Dead Shall Speak (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 10) (49 page)

She shook her head, and then headed toward the hotel, three blocks away. “Drive safe,” she said softly, trying to escape.

They watched her leave.

“Should we follow her?” Callen asked, wanting to run to her, scoop her up, and kiss away all the hurt she was feeling.

“We’ll meet her back at the room and fix her then. For now, let’s get this interview done. Then, we can take care of Lyzee.”

“She had no choice,” he added.

Ethan agreed. “She won’t see it that way. That’s what makes her the person she is. She chose this path, now she’ll deal with the fallout.”

“This sucks,” stated Callen.

“Yeah, but she’s strong. Elizabeth will bounce back.”

Callen wasn’t sure about that.

All they could do was hope her heart was just as strong, or she’d be suffering for a long time.

He couldn’t believe that he’d been betrayed by them. His friends, family, and co-workers knew what he’d never even suspected. His own mother, lost to him so many years ago, was found in that godforsaken hole.

His heart ached.

Tony wanted to weep with tears of sorrow and bitter ones of anger. He felt lost and betrayed all at once, and the emotions were swamping him, threatening to swallow him whole.

He didn't want to be angry at his family.

He wanted to be angry at himself.

All the years that he’d hated the woman who gave him life, and here she was dead.

She didn't leave him.

Tony wasn’t intentionally abandoned.

Instead, someone had taken her away.

All those times he laid in bed, wishing her dead, and here he’d inadvertently gotten his wish. The hurt from his friends was bad enough, but the self-loathing of his actions far outweighed it.

Why he headed to the cemetery, he’d never know. At first, he swore it was for the quiet.

But he knew the truth.

He wanted to go where he’d had a pleasant memory. Jaxon had been there with him, and he wanted to feel something other than anger and loss.

He desperately wanted to find love.

As he laid on the soft grass, it occurred to him. Finding his mother had been his mission in life, and now it was done.

So what now?

Where did he go from here?

Could he leave and walk away from a career which had been forged in the dark belly of anger? Could he say goodbye to serving the dead, all because the most important victim was now home?

What was next?

Who was he going to be?

All these thoughts and fears coursed through him, as he tried to not let the anger win.

It was just so damn hard.

As he closed his eyes, he wanted to weep.

Yet, the tears wouldn’t come. There had been so many over the years, and now they were firmly locked away, unwilling to break free.

This was so new to him.

Tony didn't know what to do.

Lying there, he heard the footsteps and prayed it wasn’t a Blackhawk. He’d said it all to them. While his anger was pointed at Elizabeth, it was meant for everyone who knew what was going on.

The rage burned on when he thought about her.

Elizabeth may be his boss, but other than that, she was dead to him. A line was crossed, and he didn't ever think he could forgive her.

Not for this.

Never for this.

As he opened his eyes, he stared up at his fiancée. A part of him was thrilled she’d come, the other half was afraid that he’d hurt her too. “You shouldn’t be here, Jaxon.”

That one response said it all.

While she didn't know about the entire lie that the team had woven around him, Tony still didn't want to hurt her. If she stayed, that just might happen.

He was in a bitch of a mood, and didn't want to take it out on her.

She didn't deserve it.

“Are you okay, Tony?” she asked, sitting beside him.

While he wanted to whip out some snarky, mean reply, he wasn’t that far gone. “No, but you should go back to the hotel. I need time to think and be alone.”

She ignored him.

When she wanted to run, he chased. Well, by God, she was going to do the exact same thing. If he took off, she’d be right behind him.

“I don’t want to talk.”

She pushed past that. “Okay, so you can listen then. I know how you feel.”

His eyes snapped open, anger filling them. “Do you? How could you possibly know what it’s like to walk into a room to find your mother’s face on a skull your own team dug up? There is nothing more horrifying on the planet.”

Ignoring his tirade, she continued, “When my mom was killed, my father had to go to the hospital to identify the body. He brought Jagger and me with him. When he found out she was killed, he didn't want to chance leaving us alone.”

Tony didn't speak.

“So, as he was handling the papers, I wanted to see her. I had to see her, Tony. My father, of course, refused. She was going to be buried immediately, and he didn't want to hear another word of it. As he was busy, we snuck into the morgue. Jagger and I went in, lifted the sheet and saw what they did to her. It was cold. It was careless, and it was heartbreaking.”

He stared at her, hearing the emotion in her voice.

“She was ruined. I remember thinking, ‘God! Why do I have to see her like this? My mom was so beautiful, and now she’s so broken. It’s how I remember her. From that day on, the beauty was gone, and in its place was nothing but ugliness.”

She took his hand in hers. “When you walked in today, I know how that sucker punch to the gut felt. It took your breath away and stole a piece of your soul. You always wanted to find her, but didn't expect it to be like this. You wanted it to be on your terms, but today your control was taken. I get that.”

He closed his eyes. “I never wanted to find her. That’s some bullshit story I kept spouting just to get through the day. I wanted to hate her, Jaxon. I wanted to imagine that she was off with a new family, happy, healthy, and still alive. Then, I could hate her and justify all the horrible things that I’ve thought, said, and wished on her. Now I know she died a prisoner to some lunatic. When she was locked away, did she weep, hoping I’d find her? Did she cry when he abused her? Was it all my fault?”

