Dead Reckoning (33 page)

“Maybe.” The tease escaped before she could stop it. Shiloh shrugged as she looked to the moon. “We haven’t spoken in years. I don’t want him in my life.”

“Just remember, you’re the one who said I was different.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “You are.” Since openness and honesty seemed to be the fare for the evening, she braved a question that had niggled her for a while. “Tell me about Chloe.” Shiloh eased onto her back, stiffening against the prickles of pain from the glass cuts.

“Whoa.” Hollowness poked his laugh. “You’re not pulling any punches.” He exhaled loudly. “All right. Even though this goes against my better judgment … Her sister worked for the agency and recommended her to me. After thoroughly investigating Chloe, I agreed she had what it took. So I recruited and trained her. She sailed through her first mission, following every nuance of my instructions. I’d never been so proud. But I made the mistake of letting my feelings for her cross professional lines.”

“You had a relationship with her?”

“We dated. I got serious. She didn’t—about me or the job.”

“Did you love her?” The question swirled through her stomach, weaving a tight fabric of jealousy.

“I thought I did. I see things differently now. We never really clicked. Not like—” He cleared his throat.

Us? Not like us?
Was that what he meant? So he felt things were natural and right between them too? Pleasure kneaded the longing in her heart.

“We had an argument. Chloe felt I was holding her back.”

“Were you?”

“I knew things she didn’t. Any trainee should know to trust their handler. She insisted I release her to go solo. I refused and told her she wasn’t ready. Then we got the call that the Taj was under siege. By going against my wishes and without authorization, she was rogue. My hands were tied. If anything went wrong, she would be disavowed.” He scratched the stubble on his jaw. “They found her body in a ditch a week later.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Shiloh lay there, realizing how much he’d been through with his parents and Chloe. Why hadn’t anger eaten him? He had said he gave everything to God. What did that mean? God didn’t want her problems—He had a world full of them already.

And this woman who’d tied Reece's mind in knots. The one he thought he loved, what was she like? How had she captured his attention?

“What was she like as a person?”

“Smart. Feisty. Bad attitude.” His thumb stroked her jaw. “But she had nothing on you. What is it—India? Does it bring out the worst in you women?”

“I love India. Well, not the clogged cities, but the people, the beaches and open areas. Just incredible.” Shiloh smiled at the stars that peeked through the cover of night. “The caves are indescribable.”

“You mean on Elephanta Island?”

“No, the ones underwater. Khalid and I found them weeks ago. We would spend our weekends exploring them.”

Quiet plunked between them.

Next to her, Reece lifted up and peered over the side. He pushed up more. Soon, he slunk along the wall, peering over the rim.

“What?”

He hurried to the corner, glanced over—and jerked back. He returned. “Come on. I have an idea.” Moving as if night had no effect on his ability to see, Reece jogged to the other end.

Shiloh followed close behind.

“Over there.”

She followed to where he pointed—and her heart thumped. “What?”

“We’re going to jump.” Reece grinned. “Come on. It's only a dozen feet.”

Only?

With a skip, he sprinted the distance and soared over the alley. Landing in a roll, he hit almost without a sound. On his feet, he turned and waved.

Great. She had no choice but to do the same. Palms sweating, she darted toward the ledge.
I am insane.
She threw her arms upward. Nothing but cool Parisian air below. The roof of the other building rose to meet her.

Shiloh hit. Hard. Against the side. She groped for a hold. Slid down.

A hand clamped over hers. Drew her up. Cement scraped her side. Finally, Reece hauled her up and held her close. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Her hands trembled. She hissed as the pain in her side registered.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Shiloh clamped a hand over the scrape. “I’m fine. Let's just go.”

Down the fire escape, they then stuck to the darker, stinky parts of the city. Reece's agile and swift moves challenged Shiloh to stay alert.

Thirty minutes delivered them to the stoop of a home in the Latin Quarter. “Where are we?” Shiloh inched nearer to Reece, feeling exposed in the light streaming from the front window.

The door opened. A woman eyed Shiloh, then Reece. She frowned as she stepped back and allowed them in. “Your faces are all over the news.”

Reece nodded. “We need to get back to the States.”

