Dead Girl in Love (14 page)

“There are always risks,” he said, frowning down at me. “But I can help you through this if you trust me. I may need to touch your hand so I can share some of my energy with you. Otherwise, there may be serious damage from what you’ve just experienced. I had no idea your connection would be so intense.”

His voice, with its gentle lilt and deep caring tone, touched me with a similar tingle as the feel of his hand on mine. And I calmed down instantly, my mind and body seeming to merge together in the steady beat of Alyce’s heart. I thought of her mother, miles away and sleeping safely. I’d overreacted, worrying about her when I needed to take care of this body first.

“You landed too quickly,” he continued, “bringing back the same anxiety that caused your friend’s crisis, and your body is reacting as if pumped full of toxins. That’s why you should always separate your own emotions from those of your Host Body.”

“How do I fix it?” I sucked in a deep breath, struggling for energy.

“Rise out of the physical and cleanse away the trauma.”

“Leave Alyce’s body again?” I asked uneasily.

“Not completely. Otherwise the trauma will attack your temporary body—like a virus infecting a computer.”

“You’re scaring me,” I whispered, closing my eyes and focusing on his voice. For a bad guy, he wasn’t so bad.

“Don’t worry, I can fix everything. Take this.” His strong callused fingers intertwined with my own, tingling with familiar warmth that felt friendly, not frightening. I heard the rustling paper and smelled the sweet cocoa aroma of chocolate. He pressed a square of candy against my mouth, his fingers sizzling heat as they brushed my lips.

A cool breeze of energy swept through me, and I wondered if it had more to do with Gabe than with the chocolate. He guided me like he had before, asking me to focus inwardly and gather strength. It happened quicker—the lift and pull of my soul rising, and the awareness of separating. I saw Alyce’s body slumped in a chair below me. She looked so pale and lifeless, and I had to fight the urge to sink back inside her skin.

Before I could panic, I sensed Gabe’s presence beside me. And then a euphoric blanket of warmth wrapped around me like a comforting hug. I again saw him in his true form: his blue cap newer-looking and his black ponytail hanging over his muscled shoulder. I even smelled the salty spray of sea. And his gray-green eyes found me, too.

Although I knew our bodies weren’t flesh and blood in this surreal plane, more like holographs, when I reached out, I met his steady grasp. Shared warmth heated me like lava spilling from a mountain, and I felt strangely close to this dead guy who was supposed to be my enemy. He’d gone a long distance to find me, risked his own safety, and was sharing himself in a way that went beyond casual friendship. It was hard to remember that I’d ever feared him.

Wild excitement surged through me. I found myself leaning toward him, longing for more … for a closeness that wasn’t physically possible in a human body. But we weren’t human anymore. We were two souls sharing an amazing experience, which was both freeing and terrifying.

“What’s happening to me?” I asked in thoughts.

“You’re detoxifying. I’m using my power to free you of negative energy.” I heard his answer although his mouth didn’t move, and I wondered if I was really seeing him or merely a projection he wanted me to see. It was all so confusing … but not unpleasant. It was as if we were both whiffs of wind floating peacefully on a summer breeze.

“Am I myself or Alyce?”

“You’re uniquely Amber and completely beautiful.” If he’d said this in a normal voice while in a physical body, I might have been embarrassed and worried that Gabe was hitting on me, but we were beyond all that, in our purest form.

A change sprinkled around me like gentle rain. I looked down to see my own square fingers with a small scar on my thumb from the first (and only) fishing trip with my father. Long braids no longer fell over my shoulder and I reached up to touch my too-curly hair. And I was feeling wonderful—joyful, with energy that seemed endless, as if I were connected to a blissful infinity of life.

“This is incredible.” I sent out with waves of gratitude to Gabe.

“It gets better,” he replied in that same wordless way. A glow spun around his handsome face like silvery rings circling a planet. “You’ve shown me more friendship than anyone in my entire life and death. You’ve given me so much that I want to give you a gift in return that you’ll remember forever.”

“What?” I asked soundlessly.

“Fusing. It’s a way to share my secrets and powers. I’ve never trusted anyone enough to make this offer—only you. When you learn what I can show you, you’ll be able to create your own miracles.”

Miracles? Like helping Alyce and healing her mother? With Gabe’s knowledge and the power that came with it, I could do amazing things as a Temp Lifer. I could help everyone without making any mistakes.

“Say yes,” Gabe whispered, with such passion and promise that I wanted to lean into him and discover his amazing secrets. He was so handsome, so intriguing and yet tortured, too. He could help me and I would help him.

He held out his ethereal arms, a dazzling light, shining in shades of flame, flowing from his hands. “Fuse with me, Amber.”

“Yes!” The word fought to escape from my thoughts, the dangerous word thumping with my heartbeats like a caged bird eager to fly.

