Dead Is a Battlefield (5 page)

“Are you even paying attention?” Eva said. “Anyway, I thought there was something familiar about him. It was bugging me until I realized I’d seen him before. On television.” She said the last part very dramatically.

“Really? What show?” I asked.

“The Terrible Tundra,”
she replied.

“You loved that show,” I said.
The Terrible Tundra
was a television show that Eva and I watched when we were about eight. It featured Jeremy Terrible, a kid who lived in the Alaskan tundra with a dog and a few survival skills.

“His name is Edgar Love,” Eva continued. “He and his mom just moved to Nightshade, to open a bath and body shop.”

“But the guy we met had black hair,” I pointed out. “The kid who played Jeremy was blond.”

She shrugged. “Ever hear of hair dye?”

“I thought Jeremy was played by someone named Ed Murphy or something like that?”

“Stage name,” she said. “I’m sure it’s him.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What makes you so sure?”

“I cornered him at school today and he finally admitted it. But he promised me not to tell anyone, so you can’t say a word.”

“I won’t,” I told her. “How did he take the news that he’d been spotted?”

“Not very well,” she replied. “He’s kind of a jerk. Disappointing, really.”

I knew how she felt.

CHAPTER SEVEN

That Saturday, we were
training at Natalie Mason’s old house. Her grandmother, a rather unpleasant woman, had lived there until she died under mysterious circumstances. Then Count Vlad Dracul, a wealthy vampire, had lived there until he and his bride went on a long honeymoon in Europe. When they got back, they’d moved into a bigger place, so the house was empty again. Natalie had loaned it to Flo for virago practice.

The flower beds in front of the house were full of huge roses. Natalie had a garden in the back, and right now, it was full of pumpkins and squash. Thanks to the green thumb of Natalie’s grandmother, there were also tall privacy hedges in the back, making it a good place to learn how to fight evil in secret. I went in through the back door, which was unlocked.

I was surprised to hear the sounds of guitars tuning up. “Hello?” I called. I stopped in the doorway of the living room and saw the members of Side Effects May Vary setting up their instruments.

“Hi, Jessica,” said Dominic.

Because he was rude to me when I last saw him, I ignored his greeting. “What’s going on? Where are Flo and Raven and Andy?”

“They’re in the basement,” said Flo’s boyfriend, Vinnie, from behind his drum kit. “Natalie’s letting us practice here, too. Isn’t it awesome?”

I nodded, and then glared at Dominic as I turned and headed for the basement. So much for top-secret fighting- evil lessons.

When I got downstairs, everyone else had already started training.

“Sorry I’m late,” I muttered, but Flo wasn’t paying me any attention because she was busy watching Andy showing off.

“Good, Andy,” Flo said as Andy kicked a pumpkin off a dummy.

I joined Raven, who was still warming up on the mat.

“What’s the lesson today?” I asked.

“From what I can tell, it’s how to kill a zombie,” she said.

“Zombies? Really? You’ve been hanging out with Eva too much,” I replied.

Flo overheard me. “Zombies exist, Jessica,” she said. “And you’d better realize that before you’re up against one. A zombie can suck out your brains before you have time to blink.”

She threw an enormous squash at me and I lashed out reflexively.

“Good,” she said. “Now try it again.”

I hit five squishy squash and then Flo sent me to work on strength training with Raven while Andy the wonder child showed Flo some complicated Brazilian fighting technique.

As we were working out, I heard a knocking on the door upstairs. “Do you hear that, too?” I asked Raven. She nodded.

Flo sighed in annoyance. “Why doesn’t someone in the band answer that?”

“They probably can’t hear it over the sound of their music,” Raven said.

Since nobody else was stepping up, I volunteered. “I’ll get it.” It would be nice to have a break. I scampered up the stairs before Flo could stop me.

I didn’t even stop to think about my sweaty, flushed appearance until I opened the back door and came face-to-face with a goddesslike blond girl with stunning green eyes.

“Hi,” I said, out of breath.

She held out a hand and smiled. “Selena Silvertongue,” she said.

I shook her hand. “Jessica Walsh,” I said. Then something struck me. “Are you related to the chef Circe Silvertongue?”