The woman shook her head. She lifted a device from a nearby table and handed it to him.

He looked at it and cursed.

“What?” Shiloh glanced between the two. “What is that? A pager?”

Something flickered in Reece's eyes for only a second before it vanished. He touched her shoulder. “Why don’t you go shower? We’ll head out as soon as I can get things worked out.”

His words might as well have been a pat on the head. She wasn’t a child. And she’d had enough. “I’ve just escaped a ministry building where I should have been safe. I’ve been shot at, gotten glass stuck in my back, lay for two hours on a roof, jumped off said roof, and hoofed it for the last half hour to get here.” She raked a hand through her hair. “Now. Tell me what's going on?”

Reece's expression hardened. “
Everything's
going on.”

The edge in his words pushed her back. He’d never talked or looked at her like that. What … what had changed? What was on that thing the woman had shown him? Or was this about something different? Maybe her and Khalid? Was
this woman someone special to him, someone who reminded him that Shiloh was just a guppy? Did he think he loved her, only to realize he didn’t? She eyed him and swallowed the swell of dread.

“Kit, take her upstairs.” He started toward the back of the house.

Confused at the way he took charge, the way he ordered the woman who owned this house around, Shiloh stared after him.

“He's right, love.” A strong Irish brogue sailed through the woman's words. “You should shower and change. Never know what will happen next.” Kit guided her up the stairs to a room with a bed and private bath. “You don’t look much bigger than me, so you’ll have a change of clothes. I’ll mend your back after you’ve showered.”

Despair clung to Shiloh. She nodded, barely remembering the pain and stickiness in her back. Kit lifted a robe from a hook outside the bathroom, spun the knobs in the shower, set towels on the bathtub ledge, and then turned back to her. Brown eyes took her in, filled with uncertainty and … something else. “I’m sorry about your fiancé.”

Surprised the woman knew so much, Shiloh tried not to react.

A smile slipped into Kit's beautiful face. “He's the best. He’ll take good care of you.”

“He hates me, I think.” Even to Shiloh, it sounded so unreasonable, but something had changed with Reece. But still, she had no business talking about it with this woman. She accepted the robe. “Thanks.” With that, she strode into the bathroom and shut the door.

Relief flooded her at being alone. Alone with her thoughts. Alone with her pain.

She slipped off her jeans. Then whimpered and cringed as she peeled off the shirt, the dried blood pricking her back with pain. Beneath the warm water, she pressed her hands against the white tile. What had she done? It surprised her how much she wanted to make this right, to see the smile that sparkled in his eyes even when he wasn’t actually smiling. Desperately, she ached to have the strength of his support and feel like he had her back.

What did he have that she didn’t? How could she be as strong and confident? Whatever it was, she wanted it.

God.

Anything but that.

W
HAT’RE YOU DOING?”

Reece set the phone back on the cradle and turned calmly toward Kit.

“Don’t give me that innocent goat look!” She stomped across the tiled floors, hands on her hips. “You’re a better agent than letting some girl get silly over you!”

“It's …” He looked back to the paper where he’d written his notes, feeling helpless. No, desperate. “Don’t worry. I’m taking care of it.”

She cursed. “It's true—you’ve fallen for her.” Kit slammed the metal tea kettle onto a gas burner. “How can you be so daft?”

He spun to her. “I said I’m taking care of it!” Then her slip of the tongue registered. “Wait. Who's talking?”

Her brows knitted together. Kit covered her mouth, her eyes glossing as she shook her head. Finally, she slumped and braced herself against the counter. “Did you learn nothing from Chloe?”

He stalked to her. “Tell me who's talking?”

“You’ve compromised her safety and yours.” Sorrow plowed into her sweet face. “They’ll pull you, Reece.”

“No, they won’t. We’re in too deep.” He returned to the table. Knuckles against the wood, he stared at his notes. The plan was there. Everything in place. Only a few more calls. “I just have to protect the codes, make sure they aren’t tampered with. I’m too close.”

“Yes, precisely.”

He snapped up his head. “Not to
her
, to the truth.”

“There's no difference. She's directly connected to the truth. Getting involved with a mark is a primary tactical error.”