How I wanted to fly with Gabe! I couldn’t imagine anything better than the euphoria already soaring through me, and I was curious to know and experience more. Desire thrilled through me. What else would I learn from Gabe? He’d already shown me so much, and to hell with the risks. The promise of power whet my appetite—like tasting only a small bite of the sweetest chocolate in the universe and longing for more.

Yet something held me back. I hesitated, racked with uncertainty. But why? Nothing had changed on the outside … it was deep inside … a whisper from my own heart.

And just like that, I thought of Eli.

I flashed back to our first conversation, at Jessica Bradley’s party, when I was feeling alone and suddenly there he was. Although we’d met briefly in school, that moment at the chocolate buffet would always be our First Meeting. In the week after that he’d shown loyalty and friendship. I loved the way his mouth tilted crookedly when he smiled, his romantic text saying his music was for me, and how he’d traveled hundreds of miles just to give me a small book. He didn’t teach me secrets of the universe, but he had his own kind of power.

“No,” I told Gabe, pulling away.

Gabe’s eyes darkened like storm clouds. “What do you mean,
no
?”

“I-I just can’t. There’s Eli … my boyfriend … ”

“This has nothing to do with him.”

“Maybe … but it would feel wrong, and I don’t want to hurt him. Besides, Alyce’s mother may need me so I shouldn’t stay any longer.”

“But I could teach you so much more!”

“I know, and I really appreciate it. I’m just ready to leave.”

Then I backed away from him, the heat fading and a chill settling over me. Was I making the right choice? Refusing knowledge that could help Alyce, her mother, and maybe others, too?

Here goes another wrong turn in my misdirectional life, I thought wryly.

Gabe had pulled away too, his energy hard to read. But I understood enough now to concentrate and tap into my energy. If focusing inward had worked to lift me out of a body, then it should work to bring me back. So I visualized happy things like my family and friends. Mostly I thought of Eli, and that seemed to work.

There was no shock of landing this time, only a mild thump.

Blinking, I looked around the semi-dark fish shop. Gabe was beside me but not moving, his expression dazed, then slowly changing. Color rushed back into his face and an electric sizzle cracked the air around him.

He seemed weakened, which made me feel guilty. Had he used up too much energy to help me?

“Are you all right?” I asked softly.

“I’m fine.” He straightened his shoulders and turned away from me to pick up the discarded candy wrapper from the floor. Crumpling it into a ball, he tossed it into the trash.

He said no more as he locked up Wet Pets and led me back to his car. It was late and the road was nearly deserted, swallowing us in darkness. I tried to talk to him a few times, but he ignored me. His expression was a mask, hiding the anger I sensed. I wished he would turn on the radio or say something—or at least look at me.

“Are you angry?” I asked as he turned onto Alyce’s street and parked in the shadows under a tree.

Gabe glanced out the window, then turned to me, frowning. “It’s not anger.”

“Then what?”

“Disappointment. We stopped too soon.” He let out a weary breath. “You didn’t learn how to detoxify and will need my help if you want travel by soul transit again. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time for another lesson. I’ll be gone soon.”

“I’ll be okay,” I told him, touched by his concern for me. He seemed weary, too, which made me feel guilty. “Besides, you don’t have to leave for a few more days.”

“You’ll meet with me again?” he asked eagerly.

“That’s not what I meant—”

“But will you?”

I thought of all the powers he promised and how useful I could be as a Temp Lifer. My self-help books often advised being bold and unafraid in reaching for what you wanted. And what I wanted most was to help my best friend.

So I nodded. “All right.”

“Excellent! We’ll plan for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I bit my lip. “That’s so soon … I don’t know … I’ll call you.”

“I’ll be waiting.” His eyes softened, lingering on me.

I knew this wasn’t the face he’d been born into, yet his eyes remained his own, shining with the power of an undercurrent that pulled me closer. I felt a little dizzy and I found myself reluctant to step out of the car, thinking back to the incredible feeling we’d shared while out of body. It had been so freeing, honest, and ethereal. Not like going out with a human guy, but something beautifully spiritual.

As I left the car, I glanced back into his compelling sea eyes and wondered what he’d teach me at our next lesson. I wanted to learn how to heal injured souls like Alyce and travel in soul again. I was so grateful to Gabe for teaching and sharing this with me.

And I wanted to experience it again.

Fusing together?

Maybe.

Alyce’s mother slept through the night but I hardly slept at all. There was just too much to think about, and now that I knew about Alyce’s lost little sister, many things started to make sense. Like how my GEM kept telling me to look for “the lost.”

So the first thing I did, after making sure Alyce’s mother was safe, was to pull out my GEM and fire off questions.

“Is Alyce’s baby sister dead?”

Yes.

Although I suspected this answer, sorrow tightened in my chest.

“How did she die?”

Heart stopped.

“So it was a natural death?” I guessed.

Tragedy and joy are two sides of the same coin.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Oh, don’t bother. Just tell me where she’s buried.”

Underground.

“Well, duh. But where exactly?”

A cemetery.

