Death Defying (Dark Desires) (21 page)

Chapter Twenty

El Cazador
was a mess. Tannis had seen the battered hull all scarred by laser blasts as they’d docked the smaller ship. Rico would have hated that.

What was left of the crew were gathered together on the bridge. It looked like there had been a firefight in here as well. But if the ship was a mess then the crew was no better.

On the surface, Skylar looked in the best shape, but her figure was tense, every muscle tight. Jon had shifted back into human form. He paced the bridge as though unable to stay in one place, and his eyes glowed feral. Daisy sat in Janey’s old chair, her emerald eyes bloodshot from weeping.

Tannis put her hands on her hips and stared at them all. “I leave my goddamn ship for five minutes and this is what you do to it.”

A smile flickered across Skylar’s face but didn’t reach as far as her eyes. Tannis looked at her closely and realized she must be holding herself together by willpower alone.

“Rico’s dead,” Tannis said. She was pretty sure Skylar already knew, but she needed to get the words out in the open.

“I know.” Skylar’s voice was without expression. “The Church contacted us. They seem to believe that if we know he’s dead, then that will be it.”

“It won’t,” Tannis promised. “So, what happened?”

“They were already waiting at the rendezvous point. Almost as if they knew we were coming.”

“They did,” Tannis said. “Venna told them.”

“Fucking bitch. I’ll kill her.”

“Too late. She’s dead. We left her on that planet we blew up.”

“Good. Anyway, we nearly managed to fight our way out,” Skylar continued, “but there were just too many of them. In the end, they boarded us. They managed to capture Daisy and Janey, and it was all over.”

“They made us try and comm you, but there was no answer, so I tried Callum.” She looked at Tannis. “We don’t blame you.”

“Jesus,” Tannis muttered. “You should.”

“You couldn’t know what would happen. Besides, you needed to go on, you had no choice once you were on the planet. You had to get the treatment or…” She studied Tannis, stared into her eyes. “Or you’re dead. Holy Meridian, you did get the treatment?”

“Do I look like I got the goddamn treatment?” Tannis growled. “We were going to—we were nearly at the site when you contacted Callum. We went on anyway—so don’t start thinking I’m some goddamn hero. Then Janey… I couldn’t risk Jon as well, and there was no time.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Tell me what happened.”

“They told us they would execute one of us if you didn’t comply and then another every thirty minutes after that. When you didn’t immediately respond they picked Janey, said she’d be first. I don’t think any of us believed they would really do it. I don’t know why. It seemed unreal.”

“Why Janey?” Janey would have been the last person she would have thought they would pick. Not that anyone else would have been better, but she couldn’t understand it. She would have thought Daisy—she was a GM—but maybe the Church didn’t think she was worthwhile. Or one of the men. If they’d planned to kill Rico, why not pick him? Janey had been so bright and beautiful.

“I don’t know. But they did it so suddenly. They made her go down on her knees in front of us all. She was so brave, but you could see the terror in her eyes.”

Tannis almost swayed at the tidal wave of guilt that washed over her. This was her fault. She had let this happen.

“It was quick—a shot to the back of the head. The high priest did it himself. He enjoyed it—you could see it in his eyes.”

“And the Trog?”

“He went crazy, absolutely wild. They couldn’t hold him. In the end he broke free, leaped for the priest, and the guards shot him as well.”

“Where was Rico?”

“He was unconscious. They’d given him something. Maybe they thought he was too dangerous, or maybe he was dead even then.”

“No, they’d have to do more than that.” Rico had told her once—a stake through the heart, decapitation, or burning and scattering the ashes. But she thought it probably wasn’t wise to go into those sorts of details with Skylar right now.

“And Jon was cuffed,” Skylar continued. “But they had a gun to Alex’s head, he wasn’t moving.”

“Is Alex okay?”

“She was when we left. At least she was alive. When they picked Jon as the next to die, she lost it. I was sure she would shift and they’d kill her, but she managed to stay human. When we didn’t hear from you…” Skylar closed her eyes. “Well, Jon was cool, but he was about the only one.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” Skylar snapped. “They held us until you sent the comm showing the planet on fire, and then they let us go. Except Rico and Alex. I didn’t want to leave, but the others were a mess. They’d knocked Jon out as well by then. I had to get them away, and I thought there would be time. I never thought they would kill him straightaway.”

“They probably knew we’d come after him.”

Skylar blinked and huge tears welled up, intensifying the deep purple of her eyes. “The others, they were falling apart, I had to hold them together. Now you’re here, and I need…” She shook her head. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

She whirled around and ran from the room. Tannis made to follow, but Callum stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Let her go,” he said. “She’s hurting, and there’s nothing you can do. Nothing anyone can do. Only time will help her now, and she has plenty of that.”

