Dead and Dead Again: Kansas City Quarantine (23 page)

“Ammo won’t hold out as long,”
Calvin said, being the realist.

The others laughed when they got
it.

“Hedgehog.” Scaggs said.

“Yes!” Gus cried, kissing her on
the lips. In what was a surprisingly touching moment under the circumstances,
each paused to look deeply into the eyes of the other as if for the first time.

“That’s not meaner than a Warthog,
though,” Athena pointed out.

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to be
offended or not…” Hephaestus mused.

“Not. No, of course not,” Scaggs assured
him a little too desperately, though perhaps her blood was actually pumping a
little faster this time from Gus’ kiss rather than the Greek millionaire’s mere
existence.

“I would have said
Porcupine
,”
Tripper suggested.

“That’s a rodent, and a herbivore. And
they can’t really shoot those needles.”

“I…did not know that,” Tripper
admitted.

“A Hedgehog is no hunter, but it’s
no wimp either. With Hedgehog, you still get the hog for the nod to the games with
the spines of the porcupine to match the nails of our guns. And like the
animal, this is armored.
And
we’ll be out rooting through many hedges of
undead for our friends. And if we get into trouble, we’re probably going to go
to ground and hide in a burrow until we can find a way out. I know Wolverines
and Honey Badgers are better creatures for cool naming—fiercer and what-not—but
I think they’ve been used too much. Plus, you only get up to two syllables for
a car. It’s The Law.”

“And the award for the longest
explanation in history for a car name that no one cares about goes to…” Gus
handed her an invisible statue and she curtseyed sweetly.

“Fair enough,” Tripper agreed. “Two
Syllables. Although I once drove a vehicle with a long history that went by the
name of the
Babylon
Cruiser
because the last three numbers on its
VIN were 666. That thing was put through hell and somehow kept running. But
Babylon
Cruiser
, that’s like six syllables or something.”

“Five,” Felicia and Sarah said
together.

“Sorry, Festus,” Tripper clapped
him on the shoulder with an open palm. “Unless you’ve got something else in
mind it looks like you built yourself a
Hedgehog
.”

“Very well. Although I would think
Babylon
Cruiser
is a more appropriate name. Perhaps I will suggest it for the
vehicle name in
Aftermath 2025
.  I will have to look up this Hedgehog animal
and see if I have been insulted.”

“You won’t be too disappointed,”
Scaggs said with some actual confidence. “I expect you to call me and apologize
for your doubt. If we still have phones then, that is.”

“Oh yes!” Hephaestus cried out,
reaching into a pouch he wore around his waist. “Everyone needs to have one of
these.”

He handed Calvin and Tripper each a
handful of dull black ear pieces with little accompanying belt-clip boxes and
the pair passed them around to the others. Calvin kept a few sets and put them
into his jacket pocket.

“This is part of my own satellite
communication system. We can speak with each other on a closed channel that no
one else can overhear or block.”

“You guys even have your own Q!”
Scaggs squealed. “Can I be double-oh-seven? I mean, I auditioned for Double Dee
Seven once, but that project fell through. I didn’t really have the equipment,
anyway, thanks mom.”

Gus laughed. Most of the others
smiled.

Calvin rubbed his chin. “We need to
get going. Trip, get behind the wheel,” he said finally. “You’re driving.”

“Right, Scoot. ‘Bout time I finally
get a car.”

“She is not yours,” Hephaestus hit
a button on the wall and stopped the spinning floor just as the vehicle lined
up with the room through which they had entered, his guest garage. “So take
care of her and bring her back unharmed.”

“We’re going to want everyone to
try driving at some point,” Calvin informed them. “We don’t have the time right
now, and maybe we’ll find out later that it doesn’t matter. But let’s make it a
plan. Quinn, do you mind going with us for this one last trip?”

“I guess a deal is still a deal,”
the big man agreed.

“Sorry, Hephaestus. Can you just
get all of your projects ready for the two person stuff and work only on the
one-person projects?”

“Yes, Calvin. I have
plenty
of one-person tasks to do. That is the reason I wanted another one-person.”

“Ah, sorry about that. But I think we’ll
need both vehicles out there and he won’t let us drive the ambulance.”

“Well…”the big Armorer hesitated.

“Sorry, no time to teach anyone how
to drive it,” Calvin said quickly, walking to the door. “And we really need his
arm anyway. Can’t hang around all day talking and wasting time, ooh, speaking
of time, we have to go,”

Hephaestus grinned. “One more trip
would not hurt, I think. I will have everything laid out when you return. It
will go much faster if I have a plan,” he promised.