“She’s my aunt,” Selena replied. “I moved in with her right before school started.” Everyone knew about temperamental celebrity chef Circe Silvertongue, but she wasn’t exactly popular in Nightshade. Selena might have a hard time of it.

“Can I come in?” Selena asked. “I heard the band practicing and I brought cookies.”

“Oh, sure,” I said, gesturing for her to come inside. “Do you live close by?”

“Right across the street,” Selena said. “Aunt Circe and the Count like this neighborhood. They didn’t want to move far.”
She was craning her neck to see into the living room.

“Well, I better get back downstairs,” I said. She gave me a smile and I felt bad that I might have judged her solely by what I’d heard about her aunt. Selena seemed nice enough, for a gorgeous blonde who apparently liked the same guy I had a crush on.

Everyone must have had blondes on the brain, because when I got back to the basement, Andy was saying, “Viragos are statistically thirty percent more likely to be a blonde than a redhead.”

I glared at her. “That’s because there aren’t that many
real
redheads in the world,” I said. “Statistically. But there are plenty of bottle blondes.” I stared at her hair meaningfully and Raven let out a giggle, which she quickly stifled.

Andy was getting on my nerves. She acted like she knew everything there was to know about being a virago.

Suddenly, I felt the same strange tingly sensation on my arm I’d felt on Sean’s Grad Night.

I looked over at Raven, who had a still expression, like she was listening to something or someone no one else could hear.

“Let’s go!” Andy barked.

“Where do you suggest we go?” Raven asked.

“Don’t you newbies know anything?” Andy said.

Flo didn’t say anything but watched us closely.

“The heart of the city,” Raven said.

Andy snorted, but when we all piled into Flo’s van, we headed straight for Main Street. On our way out the door, we passed Selena and Dominic eating cookies at the kitchen table. I tried to suppress my jealousy and focus on the task at hand.

“Looks quiet,” Raven commented from the front seat as we cruised down Main Street.

“My tattoo is still all tingly,” I said.

Just then we saw a mob of teenage girls headed toward us at a run.

We were out of the van in a shot. Andy took a fighting stance, arms up, fists clenched, and I tried to copy her. Raven, I noticed, hid behind Flo.

But the mob of girls ran right past us and in the direction of The Look of Love store. I spotted Eva in the crowd and ran after her.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“It’s the grand opening of The Look of Love,” she panted.

“All this is because a store is opening?” I stopped in my tracks. I had thought someone was in danger, but the only danger I faced was getting sprayed with a strong perfume.

The girls were thwarted by the still-locked doors.

“Let us in, let us in, let us in,” they chanted.

I stayed near Eva while the rest of the viragos fanned out and blended in with the crowd. “Why are you so excited about it?” I asked. “I thought you didn’t even like Edgar.”

Eva looked at me like I was insane. “Of course I like Edgar,” she said. “He handed out a ton of free samples and now everyone is dying to buy some of the limited edition perfume and body wash. Wasn’t that generous of him?”

I thought she liked Evan, but the gleam in her eyes told me something else. “Huh?” was my brilliant response.

Through the glass double doors, we could see a woman clad in what looked like a purple cape. The crowd let out a cheer as she unlocked the doors. Eva and I were propelled into the store by the eager shoppers behind us.

“That must be Ms. Love,” Eva said. “Edgar’s mom. I can see where he gets his good looks.”

I was still too stunned by Eva’s complete turnaround about Edgar to respond properly.

Once inside, the shoppers fanned out. They were clearly on the hunt for something specific, and here and there, someone let out a cry of victory.

Andy and Raven came up to us, and Flo stood a distance away, observing the crowd with a faint frown on her face.

“False alarm,” Andy said to me when Eva was distracted by a particularly pretty display.

“You think?” I asked. My arm was still tingling, but I couldn’t figure out how a shopping frenzy was dangerous, except to the wallet.

“We’re bailing,” Andy said firmly. “Are you coming?”

“I think I’ll stick around a little longer,” I told her.

She shrugged. “Suit yourself. We’re out of here.”

She went over to Flo, who immediately looked my way. Andy was probably telling her I was trying to shirk the remainder of the day’s training or something.

As they passed us on their way out, Flo leaned in and said, “Be careful, Jessica.”

