Dear Diary (The Exchange #1) (4 page)
Read Dear Diary (The Exchange #1) Online
Authors: M. B. Feeney
I asked him what his beef was with Tyler, but he flat out refused to tell me, saying it was in the past and needed to stay there. I respected that and didn't bring it up again. I like him too much to lose his friendship just because it pissed him off over something that happened before I got there.
The day before I left we went for a drive. We didn't go anywhere in particular, but it was nice simply being able to spend time with him. We pulled into some roadside diner place for food. Aiden sat next to me in the booth and held my hand. He told me he was going to miss me and asked if we could keep in touch. I got so emotional I couldn't help but cry at how nice he was being. He wrapped his arms around me and I had never felt so warm, and wanted.
Do boys even talk like this? Aiden sure does, and I found myself wanting to help him feel like that.
On the way back home, he held my hand the whole time, reassuring me that we would always be friends. He even started talking about him coming to the UK to visit. The idea of him doing that for me made me smile. I could just imagine my friends’ faces when they saw him. Most wouldn't see past the glasses and the serious expression he showed the rest of the world, like I hadn't at first, but a couple of them . . . I dunno. Maybe none of them would be able to get past the geek, would never understand why he is such a great guy. It made me realise how shallow my friends and I are, well, how I used to be.
It's time to board and head back home.
Hx
~DD~
June 2012
Dear Diary,
I never thought I'd hate being at home. I can't stop wishing I was still in the U.S. with Beth and Aiden. I've spoken to them almost every night since I've gotten back, but it just isn't the same. I love my parents, but they don't seem to realise I've changed, they’re still treating me as if I were a kid. I'm surprised they let me go in the first place.
My first Saturday back was the first that I didn't want to go out for ages. My friends were worried about me, but dragged me out anyway in the hope that I would enjoy myself. I hated every minute of it.
Everything that we did or said, reminded me of back in the States. The food was different, the atmosphere, even everyone’s accents were hard to get used to. I didn’t want to be there.
I want to be back with Aiden and Beth. I can put up with Tyler, just about, if it means going there again.
The first chance I got, I told them I wasn't feeling well and went home. I hate feeling as if I no longer belong at home; feel out of the loop with my friends. This was unexpected, a side effect of the amazing time I’d had in America.
I can tell Mum and Dad are worried about me. I didn't tell them anything about my time in the States, other than to say I'd enjoyed it and had made friends. I just want to go back, I really do. I feel like I left a bit of me behind.
Hx
~DD~
June 2012
Dear Diary,
My mum keeps telling me that I will readjust to being back home, but almost two weeks later, I still feel the same. There's a sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away. I usually wait until the middle of the night, and then speak with Beth on Skype. I always end up crying and I hate myself for it. She's the only one who knows everything that happened between me and both King boys. She never judges me, though; just supports and keeps me up to date with how they are, especially Aiden.
The two of them have become good friends, best friends even, which I am so happy about. He needs someone to talk to, to help him have a life away from studying. I can only manage to speak to him once or twice a week and then we speak for hours, but I miss just being near him.
My friends here have started giving up on me. They never ask me to go out anymore. I'm so over the whole 'go out to get trashed and pick up a random guy' weekends that they seem to live for. I'm sure they think I'm crazy, but they don't know how alive I felt in the states. Yeah, cliche, but it's true.
And no matter what I do, I can't shift the nauseousness that I've been feeling the last couple of days.
Hx
Chapter Ten
June 2012
Dear Diary,
The sick feeling still hasn't gone away. It's been about a week now. I just constantly feel like I'm going to throw up and I've tried everything I can think of to stop it—dry biscuits, no dairy, everything, but it doesn't go away. I'm thinking about trying to get in to see the doctor. Maybe I'm just homesick, which sounds ridiculous because officially, I AM home.
I know I’ve said it before, but I can't help but feel that I left a part of me behind in the U.S. when I left. In only six weeks I felt so relaxed and accepted without question. Maybe it's because I was like a novelty or something, but apart from the whole Tyler thing, I felt like I belonged there. Nothing here feels right anymore.
I got chatted up at the bus stop the other day, but rather than be flattered (or possibly grossed out), all I could do was compare him to Aiden—and then I cried. I think I really scared the bloke. I really want to see Aiden again, and not only on a computer screen. I want him to wrap his strong arms around me and tell me I am being crazy.
I'm going to have a sleep. I feel like crap and I’m starting to get weepy again.
Hx
~DD~
June 2012
Dear Diary,
Well, Mum made me go to the doctor today. I've been feeling rotten for nearly two weeks now. They did a load of blood tests. Anyone would think I had some kind of tropical disease by the amount of blood they took out of my arm. I should have the results in a couple of days. Mum said it's probably something like anaemia. She had it when she was about my age and said she constantly felt like crap until they put her on iron supplements for a couple of months.
Bethany said I look awful (yeah, thanks) when I spoke to her last night. She, of course, looks wonderful. She and Chad are still going strong . . . and she thinks he's going to propose soon. I told her she was being crazy. They’re too young, but I guess nothing would surprise me anymore.
I kind of hope he does, because, despite being young, I have never seen a couple more perfect for each other in all my life. I made her promise to have a long engagement to give me enough time to save up money to get over there and be her maid of honour.
