Daughter of Jerusalem (5 page)

Daniel and I slipped away to the empty courtyard.

“This way,” he said, leading me to the door of one of the storerooms. He pushed it open and we stepped inside.

The room was filled with the barrels used for packing fish, and the smell of wood and dust was strong in the air. Daniel left the door open a crack so we could see each other.

The expression on his face as he looked down at me was unlike any I had seen before. His nose looked sharper, almost like a hawk’s beak, and his eyes wore a strangely intense expression.

“What has happened?” My voice trembled despite my efforts to sound calm.

“Samuel wants to marry you,” he said. “That’s what he told me after you left. The rutting old goat, he wants to
marry
you!”

I stared at him in horror. “But he’s never liked me, Daniel! Remember how I once asked you what I might have done to offend him?”

Daniel laughed harshly. “He was afraid to look at you. He lusted
after you, and he was married to another woman. You were a temptation to him. That’s why he never looked at you.”

I shuddered at the thought of Samuel lusting after me. “What are we going to do, Daniel? I can’t marry Samuel!”

He reached out and pulled me close. I rested my cheek against his linen tunic and felt the beating of his heart. I put my arms around his waist and held him tightly.

He said my name and I looked up at him. He bent his head and kissed me.

We had kissed before, but this was different. This kiss was full of urgency, full of need. This was a kiss I could feel all the way down in my stomach. My head fell back, and he cupped a hand behind it to support me. His strong young body was pressed against mine, and I was dizzy with what he was making me feel.

“Mary.” His voice was husky and shaking. “This isn’t right.” He put both his hands on my upper arms and put me away from him. His grip was so hard it hurt me. “I should not have kissed you like that.”

“It felt right to me.” I lifted my chin, daring him to disagree.

A flash of amusement flitted across his tense face. “I love it when you raise your chin like that.” He drew a deep, steadying breath. “I love all of you, my beloved.”

“I love you too, Daniel. I have always loved you.”

His face took on the dangerous aspect it had worn in the courtyard. He looked out the cracked door and said, “I would like to murder Samuel.”

“You can’t hurt Samuel! That would make everything worse.”

It never occurred to me that, if it came to blows, Samuel was much heavier than Daniel and would undoubtedly be the victor. The way Daniel looked . . . it never occurred to me at all.

He straightened to his full height. “I’ll speak to my father about us. I’ll tell him how we feel, that we wish to be married someday. I won’t allow you to be married to Samuel.”

From the courtyard Leah’s voice sounded, calling my name.

Daniel said, “Go out first. I’ll wait for a bit. We don’t want anyone to see us come out of here together.”

I bit my lip, gave him another fearful look, and slipped out the door.

Neither Samuel nor Daniel appeared at supper that night, but as Ruth and I were walking toward the kitchen to help with the dishes, she hissed in my ear and pushed me into the closet where the Passover supper pots and plates were kept. All the precious dishes were lovingly wrapped in linen and carefully stacked.

Esther kept a ritually clean kitchen at all times, but for Passover she had special, treasured dinnerware. Unlike the stories I had heard in Judea about Galileans, she was very strict about following the dietary laws.

Ruth and I stood close together in the small closet, whispering so as not to be heard by anyone passing by. “My mother told me that this afternoon Samuel asked Lord Benjamin if he could marry you!”

My heart began to race. “What did Lord Benjamin answer?”

“He said no.”

My relief was so intense that my knees almost gave way. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,” I said fervently.

Ruth was looking bewildered. “How ever did Samuel come to do such a thing, Mary? You always complained he didn’t like you.”

I told her about what had occurred that afternoon in the courtyard.
“I was terrified. Samuel was so close to me, and his eyes were glittering in a horrible way. He looked as if he wanted to eat me up.” I shuddered. “Then he touched my hair.”

“No . . .” Ruth breathed in shocked sympathy. “That’s disgusting. How did you get away?”

“Daniel came into the courtyard.”

Ruth’s mouth opened in a big O. She seemed torn between fascination and terror. “What happened then?”

I swallowed. “They had a big argument. Oh, Ruth, I thought they were going to punch each other! Then Daniel told me to take the children inside, and I did.”

Even to Ruth, I didn’t think I should mention my later meeting with Daniel in the storeroom.

Ruth patted my arm. “Well, you can consider yourself safe from Samuel. Lord Benjamin has already made plans for him. He’s been negotiating for Samuel to marry Naomi, the daughter of Saul bar Levi.”

Saul bar Levi had one of the biggest fishing fleets in Magdala; his daughter would be a good match for Lord Benjamin’s heir.

“Was Lord Benjamin angry with Samuel?”

“If he was, he’ll get over it. It wasn’t your fault that Samuel made a fool of himself.”

I prayed she was right.

“There is one more thing, though . . .”

The expression on her face alarmed me. “What?”

“My mother also told me that Lord Benjamin expects to collect a big bride price for you. She said that two well-placed men from the town have already inquired about getting you for their sons.”

I had never seriously thought that I might be the object of marriage
offers. I knew that the young men in town admired my looks, but their fathers would be looking for more than just a pretty face.

The Jewish custom was that the prospective husband’s family had to pay a bride price to his prospective in-laws as compensation for the loss of her services to their household. However, the wife was also expected to bring something to the husband’s family. Social status and sterling housewifely skills were the minimum a family would require before parting with a substantial bride price.

