Death on a Platter (30 page)

 

Amelia was thrilled when her mother flashed her engagement ring. Jane hugged her son-in-law to be and cried. Ted and Jane both give Amelia cooking lessons now.

Two weeks after his engagement, Ted was teaching Amelia how to make chicken cacciatore. “So how’s the dog-walking business, A?” he asked.

“I’ve got four customers and a Chihuahua on the waiting list,” Amelia said. “Mom says that’s enough for now. If I keep up my grades, I may be able to take him on, too.”

Amelia paused, then said, “My name is Amelia. I don’t go by A anymore.”

“That’s cool,” Ted said.

“I had to change it back. The kids at school were calling me Mel Gibson or A-Hole. I was named for Amelia Earhart. She has her own movie with Hilary Swank and Richard Gere. That’s amazing. So I want to be Amelia.”

“And so you are,” Ted said.

 

Ted made a deal with the mayor of River Bluff that he would bring the clinic’s van to do free spays and neutering for the town’s pets on a Saturday if Stuart Little would receive a medal for bravery. A TV station did a feature about Ted’s volunteer day in River Bluff. The free publicity got the St. Louis Mobo-Pet Clinic more paying customers.

The mayor of River Bluff presented Stuart Little his medal in a ceremony at City Hall. Ted made sure the shih tzu had been clipped and groomed for his appearance. Luckily, Stuart was honored on a slow news day. Jane attended the morning ceremony with Ted, Josie, and Amelia, who was allowed a half day off from school. That night, Jane watched her dog get his medal again at six and again at ten p.m. and taped the ceremony. Stuart wears the medal on his collar.

 

A third cousin inherited Gemma Lynn Rae’s estate. The woman closed the shop and sold the building and its contents at drastically reduced prices. Alyce found a Rose Point gravy boat. Josie bought the FRIENDSHIP, LOVE & TRUTH sampler for five dollars and the Royal Crown Cola sign that Ted liked for ten.

She plans to hang them in her new home, after she and Ted marry. They haven’t set a date yet, but Josie and Ted are looking for a house. The search is so intense, Josie even dreams about it. In some of the dreams, she and Ted and Amelia are barbecuing on their back deck, surrounded by frolicking cats and dogs.

In all the dreams, they are happy.

This is my chance to brag about my hometown, St. Louis. I challenge you to find a city east of California that is more interested in dining. It doesn’t matter if you love grease or granola, locally grown and organic, or offbeat and ethnic. You’ll find it in St. Louis.

That’s how Josie’s town describes itself. If you’re visiting the St. Louis area, Maplewood is worth a trip. If you already live in St. Louis, rediscover this inner-ring suburb with the old-fashioned downtown.

Josie buys beer from Schlafly Bottleworks. During the winter, Amelia and her grandmother shop for locally grown food and baked treats at the indoor Maplewood Farmers Market at Schlafly Bottleworks. About April, it becomes the outdoor farmers market, but it is still at Schlafly Bottleworks, located at 7260 Southwest Avenue or online at
www.schlafly.com
.

Vom Fass, where Alyce buys exotic oil, is another foodie attraction. The German-based franchise also ships its fruit, vinegars, and oils. They have unusual oils, like porcini, orange, or truffle. Visit the Maplewood store at 7314 Manchester Road or online at
www.vomfassusa.com
.

Goshen Coffee’s organic, locally roasted coffee is served at many St. Louis restaurants. You can also order it online at
www.goshencoffee.com
. Goshen Coffee is also sprinkled on some Kakao chocolate, but that’s another subject.

Putting chocolates on hotel pillows began when screen legend Cary Grant stayed at the Mayfair Hotel in St. Louis. The debonair Grant used chocolate to send a sweet message to a woman friend.

Is that story true? I sure hope so.

Lauren Bacall, another star, asked a
Vanity Fair
interviewer to open a box of Bissinger’s chocolate bark for her. Bacall confessed that she’s gotten free chocolate from the St. Louis chocolatier ever since she said, “Bissinger’s is the best chocolate” onstage when she toured the city in the Broadway musical
Applause
in 1971. I like Bissinger’s chocolate-covered raspberries, but I’ve never gotten freebies from them or any other business mentioned in these shopping tips. Visit them at
www.bissingers.com
.

Merb’s Candies is another venerable city chocolate shop. St. Louisans crave Merb’s chocolate-covered strawberries in the spring and monster Bionic Caramel Apples in the fall. You can buy those treats at the three Merb’s locations, some St. Louis supermarkets, and online at
www.merbscandies.com
.

