't mean exactly that, either. I just don't think she knows her mother had anything to do with it.” She hesitated. “You know, Lynn, you shouldn't have been so mad at Paul for taking Brenda to that first dance. I'm sure he didn't think it would hurt you. He just thought she was in trouble, not having an escort, and he was going to help her out.”

“But why?” Lynn snapped back. “Of all the boys in town, why did Paul feel he had to be the one to help her?”

“Because he's like that,” Nancy answered quietly. “He always has been; you know that. Remember how you met him in the first place, when he was helping Ernie make the team? He didn't have to do that any more than he had to help Brenda. It's just the way he is.”

Lynn nodded, her eyes suddenly full of tears.

“I know,” she said finally.

It was this very trait in Paul which had endeared him to her in the first place. The warm, easy friendliness with which he faced the whole world.

And I was his girl, she thought miserably. I wore his ring.

At the thought of the ring, another idea occurred to her. She suddenly realized that she ought to return the ring to Paul. He's too polite to come and ask for it, she told herself, and he might want it back. He might want it now, before he goes back to college.

And then still another idea, one she could not bear
to put into words, trembled at the brink of her mind—he might want the ring to give to Brenda.

Before the ache could get any worse and perhaps she would not be able to force herself to do it, she ran up the stairs to her room and got the ring out of her purse and sealed it in an envelope. She wrote, “For Paul Kingsley” on the front and, that evening, she gave the envelope to Ernie.

“Here,” she said, “at the party tonight give this to Paul, will you?”

Ernie nodded absent-mindedly and started to put the envelope in his pocket. Then he hesitated, letting his fingers touch the knobby little lump inside. He glanced up at his sister questioningly.

“You sure you want me to, Sis? You sure this is how you want it?”

Lynn answered, “This is how
he
wants it.”

“I don't know.” Ernie frowned. “I think you're giving up too easily. That little Peterson gal—well, I didn't used to think she amounted to anything. I guess nobody did. But since the debutante parties started, she's been like another girl, kind of peppy and bright looking, almost pretty. Not as pretty as you are, of course, but the way she looks at Paul—well, it's fairly easy to see, she's falling for him hard.” He stopped at the hurt in Lynn's eyes. “I'm sorry, Sis. I didn't mean to make you feel any worse. I just want you to realize how things are. I don't know if Paul's fallen for her or not, but if he hasn't—and then you give back his ring—and Brenda's right there, thinking he's wonderful—well, it's just asking for it. You just might be giving it a push.”

He was looking at her with such brotherly concern that
Lynn felt the tears starting again.

This is just ridiculous, she thought. All I do is cry these days. I don't think I've done so much weeping and wailing since I was a brand new baby.

“I know what I'm doing,” she said. “If Paul wants me to have the ring, he can come and tell me so. But he doesn't. I'm sure of that.”

Ernie shrugged, his duty done. “O.K., Sis, if that's the way you want it.”

That evening, however, Lynn found she could not sleep. She lay awake until very late, when she heard Ernie's footsteps in the hall. He was humming one of the popular dance tunes, one that centered around a girl's name, but, when she listened more closely, Lynn heard him singing, “Nancy—Nancy,” instead.

She got up softly and opened the door into the hall.

“Ern?”

“Oh, hi, Sis! What are you doing up?”

“I was in bed. I just heard you and thought—” She swallowed whatever pride she had. “Did you give Paul the envelope?”

“Yes. I saw him during one of the intermissions.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing,” Ernie said. “He didn't say anything. He just took it and put it in his pocket and walked away.”

“He didn't even open it?”

“He didn't have to,” Ernie told her. “He just kind of felt the shape of it and put it in his pocket. He knew what was in it.” He reached over and gave her shoulder an awkward pat. “Don't brood about it Sis. What's over is over. Go on back to bed and get some sleep.”

“O.K.,” Lynn said wearily. “Good night Ernie, and thank you.”

And strangely enough, when she went back to bed, she did sleep, more soundly than she had for a long time. It was a heavy sleep, and when she awoke the next morning, she saw by the bedroom clock that it was almost noon. She dragged herself to a sitting position, feeling more tired than she had when she went to bed.

