Death Wish (43 page)

My pulsed pounded through my veins. Reading his journal had brought memories of Arys’s life to the surface, even the memories that I had buried deepest in my subconscious. I looked up from the last entry in Arys’s journal to study him.

He sat across from me on his favorite recliner. A sketchpad sat on his lap; with pencil in hand, he was immersed in his drawing.

I didn’t want to interrupt him with questions or comments on what I’d just read. His artistic flare had been just as surprising as everything else about Arys. Spending so much time at his house had allowed me to witness it for myself. I was content just to watch him work.

He was shirtless, clad in soft blue cotton pajama pants with his hair damp from a recent shower and an expression of deep concentration, Arys was a treat for the eyes. I strained to see what he was drawing but couldn’t make it out from where I sat on the couch.

“So you’ve finally finished reading that damn thing, huh?” He didn’t look up from his work, but a grin played about his lips. “I was starting to think you never would. I imagine you have something to say about it.”

“I do. I understand why you didn’t tell me about our connection sooner.” I stroked the old, yellowed pages of the journal, holding it protectively. “You hoped you’d find a way to change what you saw. If you did, I’d never have to know the truth. Too bad things didn’t work that way.”

Arys did look up then; wearing a pensive expression, his smile vanished. “Yes… too bad. That’s why I dragged you to Lena for answers. I was praying she would tell me something different, something to prove Alice wrong somehow. Instead she confirmed what I already knew, for the most part.”

Seeing the shadows in his eyes, I knew I could never tell Arys about the strange certainty I’d had in the past that I would die at his hand. Never.

“We can’t make assumptions. You saw one thing in that vision. There has to be more to it. Things change, and even if they don’t, there’s a reason for them. All we can do is take it a day at a time. We have a purpose, Arys. There is a reason for what lies ahead. Whatever that may be.”

Sure, I was afraid of what Alice had shown Arys, afraid because I felt it to be true. However, it was what came after that frightened me more. When I would rise as a vampire and become another insatiable menace of the night. That’s when the balance we shared would tip. That’s what Shya wanted.

“Right,” he sneered. “We just have to try not to destroy each other in the meantime. No big deal.”

I laughed, trying not to share his dark outlook. Someone had to keep things light. “So far so good. Lena and Alice knew things about us. They can’t be the only ones. Maybe there’s someone else, someone who can clarify things. There is so much we don’t know yet.”

“Perhaps it’s better that way.”

“All I know is that I’m ready for a few low key days of lying around, doing absolutely nothing. I just want to enjoy the here and now.” I set the journal aside and stretched languorously, hoping to change the subject. “I’d like to spend the next two days in bed.”

That brought back the sexy smile that lit a fire in my belly. Arys raised a dark brow and gave me a suggestive look. “Meet you there.”

I held his gaze for a moment, wondering if I could make it down the hall before him. I sprang off the couch and darted from the room. Arys was faster, springing ahead to block my path. I tried to playfully body check him out of my way, but he grabbed me around the waist and tugged me off balance. We both tumbled to the floor in a giggling heap.

A bit of rough wrestling on the carpet resulted in burns on my knees that were not nearly as fun to receive as one might think. I knocked him down and made as if to run away, when he caught my ankle and sent me sprawling. I laughed until I cried, needing the rejuvenation that came from a cleansing laugh.

When Arys was least expecting it, I shoved his head against the floor and bounded for the bedroom. This time he didn’t catch me. I was spread out in the middle of the bed when he appeared, shaking a finger at me.

“That was a cheap shot.” He rubbed the side of his head. “Nice one. Now get naked so I can ravish you.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I was eager for intimacy, seeking to escape the upsets of the past few days. Hell, the past several weeks even.

Slow and sensual, our lovemaking possessed a passion unlike anything we’d shared before. In search of freedom from the future that claimed us, we clung desperately to one another. We moved together with the natural grace of lovers entwined deep beyond the physical realm.

