Death of the Mad Hatter (28 page)

C
HAPTER
F
IFTY-
O
NE

(
Alice Mae: Present Time in Wonderland)

I wasn
’t necessarily surprised when I woke up the next morning to garbage being flung onto my bed (with me still in it). Zola Maude held the trashcan like it was a gun. Chez circled her feet, smiling as I pushed the sludge off me and crawled out of bed. As I gathered the pieces of rubbish, Zola Maude lectured me on the importance of
not
sticking a queen’s neck with a jack—a stolen jack at that.

“
The Joker wants all of his toys back,” Zola Maude had said, eyeing my collection.

She had banished me to the kitchen for
additional cleaning. With a toothbrush in hand, I scrubbed the interior of the oven. Burnt candy had caked onto the sides for years. Even though I was deep in elbow grease, cleaning the oven was a much easier punishment than any the Joker had ever given me. Scraping off the grub was almost relaxing… if Vida Maude hadn’t insisted on supervising.

“
Hearts should have ordered us to return you to Wonderland!” Vida Maude screamed for the umpteenth time. “You should be thanking her for not receiving a harsher chastisement!”

“
Shall I write her a letter?” I muttered, under my breath.

After that comment
she tacked on cleaning all the bathrooms in the house, including Chez’s litter box. “You’re lucky you have someone to make you sweets so you don’t lose your mind, but I promise you that I’ll stop giving them to you if the queen requests it.”

“
Nice to see where your loyalties lie,” I said and then looked up at my aunt. It’d been years since I’d gotten the strength to look up at either of them. “You know Hearts is a bitter, old hag. Yet, you are still loyal to her, even when you know she killed the king.”

“
She did no such thing!” Vida Maude protested. “And, if you had any common sense, you’d be thanking your dear sweet aunts for bailing you out every time you got into trouble!”

“
Bailing me out?” I said, in disbelief. “When M.H was beheaded, you agreed for the Joker to—”

“
Torture is still a better punishment than death!”

“
That, my dear, sweet aunt, depends on who you ask. Death would have been sweeter than any of the candy I’ve eaten.”

C
HAPTER
F
IFTY-
T
WO

(
Alice Mae: Present Time)

Forty eight pieces of candy
devoured, and I haven’t even made it to my locker. If I were diabetic, I would be in danger of going into a coma by now, but my nerves were going bonkers, and I was seeing creatures that rarely came out in Wonderland. I popped a stick of raspberry gum in my mouth and hoped to stop seeing things that weren’t really there.

Never in my wildest dreams did I consider the possibility that I could fall for
the boy with the girl’s name
. Why couldn’t Ryley have bacne, chronic case of nose bleeds, genetic baldness, or uncontrollable gingivitis? Oh no, he had to be perfect in every way. And, that body… Nuff said. It was all I could do to convince my knees not to weaken at the sight of him. Forming coherent words when he spoke my name was dang near impossible. Perhaps if his frontal lobe was a teensy weensy smaller, I might have been able to convince myself that he wasn’t so intellectually stimulating. But, he was
stimulating,
in more ways than one; there was no denying that; no matter how badly I tried to hate him.

But I didn’t hate him—that was the problem.

I never wanted to fall in love, ever. And, then Ryley changed that. I couldn’t imagine falling in love, but now that I had, it was painful not to be
his girl,
much less just stand back and watch as he flirted with one of the sophomore girls that Mick had introduced him to.

Plus, I still had to figure out a way to keep him from accepting Hearts
’ false offer—not that he’d believe anything I said now. But, I owed him. I had to get him to listen.

It was a difficult thought to process when he had the girl pinned against the wall
. She blinked up at him with her overrated brown eyes. I hoped her false eyelashes fell out in her lunch. She giggled and walked her fingers up his shirt. Seriously! What did guys see in her? I was sure that she was a snotty, little—

“
Sucks to be old news, doesn’t it?” Courtney said, in passing.

A legitimate comeback failed to come out. So instead I spit out my gum and flicked it in her hair
when her back was turned. I didn’t even try to hide my smile when it tangled into her hair. I wondered how long it’d take her to notice. I bet it would be on the first hair flip.

I popped another candy on my tongue
, and focused on the grape flavor instead of how Ryley’s hand came dangerously close to the girl he had pinned against the locker. I closed my eyes and tried to forget the library date—my first date.

“
Well, at least I know he was lying when he said he loved me,” I said, talking to myself since no one else had befriended me since I’d transferred to this school.

“
Ryley said that he loved you?” Dax leaned against a locker. He appeared comfortable, like he’d been watching me for a while. “He actually said the words
I love you
?”

I looked at my feet, hoping to buy time
in order to figure out how to respond. “He regrets it now.”

Dax rolled his eyes.
“Duh, he regrets it now! He’s literally been a nomad for years, bouncing from town to town when anyone got too close to him or when things got rough. What did you think was going to happen when he finally admitted that he liked you?”