There was a light rap at her door.

“Lynn, are you awake yet?” It was Dodie.

“Yes,” Lynn said dully, “what is it?”

‘Telephone.” Dodie opened the door and thrust in her head. “Don't look so eager. It's just Dirk. He wants you to go out with him tonight. He says he's been trying to get you all week.”

“Oh, dear!” Lynn said wearily. “I suppose I'll have to talk to him.”

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. The floor seemed very far away. She moved uncertainly toward the door.

Dodie was watching her, a worried expression on her face. “Lynn, is anything the matter? You look so funny.”

“Nothing's the matter,” Lynn said. “You know how heavy you feel when you've slept too long.”

She went into the hall. The telephone was off the hook, lying on the table. She picked it up.

“Hello, Dirk.”

“Hi! How about taking in a movie tonight? Brad's letting me use his car.”

“No,” Lynn said. “I'm sorry, Dirk. I can't.”

“What do you mean, you can't?”There was a funny note
in his voice. “I've been calling you for a couple of weeks now, and every time I ask you out, you can't go. What's the reason this time?”

“I—I—” No appropriate reason came to mind. Lynn leaned wearily against the wall, and suddenly it was too much trouble to go on making excuses any longer.

“It's not that I can't,” she said. “It's that I don't think I should. It wouldn't be fair, to you or to me.”

“Why wouldn't it be fair?” His voice was sharper. “What are you trying to say?”

“That I'm not in love with you,” Lynn said, “and that I never will be. I like you, Dirk, so much, and I'm so touched that you wanted me to have the necklace, but I should never have taken it and I can't keep it now. I hate hurting you, but I can't just lead you on and keep dating you and pretending there's a chance I might get to care, when really there isn't.”

Dirk was silent a moment. Then he said, “O.K., O.K., I get it. I should have known it would be like this, with you being from the Hill and all. But I let myself start thinking you were different, that it didn't matter to you about a guy's background. I was pretty dumb, wasn't I? Because you're just like all the rest of them—”

“Oh, Dirk, don't!” Lynn interrupted miserably. “That's not the way it is at all. It's Paul, that's all, just Paul. If you were from the Hill and Paul wasn't, it would still be Paul. I don't know why. You can't explain those things; they just happen. I like you, Dirk. I wish we could be friends.”

Lynn braced herself against the torrent of bitterness she was sure would come. She need not have.

When Dirk spoke again, it was quietly. “No,” he said. “No thanks, Princess, I don't think I want to be friends.”

There was a faint click as he hung up.

So it is over, Lynn thought, almost with relief. Dirk—Paul—everything, all over.

She turned back toward her room, and suddenly her legs doubled beneath her.

“Mother!” she cried, grabbing for the door handle for support. “Mother!”

“Something
is
the matter!” Dodie was beside her. “Here, lean on me and I'll get you over to the bed. Then I'll find Mother for you.”

Leaning heavily on her sister, Lynn stumbled forward into her bedroom. She tumbled onto the bed and pressed her face into the cool pillow. She could hear Dodie's voice ringing through the house.

“Mother! Mother, come quick! Something's the matter with Lynn!”

A moment later, Mrs. Chambers was beside the bed.

“What is it dear? What's wrong?” She laid her hand against Lynn's forehead. “Why, you're burning up with fever! You stay right here while I call your father at the office and have him come home and look at you.”

 

An hour later, after Dr. Chambers had come and gone, Lynn found herself still in bed. She'd had a shot of penicillin and several small bottles of pills were lined up on the nearby table.

“It's just flu,” her father had said. “It's been going around lately, and, to tell the truth, Daughter, you've been looking pretty run-down these past few weeks. After you're through with this siege, I'm going to start you in on some iron pills and vitamins.”

“She has been looking pale and tired,” Mrs. Chambers agreed. “I've been noticing it, too.” She gave her daughter's hand a gentle pat. “You just stay in bed a few days, and we'll get you back to normal again. Isn't it lucky we have a doctor in the family?”