Death of the Mad Hatter (10 page)

C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN

(
Alice Mae: Second visit to Wonderland)

My second visit to Wonderland was a bit more productive than the first. Once again, the white rabbit was eating in my garden
like it was a veggie buffet. He munched on the lettuce like it was his personal salad until he saw me. I was tempted to hit it over the head with a shovel, but M.H. had mentioned that the white rabbit had chosen me. Chosen me—for what I hadn’t a clue, but I figured the animal wouldn’t appreciate me clubbing it over the head with my garden tool. So instead, I followed it down the rabbit hole…

I descended through a dirty porthole, landing hard on my bottom in the
Waiting Room,
as I came to call it. The
Waiting Room
was the aphotic, round chamber between the Otherworld and Wonderland. Aside from my muddy footprints, the floor was polished, checkered tile and the walls were made of granite. Honeysuckle vines crept in from a wooden mouse door that the white rabbit had run through. A ceramic figurine of a frog guarded the door. Sewn on its tiny jacket were the initials R.E and a symbol of a spade. A table made completely of glass was in the center of the room. When I say glass table, it would more accurately be described as an ice sculpture of a mermaid holding a tray. On the tray was a small glass bottle with the words
Drink Me
etched on it.

“So, M.H. created this,” I said, inspecting the bottle. On the back side of it was a crest. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it bef
ore. The Mad Hatter’s initials were etched on the bottle as well.

I drank the potion
. Today it tasted like maple syrup and cotton candy. The ground came up at me like I was on an invisible roller-coaster. When my insides had settled down, I walked over to the frog which was now the same height as me (or me the same height as it?) I had shrunk to the size of small critters. I knocked on its head. The ceramic frog burped up a skeleton key made for the mouse door.

I shoved the key through the door and crawled into the Wonderful World of Wonderland. I expected there to be a cupcake with the words
Eat Me
on the other side of the door, or at the very least the aggravated caterpillar with the hookah. However, the Wonderland that I walked into the first time was not a vast forest like it was before, but rather a well-manicured lawn with a gigantic mushroom house. M.H. was there dressed to the nines, flaunting a new pair of gold rimmed goggles. He held a tiny flowered dress and tea pot. The designs on the dress matched the pattern on the teapot exactly

“
Genevine insisted that you would have the perfect camouflaging clothes for today’s events,” he said, lowering the tea pot and dress to the ground. “Get inside and change quickly.”

“
You’re kidding me.”

“
I have a tea time with Hearts. The queen, more than any other Wonderlander, whispers the best kept secrets. But we must hurry if those whispers are to occur. Hearts is quite unsympathetic for tardy goers, and we are to meet at high tea.”

I climbed up the handle and peered into the spout.
“What happens when someone pours hot water in here?” I asked, not loving the idea of eavesdropping via tea pot.

“
The Queen of Hearts
never
drinks from someone else’s china, and she
only
drinks after someone else has sampled the brew. She’s quite certain that someone is out to poison her and has every right to be suspicious. My candy operation is just a cover for my… anti-antidotes.”

“
You make poisons to kill people?”

“
Money is in the ones that only take one sip to…” he said, and then made the movement of slitting his throat. “Ever since Eddie Edgar’s
unfortunate accident
, there is a market for the ones that only make you ill too, but those aren’t going to make me rich. I need one that will kill with a single drop.”

“
Eddie Edgar? He wouldn’t by chance be brother to a Robby Edgar?” I asked, sliding to the bottom of the pot.

Handing me the matching dress, M.H. nodded.
“You catch on quick. The white rabbit chose well. You were always a top candidate since your folks live far-far away and you live with your
wondrous
aunts. It is of miraculous happenstance that you are the same age as Robby’s son. So, it made you quite the candidate indeed.”

“
Robby’s son?” I said.

“
He goes by Ryley. Although with such a strong upbringing, I thought Robby would have chosen a manlier name, less universal. The name Ryley can be both ways—boy or girl,” M.H. stopped to ponder that idea a bit further. “Maybe Robby chose the name to keep the queen from knowing too much about his child.”

Sitting cross-legged in the bottom of the teapot was where I heard the Queen of Hearts’ voice for the first time. The demeanor in which she spoke made it evident that she thought highly of herself.

“
I’ve heard rumors that a girl from the Otherworld was spotted in my court,” Hearts said. “Can you imagine? An
Otherworlder
in my court without my knowledge!”

M.H. gasped.
“Surely not your court!”

“
I was appalled as well. I was hoping that you knew some information about the girl. I’m told she goes by the name of Al—silly name for a girl. Such a silly name, that I could be convinced to put the girl out of her misery.”

“
’Hall ‘ai prepare t’the gilly?” a man with a rough voice asked. He spoke as if his tongue had been cut out.

“
Yes, Jack,” M.H. said. “Or at the very least, see if the Joker has his weapons prepared.”

Carefully, I climbed up the spout of the
teapot to get a closer look to whom M.H. was speaking. Standing next to a red-haired woman, wearing a golden crown and pushing a racecar, was the oldest butler known to man. Gray hair stuck out of his ears, yet not a single hair was on the top of his head. He raised his bushy eyebrows, which seemed to help him see. His beady black eyes looked like they belonged to a bird rather than a person. To say he had a few crow’s feet was an understatement. He wore a red and black uniform. The colors were so faded and worn it looked like he’d put on the uniform sometime during his late twenties and didn’t bother to take it off—ever. He looked like he could be my great-great grandfather. He walked like a great-great grandfather. I would have timed how long it took for him to leave the room if I had a watch. I was guessing close to a full minute.

