Dawn of Forever (Jack & Jill #3) (31 page)

“How did we get here?” she asked him. Her naked body draped over his. “You were going to marry me right after graduation. Football, long nights studying, and a dinky one-bedroom apartment off campus, remember?”

He kissed her head, relishing the feel of her flawless skin under his fingertips as he feathered them along her back. “I remember. Seems like a lifetime ago. My dad, your dad. I hated life, all of it except you.”

“Mickey?”

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you propose? You never even mentioned marriage again after the …
accident
.”

“What my father did to you was not an accident. I blamed myself. I still do.”

She sat up, straddling his waist. Sunny was a beautiful girl. He knew it from the first day he saw her. However, the woman she’d become, as impossible as it seemed, was infinitely more stunning.

“Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have …”

“What? Invited me to your house? Made love to me that afternoon? What, Mickey?”

Sliding his hands up her legs and letting them settle on the subtle curve of her hips, he drew in a long breath. “I blamed myself for loving you. The smart, beautiful angel I knew would never have been with anyone who didn’t love her. I didn’t deserve you then and I don’t …”

Sunny shook her head, long auburn hair brushing over her breasts—breasts that only he had touched. His hands owned every inch of her body.

“You deserved me then and you deserve me now. There’s no you and me, it’s only us. It’s always been us. How can you not see that? Six months. Your tour will end and
we
can officially begin. I want to be Mrs. Knox McGraw. I want to feel the flutter of the babies we’ll make.” She pressed his hand to her stomach. “I want a life, Mickey, and I want it with you. I’m so tired of waiting to breathe.”

“I want it too, baby. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. If we’re just patient, we can have the life we always dreamed of. I’ve been promoted again, and if I just commit to one more—”

“No!” She crawled off him and slipped on her robe, her hands fisting and cinching the sash as tight as it would go. “Not one more tour. Six months and not one day longer.”

“You don’t understand.”

The life in her eyes vanished under a cloud of anger as she narrowed them. “Don’t tell me I don’t understand. I didn’t go to college, but I’m far from stupid. My ability to ‘understand’ is perfectly fine. Not everything in life has to make sense, Mickey.
We
don’t make sense. We never have, but we’re the only thing in this crazy world that
feels
right. How can
you
be so stupid, so … blind?”

Tears filled her eyes. He sat up, his methodic thoughts warring with his body’s desire to grab her, kiss away her tears, and just
be
with her.

“Mickey…” her voice broke and so did the dam of tears “…
you
are everything I’ve ever wanted.
You
are the life I’ve always dreamed of. I don’t want the money. I want time. I want forever now, not another broken promise.”

“I know … I really do, baby. But what about what I want?”

Sunny pressed her fist to her lips, holding back a sob, then she sniffled. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “Somewhere over the past two decades I got the impression that you wanted
me
.”

That cut deep. Knox tilted his head to the side. “I do want you, but—”

“No. No buts. No more waiting. No more promises. Six more months, that’s what we agreed on after all the broken promises that came before that. I want to be your forever, not your fool.” She dressed, the same angry way she did the day his father died and
forever
changed for eternity. “Six months and not One. Day. Longer, Knox.”

The door closed to the bedroom. Six months. Tangled in sheets that smelled like her, he had no doubt that he’d end his military career in six months.

*

One year later …

The high that
came from being promoted, the accolades, the praise, the prestige … it numbed the pain of missing Sunny. Six months passed, but Knox knew he’d get her back. He’d show her that it was worth the wait … that
he
was worth the wait. Another year wouldn’t matter. What he didn’t expect was a bombing that sent shrapnel into his chest, missing his heart by less than six millimeters. Four of his men died that day.

Knox was sent stateside to recover. He didn’t want to worry Sunny, so he waited until he was discharged. As fate would have it, one of his former superiors, who left the military to take a job as a DEA agent, wanted to discuss Knox joining the DEA as well. Sunny would be ecstatic to hear of his new job opportunity. They could finally begin their forever—after a lot of groveling and sex. Lots of sex with Sunny.

“Sergeant Day.” Knox held out his hand as Sergeant Day stood from the table, giving the waitress a polite nod as she squeezed behind his chair.

“It’s Agent Day now, but tonight it’s just Grant. How are you, Knox?” He nodded to the chair next to his.

Knox gritted his teeth, trying not to show the pain he was still in as he eased into the chair. “I’m good. Just thankful to be alive.”

Grant nodded. “I hope you don’t mind, my fiancée will be joining us. A month ago she bought tickets for tonight’s symphony…” he looked at his watch “…which starts in ninety minutes. I forgot until she called me about a half-hour ago. She’s only mildly pissed off. Anyway, I just wanted to chat with you, kind of get a feel for your plans. I think you’d make an amazing agent. You’re smart, fearless—brutal when you need to be—and you have exemplary leadership skills, not to mention years of tactical training. From a hiring standpoint, it doesn’t get any better than that.”

“Are you officially offering me a job?”

Grant chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “No. I’m not that guy, but I have some pull. I like to surround myself with men I can trust. We recently lost an agent. He left some pretty big shoes to fill, and when I found out you were heading stateside again, it felt like perfect timing. If you even think you might consider it, I’d love for you to talk with my superior. I’ve already put in a good word for you.”