Lake Forest Confections has been tempting St. Louisans with molasses puffs, chocolate-covered lollipops, and pastries for generations. They are online at
www.lakeforestconfections.com
.

Lindsay’s Chocolate Café and Coffee House has the best chocolate chip cookie in the Midwest according to
Midwest Living
magazine. Lindsay’s Chocolate Café is at 1120 Technology Drive in suburban O’Fallon and online at
www.lindsayschocolatecafeandcoffeehouse.com
.

There’s German chocolate, Dutch chocolate, and Belgian chocolate. Is there St. Louis chocolate? St. Louisan Brian Pelletier at Kakao Chocolate says no. “We’re all so different. Bissinger’s, Merb’s, and Lake Forest have their own traditional approaches and familiar flavors.”

Brian sees these trends in St. Louis chocolate lovers: Customers want “all-natural ingredients. We don’t use any artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives,” he says. “Our truffles and caramels use real cream and we give them a shelf life of three weeks at room temperature.”

St. Louisans also like “local ingredients. We use local honey, lavender, fruit, coffee, and locally blended tea in our confections. We buy a lot of inclusions from Vom Fass down the street in Maplewood (liqueurs, flavored oils, and vinegars) and use Schlafly beer, too. Our customers enjoy a lot of unique flavors in our creations—honey, balsamic vinegar, Earl Grey tea, smoked tea, absinthe, stout.”

Kakao has two St. Louis area shops, one in Josie’s Maplewood and the other in South St. Louis. You can also visit their Web site,
www.kakaochocolate.com
.

Are you drooling for St. Louis chocolate? I’ve barely taken a bite out of the subject. If you choose to order some online, be aware that many candy makers do not ship chocolate during the hot weather months.

Winslow’s Home, a restaurant and general store at 7213 Delmar Blvd. caters to locavores. Much of the food is grown at Winslow’s Farm, in Augusta, Missouri, about forty miles from St. Louis. Winslow’s has offbeat items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. At breakfast, it might be a quiche with duck confit, mushrooms, and brie. Dinner could be trout baked in parchment paper. The espresso bar is open all day and the pastries are baked at the restaurant. Visit their Web site:
www.winslowshome.com
.

Toasted ravioli is actually breaded fried ravioli, dipped in marina sauce and sprinkled with grated cheese. In the Midwest, toasted ravioli is often stuffed with beef or veal, although inventive cooks use fillings ranging from artichokes to cheese. Several restaurants on the Hill in St. Louis claim to have invented toasted ravioli. “T-ravs” may have come from Sicily.

Ask a dozen St. Louisans their favorite place for toasted ravioli, and you’ll get twelve different answers. Here are a few local recommendations: Cunetto House of Pasta (
www.cunetto.com
) and Talayna’s (
www.talaynas.net
). A pub with the fine old Italian name of Mc-Gurk’s (
www.mcgurks.com
) has spinach-and-artichoke toasted ravioli in a garlicky butter sauce. Zia’s serves toasted seafood ravioli as well as the traditional ravioli Josie sampled. It sells sauces, salad dressings, and other items at their online store:
www.zias.com
.

Many restaurants get their toasted ravs from Mama Toscano’s store on the Hill. Mama’s handmade raviolis have been featured in major magazines and on Mario Batali’s Food Network show. Mama ships her ravioli, which you can order from
www.mamatoscano.com
.

Gooey butter cake supposedly started as a mistake, but no one knows which baker created this delicious deviation. Best guess is that it happened during the Depression, when a cake was overloaded with butter or sugar, or both. The bungling baker doused it with drifts of powdered sugar and the confection sold. Boy, did it sell.

Now there are endless artery-clogging versions of gooey butter cake, including cherry, pineapple, brownie, and chocolate chip.

For years, it was believed that only St. Louisans loved this caloric miscalculation. Then Gooey Louie started shipping its wickedly sinful creations all over the country.
Martha Stewart Living
drooled (genteelly) over those cakes. Gooey Louie was featured on
Road Trips for Foodies
.

Gooey Louie has about a dozen flavors, from key lime to “Hog Wyld.” That’s gooey butter with bacon. When a major St. Louis traffic artery was clogged by construction, Gooey Louie soothed frustrations sweetly with “Hwy 40: Driving Me Nuts.” The roadwork is over, but the flavor survives. Gooey Louie has two St. Louis locations. For more information, go to
www.gooeylouiecake.com
.