Watching the old man leave, Hearts smiled. It appeared
pleasant, until I noticed her pointy teeth. As I studied them, they turned back normal only to turn pointy again. A crimson line outlined the green in her eyes.

She asked,
“Dare I say that your sources slipped up on the gender of this trespassing Otherworlder?”

I wanted to smack myself, for I just caught on to why M.H. had given me the dreadful nickname. It was to keep me protected! This way
, the queen didn’t know if I was a boy or a girl! If it kept me from getting well acquainted with the guillotine, then I’d gladly go by Al. I was beginning to like the abbreviation more and more.

“
Fine, then I’ll put the word out that I’m looking for a… child
named Al. I don’t very much care if it is a boy or girl; I just want the Otherworlder out of my court!”
Hearts said, and mumbled a string of words I hadn’t heard before.
“Every creature in Wonderland would tip their Hat to the misfit
girl with a boy’s name (or was it a boy with a Girl’s name?) who’d end the Reign of Terror.”

“
Quoting the
Bleeding Heart Prophecy
?” M.H. said. “Are you worried, my queen?”

“I must take everything with precaution,” she said
, and pushed the racecar off the side of the table. “After the Joker informed me of this Al character, he then advised me to close all of the rabbit holes.”

“
The Joker does foresee the potential future, just like the Jack,” M.H. said. “If he advised you to do something, I would recommend you to heed it.”

“
I assume that Robert had a child by now, even if I can’t pinpoint where in the Otherworld he and Lauren live,” Hearts said, still in deep thought. “The Joker’s spell to track, manipulate and control, that he cast on Robert’s car only works if the person holding the racecar replica is close to the original vehicle. And Robert has been staying far, far away from here.”

“If he stays far away from Wonderland, what is the problem?”

“He tarnished my good name!” Hearts exclaimed. “Banishment was not a fitting punishment. Misery is what he deserves. So I’ve changed strategies. I’m asking you as a dear friend, M.H, to convince the white rabbit and his rumperbabbit friends to dig several holes.”

“But that would go against
the Jack’s advice,” M.H. said. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“
Isn’t it obvious? Wait for the child named Al or Roberts’s son to fall down a hole.” The queen laughed, growing louder and louder as the seconds trickled by. “I’ll tell the Joker to get his sharp toys ready because we are going to kill the
Bleeding Heart Prophecy
before time stops.”

C
HAPTER
F
IFTEEN

(
Ryley: Present Time)

I
Googled Wonderland. One small town in Arkansas showed up on the search engine as well as a few places in the United Kingdom. Few places in the world still practiced the art of beheading
.
A family conspiracy was the only answer I could fathom. Alice Mae and the Maude sisters
had
to be jerking me around.

“
Well, if Alice Mae was from another dimension, it would explain her accent,” I said and looked up at Mr. Ruth who was perched on the kitchen table. Until I conducted amateur background checks on the Liddell family via the World Wide Web, he was under close surveillance. Why was the innocent looking stuffed animal under observation? Because when I returned home from the gas station, my mom’s ceramic frog was gone. It vanished.

I
glanced at the wristwatch my old man had given me. It was a quarter to four, and I still hadn’t figured out what Courtney
and I were going to do for our date. I mean, I knew what I
wanted
to do with Courtney—kiss and not stop until I ran out of air. But, I couldn’t get a particular blue shade of lipstick out of my head…

“
Is this stuffed rabbit giving you any good advice?” my mom asked, walking into the kitchen.

“
He’s not much of a helper.”

“
Rumperbabbits usually aren’t.”

“Did you just call
rabbits rumperbabbits?”

Mom blushed. “It was just something your father used to say.
He used made-up words often and sometimes spoke in riddles. He kept little secrets, but that was a long time ago. What’s troubling you?”

Mom
sounded like Alice Mae. I shook her from my mind for the nine hundredth time that hour. “I have a date with Courtney, and I haven’t a clue of what I’m going to do.”

Sitting down beside me
, she said, “The standard dinner and a movie is a failsafe.”

I pushed my phone toward her so she could see the screen. The night showcase
was on it. “A solid line up of chick-flicks, and I want this date to be unforgettable.”

“
Your father used to take me to the movies all the time.”

“
Your point?” I asked, and then winced at my insensitivity.

My mom took her time to respond. Usually
, I kept my personal opinion of my dad buried deep, but sometimes it showed its ugly face—at my mom’s expense. Times like this I wished there was a rewind button to life so I could take back what I had said.

“
Robby wasn’t all bad you know.”

“
So why did he insist that we move towns so often?”

“
You know Robby was diagnosed with paranoia, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t brilliant.”

“
So we moved all over the country because he
once
was a smart man and you followed his lead?” I took my mom’s hand and gave it an extra squeeze. “He’s not the man you married, Mom. Dad isn’t there anymore.”

“
Ryley, he asked me to relocate often to keep you hidden.”

“
From who? The boogie monster?”

H
er stern expression stopped me from saying anything more regrettable. “He asked that of me
before
you were born, Ryley. It wasn’t a request made after his mind broke. Someone wanted revenge, and your father had it in his head that they were going to take you away—far, far away from us.”

“
Why?”

“
He said that I was forbidden to know. Years later, right before he was institutionalized, he rambled on about beheadings and prophecies. It was one of the few promises he asked of me, and I wasn’t going to let him down—no matter what.”