Dead Beginnings (Vol. 2) (2 page)

III.

              Lee finally arrived home at a few minutes past four a.m. He walked into the empty, darkened house and locked the door behind him. For a moment, he stood in the entryway in silence.

             
What are her parents telling her about me now?
he couldn’t help wondering again.
Did they tell her to give up on me, that I was the reason we were childless after fifteen years of trying?
He knew it wasn’t true, but was sure they blamed him all along.

              He kicked off his white tennis-shoes and headed slowly down the hallway to the kitchen. A part of him hoped that when he went upstairs he would find Anna lying in bed fast asleep. Over the years, she seemed to pull away from him and gravitate back to her family for support. No matter what he did, or how much he tried to comfort her and reassure her that they would have a family of their own soon, she never seemed to believe him. He couldn’t blame her. He barely believed it himself.

              His stomach gave a growl as he opened the refrigerator. It was full of juice, milk, beer, vegetables, fruit, lunch meat, leftovers, everything for the makings of a four a.m. snack. But nothing his eyes scanned over appealed to him. He reached out for a beer, but then pulled back again.

              “Fuck it,” he said softly to break the silence.

              He trudged up the stairs to his empty bedroom and collapsed on top of the comforter. His body ached with exhaustion. The urge to take off his sweaty scrubs and shower drifted further away until he was fast asleep.

              Lee Hickey opened his eyes and looked around. The house was still dark, despite the feeling of having slept for half a day. He brushed his hair away from his face and sat up slowly. A sharp pain shot through his neck and up into his head. He rubbed at it as he stood up.

              “Anna?” he called out once he reached the door. “Are ya home?”

              A strange sound echoed up the stairs. Lee rubbed at his tired eyes before heading down. With each step, the noise grew louder. It reminded him of an infant’s muffled cry, but he knew that couldn’t be it. His wife had to be watching TV.

              “Anna?”

              Still no answer.

              He wandered into the kitchen first. There were no signs that his wife had been home. Everything was exactly as he’d left it before he fell asleep. He pushed the swinging door to the living room open and stopped on the other side.

              The living room was no longer his. Lee squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, but the scene didn’t change. The couch was gone. The television was gone. Everything that had made his house a home was no longer there. Instead, there was a single wooden rocking chair in the center of the darkened room. A woman sat with her back to Lee, slowly moving back and forth.

              He wanted to call out to Anna—it was undoubtedly her. The thick waves in her brown hair were unlike anyone else’s—but he found his mouth stubbornly sealed. The only sound in the room was the creaking of old wood as the chair rocked endlessly.

              And then he heard it again—the squeal of a newborn. There was no mistaking it this time. Lee’s eyes grew wide as he stared ahead.

Though his lips would not part to speak, his legs moved him forward without him telling them to. The hairs on his arms stood on end as an unbearable feeling of dread sank into the pit of his stomach like a rock.

He found himself standing beside the woman.

“Anna?” His voice was raspy. “Sweetheart, are ya OK?”

              The chair stopped instantly. Lee’s exhaled quick, shallow breaths as he waited. She didn’t turn to look at him, and didn’t say a single word. The cries from whatever she held in her arms grew louder until he couldn’t take it anymore.

              He lunged forward to stand in front of her. With her head down, her face was hidden in the shadows of her dark hair. The desperate urge to see her blue-green eyes overwhelmed Lee. She continued to look down at the squawking bundle in her arms as if her husband weren’t there.

              Lee reached out and took the baby in his arms. Anna didn’t fight him to hold onto it. She continued to sit with her head down, her hands folded in her lap. Slowly, Lee unwrapped the dirtied blue blanket. It seemed to go on forever, never revealing what it was his wife had wrapped so tightly in there. As he removed the last bit of cloth, it fell to the floor.

              The crying had stopped. In his arms he held nothing.

              All at once, he understood what was happening. He’d had similar nightmares like this before, all involving a crying child he could never find, though none had been in his own home before and none had felt so real. Tears gathered in his eyes. He forced them back down as he lowered his cradled arms. He gave a loud sniff that shattered the new heavy silence of the room.

              He wiped at his eyes with the backs of his hands. “This isn’t real”, he kept telling himself in a hushed tone. “This isn’t real.”

When his eyes were finally cleared he looked to his wife. His breath caught in his chest. A shiver ran down arms.

              “Anna?” he asked hushed, as if he spoke too loud she would break into a million pieces.

              She was no longer looking down, but staring forward. Black tears stained her porcelain cheeks like two thick rivers. Her mouth was wrenched opened as wide as it could go, but not a single sound escaped.

              Lee lowered himself and placed both hands on her shoulders cautiously. “Anna?” he said again softly.

              Her face remained petrified except for her eyes, which moved slowly from the spot in the corner until they found Lee.

He held his breath. He didn’t dare make a move. What he was afraid of, he didn’t know. This was his wife. She would never hurt him. But as he continued to stare into her unsettling face, he realized it wasn’t himself he was afraid for…it was for her.

              “Anna, honey—”

              The room filled with an unearthly shriek. Lee fell back and covered his ears with his hands. When he opened his eyes, he saw his wife still frozen, her eyes widened, her cheeks stained, and her mouth agape. The only difference was he could finally hear her scream.

IV.