“Great,” Calvin clapped his hands
together. “I think, we may need the main party to all jump out somewhere and I would
rather not have the driver getting out unless absolutely necessary, unless it’s
Gus, who’s probably in the best shape of us all, so…Sarah and Joel on the
turrets. You’re the smallest, quickest, most acrobatic, and best shots. You two
should be able to turn the turrets faster because of your height, and you can
unload yourself in a hurry as well. At least, much faster than me.”

No one said anything, so he kept
going.

“Tripper will drive the
Hedgehog
.
That leaves me, Athena, Gus, Felicia and Scaggs as the main party. And just
Athena, Felicia and myself once you two are gone,” he pointed at Gus and
Scaggs. Trip, you may need to jump out to help as well,” he amended. stumping

“Right.”

“Athena, I think you’d better ride
shotgun with Quinn.”

“Ok. I was thinking someone should,
because we’ll be losing Gus and Scaggs.”

“If necessary, I can jump out and
help as well,” Quinn pointed out. “I’m big, but not entirely slow.”

“Ok, get in and let’s go save our
friends,” Calvin ordered, fitting the earpiece around his ear and telescoping the
tiny, nearly invisible mic halfway down his cheek.

“Do you not want to know how to use
this, first?” Hephaestus asked, holding out a large bag.

“What is it?”

“It is the camera equipment you’ll
be setting up.”

“Oh, right.”

They waited another ten minutes for
Hef to show Gus and Scaggs how to set up the equipment while Trip and Athena
played with the operating program on the laptop he gave them.

 “We’ll take Holmes to 31
^st
.
It runs parallel to the parade route,” Calvin informed them energetically as
Tripper pulled the Hedgehog around the Ambulance in the little garage, the new
rubber tires squealing on the tile like a squeegee on a dry windshield.

“Roger that. Over,” Athena said
from the Ambulance.

“Let’s hope the worst parts have
rolled past us already, over,” Trip noted casually.

“Keep close back there when we get
going, Quinn,” Calvin ordered the man.

“I got you, leader, Over,” Quinn
responded.

“You guys, we’re on a direct
channel. We don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing us,” Calvin said in
exasperation.

“And?” Athena asked. “Over.” She
added.

“
And
you don’t have to say
‘over’ after each transmission. Just talk normal.”

“Oh. Ok. I thought we were going to
try and do this like professionals,” Athena responded in a huff, but he could
hear her and Quinn laughing and mumbling about him. Though, as badly muffled as
their voices were, they had at least tried to cover their mics.

“Just…c’mon you guys. There is
serious stuff going on around here. Can we try to act like we’re not all back
in high school?”

“Just trying to keep it light,”
Athena replied. “Maybe we all need to laugh a little. This isn’t un-scary, Calvin,”
she admitted.

“Fair enough,” Calvin yielded.
“Let’s get out of here.”

“Seatbelts.” Sarah said flatly,
belting into her turret.

The others looked at her with
varying degrees of incredulity.

“Safety first,” she said.

“We need to go,” Scooter demanded.

“Click it or…flip it,” she said
lamely putting her middle finger up.

“Let’s go.” Calvin repeated firmly.

“We can’t just let the laws of
society fall to the wayside just because our culture has hit a little snag,
Calvin Hobbes,” she explained. “Don’t shake your heads at me,” she hissed to
the others.

Tripper started the engine and put
it in gear.

“What if we have to hit one of
these things at a high rate of speed?” she continued quickly, pressing her
point. “How much do you weigh, Scooter? About one-eighty?” But she didn’t wait
for an answer. “What is that multiplied by fifty miles an hour? Let me see if I
can remember the math…”

But Calvin was very good at math.
And he had never been partial to pancakes and still remembered that film
Blood
on
the
Highway
.

“Fine,” he conceded. “We won’t last
long if we are wounded or dying out there on the streets. Safety first. Click
em, guys.”

“I was clicked the whole time,”
Quinn said.

“Me too,” Athena added.

The Hedgehog moved out and Quinn accelerated
behind them at just under two car-lengths.  Hephaestus hit the close button on
his remote even before they were clear and stood waving until they were out of
sight, just like his grandmother had taught him.

A few blocks away Tripper turned
onto Holmes.

“There’s some good news, at least,”
Gus announced to no one in particular.

“What’s that?” Athena eventually asked,
mainly because she knew he would pout until someone asked him.

“No waiting at the DMV today.”