I shrugged my shoulders. There was a limited amount of knowledge I could
impart to Dax that wouldn’t get me a psych assessment if he told anyone with authority. “I made a horribly bad decision at his expense.”

“
I thought you had Ryley figured out, Alice Mae. I figured you for a pro, not the type that would sit around and pout because a guy didn’t call you back.”

“
You don’t understand, Dax. I did something bad—unforgivably bad. I don’t blame him for being mad.”

“
If he can still swing a bat and ace a test, there wasn’t anything that you could have done that was so unforgivable.” Dax walked up to me and nudged my shoulder. “Ryley likes the chase, but you stopped running. He’d follow you to the end of the world, Alice Mae. Ryley isn’t the type of guy who cares how much money he has in his bank account or what car he drives. Heck, he still bums around in his dad’s old POS. He wants adventure and a lifetime of memories to carry him through old age. Besides, I’ve seen how he looks at you, and that look isn’t in his eyes right now.”

I
nodded to Ryley and the girl. It sure looked like he’d forgotten about me. They were practically making out in the hallway!

“
He’s looking for a distraction,” Dax said, after the girl pulled out her cell phone to enter the digits Ryley had to be giving her. “Do you love him?”

“
Love is one of the many feelings I have for him,” I said as jealousy raged in my heart.

C
HAPTER
F
IFTY-
T
HREE

(
Ryley: Present Time)

Distractions.
I needed all the distractions I could get. It’d been a few weeks since I discovered that Alice Mae wasn’t actually playing hard to get. She acted like she didn’t want me to go to Wonderland, just to make me want it more. And then, it turns out I have royal blood raging through my veins. Hearts didn’t want to kill me. She offered me the throne. Maybe the paranoia that the candy was supposed to offset wasn’t working as well as Alice Mae hoped.

The worst thing about the whole ordeal was that I couldn
’t get her out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. And, just when I thought I was finally getting over her, I’d find another of her many notes in my locker. I tried not to read them… the last one was her ranting that Hearts still wanted to off me. Yeah, right.

She
was why I was chit chatting with the brown-eyed girl in the hall. I think her name was Jessica, or Jenny? It didn’t matter. As I rattled off my phone number, J-girl put it in her phone. I hoped that she’d call me so I wouldn’t have to spend another weekend pacing around my room thinking about
her.
I glanced over my shoulder to see if Alice Mae was still staring at me. 

She was still
chomping on her gum, but she wasn’t alone. My would-be best friend was chatting with her. I turned my attention back to the J-girl. I was just telling her that I would be a lucky guy if she called soon, when Alice Mae walked up to her and grabbed J-girl’s phone, like it was socially acceptable to go through someone else’s stuff.

“
Hey! That’s mine!” J-girl said. “Give it back!”

Alice Mae deleted my number and then tossed it back.
“Trust me, darling. You don’t want Ryley’s number. He gave me herpes.”

My mouth d
ropped. Looking back, I suppose it was the best reaction I could have had. J-girl looked from Alice Mae and then to me.

“
You’re lying,” J-girl said.

“
Am I? Then ask Ryley for his number again, I dare you,” Alice Mae said, and walked away like she didn’t care one way or another.

I quickly rattled off my phone number to J-girl and swore on my
uncle’s grave that I didn’t have
any
STD’s. I raced up to Alice Mae. I didn’t grab her arm to stop her like I wanted to. There were so freaking many things I wanted to do to this girl! Touching, especially in anger, would be detrimental.

“
So, I don’t text you back or reply to your notes, so you are going to start rumors about me and ruin my reputation,” I scoffed. “Should I start calling you Becky?”

“
If you’d just listen to me, and be remotely unbiased, then I’ll leave you alone to do whatever you want.”

I stopped walking. I wasn
’t going to encourage her behavior. She was doing it again—tricking me into talking to her. “The great thing about starting a nasty rumor about me having
The Herp
means you have it too.”

By the second period, everyone in school thought that Alice Mae and I had nasty Uglies. By the third period, I
might
have started a rumor that she used to be three hundred pounds. She had her stretch-marks lasered off. The rumor retaliation was in full swing by fourth period. I heard one that I
had
been recruited by a D-1 college, but it fell through because of my steroid problem. After hearing that little number slip, I mentioned (to Becky, The Gossip Queen) that Alice Mae had been born with a tail.
 

By the time the lunch ladies got their serve on, e
veryone considered me a leper.
No one wanted to sit beside me, not even Dax. But, that might have had something to do with him betraying me by talking to Alice Mae before first bell. I think he felt guilty, or knew that I’d seen him, and would want to have a little chat about loyalties.

I spotted Alice Mae. She sat in the corner by herself—surprise, surprise. I slammed my tray down beside hers and
chomped away on my food, hoping she’d be disgusted by my loud eating. When she made no move and hadn’t reacted, I glared at her. Like always, her hair and makeup were pristine, but her nails were past mutilation. The nail beds were downright bloody.

“
I know I messed up,” Alice Mae said, looking in the opposite direction. “I’m not asking you to take me back. I don’t even blame you for getting all PMS-y, but it is imperative that you hear what I have to say.”