“And getting Alex back.”

Jon paused his pacing and came to stand in front of her. He appeared truly scary, his eyes half wolf, and she had to make herself stand her ground. “We’ll get her back.”

“And kill that priest,” Daisy said.

Tannis turned to look at her. She’d never known Daisy want to hurt anyone, now she looked fierce. Tannis nodded. “And kill the priest.”

Exhaustion tugged at her and she swayed. She peered over her shoulder and saw Callum’s worried frown quickly wiped clean. She couldn’t get ill yet; it was too soon. She’d thought she might have years. That’s what they’d told her at the research station. Two years of slow death.

“How long do I have?” she asked Callum.

He shook his head.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know—it’s different with each person.” He held her gaze, and she saw the sadness in his eyes. “But I’m guessing not long.”

“What’s going on?” Jon asked.

“I didn’t get the treatment and I’m poisoned and I’m dying.” There was no point in circling around this.

It was ironic. Now when she would have gladly allowed Rico to turn her into a sex-craved monster, he was gone. If only she’d done it earlier. But earlier it hadn’t seemed an option, and now it was too late.

Callum studied Jon speculatively. “You saved Alex when she was dying. Could you do the same for Tannis?”

She looked at him sharply. It hadn’t even occurred to her, and a little flame of hope burst to light inside her. She thought she’d accepted the fact of her death, but now she realized that was an illusion—she didn’t want to die. She glanced at Callum and saw her excitement reflected in his eyes.

But Jon shook his head. “I’m sorry. It doesn’t work with GMs. They always go insane, and they always die. At least this way you keep your sanity.”

Callum wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. Tannis shoved down the despair, she needed to be able to concentrate. They had to make a plan to free Alex. Time to think about dying later. Or not dying. There was one more chance, however remote. If only she could hang on long enough.

“Do we know where they are now?” she asked.

“We’re pretty sure they headed back to Trakis Four.”

“Shit, that’s not good news.” Trakis Four was the Church’s main headquarters. It would be almost impossible to get in there and out again with Alex.

“It’s not that bad,” Callum said. “Their forces must be pretty thinly spread right now. I’ve been in contact with the colonel. They’re still under siege on Trakis Five. That must be taking up most of their ships and men.”

“Maybe. I still don’t see how we can get in and out.”

“We need some sort of distraction,” Jon said.

“Yes, but what?”

She pulled out of Callum’s hold and paced the bridge, trying to get her head around what they could do. On their own, it was a suicide mission, and no way were any more of her crew going down. Could she somehow go in herself—after all, it hardly mattered if she died at this point. Though she didn’t want to die now, she wanted to spend what little time she had left with Callum and with her friends.

“Shit. There has to be a way.”

“Captain?” She swung around as Daisy spoke. “There’s a comm coming through,” she continued. “Do you want me to open the link?”

“Who’s it from?”

“Devlin.”

Crap. She was going to have to tell him his brother was dead. How he would react, she could only imagine. But even as her mind balked at facing him, the thought occurred to her that he could help. He’d want revenge for his brother’s death as much as they did, and the Rebels could provide the perfect distraction. She just hoped they weren’t too far away.

“Put him on,” she told Daisy.

“Devlin,” she said.

“I know about Tris.”

His words took her by surprise. She hadn’t expected them, and for a moment, she was silent.

“I’m sorry, Devlin. He died trying to protect Janey.” She frowned. “But how did you know?”

“The Church—the bastards. He’s been on their most-wanted list since the bombing. They sent out a comm announcing they had caught and executed him. Showed a fucking goddamn picture of his body.”

Tannis glanced up as Skylar entered the bridge. Her face was pale, and she had a pair of Rico’s dark glasses perched on her nose, but she appeared composed.

“They must have identified him after we left,” Skylar said as she came to stand beside her. “They certainly didn’t while we were there, but they wouldn’t let us take his body, and besides we had our hands full with Jon.”

“What happened?” Devlin asked. “How did they get hold of him?”

“They ambushed
El
Cazado
r. Rico and Janey are dead as well, and they have Alex.”

“What?” She could hear the shock clear in his voice. “What are you doing about it?”

“We’re going to rescue Alex, and then we’re going to kill the people responsible.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I want in.”

Chapter Twenty-one

Callum had thought she’d hurt him that day she’d poisoned him. But the pain was nothing to what he felt now.

He’d gotten used to being in control. Now he was faced with something he had absolutely no control over, and he was breaking up inside. She was so brave. Her dream had been to live forever, and now she was dying. How could she go on as though nothing had happened? She was discussing the “plan” with Skylar, tossing ideas back and forth. What did it matter to her whether they rescued Alex or not when she wouldn’t be around? And they couldn’t save Alex anyway. This was a suicide mission. They would all die.