She stroked a dark hair from his forehead. “How can this be your fault, Tony?”

“She was working that second job to take care of me. Had I never been born, maybe she would have lived.”

“You can’t carry this on your shoulders, Tony. You didn't ask to be born. She had you.”

His heart ached. “Did she suffer? While he killed her, was she thinking about me? I have all these questions, and I can’t answer them. Finding her didn't make it easier. It made it so much harder. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to hold up under this.”

“Fate put us together, Tony. If you didn't find me on the last case, If I didn't run, then you wouldn’t have chased, and we wouldn’t be here. It’s all come full circle. This was all meant to happen. This is unfolding exactly how it’s supposed to be. You were always meant to be right here, right now.”

He knew she was right.

It didn't make it easier.

“Maybe Elizabeth didn't want to hurt you with this. If she walked in and pointed at a pile of bones, telling you they were your mother, it would have been all you remembered. Instead, she had me give her a face. Part of that was to give you a good memory, Tony. She loves you. They all do. You can tell.”

He was aware, but it didn't solve his one fundamental problem.

“I don’t know what to do. For the first time, I’m not sure how to do my job. My mother is dead. I have proof.”

She leaned down to kiss him on the lips. “Let us help you. You’re a victim too. Let the team that you’ve called friends and family for the last twelve years take over. They’ll circle around you, keep you safe, and get you the answers you need. You just need to trust them.”

Her words caused him so much pain. That bridge was already torched to the ground. “It’s too late. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I tore into Elizabeth. I may be fired. I went after her for what she did. I called her names, I dumped my emotional shit all over her.”

He’d been an asshole.

“Even if that happens, I think you know the tech team, Doctor Leonard, and the bosses will fight to find the truth, even if you said questionable things. I may not get your relationship with them, but as an outsider, I can see it runs deep. Let them help you. Let me help you.”

Tony sighed, wanting to weep, but he couldn’t make the tears come.

“I don’t deserve you, Jaxon. Thank you for coming to find me.”

She opened her arms, and immediately, he went into them. The lack of hesitation spoke volumes of what they shared. This was love, and it wrapped around them in a protective cocoon.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” he admitted.

She kissed him on the lips. “We can do it together. You should know that by now. You nearly died for me, so let me bear this for you. It’s the least I can do for the man I love.”

Jaxon was right.

Tony didn't really have a choice. The people he’d just ripped to shreds with his words were the only ones who could get him the answers he needed.

Damn!

He’d wished he’d never been so angry. Now, he’d have to work for it.

He’d start with Chris.

And hope he could fix this mess.

Once in the hotel, she went to head past the front desk, only to be stopped by the concierge. “Yes?” she asked when he called her name.

“You have a message from a Gabriel Rothschild,” he offered.

That puzzled Elizabeth. Why hadn’t he just called her on her cell phone? Taking the paper from him, she read it over.

‘I can’t reach you. I need an update on your situation.’

Pulling out her phone, she checked the bars. Yeah, reception was still sketchy here in the hotel. It looked like it wasn’t just the woods.

“Thank you,” she offered.

Johnny grinned. “You’re welcome, ma’am.” He pointed toward a plate with cookies. “They’re fresh baked.”

Elizabeth wasn’t in the mood. “Thank you, but I'm good.” As she rode the elevator up, reception became better. Her phone came to life, downloading message after message. There were ten from Chris Leonard, and a few from Merry. Each and every one tried to warn her that the shit was about to hit the fan with Tony.

Yeah, she was well aware.

Well, at least they tried to give her a heads up. That was something.

Up in her room, she dialed her ME.

“Thank God! Tony found out! He’s out there wandering alone,” Christ blurted, before Elizabeth could even get a word in edgewise.

“Oh, he’s not wandering,” she stated. “He found me at the coffee shop and spoke his mind.”

“Shit! Are you okay, Lyzee?” Chris asked.

She laughed.

It wasn’t a funny one either.

“No, I’m dead to him. His words, not mine. Oh, and I’m a cold hearted bitch, but we all know that’s more fact than fiction anyway.”

Chris went to reassure her, but he was cut off.

“It’s okay. I knew this was a risk, and now I’m dealing with it. Like I said before, you’re to blame me for all of this. We’ll try and keep our team intact for as long as possible. If he wants to hate me, so be it.”

“He’s just hurt,” Chris tried to offer.

It didn't matter. Elizabeth knew this was squarely on her shoulders.

“Again, I knew this was a possibility, Chris. I knew the risk and I’m really okay. I’ve been called and accused of worse in my past. This is nothing.”

That was one hell of a lie.

Chris Leonard didn't believe her.

“I’m working at the hotel if the team needs me. Callen and Ethan are out in the field. I’m going to turn off my phone so I can work. I need to focus on the case.”

Another lie.

She wanted quiet.

Elizabeth wanted solitude.

“Sure thing, boss. Take it easy, okay?” He was worried for his pregnant friend, just as much as he was concerned for Tony. It was a precarious line to walk.

But it was the right thing to do.

There was no way he was going to sit there and let the people he called family implode around him.

It just wasn’t happening.

Chris Leonard was going to take care of this mess.

One way or another.

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