“
Says the lying liar.”

“
You don’t get it, do you? Hearts offered you the throne so you’d be tempted to come back to Wonderland… where she’d kill you. The throne was just bait.”

Got it.
If I returned to Wonderland, my hopes of ruling the cockamamie place will be smashed with a guillotine. But, I didn’t care.
I didn’t want the throne or anything that came with it. Living in Wonderland wasn’t realistic. Deep down, I’d rather follow in my dad’s footsteps and become a professor, teaching theoretical physics. This world made sense. Wonderland didn’t.

“
If Hearts wanted me dead, I would be. I was sitting in a snake chair. One bite and I’d die from their venom.”

Alice Mae was with me until
I made the snake comment. Then, her eyes dilated. She popped in another candy. Whatever I’d said distracted her. “Snake venom, I wonder if M.H. ever thought about using that as a poison to kill the queen. Maybe Genevine can find a way… I’ll send Mr. Ruth…”

I snapped my fingers in front of her face.
Just keep staying mad at her—otherwise those ridiculous feelings of affection will come pouring back
.

“
You’re paranoid, Alice Mae. Hearts wasn’t out to get you—or me—or anyone. She’s just a lonely, old woman whose husband died.”

Alice Mae dug into her pocket and pulled out a playing card, a price tag, and a crumple
d piece of paper.

“
I’m not paranoid, Ryley. I believe the Jack wrote these three prophecies about us. Everything set into motion when the king was beheaded… A girl will choose Wrong. Time will stop.” She took a deep breath and said, “And, a HATed fool will die twice.”

A strong-Willed child shall set the time-stalemate into motion, but only if a
tWo-eyed hare can lure her to the Wonderful World of Wonderland. She Will be given a choice to live Wondrously forever or be banished to Weep in her homeland. Seconds Will tick forWard and backWards until her decision no longer Wavers. HoWever, she Will choose Wrong.

“Mr. Ruth only has one eye,” I pointed out.

“He had both when he lured me to Wonderland
the first time. The Joker didn’t poke out his eye until much later,” she said, and pointed to the
Bleeding Hearts Prophecy
.

The Jack
prophesied:
If the King loses his head, then the Queen with a bleeding Heart would rule the Red Court until Time ceased to move forward. When a second carried on for infinity, every creature in Wonderland would tip their Hat to the misfit
girl with a boy’s name (or was it a boy with a Girl’s name?) who’d end the Reign of Terror. However, it all hinged on the One-Eyed Hare being able to convince an uninspirable Heir that the impossible was indeed possible—like stopping time—and that insane Love was worth a Beheading.

“Falling in love with you was like stumbling down a rabbit hole and
seeing a magical world. Whereas, your betrayal was like tripping on a guillotine.” I said. “I fell for you, and it
wasn’t
worth a beheading.”

“I hope the Hare can change your mind,” she said
, and slid the last prophecy in front of me.

The
HATed fool will die twice before the MADness stops.
“Hat and mad are capitalized. I think it was a reference to the Mad Hatter,” she said. “And I think you are the second Mad Hatter.”

“
You still think the Jack saw into the future?” I asked, still not buying what Alice Mae was putting down. “Because if this is true, I’m a man who can defy death.”

“
The Joker predicted that the hated fool would die
twice.
So I don’t hold much clout in that word. He isn’t as talented in his fortune telling as his great-great grandfather, and he sometimes gets predictions wrong. But you should still be cautious.”

I crossed my arms.
“You’re doing it again. You’re playing with my curiosity to get me to do what you want.”

“
I am.”

That was it!
I grabbed my tray, stood up, and walked away. I made it as far as the garbage cans before Alice Mae grabbed my arm. I hated that her touch set my skin ablaze and garbled my thoughts so that I could only think of her, feel her, want her. I desperately needed more space between us.

“
I use manipulation because of the effectiveness.” She let go of my arm. “But, I was wrong, so wrong to deliver you to Hearts with the assumption that she’d whack you. I should have known my imagination was getting the best of me. I probably wasn’t eating enough candy and paranoia snuck up on me. Just please promise me you won’t go back there.”

Alice Mae looked defeated—crushed
, more like it. The weight of her words seemed more important than their face value. I could tell without asking that if she returned to Wonderland, something very horrible would happen to her.

“
You should go back to Wonderland, Alice Mae. You belong in that upside-down place, not me.”

I regretted the words
as soon as they came out of my mouth. But, Alice Mae knew I fell in love with her, and she’d use it to get what she wanted. I just didn’t know what she wanted now.

“So you won’t go back to Wonderland
if I’m there?” Her eyes were filled with tears. One trickled down her cheek. Her lips pressed into a thin line. She held her breath, waiting for my answer.

“I’m not going to promise that,” I said. “There is still something I need from that world. And if I have to tell the queen I’ll be her Heir to get it, I will.”

“You want the recipe book,” she said. “If I can get you the book, will you stay in this world, forever?”

“Yes.”