I admit I got a bit weepy (again) while I was talking to her. I felt like a fool, but she managed to calm me down. I think I'm going to try and move out there when I finish at college. Maybe apply for the University over there. I doubt Mum and Dad will go for it, but I reckon I can convince them it'll be the best all round. Not quite sure how, but I’ll work it out.
I kind of wish I'd never gone out there in the first place.
Hx
~DD~
June 2012
Dear Diary,
I mentioned to Mum and Dad about me moving to the U.S. to study, and they were actually all for it. I think they realise it will make me really happy. They are going to work out money and stuff like that, as I doubt I'll get a scholarship. They're going to research all that, too.
I am so happy, I sent off an email to Beth and Aiden telling them about it, gotta go, doctor’s appointment.
Hx
~DD~
June 2012
Dear Diary,
I. Am. Fucking. Pregnant.
Hx
Epilogue:
August 2017
Dear Diary,
So much happened since my last entry. I can’t believe it was almost five years ago that I thought the bottom had fallen out of my world.
I have to admit, reading about my time on that trip has been weird. Seventeen-year-old me was a bit of an idiot, but that idiot has shaped me into the woman I am today.
I want to be able to say that it was all plain sailing after finding out I was pregnant, but it wasn’t. Mum and Dad totally flipped out at first, as I sat on the sofa crying my heart out with no idea what was going to happen. Seventeen and pregnant had not been part of the minimal life plan I’d had.
Eventually, they calmed down enough to phone the Kings to let them know what was happening. I begged them to let me tell Aiden first, myself, but they refused. While our parents spoke over Skype, he and I chatted via instant messaging. We were only kids, but were going to have a kid ourselves. Plus, there were thousands of miles between us, how the hell were we going to cope?
Joseph and Marie didn’t take the news well at all. Aiden was grounded and had his car taken off him, causing him to bitch about having to ride the bus to school. Mum managed to calm things down while I sat on the sofa feeling like a complete disappointment. Then it hit me, I’d slept with two guys, brothers no less, and the end result was the baby inside me. Panic began to set in as I tried to rack my brains, and work out timings. Relief washed over me when I remembered distinctly that Tyler had taken the time to put on a condom. Even though the situation was far from ideal, I would’ve rathered Aiden be the father of my baby than his dick of a brother. That’s why I decided to tell him the truth.
I waited until I was alone in my bedroom so we could video chat. It was the closest I could get to telling him face to face. Speaking without really looking at him, I thought he was going to yell and end up hating me, but he didn’t. Whenever I mentioned Tyler however, he became stony faced before changing the subject. I’d made things worse between the two of them.
It took a few weeks, but both sets of parents came to an agreement. I had to stay in the UK to finish my course and sit my exams. I was to have the baby in the local hospital, and if I still wanted to afterwards, then I had my parent’s blessing to go and live in America, as long as I made the effort to keep up with school and applied to university courses, even if only online. I think they were hoping I’d decide to stay, but I knew I wouldn’t. Ever since going to America, I didn’t fit in at home anymore.
A week before the baby was born; Joseph and Marie flew over to be with me when their granddaughter came into the world. They suggested that Mum and Dad come with me to the US, but neither could afford to leave their jobs and up sticks halfway around the world. That caused a lot of tears when it hit me how much I was leaving behind, but they both made it clear that there would always be a home for me with them, and they would always be there for me.
Ellie was born the same day I received my exam results. I’d done better than I’d expected, but not as well as had been predicted. It didn’t bother me too much considering I had more important things to worry about. Two months later I boarded a plane with Joseph and Marie. Tyler and Aiden met us at the airport, surrounded by huge balloons. The elder King Brother looked nervous and uncomfortable, as if he were worried I was about to announce that it was all a joke, and
he
was really Ellie’s dad. Aiden on the other hand, was sunshine and smiles.
I was home.
Hx
~DD~
September 2018
Dear Diary,
I can’t remember the last time I picked you up and had a flick through the pages, looking back on everything. These are the last few pages, so it’s only right I use them to catch you up.
I’m currently taking a break from packing up Ellie’s things. She’s outgrown her cot, so we decided it’s time we get our own place so she can have her own room. Joseph and Marie insisted there was plenty of space for us, especially now that Tyler’s moved across state, but Aiden insists we need our own space. I love my in-laws dearly, but I agree with him.
He graduated from university last month and has already secured a job at his old high school. He’s the new History teacher; I’m so proud.
Yes, I said in-laws. Aiden and I got married on El’s first birthday. A small, intimate occasion with the Kings, my parents, Bethany, and Chad was the only way I wanted to become Holly King.
I start my online degree classes in a couple of months, so everything is looking pretty rosy for our small family.
In fact, life is perfect, or it will be when Aiden gets back from the new house, I have some news. El’s going to be a big sister.
Hx
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
M. B. Feeney is an army brat who finally settled down in Birmingham, UK with her other half, two kids and a dog. She procrastinates on her assignments by listening to music of all genres and trying to get ‘just one more paragraph’ written on whichever WIP is open. She is also a serious doodler and a chocoholic. Writing has been her one true love ever since she could spell, and publishing is the final culmination of her hard work and ambition.
Always having something on the go can often lead to ‘writer’s block’ which eventually gets dissolved by good music and an even better book.
Her Other Works:
Right Click, Love
Just Like in the Movies
Honour
The One That Got Away
Keep up with her at:
https://mbfeeney.wordpress.com/
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