Now some traditional St. Louis bakeries ship their gooey butter cakes, including Lubeley’s Bakery & Deli, located at 7815 Watson Road and
www.lubeleysbakery.com
.

If you’re in St. Louis, stop by one of these bakeries: Helfer’s Pastries, 380 St. Ferdinand Street, Florissant, and
www.helferspastries.com
; Federhofer’s Bakery, 9005 Gravois Road, and
www.federhofersbakery.com
. Josie gets her gooey butter cake at Jessie Pearl’s Pound Cakes, Etc., in the heart of Maplewood, at 7322 Manchester Road. They can be reached at (314) 776-3051.

St. Louis pizza pie, that is. St. Louis thin crust pizza may be baked round, but it’s cut into squares the size of Post-it notes. Traditional wedges cannot support the many ingredients piled on that thin crust.

A thin crust is a hallmark of St. Louis pizzas. They’re also heavy on oregano. But the true sign of St. Louis pizza is Provel cheese, a sort of Italian Velveeta. Provel is a processed cheese, a fusion of provolone, Swiss, and cheddar rarely found outside the city.

St. Louis pizza is a city comfort food. Outsiders are often puzzled why the locals love it, though some visitors develop a taste for it. On my trips back from St. Louis, I pack a couple of frozen half-baked St. Louis pizzas in my checked luggage. The pizzas arrive safely, but it takes about a week to air the pepperoni perfume out of my suits.

I’m addicted to Imo’s Pizza, which has outlets all over the city. Imo’s ships pizzas, if you crave this taste of St. Louis (
www.imospizza.com
).

Elicia’s Pizza (
www.elicias.com
) is another popular local chain.

Even the mighty Domino’s Pizza made a thin crust pizza for St. Louisans, topped with Domino’s pizza cheese and a provolone mix that insiders say tastes like Provel. Those in the dough claim Domino’s brought in a team to study Imo’s pizza. The popular chain supposedly bought precooked thin crusts from Imo’s supplier until Domino’s produced a St. Louis-style thin crust pizza. That pizza was so successful, it went nationwide as Domino’s Crunchy Thin pizza.

Many local restaurants serve St. Louis–style pizza made with Provel. One exception is Pi Pizzeria. In fact, their waiters wear shirts with the classic red slash and circle banning Provel. Pi served pizzas to Barack Obama when he was on the campaign trail. Pi’s Chris Sommers and Ryan Mangiarlardo, were invited to the White House to make the president more pizzas. Sommers concocted the Hyde Park with chicken and hot sauce. George Clooney and the cast of
Up in the Air
reportedly ate Pi pizza when they filmed the movie in St. Louis. Find out more at
www.restaurantpi.com
.

Deep-fat fried brain sandwiches are a St. Louis specialty from a time when city people ate every possible part of a cow. Traditionally, they’re served with fries, beer, and plenty of ketchup. Brain sandwiches have become a dying art. Ferguson’s Pub is one of the few bars that still serve this local delicacy. If you’re not brave enough to chomp a brain, Ferguson’s has fried chicken and toasted ravioli. This neighborhood pub is at 2925 Mount Pleasant Street in South St. Louis, (314) 351-1466.

Dining at the best barbecue joints does not mean eating in upscale splendor. You don’t want to get sauce on your sequins. Some of these neighborhoods may scare sheltered suburbanites like Alyce. True ’cue lovers assemble a pack of friends and slather themselves in sauce.

The
Economist
, a magazine that expects readers to know Joseph Schumpeter was an Austrian economist, decreed that St. Louis’s “unique contribution to barbecue is the snoot sandwich.” When this high-class magazine sticks its nose into barbecue, you know it’s important. Once I got past the idea of eating pig ears and snoots, I liked them. Crunchy snoots and ears make one sloppy sandwich.

Big-time African-American celebrities as well as local folks of all colors love the pig ears and snoots at C & K Barbecue Restaurant, 4390 Jennings Station Road, St. Louis, (314) 385-8100. C & K used to be a gas station. Now it pumps out first-rate barbecue. The ribs, rib tips, chicken, and pulled pork are good, too.

Smoki O’s, 1545 North Broadway, is tucked away in an industrial neighborhood in the north St. Louis Riverfront. It serves ears, snoots, pulled pork, and rib tips, which are supposed to be meatier and juicier than standard ribs. You can buy sauce, meat, rub, and other items online at
www.smokios.com
.