Dear Diary (19 page)

Nick slipped the two pictures into his wallet. Rory would get a kick out of them, he thought, smiling. His smile slowly faded as he remembered her in his arms. For a few moments he’d lost his head, almost forgetting he was with Rory. But now, by God, he was fully aware. Rory. He’d wanted her as long as he could remember. He’d settled for friendship, but it had only been because of her rejection, and now,
now
, with the memory of her limbs stirring beneath his, the taste of her mouth on his tongue, the light, fast pounding of her heart… .

Nick shook his head, these kinds of thoughts were counterproductive. He quickly finished dressing, then grimaced at the sight of his reflection in the mirrored closet doors. He looked like hell. The flu hadn’t quite given up the fight yet.

After glancing at the clock on his dresser, Nick strode down the condo’s hardwood floors to the hallway. It was early, but that was okay. He wanted to get to work before Rory. Grabbing his jacket and briefcase, he headed down the front steps to the private garage where his car waited.

It was another overcast day, typical of Seattle, but the clouds were high and light, promising better weather. June was only two days away. Summer was fast approaching, and Nick was suddenly deeply glad he was back in Seattle.

He had to unlock the doors to the office as he was the first one there. Once inside, he headed straight to Rory’s office, flipped on the lights and looked around. Inhaling, he was convinced he could smell her soft, light scent. God, what was it about her that stirred him up so much? He’d known her for years. Yet she was a fire in his blood, and he knew without a doubt that he would never get over her until he doused the flames. He wanted to sleep with her and soon, and to hell with what happened afterward.

Growling, he propped himself against her credenza and crossed his ankles, his palms flat on the smooth wood. He frowned at the window to the gray shadowed city outside. He could scarcely remember a time before Rory wasn’t a big part of his life. He’d been attracted to her since high school. Even when there were other women in his life, she’d haunted his thoughts.

And now he sensed the time was right to take their relationship a step further. If only Rory weren’t so reluctant. She acted scared to death. Her body responded all right‌—‌he hadn’t mistaken that‌—‌but she was nearly hysterical about keeping him at arm’s length. Why? Was she that afraid of ruining their friendship? Or was it something else?

He remembered kissing her that time at the Movie Haus and almost laughed. He’d been so green. And selfish. The last thing she’d had on her mind was necking, but it was only years later, with the benefit of hindsight, that he could really look at her reaction objectively. He’d taken her rejection at face value and had purposely buried his attraction to her, believing it gone forever. But it had only been simmering, waiting for another opportunity.

That opportunity was now. They were working together. Neither one of them was involved with someone else. They liked each other. No matter what had taken place in the past, he and Rory were now older and wiser, and
ready
, he reasoned firmly, to break new ground.

He just had to convince her of that.

Nick pulled out the photographs, looking at them in turn. He didn’t kid himself that he was in love with Rory. He cared about her as much, or more, than any other woman in his life. He cared about her more than he’d ever cared about Jenny, he realized now. But his desire for her was bound to be a passing thing.

Your other women… All of them…

He pressed his lips together. He’d taken offense to her remark, but then, maybe she wasn’t that far off in her assessment after all. Was he truly that shallow? Was he just interested in cruising through women these days, making no commitments?

Or are you afraid of falling that hard?

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He was making too much of this. He and Rory had been friends long enough that taking their relationship a step further shouldn’t change anything. They were both adults. They had deep feelings for each other. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

Footsteps sounded in the outer reception room. He could hear Pamela talking to someone else. Don probably. Nick grimaced. He was going to have to make some decisions about him soon. The guy had a chip on his shoulder the size of Gibraltar, and it didn’t look as if anything anyone said or did would knock it off.

“I’ll leave a message for her,” Pamela was saying. “But she’s got a meeting with Mr. Marsden this morning and I don’t know how long it’ll last.”

Don swore fiercely and stalked down the hall.

“I’ll tell her what you said,” Pamela sang out as she walked into Rory’s office. Nick didn’t have time to alert her to his presence. She stepped through Rory’s door totally unsuspecting and when she saw him standing there she shrieked to holy heaven.

