Davenport Harbor (Six Degrees Book 3) (20 page)

“
Shine?
”
She asked, her head tilting slightly.

“
Yeah.
”

“
And you two are?
”

“
I used to be one of her best members.
”
Fuck it
. It was better for her to know this shit now than later.

“
You dated hookers?
”

“
Escorts. And no.
”

“
No?
”

“
I didn
’
t date them,
”
I told her.

“
Oh.
”
She almost sighed in relief and I couldn’t help it. I told her the truth.

“
I fucked them.
”

“
Oh,
”
she said, her eyes wide, eyebrows elevated. She was probably shocked at my crassness, but it was better for her to know. I had to lay it out so she didn
’
t have some rose-colored idea of me.

“
I told you I wasn
’
t a good man.” I took another step back, my body yelling at me for putting the space between us. I watched her slide down the counter slowly, patting her butt, her eyes not really meeting mine. Not that I was looking directly at her.

“
I
’
m...I
’
ll be in my office,
”
I muttered, not knowing what to say or do. All I knew was that she
’
d talked about her shit ex and I had told her about whom I used to see.

Sitting at my desk, looking out the window, I couldn
’
t concentrate. Thankfully, Bernadette was an angel and had everything under control in the office. I closed my eyes, my hands in fists at the memory of my kitten on the couch spread out just for me. Sighing, shaking my head, I opened my eyes. Rubbing my face, I realized how stupid I was. What the hell had I been thinking telling Anne I used to see escorts? I had never slept with a woman overnight, had never been in love, and had slept with escorts. She was probably thinking she
’
d gone from one mess into chaos. I was walking mayhem. I was forty-three years old and not worth her time.

Anne

The morning and afternoon flew by, and John didn
’
t come back down. I’d cleaned and cooked and had played with a now napping Zoey. I watched as he walked and spoke to a security company that came out to take a look at the guest house. The one thing he didn
’
t do was come back to see me.

The more I tried not to think about John, the more my thoughts flew to him. Had he left because of Blake? Because of what I’d told him or because of what he had shared about the women he used to see? The more I thought about it, the more questions arose. What had happened for a man like John Davenport to shut himself off from caring?

I
’
d seen him with his friends. He cared about them, but he didn
’
t let them get close. He hardly let anyone know how he felt. He
’
d hinted he
’
d fallen in the past. I wondered what had broken a strong man like him. Keeping him from reaching for something more than what he had. What made him live in a massive old house, all alone, without neighbors? It made me sad for him. It made me want to give him something. But I wasn
’
t sure I was strong enough, or if I had anything to give at all.

Glancing at a sleeping Zoey and the gentle way her chest moved as she breathed in and out, I wondered what was best for her. Growing up, I hadn
’
t been particularly close to my parents, but my grandmother had been my best friend. She always used to tell me to live, to dream big, and never stop. She was a straight-talker and never sugar-coated things. Closing my eyes, I could see her brushing my hair and telling me,
“
Annie, if dreams don
’
t come true, do not be afraid to make new dreams.
”
Opening my eyes, I looked at Zoey then glanced up the stairs.
New dreams
. Something came over me. I didn’t know what, I just knew that one foot moved in front of the other, and suddenly, I was standing at the doorway of John’s study about to knock on the door that was slightly open. From where I was standing I could see his rugged profile. His face was covered with dark stubble, he probably hadn
’
t shaved since Friday night, but it looked good on him. It made his square jaw look more pronounced. His dark eyes were staring out the window. I wondered what he was thinking about, and without a second thought, I knocked.

His eyes met mine, but he didn’t say anything. I had no doubt that John Davenport could make a killing playing poker the way he never gave anything away.

“
Hi.
”

“
Hey.
”

“
Can I come in?
”
I asked, putting my hands into the pockets of my jeans, and he nodded.

“
I
…”
Not sure what to say, I licked my lips, then chickened out,
“
Are you hungry?
”

“
Hungry?
”

“
You didn
’
t eat lunch, or breakfast. You
’
ve been up here all day. I was just
—”

“
I
’
m fine. Thank you, though,
”
he told me, and I looked at his hands holding on to the armrest. I thought about how talented those hands were, about the strength they had, yet the gentle way they touched.

“
Did you come up here because of who Zoey
’
s dad is and now you
’
re freaked out about it?
”
I blurted out, heat rushing over my face.

“
No,
”
he responded, his face still not giving anything away. I hated it. Biting my thumb, I looked at his dark eyes studying me.

“
I have been away from Blake for a year and a half.
”

“
Anne.
”

“
No. I
…
I would like to tell you this. I need you to understand. I know that it might seem like eighteen months away from him was not much time, but it was. You see, in those eighteen months I went through a pregnancy and became a mom. A single mom. Raising a child on your own changes you.
”
Stepping forward until I was in front of his desk, I just kept talking.
“
I put myself back together. I know I was broken on the inside before, but having Zoey gave me purpose. She gave me the strength to put myself back together. It wasn
’
t easy, and it was scary as hell. Thankfully, I found a good place to work, a great lady that owned the diner, Mrs. Garcia. She could see that I was running from something and she gave me a chance. I put myself back together, John. I had to. Not just for me, but for my little girl. I don
’
t regret keeping Zoey away from him or his family. I know I did the right thing.
”

“
You most definitely did.
”
He surprised me and I frowned.