Reece flung the pen across the room. “Get off my back, Kit. I know what I’m doing.” But did he? Why did everything feel like it was spinning out of control, right through his fingers?

“Do you love her?”

“No.” The answer flew out and gave him away. The blunt force of a baseball bat against his chest wouldn’t have knocked the wind out of him the way her question had. How could Kit, in less than an hour, know what he felt for Shiloh? He stared at his hastily scrawled notes. The flight numbers. Aliases. Times. If he went through with this … He started for the stairs. “I need to clean up.”

“She thinks you hate her.”

He stopped at the threshold between the kitchen and living room but didn’t turn around. “It won’t matter.”

Kit's words haunted him as he trudged up the stairs. His plan had worked. Shiloh thought he hated her. But knowing that she believed it cut deeper than he could’ve imagined. As he walked past her room, he heard the steady cadence of water and music …

No. Not music. Crying.

His eyes closed.
God, this is too much.
Finally able to fall in love, have that love returned—he wasn’t quite one
hundred percent on that—and he has to surrender her. Walk away from the first ounce of joy he’d felt in years.

“What’re you going to do?”

He straightened at the sound of Kit's voice behind him. Then his shoulders sagged. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Reece …”

“Don’t.” He took a step.

“My sister's death should’ve taught you more.”

Anger stabbed through him. “It's a lesson I’ll
never
repeat.”

In his room, he showered and changed. This wasn’t the first time he’d had to enact such an extreme plan, but it was the first time he felt as if he’d cut out his heart.

It had to be done. Once Shiloh was safe, he’d ghost himself. Then hack out a living in the Alps or maybe the northern Rockies. Anywhere he didn’t have to think or feel.

On the edge of the bed, he made one final call.

“Go ahead.”

“Where are you?” Reece reached into the dresser, slid a panel aside, and withdrew a set of bona fides.

“It's November. Where do you think I am?” Good. He counted on the man's predictability.

“I need a favor.”

“I’m your man.”

Reece delivered the flight information. “Make sure this happens.”

“Got it.”

He ended the call and tossed himself against the bed. Eyes shut, he let himself relive the kiss he’d shared with Shiloh on the beach. What he wouldn’t give for a thousand more nights like that. He groaned. She’d awakened too much in him.

Female voices pulled him from his despair. He stuffed his arms into a navy fisherman's sweater and adjusted the white T-shirt beneath it. Best to just get on with this. Not think or dwell on it. Smoothing back his short crop, he headed downstairs.

From the foyer he could see through the darkened living room into the kitchen. Shiloh sat at the table, a white mug in her hands. Kit leaned against the counter stirring a steaming pot.

Laughter shot through the room.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Kit said.

Shiloh giggled and shook her head. Her reddish-brown tresses were dry and hung in loose waves. So beautiful … like autumn leaves of amber and gold. Tilting the mug against her lips, she took a drink. “What else did he do?”

They were talking about him! He strode into the kitchen and took a mug from the cabinet. At the stove, he eyed Kit and gave her a warning look as he poured a cup of hot tea.

“He's a big lug, stiff and tough.” Kit chuckled. “But he's also brilliant.”

Reece sipped the tea. He singed the tip of his tongue and hissed.

“Or maybe not.”

He glared at her and joined Shiloh at the table. “We head out in a couple of hours.”

“Wow, already?” She toyed with her napkin, not meeting his gaze. “Is it safe?”

“Everything's set. Kit will take you to the airstrip, where you’ll catch your flight.”

“What about you?” Shiloh set down her mug.

“Separate flights.”

Was he doing the right thing? It made sense. Sacrificing what he felt for her would ensure her safety. Her words about how her father's career had endangered her life gnawed at the core of his being. He would do anything to make
sure Shiloh had another day to see the sunrise over the ocean. To make sure she wasn’t hurt. It would be the death of their relationship. She’d never speak to him after tonight.

“Why are we splitting up?”

“You’re easier to spot together.” Kit set bowls of a yellowish substance before them. “Eat your custard before it's cold.”

Shiloh nodded as she lifted a steaming spoonful to her mouth and held it in midair. “Then we’ll hook back up, right?” Her blue-grey eyes seemed to search his very soul.