“Yes, I’m definitely interested. I have a lot of incentive to stay here now.”

Grant’s brows lifted a bit. “A woman?”

“
The
woman.”

Grant grinned. “Even better. And speaking of …” He stood, looking over Knox’s shoulder. “There’s the love of my life.”

Knox stood and turned.
His
sparkling eyes,
his
long auburn hair,
his
Sunny. When their eyes met, she stopped, crashing into the invisible wall between the present and the past. Her pink cheeks drained to white as Grant hugged her, brushing her hair off her neck and pressing his lips to the soft skin that had belonged to Knox. Not even shrapnel in his chest hurt as much as seeing her for the first time ever in the arms of another man for the first time ever.

“Knox, I want you to meet my Sunny.”

She was
not
his Sunny.

“Sunny, this is Knox McGraw. This guy is a goddamn hero. I had the pleasure of having him under my command for my final two years.”

“Mr. McGraw.” She held out her hand.

He didn’t want to shake her hand. He wanted to smash his lips to hers, rip off her clothes, and sink into her until she remembered that there wasn’t a ‘you or me … just an us.’ Mr. McGraw? Who the fuck was that? Mickey. She called him Mickey.

“Sunny.” The weak voice that spoke her name sounded foreign to his own ears. It was something he didn’t recognize. It was
him
without
her.

If there was a God he would have numbed the feeling of her hand in his, but he felt everything. Every touch. Every kiss. Every inch of her body in that one handshake.

“Grant?” She forced a smile.

He might not have noticed, but Knox did. Knox knew everything about that woman. Grant could spend eternity with her and he would not even come close to really knowing Knox’s giggling angel.

“I-I need to use the ladies’ room, if you’ll excuse me for a few minutes.”

“Sure.” He kissed her cheek.

Knox clenched his teeth as Sunny’s gaze stayed fixed to his.

She turned, weaving her way through the tables, her long white dress flowing behind her.

“I’m going to take off so you two can enjoy your evening.”

Grant held out his hand. “So you’ll consider coming in for an interview?”

Knox shook his hand, harder than necessary. “Of course.”

He traced Sunny’s path, stopping at the door of the women’s lounge as an older woman came out.

She smiled and nodded at him. He slipped inside. Teary eyes reflected in the mirror. He tore his gaze from hers and checked for anyone else. After he confirmed they were alone, he locked the door.

Sunny turned, mascara bled down her cheeks. “Mickey—”

“Shut up.” He took two steps. “Just shut up.” Palming the back of her head, he smashed his lips to hers.

She clawed his shirt, pulling him closer, their tongues desperate to reunite. He didn’t let her go. He couldn’t, not even when her soft moans turned into sobs. Sunny belonged to him. If he had to kiss the life out of her to prove it, to remind her … he would.

“St-stop!” Sunny fought to push him away. “I can’t.” She wiped her hands over her black-stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I messed up. I should have stayed, but I’m here now and I’m not going back.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.”

He cradled her face, bending down a breath away from her lips. “Bullshit! It’s not too late. How … how are you even with him? When did this happen?”

“A few days short of six months ago,” she said, her tone bitter, her words daggers to his heart. “I woke up alone. I pulled out the picture of you I kept under my pillow and I said, ‘Fuck you, Mickey’ as I tore it to pieces, the way you did to my heart. That night, I met Grant at the hotel bar.”

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on hers. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. You belong to me. I belong to you. It’s
us.
You said it yourself.”

“It’s too late.”

He rolled his forehead against hers. “No. It’s never too late.”

“It is.”

“I love you, Sunny. I’ll love you forever. Just—”

She rested her hands on his. Curling her fingers into his, she peeled them from her cheeks, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes.

“Mickey, I’ll love your forever too.”

A spark of hope ignited in his chest, bringing his heart back from the dead.

“But … it’s too late.”

“Sunny, stop saying—”

“I’m pregnant.”

*

Knight

“She wouldn’t have
married my father had she not been pregnant.”

Knox shrugged. “I know that’s not what you want to believe, but I had to believe it. It’s the only thing that kept me from swallowing the bullet of a .45 caliber.”

“So that’s it? She was pregnant with me and Jude. She chose my father because you chose your career. You took the job with the DEA and worked side-by-side with the man who took your life. Isn’t life a cruel bitch?”

“That it is.” He smirked. “The truth? Love is forever, yet waits for no one. He had her hand in marriage and her babies … but I had her heart. Always.”

“Is that why you raped her daughter?”

“Before Jude channeled his natural born killer instinct, he was her … all her. But you … you were both. Not just in the way you look, but your personality. It’s your dad one day and your mom the next. It’s just always been a constant reminder that they shared something that should have been mine. She was supposed to have my babies.”

He laughed. “I fucking hated you for showing weakness. It was your mother’s compassion showing through.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to see her in you because she was my greatest weakness.”

Jillian closed her eyes. His words stole her past, leaving a void. Maybe it was better to feel nothing about everything than to harbor the anger.

“Something changed. You treated me like shit during my training, but what you did after the kidnapping … that was different. That was so much more. Why?” Jillian,
Jessica,
needed to make sense of something. Knox’s story crushed her in so many ways.