              Lee shot up in bed, sweat pouring down his face and neck. His chest heaved heavily as he looked around. Sun shone through the blinds he had forgotten to close. He looked around to make sure everything was as it should be. Only then did his breathing soften.

              “You’re finally up!”

              Lee jumped off the bed, his heart racing again.

His wife was leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded across her chest. Her face was warm and smiling. “Come on downstairs. I made you eggs and coffee.” She turned and headed for the stairs before he could say anything.

              Lee rushed after her. He leaned over the banister to see her bounce down to the kitchen in that perfect way she always did. It took every ounce of effort to push the nightmare from his mind as he followed her down. His hands ran through his damp hair ceaselessly until he reached the bottom.

              “In here, silly,” she called out.

              Lee stood in the empty kitchen. The strong scent of coffee wafted up his nostrils. He stared at the door to the living room.

              “Come on, Lee! I have something I want to show you.” Her sweet voice beckoned to him.

              When he pushed the door opened, he couldn’t breathe. He was sure his heart had stopped.

              “Surprise!” Anna called out.

              Tears collected in the corners of Lee’s eyes as he took in the site of pink balloons and a banner over the fireplace.

It was a girl. Anna was pregnant.

All restraint left him. Tears streamed down his face. With three great strides, he moved to his wife and picked her up in his arms to hug her close.

              “I didn’t want to get your hopes up by telling you too early in case it didn’t stick, and—”

              He cut her off when he planted his lips firmly onto hers. All his worries lifted. Her parents’ hatred for him no longer mattered. He was going to be a father.

              When he pulled back he saw that Anna was crying as well. Her mascara mixed with her tears to run down her cheeks. He was momentarily unsettled by déjà vu. With the excitement of the news, he had forgotten the dream, but somewhere in the farthest recesses of his mind it lingered.              She flicked the tears away with a smile. “How about that coffee?” she said with a breathy laugh. “I can have a small cup.”

              Lee used the ends of his work-shirt sleeves to wipe beneath his wet eyes. He stared down at his wife softly. “I love you so much,” he said firmly, slowly, impressing his emotions into every syllable.

              “You’re happy, then?”

              “I’ve never been happier.”

              Anna stood on her tiptoes to brush a strand of his dark hair away from his eyes. “You know this means we’ll be seeing a lot of more of my parents, right? It’s their first and possibly only grandchild.”

              Nothing could damped the feeling of joy in Lee’s heart. “Well, then, I guess they’re just goin’ to have to get used to me.”

              She flashed him a toothy grin as she craned her neck to look into his glistening eyes. “Yes, they will.”

              With a quick glance, Lee looked down at his watch. It was a quarter past eleven. “Dammit. I’m due back at the hospital soon.”

              “Why don’t you head upstairs and shower and I’ll put your coffee in a to-go cup.”

              All he wanted to do in that moment was cut himself off from the world and spend the day celebrating with his wife. It pained him to have to turn away, but he did. With a sigh he marched upstairs, a euphoric smile still plastered on his face.

              “You know, they should build a statue of you in that place for all the extra hours you put in!” she called after him.

V.

The emergency room was busy again, but nothing unusual for a weekend afternoon. Lee Hickey went into his next patient’s room, chart in hand, and sat down at the small corner desk. His mind still lingered on the fact that he was going to be a father. In between patients he texted back and forth with Anna while they contemplated names for their little princess. A smile played at the corners of his lips the entire day.

              “Hello, there...” Lee scanned the chart quickly, “…Mr. Talbot. Tell me wha’ happened,” he said without looking up from the clipboard.

              “Well, this man came out of nowhere and he, um, bit me?” he said confused, as if unsure what really happened.

He held out his arm to show the broad nurse his wound. Lee didn’t look, but wrote down what Johnathan Talbot said while shaking his head. His messy hair grazed his shoulders.

“Not again,” he huffed. “You’d swear it was Halloween already.”

              “A lot of people getting bit by other people on Halloween?” Johnathan asked with a laugh.

              “You wouldn’t bleedin’ believe. You’re our third bite patient today, though.”

Lee stood up, towering over the man, finally let his eyes rest on him. They fixated on Johnathan’s arm and grew to perfect circles. He searched for something to say, but all he could do was stand there in unabashed shock.

              Johnathan, a blue-collar man of thirty-eight, held his left arm in his right hand. Bright red blood dripped from a gaping wound in his forearm. The white of bone in the center of the massive, round crater could be seen. The man should have been shouting, crying, cursing, something other than smiling up at Lee as if nothing was wrong.

“You know, it’s the weirdest thing. Hurt like a bitch when it happened, but now I can’t feel anything. I do feel tired and a little sick, though. Dizzy. Do you think he gave me something when he bit me?” He held up his arm for closer examination.

              Lee immediately turned to the door. “Your doctor will be with you shortly,” he said as steady as he could.

Sweat started to form on his thick brow. He exited the room, closing the door behind him. His body went limp against the wall as he shut his eyes. All he saw was red. They sprang back open.

              In all the years he’d been a nurse at Porter Memorial Hospital, he thought he’d seen everything. He’d certainly seen worse than a chunk of arm missing. It was the fact that another man’s mouth had done the damage that got to Lee.

As he closed his eyes again, he imagined what the man who bit Johnathan had done with the flesh and muscle he ripped away. Had he swallowed it? Suddenly, Lee felt nauseous.