I held Arys close as he adorned my face in feverish kisses. Nothing was going to take him from me. I had lost so much, but I would not lose him. If finding our purpose meant fulfilling that vision in Alice’s mirror, then maybe I didn’t want to find it.

Guilt racked me at the thought. I couldn’t deny my purpose, whatever it was. It was a key component of my existence. As trapped as I felt right now, ultimately it would set me free. If I had the courage to see it through…

I ran my hands over Arys’s body, savoring every part of him, the way he felt, his invigorating scent and the taste of him as he claimed my lips. I found heaven in his arms, the only place I felt I belonged these days. Dying by Arys’s hand wouldn’t be so bad, not in comparison to the many horrible alternatives.

Hours later, I slipped from the bed with the intent to make coffee. Arys was restless, tossing fitfully in his sleep. I ran a hand through his hair, and he murmured my name but never woke.

Glancing around for something to throw on quickly, I spotted a folded black t-shirt on top of the dresser. No sooner had I grabbed it than the achingly familiar scent of Shaz wafted up to assault me. I slipped into the shirt, biting my lip against the tears that threatened. No way. No damn tears.

So, he’d left me something filled with his wonderful, masculine wolf scent. Nothing worth crying over. Yeah, right.

I busied myself making coffee. I couldn’t sleep, so I flipped through the local newspaper, browsing the real estate section. With mug in hand, I took the paper into the living room and settled on the couch. Arys’s fallen sketchpad caught my eye.

Curiosity coaxed me to pick it up. I turned it over to find a pencil sketch of myself. My breath caught and I sputtered coffee. Arys had finely depicted me with eyes lowered and a half smile. My hair blew in an invisible breeze. What shocked me though were the two precise fangs peeking from beneath my lip. Arys had drawn me as a vampire.

It was startling to see even as a simple sketch. Wolf fangs were bigger, vicious and had taken years to get used to. This was different. Foreign. I didn’t like it.

I dropped the sketchpad onto the seat of the recliner, staring at it dumbstruck. I adored Arys; I’d go to hell and back for that man. Judging by everything I knew about twin flames, I likely would. But, this was too much too soon. This was one horror that I wasn’t ready to face yet.

Epilogue

“Alexa, it’s beautiful. It’s so open and spacious. Oh, look at the skylight! This house is a dream.” Kylarai strode through the house gushing. I followed along smiling and nodding.

It was a gorgeous house, no doubt about that. A large spiral staircase greeted us upon stepping into the foyer. Every room was massive and state of the art in terms of architecture and appliances. The backyard had a small fenced off pool and an elaborate lawn with room for a flower garden. It was a dream, alright, Kylarai’s dream.

She had accompanied me on my home buying excursion. I had decided to sell Raoul’s property to someone willing to rebuild on it. My time there was over. I was starting anew.

Arys and I could not co-exist for much longer within his small bachelor-sized bungalow. Bonded didn’t mean we could stand to be in each other’s space twenty-four hours a day. We each needed our own space. I had to find a place that felt like it could become home.

I was also working on a small condo apartment purchase in the city. Stony Plain would always be my home, first and foremost, but having a backup pad in the city seemed like a necessity since I spent so much time there.

A year had passed before I’d touched the money Raoul had left me. I was using it now to start fresh: a new house, a new part of town and a new attitude. Kick ass or die. I planned on kicking ass.

“I don’t know, Ky. It looks a little too picket fence-y for me.” I shot a friendly smile toward the real estate agent lingering nearby, ready to offer me several reasons why the place was perfect.

“But, it’s so beautiful.” Ky’s grey eyes sparkled as she took in the enormous kitchen with a vaulted ceiling.

I snickered and nudged her. “It would definitely be a nice upgrade from that little house you have now.”

“Would you like to see the upstairs?” The realtor asked. “I’m sure you will find it just as impressive.”

