Death of a Bacon Heiress (17 page)

The other night I showed up at my brother Randy's, bar with my yummy Skillet Bacon Mac & Cheese because his husband, Sergio, was working late wrapping up a couple of big cases and I didn't want Randy skipping dinner. It was also an excuse to get one of Randy's signature Blackberry Moonshine Cocktails, which I was sure my grateful brother would offer on the house.

As we sat at the bar chowing down on the mac and cheese and sipping our cocktails, a childhood friend of ours, Jeff Pryor, sauntered into the bar to grab a beer, so we waved him over to join us since we hadn't seen him in a while. We all began to catch up on what was going on in each of our lives. Most of you probably know that Jeff owns a sightseeing cruise boat that takes visitors around Mount Desert Island and the outer islands where they can take in the rocky, beautiful coast as well as look at seabirds, seals, and some of the lavish summer homes of the rich and famous.

He also offered a sunset cocktail cruise that is a favorite among many folks, myself included.

I know, I know, you're not surprised.

As we were chatting away, a young off-duty summer park ranger strolled in and took a seat at the bar to enjoy a cold beer before heading home, presumably after a long day at work.

I noticed a young couple sitting next to us at the bar with a stack of brochures from the park headquarters in Hulls Cove. The woman got excited upon seeing the young park ranger and stood up and marched over to him, ignoring her husband's pleas to sit back down. She then tapped the ranger on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, may I ask you a question? My husband has been no help whatsoever,” she said, tossing him a disgusted look over her shoulder.

“Of course,” the ranger said, smiling. “What's your question?”

“At what age does a deer become a moose? We haven't been able to find the answer in any of the brochures.”

Randy spit out his Blackberry Moonshine Cocktail while Jeff and I both fought hard not to erupt in a fit of giggles.

The park ranger patiently explained that deer do not become moose. They stayed deer. The woman began arguing with the poor ranger and declared that he didn't know anything because she had seen a picture of a grown moose next to its baby deer with her own eyes. The ranger stood his ground. Moose are
not
grown-up deer. So with a huff, the woman spun around and grabbed her embarrassed husband and marched right out of the bar.

The second they were gone we all broke out into hysterical laughter.

When we finally calmed down, Jeff began to tell us some of the questions he gets on his various boat cruises.

We chuckled at this one.

Now we were laughing.

Randy was practically choking after that one, and I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

Now we were rolling.

After just leaving the dock on the boat, one tourist actually looked back at where they had launched only moments before and asked,
“What town is that?”

My sides hurt from laughing so hard.

But the one question that really got us going and caused me to fall on the floor laughing in hysterics was one Jeff got last summer. He would always take pictures of each couple or group on the boat, and told them that after the tour they could pick their pictures up in the gift shop at the dock if they would like theirs to keep.

This led one passenger to ask him with a straight face,
“How will we know which one is ours?”

As anyone around here knows, summers can be very long and somewhat trying on the patience at times, especially in a busy tourist town such as ours.

So remember to try to take some time and relax, and just have some fun by getting together with friends for a fun dinner in or out. But certainly don't forget to add a great cocktail or two. You'll end up having a wonderful time and the summer won't be so stressful.

This week I'll get your party started with my Skillet Bacon Mac & Cheese recipe and Randy's Blackberry Moonshine Cocktail.

 

 

 

Ingredients
1 pound box shell macaroni (or your favorite)
1 teaspoon dry mustard
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper (or less if you don't like a touch of heat)
2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup grated Gruyère cheese
1 cup, plus ½ cup grated cheddar cheese
1¼ cups milk
1½ cups panko bread crumbs
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
6 slices cooked crispy bacon; reserve ¼ bacon grease
Salt and pepper to taste

 

Roux Sauce Ingredients
¼ cup butter
¼ cup flour
3 cups milk

First make the Roux Sauce. In a large cast iron skillet over medium-low heat (any large oven-safe skillet), melt the butter, whisk in the flour, stirring constantly until a paste is formed and bubbles a bit, about 2 minutes. Add the milk a little at a time, whisking constantly until the sauce thickens, and remove from heat.

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta until almost al dente, but do not fully cook; drain and set aside.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Put Roux Sauce back on low heat and stir in mustard and cayenne. Gradually add the cheeses while stirring constantly until all the cheese has melted. Add the additional milk, salt, and pepper to taste.

Add the cooked pasta and cooked crumbled bacon to the Roux Sauce in the large skillet.

In a bowl mix together the panko bread crumbs, chopped parsley, and reserved bacon grease, and top the mac and cheese, sprinkling evenly. If you desire, sprinkle a little more grated cheese on top of bread crumbs.

Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until top is browned and pasta is bubbly.

 

 

 

Ingredients
2 ounces blackberry-flavored moon-shine
1 ounce fresh lemon juice
Splash of seltzer water
6 blueberries
2 strawberries
2 blackberries

 

In a shaker pour the moonshine, lemon and add half the fruit and muddle together. Strain into an ice-filled cocktail glass and top with a splash of seltzer and garnish with the leftover fruit. This is definitely a great way to start a party!