“Mr. Shard!”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Now how was he going to explain this? “I was just waiting for Rory.”

“Rory called and said she’d be a few minutes late.”

“Okay.”

The smile that curved her lips was knowing, and Nick felt impatient. He stifled the urge to tell her he and Rory were just longtime friends once again. Besides, after the thoughts he’d been having lately, he intended for that status to change.

Pamela set Don’s message squarely in the center of Rory’s desktop. Glancing Nick’s way, she asked, “Is there anything I can get you? Some coffee? Or tea?”

“Coffee would be great.”

Her hips swayed from side to side as she left. Nick smiled to himself. Was that for his benefit? No matter what Rory thought, despite her comments about his ‘other women’, he was not interested in office liaisons. They were too complicated, took too much energy and more often than not ended in disaster.

Except Rory was a special case.

He heard rapid footsteps a few moments later and he straightened, but it was only Pamela, slipping into Rory’s office, then crossing her carpet in slow footsteps, careful not to spill a drop of coffee in the steaming cup she held out to him.

“Look out, it’s really hot,” she said, turning the cup around for him to grab the handle. Her fingers grazed his as they made the transfer.

“Thanks.”

Rory walked in at that moment. Her gaze centered briefly on their hands. “Well, hi, guys,” she said, tossing her briefcase on a chair. She studiously avoided Nick’s eyes.

“Morning, Rory,” Nick answered lazily. He felt the rush of longing so intense it startled him. She wore a dress today. Moss green and soft looking, with sleeves that stopped just below her elbow. A small delicate gold chain bracelet encircled her left wrist. He was mesmerized by that touch of femininity to an otherwise very businesslike appearance. He wanted to walk up behind her and slide his arms around her waist.

“I was just bringing Nick some coffee,” Pamela said a little too brightly.

“Good to have coffee in the morning.” Rory’s tone was neutral.

“There’s a note from Don on your desk,” she said, taking her cue and heading for the door.

“Oh, joy.”

As soon as Pamela left, the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. Rory was doing her damnedest to avoid him.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Nick remarked casually as Rory picked up the note and read it.

“I see.”

“We, um, left on strange terms the other morning.”

When she didn’t answer, and then didn’t act as if she were ever planning on answering, he asked dryly, “Aren’t you even concerned about my health?”

She glanced up swiftly, her sapphire eyes frankly assessing; dark brows arched upward. “You look fine to me.”

“I took a look at myself before I came, and I’d have to call you a liar. But since you are so concerned, yes, I do feel better. I should be a hundred percent by tomorrow.”

Rory nodded, her gaze sliding away. Her blond-streaked brown hair had been tamed by two pins holding it away from her face. “Was there something else?” she asked when the seconds crawled by and he didn’t speak again.

“You’re trying to shut me out,” he answered softly. “I’m here to tell you, it’s not going to work.”

A flush crept over her skin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Nick, leave me alone. Don wants to see me, and I’ve got a meeting with your friend, Marsden, in fifteen minutes.”

“Have you talked to Marsden yet?” Nick asked curiously.

“As a matter of fact, I talked to him this morning. I called the office to say I was running late and Pamela told me he’d phoned. So I called him on the way here.” Her brow furrowed. “Nick, he wants to divest himself of all his real estate holdings and become more liquid. I’m going to have my hands full trying to talk him out of it as now is not the time to sell. I thought he was supposed to be conservative. What is this, some kind of test?”

“He’s probably pulling your leg.”

Her eyes flashed. “Thank you, Nick. That’s just what I need, a client who wants to play games.”

“He’s just breaking the ice. Relax, Rory. He won’t sell everything at once.”

“Well, he sounded damn serious to me. And it’s not something to joke about anyway.”

“Good God, woman. Lighten up.” Nick laughed.

Rory clamped her lips together. “Don’t you think it’s revealing that I lose my sense of humor every time I’m around you?”