They might as well have continued on Trakis Seven and got Tannis the treatment. At least she would have lived. But she’d chosen these people instead over a chance of forever with him.

And now. Now, there was one last remote possibility. So remote that he didn’t even dare talk to her about it. But the longer they put it off the remoter the chance of them succeeding. And they were wasting time.

Anger built up inside him, and he allowed it to rise because it was better than the pain.

“Callum?”

At Tannis’s softly spoken question, he looked up. Everyone was watching him with expressions varying from alarm to understanding. “What?” he snarled.

“Chill out, you’re scaring people. I know you’re hurting—”

“How the hell do you know that?” he growled. “You’re not a fucking mind reader, remember? You gave up the chance of that.”

She bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“You seem to be saying that a lot lately.”

Anger flashed in her yellow eyes, the irises narrowing to mere slits of black. She stepped up close to him and poked a finger in his chest. “Yeah, and you know what—it’s true—I am fucking sorry. I’m sorry that Janey and the Trog are dead. I’m sorry the goddamn Church killed Rico because that would have really pissed him off. I’m sorry that they still have Alex, and I’m really sorry that I’m dying.” She poked him again, harder this time, and he winced. “And now, I have to be sorry for you as well, because for once you’re not getting what you want. I bet that really hurts.”

As her words sank in, he saw himself for the first time as she must see him. They were all hurting, and all he could think of was how this affected him. Why would Tannis want to spend eternity with such a selfish bastard? A wave of pain washed away the anger and left him drained and empty. He looked from Tannis to Jon and Skylar and Daisy. He expected to see anger in their faces at his selfishness, but all he saw was understanding.

Pain squeezed his heart in a vise, and he spun on his heels and stalked from the bridge. Tannis was behind him, but he kept on going, until she came up beside him and slipped her hand in his. They walked in silence, and he didn’t notice where they were going until she pulled him to a halt outside her cabin. She released her hold on him and he felt bereft. He’d better get used to it.

Tannis pressed her palm to the panel and ushered him inside where he stood, hands shoved in his pockets. He didn’t want to talk. He was scared of what would come out.

A maelstrom of emotions churned inside him. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. And I’m not sure I can take this. It hurts.”

“You’re becoming human.”

“What?”

“Rico told me that once. He said you might be kidding yourself that you were changing, becoming something else, but it was actually the human part of you that was causing the problems.”

“Problems?”

“You’ve closed yourself off for so long. I bet you’ve even convinced yourself that you’re turning into some sort of alien so the rules of being human don’t really apply to you anymore. But they do.”

He knew she was speaking the truth. He’d been fooling himself. Whenever he had to make a difficult decision, something his conscience whispered was wrong, he’d tell himself it was the Meridian, not him. He wasn’t responsible. He’d been a coward as well as a fool.

The knowledge of her coming death was eating into his soul. If he still had one. If he’d ever had one, for that matter. Maybe this was God making him pay for all his sins. But why should Tannis pay as well?

“Look,” she said. “I’m tired. I just want to rest for a while.”

She didn’t want him here. Why should she? He must be a constant reminder of what she had lost. “I’ll go.”

“No.” The word was torn from her, and she reached out and laid her hand on his arm. “Please stay. I don’t want to be alone. Just stay with me. Hold me. Forget for a while that I’m dying and just be with me.”

“I don’t think I can.”

She frowned, irritation flicking across her face. “Well, just freaking pretend!”

He curved his lips into the semblance of a smile. “Let’s go to bed.”

He undressed her slowly, picked her up, and laid her gently between the sheets, before stripping off his own clothes and sliding in beside her. The lights dimmed and he rolled onto his side and pulled her close to him, wrapped his arms around her.

“We’re two great humans, aren’t we?” he murmured into her hair.

Tannis raised her head and stared at him so he could see the glow of her eyes in the dark. “Yes, we are,” she said fiercely. “Being human is as much about how you behave as what you are. It’s looking out for the people you love.” She bit her lip. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Anything.”

A grin flashed across her face. “Don’t be so quick. After I’m gone, will you look after them? Just for a while.
El Cazador
will need a captain. I’m thinking maybe Skylar would like the job in the end, but she’s a mess right now. And Jon is no better. If we don’t get Alex back, I’m scared he’ll revert to the way he was.”

“We’ll get her back.”

“I know you’ll return to your old life, but just keep an eye on them until they’re over this.”

“I promise. Now sleep.”

He closed his eyes, sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep—he rarely slept these days. But as he lay in the darkness, listening to her slow steady breathing, he drifted into sleep.

He woke in the darkness. For a moment, he thought her gone and panic clutched his heart, threatened to suck him under. Then he felt her soft lips moving over his body, her warm mouth engulfing him. They made love as though it might be the last time ever.