The group watched the building roll
by with mixed emotions, its dusty-white exterior window-pocked like the moon’s cratered
surface. Like the Moon’s surface, surrounded by dark asphalt parking lots in
lieu of the dark of space itself, there was no discernible movement within
sight of the bulky building. It lingered there throwing its mere resolute existence
in their faces, inert but foreboding, like a solitary tombstone in an empty
grid of the cemetery, or again, like the full moon in a clear midnight sky. And then it was gone, behind them and only a memory, daylight come at last.

“That was weird,” Tripper said,
trying to shake off an eerie feeling as they crossed the highway overpass of
I-670, crawling along at a mere twelve mph, the entire group on edge. Everyone peered
into every passing window and doorway for dead or signs of people hiding from
them, but so far they saw nothing.

“Think we could find any help
there?” Athena wondered aloud.

Tripper rested a foot on the brake.
“Should we stop?” he asked, braking anyway.

Quinn pulled up on their bumper and
held up his hands in an unspoken question.

“Where?” Scooter asked, looking
back at the ambulance to follow her eyes.

“Mark15 Strategic Research and
Design Agency,” She read. “Sounds like a military weapon factory or training
area.”

“In downtown?” Tripper asked in
disbelief.

“It’s not,” he replied knowingly.

“You sure? Maybe there’s more
underground.”

“I’m sure. They do graphics.”

“What?”

“Like title sequences and shorts.
Some special effects. They’re really kind of famous.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Well you wouldn’t have had a
reason to.”

“Why?”

“Because they make graphics. You
don’t use graphics. But that’s all they do. They don’t make weapons, secret or
otherwise.”

“But it says ‘Worldwide Ultraglobal
International Top Secret Superheadquarters’ on the sign.” Athena emphasized. “A
little overly-redundant, but sounds like a place the government would put in
plain sight hoping no one would get curious.”

“It’s not, babe” Scooter said
evenly, though his voice raised to an inflection nearing annoyance. “Festus has
used them in the past.”

Hopefully that would end it. She
usually believed any Hephaestus endorsement.

“So, you’re telling me that a man
who makes impossible, yet totally working weapons and high tech machines for Hollywood has to come here when he can’t do something and
that’s
why I
shouldn’t
believe this
isn’t
a secret test facility for weapons?”

“He uses them only for the video.”

“Oh, Video.
Video
!” she
shouted in understanding. “See,
you
said graphics,” she explained.
“Graphics could mean any of a dozen different things.”

“Video. Video graphics. It’s the
same thing”

“No,” she denied. “Not really.
Video is recorded naturally in ways I won’t bore you with now. Video,
basically, is multiple pictures taken in rapid succession and depicting an
actual occurrence as it unfolds over the time of the chosen exposure. Graphics
are what are added later to emphasize and or transform particular aspects of
the original video. Now, if you want to get into other kinds of graph—”

“—I meant video graphics,” Scooter
stopped her before she could start a seminar on the various types of video and
graphics. “Video title sequences like you find at the beginning and ending of a
movie.”

She paused, wondering if now was
the time to push her point until he stated firmly that he was in the wrong, but
eventually decided to drop it. It
was
the end of the world, after all. “Well
ok, I guess I just misunderstood what you meant.”

“No. No. It was
my
fault. I
misspoke,” he insisted in his best conciliatory tone.

“Fair enough,” she responded, honey
dripping from her voice at having received justification. He should have
qualified video graphics from the start.

“Either way,” he continued unfazed.
“I’m really not sure what they
have
in there, but I
am
sure they
don’t
have weapons.”

Athena watched with uncertainty as
the little one-level, brick-fronted building slid by. No one spoke for a few
blocks following the awkward exchange. The normalness of the moment had shocked
them—boyfriend and girlfriend having good-natured, everyday niggling as if
nothing had changed, like zombies weren’t real, the world not ending.

Still trolling slowly, the drivers
of the two vehicles paused at each corner to evaluate the area, everyone making
notes. Scooter had called it a ‘reconnoiter’ like he was in the military and
someone had laughed, but that’s what they were all calling it now. The caravan approached
a long uphill stretch of road flanked by Jersey Barriers. They were halfway
through it before Gus realized it was either a cheaply constructed temporary
bridge or the city was using the thicker K-rails as guardrails because of the
frequency of drive-offs.
I wonder which?
he wondered.

They passed an abandoned playground,
a solitary red-seated swing creaking in a gentle breeze.
Will any kids ever
play there again?
Athena asked the universe.