He moved toward her, he couldn’t help himself. But she backed around the desk and glared at him. “I know Marsden’s your friend, but I would appreciate it if you’d stop acting like you and I have something going, okay?”

Nick was taken aback. “What’s Marsden got to do with you and me?”

“You told him you and I had a hot date on Friday. And that you spent the weekend with me. I grant you, that last part wasn’t intentional, but you can see how it looks to Marsden.”

“I said we were having dinner together. And I did not tell him I spent the weekend with you.” Nick grew impatient. He hated over-explaining things. “I talked to him yesterday and told him I’d been sick. He’d been trying to reach me. He knows we’re friends.”

“That phrase is certainly getting overworked around here, isn’t it?”

“You’re making too much of this,” he clipped out.

“And you’re not helping by acting like we’re seeing each other.”

For a brief moment he glimpsed behind her feminine armor and saw how frightened she was. “I wish we were seeing each other, Rory. I’d like to start today.”

“Wow. Okay. At least you’re putting your cards on the table.”

“Marsden just knows we’re friends. He assumed I had a hot date Friday night, because I said I was going to dinner. When he found out it was with you, he probably just felt like teasing you. That’s all.”

Rory was silent, her lips tight. Frustrated, Nick realized this little problem had only intensified her resolve to keep away from him. But he wasn’t going to let her.

“Nick,” she said seriously, regarding him with an intensity that totally derailed his concentration. “I’m happy you trust me with Mr. Marsden’s account, but please don’t undermine me. Every time you make some kind of remark about us, it complicates things.”

Her stubbornness was enough to try a saint. Worse, it was wrapped up in a rationale that he believed in himself. “I’m not undermining you, Rory. Stop being so afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“You’re petrified.”

The look she sent him was blistering, but her lips quivered and gave her away. If Nick had been anywhere but where they were, he would have pulled her into his arms and kissed her until they were both senseless.

“I want to kiss you again,” he told her.

The air escaped Rory’s lungs in a whoosh. Nick stood on the other side of her desk, but she felt suffocated by him. There was passion simmering in his gray eyes. He was so intense it scared her. He was right. She
was
petrified. And she
did
want him.

Her gaze fell before his conviction. Her heart pumped hard and painfully. She wished he would just leave.

“I’ve got to go,” she said stiffly.

“No, I’ll go. I’ll be at the meeting.”

Rory’s gaze jerked upward. “Let me handle this one by myself. Please. I don’t want to be your mouthpiece. I’ve got a reputation in this business, too.”

His mouth tightened perceptibly. “I know that.”

“And I’m not going to have everyone looking at me out of the corner of their eyes and whispering.”

“No one knows that you and I were… in bed together.” His lips twisted humorously.

“Watch it, Nick,” she warned.

“I understand friends make the best kind of lovers.”

“Who says that? I don’t believe it. And I don’t want to be your lover,” Rory said.

“You’ve gotta stop this.” She walked around the desk and stooped for her briefcase, every nerve attuned to the man behind her.

“Why did you choose investments?” he asked, taking her by surprise by the question’s swift change of direction.

“What do you mean?” Rory straightened.

“Why did you choose the same field I did?”

“Now what are you trying to suggest? That I picked investments because
you
did?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “You and I are on the same track. We’ve always been on the same track.”

“I’m sorry, Nick,” she said distantly. “Don’t take this wrong, but I’m just not interested.”

He laughed aloud. “The hell you’re not, Rory. And I’m going to prove it to you.”

“You’ll fail.”

“No, I won’t.”

She’d inadvertently given him a challenge and she could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he was ready and eager to meet it. She felt the first rush of panic freeze her blood. In a stab of honesty, she said, “I can’t be with anyone I don’t trust. Your friendship means everything to me, but I’d be a fool to want anything more.”

“I’m going to the San Juan Islands this weekend,” he said softly, as if he hadn’t heard a word she uttered. “Come with me.”

She’d never received the full force of Nick’s sexual energy before, and she didn’t like it one bit. That was not the kind of woman she was, and he should know it.