“
You confuse me.
”

“
Why is that, Kitten?
”

“
Why did you leave the kitchen this morning?
”

“
You needed time to think about the kind of man I am.
”
The anger and frustration I was feeling towards him shutting himself off disappeared, and I stood still, hoping he would share more.

“
You don
’
t need to get close to a man like me. I think we both know that. I
’
m forty-three, you
’
re what? Twenty-four?
”

“
Twenty-six.
”
He looked at me. I
’
d obviously surprised him.

“
I
’
m too old for you,
”
John clipped and looked away from me. If I wasn
’
t so I annoyed at him I
’
d laugh.

“
Are you serious?
”

“
Yes.
”
His eyes came back to me.
“
Nick fucking Riley is too fucking old, too.
”

“
Nick
’
s a nice guy,
”
I remarked, trying not to smile at how cute he was when he got jealous.

“
Yeah. He would probably be good at having a relationship.
”

“
Maybe,
”
I mumbled,
“
He seems like the kind to be very communicative and open.
”
I could feel his eyes on me.

“
What?
”
He asked and I looked at him.

“
He
’
s talkative and gentle.
”
I didn’t look away as I kept talking,
“
But he doesn
’
t make me want to argue,
” I said with
a smile on my lips. The confusion was clear on his face as my eyes moved to meet his.

“
What?
”

Swallowing hard as I stepped around his desk, I took a chance. I pulled his chair back and knelt in front of him, my hands on his knees. He looked down at me, his eyes hopeful for a quick second, but the hope was instantly replaced with unreadable coldness.

“
A couple of days ago, you told me you wanted to fight with me. I want to fight with you, too. I like it when we banter, it
’
s fun. I know that it
’
s safe and not dangerous to do it. You
…
you might be a little older, but I don
’
t think of it as something negative. John, I like you.
”

John

“
I like you.
”
Her big eyes looked up at me, her voice was soft. I tried to keep my shit together and not just grab her and hold her close. I sat still.

“
John? Did you hear me?
”
Worry filled her eyes as her hands started to leave my lap. I instantly covered them with mine.

“
You need to be sure.
”
My voice was husky and my skin was too warm.

“
I am,
”
she said. Two words. Two fucking words and they were breaking me apart.

“
You need to know the kind of man I am.
”

“
Were,
”
she quickly responded, and I was caught by surprise.
How does she do that?
No one ever does that.

“
You haven
’
t been there since the night of the storm, have you?
”
She asked as my heart was beating hard. I shook my head.
“
Why?
”
She asked, and I pulled her up, settling her on my lap, noting the perfect way we fit together.

“
I couldn
’
t.
”
My voice sounded slightly hoarse.

“
You like me, too.
”
The softness in her voice was a tease to my self-control.

She smiled at me. Something so simple, yet taken for granted so many times. But I knew the sincere feeling behind it. I was in the presence of a priceless treasure. Her face brightened, and I couldn’t help but trace the smooth skin down her jaw with the pad of my thumb. My hands were aching to touch her, to hold her, to feel her any way possible.

“
More than I should.
”
Breathing in deeply, she curled up into my arms, her face in my neck.

“
This is pretty complicated,
”
she stated, her still soft and sweet voice doing things to my mind.

“
Us?
”
Us? What the hell is wrong with me!
I was the last thing she needed. She was not what I needed. I needed space and control and...

“
Yeah,
”
she sighed, and just like that, my mind blanked.

All the voices that had been screaming at me to push her away and stop this went silent. Her breath tickled the skin at my neck. My chest and something else inside of me tightened.

“
I don
’
t think it
’
s too complicated. We get to know one another, date
—”

“
John, it
’
s not safe for
—”

“
I
’
ll take care of Downey.
”
Her body stiffened in my arms, and I rubbed her shoulder.
“
Not like that. I
’
ll make it clear you are off limits. I
’
ll talk to his dad. Trust in me that I
’
ll handle it. You don
’
t have to worry about anything anymore. Not about Blake fucking Downey at least,
”
I confidently told her, and she nodded into my neck.

“
Okay.
”

“
Thank you for telling me about him.
”
She nodded, her body soft and snuggled close into mine. I smiled, feeling better than I had all day. My kitten was in my arms.
“
How about some dinner?
”

“
It
’
s ready downstairs,
”
she said, and I kissed her forehead.

John

The week unfortunately passed in a blur. I hardly saw Anne and Zoey.

After dinner on Monday, Zoey
’
s teething that had started earlier that day worsened, and I made Anne stay with me at the house, hoping that I could help her. Luckily, around four in the morning, Zoey fell asleep, the three of us in my bed completely exhausted. Opening my eyes after nine that morning, I snuck out, called Bernadette and asked her to find someone to deliver all three meals to the house and telling her that I would be in the office in a couple of hours. Unfortunately, my plans hadn’t worked out. Not twenty minutes later, just as I was finishing up responding to pressing e-mails, Bernadette called with a problem that I had to take care of in the office.