Daughter of Dark River Farm (33 page)

I read understanding and gratitude in his expression, and he cupped my cheek in one big hand. ‘I’d give anything to have spared you what you went through,’ he said softly. ‘If I hadn’t—’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’ I couldn’t think of it now. My mind was filled with horror at the thought of how close he’d come to death, and none of us had had the slightest idea. Not even Oli, or he was sure to have told me. ‘Why didn’t you let us know what had happened? We’d have visited. Which hospital were you in?’

‘I ended up being treated at the dressing station, and sent right back. Didn’t even make it out to a field hospital, let alone a Blighty ticket.’

‘But you’re an officer!’

He shook his head and it was only then I noticed his hair was wet, too, as a drop rolled down his temple. ‘It makes no difference. This was easily treatable. We needed everyone who could fight, or dig, or carry ammunition. Come on, Kittlington, you know better than most.’

‘I know.’ I sighed and rested my forehead against his chest, then twisted my head to check on Amy, but she was still happily building.

‘Why is your shirt off?’ I asked, remembering the grunting.

I felt him shaking as he laughed quietly. ‘Because I’m a bloody idiot. Amy was digging with her spoon at the edge of the water and I was worried she’d bend it, or break it, and tried to take it off her.’ His voice turned dry. ‘Thanks for warning me never to try that, by the way.’

I chuckled. ‘What happened?’

‘She let out an almighty shriek and pulled it back, caught me off balance, and in I went, head first.’

‘So you were wringing out your shirt when I came down?’ I gestured at the crumpled garment, now lying by the river. ‘I wondered what you were doing. What were you saying?’

‘I can’t remember, but it was probably the only bit of Gaelic I bothered to learn. You don’t want me to translate it either.’ His hand caught at mine, and raised it to gently nip at my knuckle, then kiss it. ‘I didn’t expect you here so soon,’ he said, by way of explanation. ‘You should have been another half an hour at least. I’d have been decent again by then.’

‘Are you sorry I saw you?’

He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry it was a shock, that’s all. It doesn’t hurt much any more, and I don’t really think about it.’

I stepped around him and looked up at the scars. Up close I could see for certain they were no mere scratches. Shrapnel flew everywhere out there. I knew that, and he’d been peppered by the stuff—he’d been lucky indeed. I traced the biggest of the wounds; it began just inside his right shoulder blade and wound downwards, almost to the bottom of his ribcage, cutting a jagged slice through his flesh and leaving a narrow white rope that would never disappear.

His skin rippled into goose bumps, and I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He tensed, and I spread the fingers of both hands as widely as I could reach over his chest and midriff; he was warm from the sun, and his breathing was shorter now, and light; I could feel each breath in the movement of his back as I lay my cheek against him, and when he spoke I felt his hesitant voice as much as I heard it.

‘Kitty, I know we can’t, not now, but…I can’t be without you tonight.’ He twisted in my arms, to look at me searchingly, then his mouth, lifted in a faint smile of relief, came down on mine in the lightest of touches before we both turned our attention back to Amy. If his heart was crashing anywhere near as fiercely as mine he showed no sign of it, but he kept shooting me little looks that kept up that glorious momentum, and made me hope I’d never breathe normally again.

‘Leave Amy here,’ Evie said later, as Archie and I prepared Pippin and Pirate. ‘She’s had a long day. She’ll sleep.’

I looked across the yard to where Amy sat on the kitchen step, scuffing the dirt with her feet. She played absently with the spoon on its ribbon, and I couldn’t suppress a smile and a wish I’d been there to see Archie tumble into the shallow river.

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ he said from behind me, and when I turned to say I doubted it, he tugged at his shirt and raised an eyebrow. ‘Aye, I know
exactly
what you’re thinking, ye wee minx.’

I grinned. ‘Do it again? For me?’

He growled and turned away, but not before I saw the smile twitch at his mouth. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him so relaxed, and he was clearly looking forward to getting back in the saddle again. He tightened Pirate’s girth and checked the stirrups, and I enjoyed watching his easy, assured movements.

‘Go as fast as you like,’ I told him, buckling Pippin’s harness; it wouldn’t be fair to make him stick to our pace. ‘Take the path across the moors. It’s a good, easy track, and smooth enough so you’ll be able to give him his head.’

He mounted Pirate with the smooth motion of long practice, and gathered up the reins. ‘Up towards Princetown?’

I nodded. ‘Turn left in the village, and go down past the station and the prison. It’s not far.’

‘Right. See you at the sawmill.’ He turned Pirate towards the path, and I was whisked back through the years as I watched him urge the horse forward. His riding seat was casual, his hands light on the reins, but his back was arrow-straight in the saddle, and his shoulders square. Every horse I’d ever seen him ride seemed to respond to the combination of mastery and gentleness, and Pirate was no exception; he set off at a steady pace, and I watched until they were out of sight around the bend before turning back to Pippin and patting his short neck.

‘Just you and me then, old chap.’ I waved to Amy as I climbed into the trap, and for the first time ever, she waved back. My heart gave a little lurch, and I tried to remind myself Frank would be coming for her, but I couldn’t deny the affection that had taken hold deep inside me for this strange, quiet little girl.