TMC, stated a large blue sign in
the middle of a split parking entryway
. Tubman Medical Center
, thought
Calvin.
I wonder how bad it is in there?
But the smoke billowing from
the broken second floor windows told him all he needed to know.
Medical supplies,
he noted on the board in his lap.

Jimmy Joe Bob’s Bar-B-Q and Catering
was written on the side of an abandoned overturned truck.
I’m really hungry,
Tripper realized.

Construction on 24
^th
.
When
isn’t there roadwork around here?
Sarah mused.

The familiar green façades of
The
Med Shed
and
Tacolali
passed on the right side.
Man, I’m kind of
hungry,
Joel rubbed his belly and sides and gave himself a pinch, looking
down to see the results.
Yep, still over an inch. I pass.

This guy smells awesome,
Scaggs
lay her head on Gus’ shoulder to cover a deep inhalation of his sweet man
scent.

I wonder if we should stop
somewhere and fill up some barrels of fuel now or wait until we have some place
to store it?
Quinn speculated.

“It’s Shock.” Scooter announced
into the silence.

“What is?” Athena eventually asked.

“The reason you’re all noticing
these odd things you wouldn’t normally see, like how green the grass is, or
wondering why you never drove to that place, tried that restaurant, how long
has that place been there? It’s shock.”

The others nodded in sudden
comprehension.

“And maybe still some of the
lingering effects of El Supremo this morning,” he joked, wishing he hadn’t left
his one-hitter at home.
I could sure use a smoke,
part of his brain
thought. But the rest of his faculties reminded him this wasn’t the time.
Later,
when we’re safe again
.

Everyone was surprised when they
entered the border neighborhoods. Actual live people were running around with
shopping carts full of foodstuffs and other supplies and escorts carried
weapons. And just as if they were in a low budget comedy, two dumb-asses were
running down the middle of the street with a 60” tv.

“Don’t you think food and water
would be a better option at this point, morons?” Tripper screamed through the closed
windows.

Bonfires burned around them on the street
corners and they could see gray-skinned arms and legs sticking out of several
of the blazing pyres. The denizens of each neighborhood had picked the oldest
and biggest vehicles and pulled them across the street, from the first house on
one side to the first house on the other across the side-streets, marking their
‘turf’ and basically walling them off. They left no openings into their
protected areas, but in the center of each was a ‘gate vehicle’ that they could
pull out to let people or vehicles in.

“Word must have spread on how to
deal with a zombie infestation,” Sarah noted.

Some of the braver gun-toters,
black trucker-hats turned to the side, started to approach the two vehicles,
but thought better of the idea as neither Joel nor Sarah failed to aim their
machine-gun-looking air turrets at the overly-curious groups. The vehicles were
allowed to pass unhindered, although begrudgingly.

“Guess they figure the end is
near,” Scooter muttered. “They’re digging in.”

“Gotta get what you can and hold it
until things smooth over,” Trip agreed.

“Might be hope after all,” Scaggs
said brightly. “Told you this town was special.”

“I wish we could help them,” Athena
noted softly.

“Help? Athena, if we stop there is
a high chance they’ll kill us and take our stuff.”

“You don’t know that.” She shot
back angrily.

“No, I don’t. But to keep us all
safe I have to act as if that is what would happen. We’ll help anyone who is in
obvious need. For the rest…I’m just hoping they keep giving us room to pass. I
don’t like the alternative.”

“I didn’t say we’d stop and get out
unarmed and paint targets on our chests or lay down on the street,” she argued.
“I just wish there was something we could do.”

“What we
can
do, we’re
already doing,” Calvin assured her.

Athena watched the last groups of
armed men pass by and safetied her rifle again with a sigh of relief.

“Hey, am I supposed to shoot them
next time?” Joel called down from the rear turret, forgetting the microphone
and nearly deafening them all with feedback.

“Just talk normal!” Calvin shouted,
hand over his mic watching the rest of the group take their ear pieces out and finger
their ears. Then into the mic he explained. “You don’t have to say over, and
you don’t have to shout. Just talk normal, everyone…
please
. And for the
record,” he added for Joel. “We shoot real people only if they come at us.”

 “What if I can’t do it?” Joel
whispered.

A cold fist opened in Calvin’s
chest at the thought of shooting living, un-infected humans, but they’d all
seen the movies and television shows and what happened down in New Orleans and the other disaster cities and one thing rang true time and again—some
people are just assholes.

“You can do it, Joel,” he
encouraged his friend. “Just remember that if you fail to act, everyone you
love will die.”