I felt a tiny bit better about my decision to stay. The store was set up so that the register was at the very back. There was an antique birdcage next to a huge potted plant near the register, and to the right, a set of black velvet curtains. I was pretty sure the curtains concealed the stockroom, since several staff members wearing purple smocks went in and out.

“I found it!” Eva crowed. “I found the last bottle of the special limited edition perfume. There were only thirteen bottles made and I found number thirteen!”

She held up a silver and black glass perfume bottle. It wasn’t until she held it sideways that I noticed its unusual shape.

“It’s shaped like a bird,” I observed.

“It’s a raven with a little silver beak. Isn’t it cute?”

“What’s it smell like?” I asked.

She held up her wrist for me to smell. It was intoxicating, but I couldn’t put my finger on one of the subtle scents. My tattoo throbbed as I sniffed.

A long black limo pulled up in front of the store and a couple of staff members rolled out a purple carpet.

Eva clutched my arm. “He’s here,” she breathed, then rushed toward the doors.

Several customers whipped out cameras in readiness. Then Edgar exited the limo, wearing a white dinner jacket, black trousers, and a snowy shirt paired with a purple tie.

“He looks like he’s going to the prom,” I muttered.

Girls started shrieking, and what seemed like a hundred flashes went off as Edgar posed for the cameras.

“Edgar, darling.” Ms. Love swept up to him and kissed his cheek.

I’d been dying to get a look in the back room and it seemed like a perfect time, since everyone’s attention was on Edgar and his mom.

I drew back the curtains and started to slip in when I heard a loud “Nevermore!” It seemed to come from the birdcage.

Ms. Love rushed up. “That area is off-limits,” she said, and glared at me suspiciously.

“Oh, sorry,” I said in my sweetest voice.

“Nevermore,” the bird croaked again, and Ms. Love drew the cover off of the cage.

“Did she scare you, my love?” She put a hand into the cage and stroked the bird’s glossy feathers. He tried to snap at her, but she gave him a swift tap on the beak with her finger. “Naughty boy.”

The bird glared at me with the same malevolent expression as its owner.

“Is that a crow?” I asked.

The bird ruffled his feathers, as if my question offended him.

“Poe is a raven,” Ms. Love boasted. “Not a common crow.”

I got the feeling she thought I’d insulted her pet.

Eva approached us. “The store is amazing.” She beamed at Ms. Love.

Shannon Miller came up to us. “Did either of you find a bottle?” she asked. She brandished hers high like a trophy.

“I did,” Eva squealed.

I happened to glance at Ms. Love and caught her with a triumphant smile on her face.

“I’m sorry you weren’t one of the lucky ones,” Ms. Love said to me in a pseudo-sympathetic way.

“Jessica doesn’t need any help in the romance department,” Shannon said.

“I don’t?”

“She’s got a thing with Dominic Gray,” Eva said pointedly.

I gave her a confused look.

“What’s up with you two, anyway?” Shannon asked.

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Oh yeah?” said Eva. “But it just so happens you’re hanging out with his sister at his band practice?”

“It’s not what you think—” I started, but Eva cut me off.

“Please, Jess,” she said. “I called your house to see if you wanted to come here with me, and your mom told me that’s what you were doing today.”

It was true that I had told my mom that. I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth about virago training.

“I can’t believe you’re blowing off your best friend to chase a guy.”

Shannon was clearly uncomfortable listening to Eva and me bickering. “I can’t wait a minute longer to put some of this on.”

She sprayed the perfume on her wrists and I caught another whiff. Definitely not my kind of scent.

I finally managed to drag Eva away, but she talked about the store all the way home.

“Wasn’t that store cool? And Ms. Love is so stylish. I can’t believe I got one of the limited-edition bottles. Everyone is going to be so jealous of me for a change.”

It went on and on. My best friend had found a new obsession, but I definitely preferred her obsession with Vincent Price movies to this one.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I had soccer tryouts
after school on Wednesday. I was fairly confident I had a good shot at making the team. I’d been in decent condition before Flo’s grueling workouts, but now I was in the best shape of my life.

Mr. Hogart kept me after class to talk about Open House, which I’d volunteered to help with, so I was almost late for practice. I changed in an empty locker room, then jogged onto the field to join the rest of the prospective team.