…

When he woke again, he was alone. This time he didn’t panic. He’d gone over what she’d said, and he was determined that if she was going to die, it would be knowing that Alex and what was left of the crew was safe.

He didn’t know how, but he could forget the wallowing in self-pity, at least for the present. The future would be soon enough for that.

Colonel?

For a moment, he thought he would get no answer.

Callum? We thought you might be dead.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He’d kept very quiet since Trakis Seven was destroyed, partly because he was totally pissed off with the Council and their part in the destruction of the planet, but also because if the Council believed there was a possibility he was dead, then they might free the colonel. It was well known where the colonel’s loyalties lay.
Well I’m not.

I’m glad.

So am I. What’s happening over there?

I’m still being treated as suspect, but they’ve eased up since Seven was destroyed. I get the distinct impression that this is all part of some plan. They don’t appear to have made any effort to break the siege, and there’s something else. Your new stealth ship is missing.

The Endeavor
?

That’s the one. I would have expected her to be here trying to break the siege. But she’s not around. I think maybe the Council aren’t as stupid as they seem.

Callum thought for a moment.
Hmm—get the Church to destroy Trakis Seven so they get the blame for eliminating the only source of Meridian. Then they destroy the Church, and it looks like self-defense.

How could he use this?
So what’s their next move? Where is
The Endeavor
?

I don’t know, and I doubt they’ll tell me. But if it were me planning this, then I’d be on my way to Trakis Four. Destroy the Church’s base. Then return and break the siege when they’re leaderless and in chaos.

It did make sense, but Callum needed confirmation, before he passed the information on to Tannis. He didn’t see yet how they could use this. But if
The Endeavor
planned on destroying the Church’s base on Trakis Four, maybe that could provide the distraction they needed to allow them to slip in, get Alex, and kill that bastard Hatcher.

On the other hand,
The Endeavor
could succeed before they got there and Alex would be blown to bits with the rest of the Church. He needed some idea of the time frame.

Thanks, Colonel. Let me know if you find out anything else.

Callum?

Yes?

I know you went to Trakis Seven. Did you find anything?

Yeah, I found something. And if I get out of this, I’ll tell you.

He closed off the link.

Tyler?
He met with some resistance and pushed harder.
TYLER!

Callum.

I want to come back in. Can you send a ship to pick me up?

You’ve given up on the crazy hunt?

Well, there’s not much point in going on now the Church have destroyed the planet.

No, that was a tragedy. Look, Callum, I know you wanted to discover the truth, but maybe some things are best not known.

Callum gritted his teeth, then forced his face to relax, so his emotions wouldn’t come through the link.
You’re right. I know that now. Besides, if there had been anything to find on Trakis Seven no doubt we would have found it already.

I’m glad you’re being sensible.

Yeah, he was being sensible, and if he ever got out of this, he was going after Tyler and the rest of his weasely Council.
So when and where?

Where are you now?

Callum gave his coordinates and waited while Tyler looked them up.

You can get a ride on
The Endeavor
. She has a small job to do over in that area, but she can pick you up before heading home.

A little job?

Just a cleanup. We’re going after the Church’s Headquarters on Trakis Four. We have to be seen to retaliate. But I’ll inform Captain Harris that he’s to rendezvous with you afterward.

That was no good. Afterward would be too late. He needed to find a way to stop the ship or somehow use the attack to their benefit.
Okay. But make it before they reach Trakis Four. I want to see
The Endeavor
in action, and I want to see that piece of shit Hatcher blown to bits.

No problem. If you set your course to intercept, I’ll tell him to expect you.

Good. You seem to have everything in hand. I’ll see you soon.

He closed off the link and sat on the edge of the bed, thinking for a minute. Then he closed his eyes. If he went to a certain place in his mind, he could sense the other members of the Collective. All of them were there. He just had to sift through the individual minds and find the one he wanted. He found Captain Harris easily, but didn’t make contact. He needed to talk to Tannis first.

…

He found her in the galley with the rest of the crew. They all looked marginally better—he guessed that came from at least having a purpose. He grabbed a coffee and sat down next to Tannis, then leaned in and kissed her lips.

“I just found out that the Collective have sent
The Endeavor
to destroy the Church’s headquarters on Trakis Four.

“
The Endeavor?
Wasn’t that the prototype stealth ship we ran into after we picked you up?”

“That’s the one. So we need to either find a way to stop it before it blows Alex to pieces. Or we need to find a way we can use it as a distraction to slip in and get her out. Though there is the danger with that option that we’ll all get blown to pieces in the crossfire.”

“No,” Tannis said. “We don’t need to do either of those things.”

“We don’t?” Callum looked into her face. She was fizzing with the old energy and purpose.

“No. What we need to do, is steal her.”