Death Wish (14 page)

“Do you have any idea who set the fire?”

He broke the silence. Our eyes met briefly in the mirror. He looked so haunted.

“A vampire. Nobody I know personally from the sounds of it. He must be working for someone else.” The simple act of Shaz running the brush through my hair was comforting. So much passed between us with that gesture. “I’m going to find out who it is.”

“You should get some sleep. You look tired.” Shaz finished with my hair and pressed a warm kiss to my forehead.

“Stay with me?” I was both hopeful and fearful.

“Of course. I’ll take Coby to my apartment and get him settled in. Then I’ll come right back. Promise.”

“Be careful,” I warned. “Just in case someone’s watching those close to me. There are some scary-ass daywalkers out there.”

He kissed me again, his lips soft on mine. I hated that it took a horrible event to chase us back into each other’s arms. “But none of them compare to you. I’ll be back before you know it.”

He left me in Arys’s room where I made a halfhearted attempt to find a change of clothing that belonged to me. I had to have a few items lying around. I gave up and settled on one of Arys’s t-shirts and some silk boxer shorts.

I was sitting on the side of the bed, staring into space, when Arys entered the room. We looked at one another for a minute before he began to pace alongside the bed. I wanted him to hold me, to grab me tight the way Shaz had. I knew why he didn’t. He was keeping up that front, the one I had abandoned in the shower when the tears had flowed. 

“Thank God you’re alright.” His voice broke, the one sign that steady, cool Arys was shaken.

“I guess I’m stuck here with you for a while.” I tried to lighten the mood. It was impossible. “Didn’t I have some clothes here?”

“I think so. Probably in the laundry room.”

“I guess I’ll have to go shopping. I’ll squeeze it into my schedule between finding the asshole that issued the hit and tearing their fucking head off.” I growled, unable to contain the rage that threatened to overwhelm me now that I’d cried myself out.

“It’s got to be someone you know. Someone who has a reason to want this. It could be just about anybody.” Arys mused as he moved about the room, turning off the bright overhead light and replacing it with the warm glow of the bedside lamp.

I climbed in amongst the mountain of pillows and blankets. As tired as I was, I couldn’t relax. “Should I be insulted by that? I’m going after them. Tonight. I’ll torture a name out of somebody.”

“I’m coming with you.” Arys slid into bed beside me still half dressed in silk lounge pants. He sat stiffly against the headboard, edgy and ready. I doubted he would sleep at all today.

When he finally touched me, he simply stroked a hand down the side of my face. A shuddery breath escaped me. In Arys’s touch, I found a deeper connection than I could fully comprehend. The direct contact was rejuvenating. Our energy danced, two entities that must always entangle into one.

A warm tingle spread through me, bringing with it a burst of power that reinforced my growing need for retribution. I captured Arys’s hand and slid my fingers between his. The power burned through us, low and steady. Strong.

“I’m not going to make the mistake of thinking this will be easy,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. The power surged in response. “But, I’d say it’s about time we show this city what we can do.”

Arys gazed deep into me with a deadly calm. A grim smile tugged at his lips. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Soon, Shaz returned. He stood in the doorway, watching me with an expression I couldn’t read. Arys vacated the bed, going so far as to leave the room. He understood better than we did how much we needed this brief reprieve from the issues in our relationship. How much we needed just to be together.

“Come on.” I patted the bed beside me and smiled. “Don’t leave me all alone in this giant bed.”

He hesitated for only a moment, pausing to strip off his socks, hoodie and t-shirt, before joining me. The wolf within reached out to him before the woman did. I found peace in the presence of his wolf. The wolves didn’t give a damn about vampire nightclubs, human mistakes or hitmen. They knew only the call of nature, the lure of the moon and the beauty of the night. That’s all our wolves wanted.

Shaz snuggled in close. Slipping his arms around my waist, he rested his head against mine. The silence was deafening. It was nice. If only my thoughts would quiet down.

I breathed deeply of his scent, savoring it. I focused on every detail from the warmth of his body against mine to the softness of his hair on the side of my face. We lay curled together the way we had so many times before.

But, things had changed. For one, we hadn’t made love in almost a month. The house where our friendship had formed had just been destroyed. I couldn’t help but wonder if that friendship was just one more part of us that we were bound to lose.

Arys was right. Shaz was part of me, the one who kept me grounded and sane. But, Shaz was also on his own journey, fighting his own battles.

“I miss you.”

My words burst forth on a wave of emotion. I turned my head so I could press my lips to his temple. I lingered there, feeling his pulse beat. The bloodlust lay silent inside me. Whether subdued by Arys’s presence or merely by the recent traumatic experience, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I was just happy to be free of it.

“I love you, Lex,” he whispered the words into my damp hair. “Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I know.” My voice was a low murmur like his. I was afraid to speak too loud and destroy the hush that had fallen over us. “Arys is right, Shaz. About you and I. We would have been together if he had died a human death. I fell for you before I ever met him.”

Shaz’s breath came hot against my cheek, followed by his lips. “He was already a part of you. You just didn’t know it yet.”

I turned my face so his lips met mine. Could he feel the slight tremble as I kissed him with everything I had? “So were you. And, you just don’t know it yet.”

No further words were necessary. His grip on me tightened possessively. I pulled the blankets up around us like a marshmallow cocoon and settled in for a few hours of fitful sleep.

The scent of coffee roused me just before sunset. I flung out a hand, seeking Shaz but finding only the empty expanse of bed beside me. I sat up, immediately awake. If I had dreamed, I had no memory of it.

The sound of voices reached me. Shaz and Arys spoke in low tones. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, pausing to listen.

“The only reason I haven’t killed her is because it would piss off Alexa,” Arys said. “She should have already done it. She spared the bitch. For you.”