I resisted heaving the GEM against a wall and asked which cemetery. But the GEM wouldn’t give me an answer. The only thing this stupid book was giving me was a headache. I closed the book and tossed it into Monkey Bag.

Then I sorted through the facts I did know. Alyce’s mother had disappeared shortly before Baby Sam was due. She’d had some kind of mental breakdown, and when she returned, no more baby. Somehow the child had (secretly?) been buried at a cemetery. Piecing together the rest of the story, I guessed that Mrs. Perfetti was disorientated, both physically and mentally ill, and becoming lost. When she found her way home, she couldn’t remember what had happened that night. “Don’t tell anyone!” she’d begged. And that’s what happened. The secret of Sam was buried in lies. This was probably what led to Alyce’s parents’ divorce. While her father went off to start a new life, Alyce was left alone with her mother.

Her crazy mother, I thought, sad that I never guessed how bad things were at Alyce’s home. When Mrs. Perfetti was rude to me, I’d avoided being around her.

After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, I got up and settled in at Alyce’s computer, hitting the power button. I ran a search on mental illness, narrowing down the symptoms until I came up with the diagnosis of paranoia and depression. The signs had been there. If only Alyce had told me. I couldn’t have cured her mother but I could have been there for Alyce.

Well, I was here for her now. And I’d continue the search that Alyce had started.

I’d find Sam’s grave.

Energized by this idea, I dug out the papers Dustin had printed out for me with directions to the cemeteries on Alyce’s list. I thought back to my visit to the Liberty Cemetery and was sure there hadn’t been a grave marked “Samantha” or “Sam.” So I could cross that location off the list. There was only one place left: Pioneer Cemetery in Calaveras County. That was a bit of a drive, off a country road about an hour away. I’d need to pick up Junkmobile, borrow Mrs. Perfetti’s car, or get a ride from someone. Dustin would give me a ride if he was free. So I sent him a quick text and waited a few minutes, since it wasn’t unusual for him to stay up half the night. But there wasn’t a reply, so I guessed he was asleep.

Then I had an even better idea—Grammy!

I always hung out with Alyce on weekends anyway. Grammy could drop me off at Junkmobile, then we’d both search for Sam’s grave. And when the timing felt right, I’d explain about Gabe’s tragic past and convince Grammy to meet with him.

Pleased with my plan, I finally fell asleep and didn’t wake up until the delicious aroma of cinnamon and pancakes set my stomach growling loudly like an alarm clock.

Not pancakes but waffles.

Thick, flakey, cinnamon-strawberry waffles.

I couldn’t have been more surprised when I walked into the kitchen and found Mrs. Perfetti standing by the counter and squashing strawberries in a bowl. Makeup softened her face, and she looked elegant with her hair twisted on her head in a chignon. This was not the same ranting crazy women I’d escorted home last night.

“Good morning! Are you hungry?” Mrs. Perfetti asked cheerfully.

She didn’t wait for my answer, ushering me to a chair at the table and flipping two waffles on my plate, then scooping up a huge spoon of strawberries and dumping them on the waffles. She didn’t mention flipping out last night. This was a different Mrs. Perfetti, smiling as she prepared breakfast like a 1950s mom from an old TV show.

Oh. My. God! Alyce’s home life was insane—literally.

How had Alyce managed to hide her problems so long without anyone—neighbors, teachers, and especially her best friend—noticing? Hiding such a big secret must have been torture. No wonder she suffered an emotional melt-down.

I was suffering, too, with Mrs. Perfetti. The way she fussed over me was creepier than her screaming “he’s the devil!” I wished I had a
How to Deal with a Psycho Mom
manual. Self-help books always clarified things for me and offered solutions. But was there a solution for mental illness? When I tried to ask Mrs. Perfetti what happened last night at her office, she gave me a blank stare as if I was speaking in a foreign language. Then she switched to a “Stepford Wife” smile and offered to squeeze me some fresh orange juice.

Um … no thank you.

On the plus side, Mrs. Perfetti was so eager to please me that when I asked to borrow the car she said, “Of course, honey!” with great fervor—as if I were doing her the favor. She even offered her credit card in case I needed gas.

Then I ushered her into the living room, easing her into her favorite chair and putting on the Judge Nancy Dee episodes she’d DVRd during the week. While Mrs. Perfetti disappeared into the Judge Nancy Dee zone, I stood in front of the sink, bubbles lathering and water spilling, as my mind rushed with plans:

1. Retrieve Junkmobile.

2. Talk Grammy into meeting Gabe.

3. Look for missing grave at Pioneer cemetery.

This time when I went to a cemetery I’d know what to search for, although I had no idea if there would be an engraved headstone, a plain stone marker, or nothing at all. It was all so mysterious. How did Alyce’s mother arrange a burial for a baby that died without anyone knowing? What had happened that tragic night? And what would happen to Mrs. Perfetti when her secret was revealed? I hoped it would bring closure, not more tragedy.