I jumped in before Kylarai could force me up the stairs. “No, thank you. Could you show me something a little less high-maintenance? Preferably on the edge of town if possible.”

A few minutes later, we were following the real estate lady across town in Kylarai’s Escalade. I caught her sneaking covert sidelong glances my way. Her brow furrowed, and she fiddled with the radio.

“Go ahead and ask, Ky. I know you want to.”

Her face fell, and sympathy flooded her eyes. “I’m sorry. I suck at poker face. How are you doing? He’s been gone for two weeks now. It must be hard.”

“It is hard. It was hell those first few nights. I cried like a lovesick teenager.” I grinned, showing her I was fine. I wasn’t though. Not really. I missed Shaz so much it was all I could do to hold myself together. “It’s getting better though. I’m happy that Shaz is doing what’s best for himself. He needs to.”

“Ok, good.” Kylarai nodded a little too enthusiastically. “I’m glad to hear that. You know I’m always here if you need to talk.”

“I know.” I reached to pat her shoulder affectionately. “Thanks. I love you a lot, you know.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“Is it also mutual for Coby?” I teased.

Her cheeks grew pink, betraying her. “Why whatever do you mean?”

“Nice try, lady.”

Kylarai thought I didn’t know she’d been sneaking over to Shaz’s apartment to visit Coby. I was pretty sure Coby had been making himself comfortable at her place, too. Last I’d heard, Jez and Zoey were still getting cozy, as well. I was genuinely joyful for them. I wanted my friends to be happy and in love. Nothing else took the place of love.

We passed the golf course and took a left on the edge of town. I shook my head, not certain that I liked what I was seeing. It was mostly a stretch of farmland along the back road between Stony Plain and the neighboring community.

We passed a rickety old house on the same property as the old cemetery where I’d once killed a trespassing werewolf. Then we hung a right into a driveway lined with thick foliage. The cemetery was close, but a patch of trees so thick it was almost forest blocked the burial grounds from sight.

The house was of average size with two floors and an attached garage. On one side of the property lay the forest thatch and the cemetery; the other side opened onto a farmer’s field with more trees far off in the distance. A spark of hope flickered to life inside me. So far, the place had potential.

I eagerly followed the realtor inside. The house wasn’t nearly as large or fancy as the last one we’d viewed, but it had a cozy feel to it the other had been missing. The front door opened into a long hall. Directly to the right, a set of stairs wound around a corner, disappearing on the way to the basement. A few steps down the hall revealed a second staircase, which wound its way to the upper level. Continuing straight ahead, the hall led into a large kitchen and living room.

The kitchen wasn’t a chef’s dream, but it was complete with all appliances and island seating. A set of sliding doors led to the backyard, which I could see held a furnished patio and luscious green grass. Nothing fancy out there, but it had plenty of space.

The living room was on the small side, but the gas fireplace beneath the TV nook gave it a cozy feel. I flashed a smile at Kylarai who looked less than impressed. Following the real estate agent upstairs, I was overjoyed to find a large master bedroom with a Jacuzzi tub in the attached bathroom.

It was a three-bedroom house with a partially finished basement, a little more space than I needed, but I was sure I could utilize it. We walked around the property outside, and my interest continued to grow.

“I think I really like it,” I said, trying to judge the distance from the yard to the forest far beyond. It was a fair jaunt away, but a wolf could do it in a minute or two. The thatch of trees next to the house provided enough space to be wolf in my own backyard. The only house nearby was on the other side of the graveyard. Perfect.

“As you can see, the cemetery is hidden from view completely. It’s owned by the town, and they go to great lengths to ensure it’s well-kept and undisturbed by rambunctious teens.” The realtor continued her sales pitch though she already had me. “If you have any questions or concerns, I’d be happy to address them.”

“Thank you. I think I’d just like to take another walk around, if that’s ok.”

“By all means. I’ll give you a few moments to think it over.” She disappeared around the house to the front, leaving me to ponder what looked like a promising decision.