“I know that,” Shaz replied, his tone calm and even. “You think I’m proud of myself for that? It means nothing, me and Bianca. She’s just… she’s nobody.”

So, the bitch had a name. Bianca. It brought a bitter taste to my mouth, and I hadn’t even said it aloud.

“What she is, is convenient. Just like Kale is for Alexa. You each seek to hide your weakness from one another when you should be seeking strength in what you share.” Arys was flippant, believing his words to be unarguable.

“You know, Arys, this belief you have that the three of us can live happily ever after… It’s such bullshit.” Shaz’s tone was sour. I could easily imagine the matching expression he likely wore.

Arys didn’t respond right away. I froze, perfectly still, waiting to hear him address Shaz’s valid claim. That thought had crossed my mind as well. There was no room for three in forever. But, choosing between them was something I’d selfishly refused to do. As long as we were all keeping silent on the harsh reality beneath the deceptive surface of our three-way tie, I wasn’t willing to be the one to speak first and break the illusion.

Now, Shaz had done it for me.

“She loves both of us,” Arys spoke softly, sounding lost in thought. “She needs us. You more so than you’re willing to believe.”

“She can’t be with both of us. Not in the long run. It will come down to you or me. Or possibly neither. Can you handle that? Do you even let yourself think about it? Or are you so lost in the fantasy of finally finding her that you’re blinded to reality?”

I bit my lip, unable to accept the words spilling from Shaz. I was expecting Arys to react with anger. He didn’t.

“Of course I’m not blind to reality,” he said solemnly. “I’ve been aware for a long time that you may be the one she chooses. You offer her security. I offer her pain. But, it’s too late for one or the other. She is joined to us both. If you can’t accept it, you’ll have to be the one to walk away.”

Shaz didn’t hesitate before he retorted, “Goddamn you’re a conceited bastard. I know Lex. She may love us both, but she knows how fucked up this all is. That’s why she runs to Kale. He’s her escape. From us. From being caught in the middle of something bigger than she is.”

“Settle down, pup. She has a purpose, and you are part of it. You both need to stop seeking with others what you should be finding with each other.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why isn’t it?”

That was my cue to announce my wakefulness. It didn’t take much for those two to go from chatty to snarky and aggressive. Better to stop that before it started.

I made my way down the hall, making noise as I went. They both looked up expectantly as I entered the kitchen. Shaz held out a steaming cup of coffee, which I gratefully accepted.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, gesturing to the soup and sandwiches on the table. What a lifesaver. He knew just as well as I did that Arys’s house was no place to find decent food.

“Surprisingly well, all things considered.” I sipped from the steaming cup, closing my eyes as I savored the caffeine making its way through my system. Such a simple joy.

I made short work of the coffee and sandwiches. I was ravenous and stuffed myself while ignoring the shocked look Arys wore.

“So,” he began when I had finished. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

I shrugged, glancing down at my lack of proper attire. “I don’t have much of a plan. Find something decent to wear. Go pound some information out of any vampire I can get my hands on. Somebody has to know something.”

“I washed your things. You don’t have much here. It’ll do for tonight.” Arys pointed toward the laundry room off the front porch. “I’ll come with you to hunt down some info. Shaz is going to The Wicked Kiss to see what he can find out there.”

I knew what that meant: Shaz was going to see if Bianca knew anything. I had already considered and then dismissed her as a suspect. She wasn’t behind the hit, but there was always a chance she knew who was. The thought of Shaz going right back to her didn’t sit well with me.

“I see. Well,” I fumbled for the right words, or even a good poker face, but came up short. “Ok then. I’m going to call Jez and Kale. Maybe they can help.”

I busied myself with the few clothing items I was fortunate enough to have left at Arys’s. Along with the sooty clothes I had left in the bathroom, I had a whole outfit. A pair of yoga pants, a black tank top and even a set of mismatched bra and panties would get me through until I could hit up a store for a few things.

Thankfully, I had started leaving a toothbrush at Arys’s house ages ago. As for makeup, it was meager. The black eyeliner and lip balm in my bag didn’t give me much to work with. Nothing was going to erase the stress from my features or hide the darkness in my eyes. I was hunting tonight. Pretty could wait.

When Shaz was leaving to check on Coby, I could barely bite my tongue. Knowing he was going to seek out Bianca tonight was driving my wolf into a frenzy. Or, maybe that was just me, the woman, the vampire and the wolf. Insanely jealous.

He left me with a tender kiss and the promise to touch base with me soon. I had several messages on my phone to return, including one from a panicked Kylarai. She was understandably upset about the fire. However, that made telling her about Coby go much smoother.

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” Her voice wavered. Her worry was heavy on the line. “What can I do to help?”

“Stay safe. And, maybe expect to have a few girls’ nights in the near future.”

“If you need me at your side, Lex, don’t hesitate to say so. I’m your beta. I mean it.”

I didn’t want to bring danger to Kylarai’s door by involving her. “I promise I will bring you into this if I need to. Until then, it’s safer for you to avoid catching the wrong person’s attention.”

It was hard to put Ky’s mind at ease. She was so used to looking out for us. She couldn’t protect me anymore. Not from Raoul when his deceit came back to haunt me nor from the vampires that wanted me dead now.

Arys was waiting near the door when I finished on the phone. My car keys dangled from his index finger. On the surface, he was completely composed and in control. His dilated pupils and excited energy indicated otherwise.

“How are you feeling?” He asked casually. What he really wanted to know was, if the bloodlust was rising, could I handle it?

“I’m fine.” I led the way out. A faint layer of soot covered the Charger. Otherwise, it looked fine. I went to the trunk, checking on the Dragon Claw; I kept the blade hidden in the spare tire compartment. Safe and sound.