David Mitchell: Back Story (44 page)

Well, I’m not moving forwards any more. For the first time in a long while I’m standing still.

Picture Section

The ageing process is terribly cruel.

The child of a thousand nervous faces

You’d have to be a sneering
Downton Abbey
sceptic to spot the anachronisms in my beloved ‘eighteenth-century king’ get-up. Today, His Majesty is holding the royal secateurs.

If you want to look cool, you first have to
feel
cool. You then have to do a lot of other things.

Despite the smile, I am bitterly aware that this outfit is humiliatingly baggy.

Here, I am guarding some nascent runner beans.

The Kilburn High Road: ‘The closer you look, the better it gets.’ This is a genuine slogan used by the council.

Me and my brother Dan, in 1987 and 2012. As you can see, the age gap has widened from eight years to about twenty.

My parents Kathy and Ian, photographed, as usual, in front of a Christmas tree. I should point out, however, that this tree is in my flat in Kilburn. There’s no way my dad would give houseroom to anything so wonky.

With Grandpa, my mum’s dad and my favourite person in the world at the time.

With Grandad, my dad’s dad. I’d rather be watching
Knight Rider
.