I said, “Your mother must be wrong. Why would any father want to pay to bring me into his family?”

Ruth said, “Those boys want you for the same reason that Samuel wanted you. And there will probably be others.”

“No,” I said. “No and no and no. This can’t be true.”

Ruth took my two hands and looked into my eyes. “Mary, listen to me. I’m not your friend because you’re beautiful; I’m your friend because I like you. You’re generous and kind and funny and fun to be with. But men aren’t always interested in those things. They think of something else when they look at a woman.”

I thought of Samuel’s glittering eyes, and suddenly I was angry. “A Jewish man is supposed to think about a woman’s wifely qualities. When the scriptures talk about a wife, they say that ‘charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting.’” I lifted my chin. “A Jewish man is supposed to wed a woman whose housewifely accomplishments are richer than the ‘finest of pearls.’ That’s what the scriptures say!”

“That may be true, but remember, they also tell us that Jacob preferred Rachel over Leah because Rachel was so beautiful. And David had Bathsheba’s husband murdered because he wanted her beauty so much. I don’t believe the scriptures mention Rachel or Bathsheba’s housewifely skills.”

I wanted to stamp my foot, but I was afraid we might be heard from outside the closet. “Daniel doesn’t love me for my looks; he cares about
me
,” I said.

“Yes, he does.” Ruth leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “But you and Daniel . . . well, you two are special. The rest of us will never have what you have.”

I heard a note of regret in her voice. “Will you be content to marry the man your father picks for you?” I asked.

“How would I go about choosing a man myself? I don’t know any men. None of the girls in this house knows any men. We must rely on our fathers for that sort of thing.”

Suddenly my heart was wrung for my friend and for all the poor girls who didn’t have a Daniel in their lives.

Ruth said, “We’d better go before Esther begins to look for us.”

I agreed, and we listened for noise in the hall outside. When we heard no one, we slipped out the closet door and walked softly through the hall and into the kitchen.

Later that night, as I was lying on my sleeping mat, some of Ruth’s words came back to me. In matters of marriage, she had said, girls must rely upon their fathers.

But Lord Benjamin is not my father. My father lives in Bethany
.

I wondered if I might have found a way of escaping any marriage offers Lord Benjamin might receive for me.

Jewish women are not taught to pray as the men are. Our learning is practically limited to prayers to be said over the preparation of food. But my studies with Daniel had made me feel that the Lord was ever-present, and I prayed often. I loved the psalms in particular. It comforted me to think I could look to the Lord the way a sheep looks to its shepherd, to know that the Lord would never let me be orphaned, that I would always find shelter in the shadow of His wings.

My father had abandoned me, and Lord Benjamin had never made me feel like a full member of his family. So I turned to the Lord for what I lacked in paternal care. The Lord cared about me. If I prayed hard enough, He would take pity on Daniel and me and allow us to marry.

During those difficult days Daniel and I were rigidly monitored. Samuel had told his father about Daniel’s protective way toward me, and every time Esther saw me, she glared as if I were a snake in her bosom. Rachel kept trying to find out what I had done to make Esther so angry. Daniel and I were able to see each other only at supper, where we were placed at opposite ends of the table.

On the second day of the week, the women of the household went into town to do the shopping. The open-air marketplace in Magdala
was much larger than one might expect for a town of a thousand people. It was Magdala’s location on the lake road that made us an easy stopping place for the merchants traveling north to Caesarea Philippi and Damascus, south to Jerusalem, west to Sepphoris and to Caesarea, on the coast of the Great Sea, and sometimes even all the way into Egypt. We never knew what we might see when we went to market.

This particular market day was bright and sunny, and all the women of our family joined the buzzing, gossiping crowd as they flitted from stall to stall. Ruth and I slipped away from Aunt Leah as she was bargaining for some newly harvested flax. We were standing in front of a stall near the synagogue wall, admiring pretty earrings a merchant from Sepphoris was selling, when Daniel appeared at my elbow.

I gave him a surprised look. He was supposed to be studying in the synagogue.

He put his mouth close to my ear. “I told the rabbi I needed some fresh air. We must talk, Mary.”

We looked at each other, and then, at the same moment, we turned our eyes to Ruth.

She sighed. “All right. What do you want me to do?”

Daniel said, “Keep out of the sight of my mother and yours. That way they’ll believe that Mary is still with you. We won’t be long, Ruth. I promise.”

Ruth looked at me, and I mouthed the word
please
. She glanced over her shoulder to see if Esther or Miriam was around and then said, “All right. I’ll sit in the shade of the synagogue porch. Come and get me when you’re ready.”

She moved off into the crowd, and I pulled my veil far down over my forehead to hide my face. Daniel said to the jewelry merchant, “Can we use the tent behind your stall for a few minutes?”

The big man looked at the two of us and shook his head. “It would be sinful of me to allow such a thing. You two are clearly unwed. It would be wrong of me to assist in your sinful behavior.”

Daniel reached out, and I saw that he had a shekel in his hand. It disappeared quickly into the merchant’s robes, and he gestured for us to enter into the small canvas enclosure.

I followed Daniel through the opening in the canvas. The odor inside was stifling—male sweat mingled with rotten fish. The miserable place held a sleeping mat, an empty wineskin, a half-eaten loaf of bread, and an uncovered bowl of olives that had attracted a swarm of flies. My nose wrinkled, and I instinctively took a step back.