Out on the main road, with nothing on which to focus my mind, I found my thoughts taking the treacherous path I had sworn not to follow today. Archie had used up three days of his leave by going all the way to Oaklands, before finding the house closed up and travelling down to Devon. He’d been here a day and a night, would have to allow for a day’s travel to Dover, and then a night’s ferry crossing back to France, and several hours on the rough, congested roads back to Belgium. That left two days. Just two days for us to explore what we’d found, and to make our peace with the fact of our imminent parting…

I sat bolt upright on the seat, jerking on the reins as the thought hit me: I’d had the training, and the experience. They were bound to be able to use me back in Dixmude, particularly now Evie was here. I should go. For Archie, yes, but also because I would be more use out there now than I would ever be here. But what would it do to Amy?

Pippin had stopped obediently at my pull on the reins, and I told him to walk on, my mind turning over everything it might mean, and my heart speeding up as I grew more and more certain of what I must do. It
would
be hard on Amy, horribly hard, and even if I decided to remain at Dark River Farm I still had to explain that she would be losing her ‘Mister Arsh’ in a day or two. My chest tightened as I thought about that. Had it been a mistake, after all, to have let them become close? But it couldn’t have been. Just watching them together anyone could see that, even after knowing each other less than a day, each would hold warm memories of the other no matter how long they were parted for. I couldn’t have denied them that. And if I chose to return to my former duties, well, the war couldn’t go on for ever. If leaving the farm would be a wrench, leaving Amy would be like leaving my own child, but in all likelihood it would be worse for me than for her; she would still be surrounded by her new family. Lizzy, Frances, and even Belinda, would all be strong, solid and loving.

There was another question that made me hesitate, too. Would I be able to bear knowing exactly where Archie was when there was a push on? Evie said it was easier on her nerves that Will was stationed in France, and she was in Belgium, and that although the opportunity was there to move, she hadn’t been able to bear the thought of knowing exactly when he was going over. I’d experienced the same stomach-churning fear before, and understood it. It had been hard enough when I’d been over there working before, aware of the unit’s every move, and all through Oli’s trial, knowing Archie’s battalion was involved in heavy fighting, I had been unable to think of much else. But now, when we had found each other and had so much more to lose, now I had the memory of his touch, and his breath on my skin… Could I really do it?

We were almost at Princetown when I heard a shout, and the thudding of hooves away to my right. Archie had evidently waited for me further back along the path, and I’d been too wrapped up in thoughts of him to notice the man himself. He’d kicked Pirate into a canter to catch up, and now he was close enough that I could see his smile. From the age of sixteen I’d seen and responded to his physical appeal, but now he was so close to going away I had a desperate need to capture a moment that was wholly him, and keep it with me. The image of him on that horse, glowing with good health, his body alert to Pirate’s every movement and responding with unconscious grace and skill while his attention was solely on me… That would be what held me to him when he left, until I could be with him again.

Wherever that might be.

‘Did you proud, I hope?’ Seth asked, taking Pirate from Archie. I held the small box Frances had put together for him, and when he’d looped Pirate’s reins over the fence post he took it from me with a smile of thanks. He was like a different man, nowadays. He did look a bit shifty though, as he took the box, as if he desperately wanted to investigate its contents, but didn’t like to while I was there.

‘I think it’s just some extra butter,’ I said helpfully, ‘and maybe another jar of honey. I hope that’s all right?’

‘Right you are,’ Seth said, looking relieved. He must really like that honey, and I made a mental note to tell Frances and Lizzy, so they could make sure they put some in next time too.

‘Pirate’s been invaluable, thank you,’ I said. ‘We got the hay in right before last night’s little storm. Might we be able to borrow him once more? Not to work, but just to ride, before Archie goes back?’

‘Don’t see why not. Let him rest a day, then you can take him tomorrow evening. That suit?’

‘It does, thank you.’

Stroking Pippin’s nose to avoid making eye contact, he cleared his throat. ‘Uh, about the other young miss, do you know if she…will she be…’

‘Mr Pearce,’ I said gently, hating to be the one, and cursing Bel under my breath. ‘I do understand you’ve formed a bit of an attachment to Belinda. But she has her sights set elsewhere. I’m sorry.’

‘Oh, don’t be sorry, maid.’ Seth was able to look at me now, clearly glad it was out in the open at last. ‘I should have known better. She’s a rare beauty.’

‘The first time you saw her, her nose was all swollen and covered in blood, and her hair was in her face,’ I said, exchanging an amused glance with Archie.

‘And that’s the only time I’ve seen her,’ Seth pointed out. ‘Didn’t stop me seeing past it. And she’s a dab hand with a bit of rope.’

‘She is.’ I remembered the expert halter-tying. ‘I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.’

He waved a hand, dismissing it. Then he saw me looking nervously at Pirate, and smiled. ‘Don’t worry, miss. I might not have had the purest of reasons for suggestin’ our arrangement, but that don’t mean I don’t think it’s a good one. I’m not going to stop you borrowing the lad here just because your friend has a bit of sense.’

‘Thank you!’ I breathed a sigh of relief, and decided I didn’t need to push Belinda down the stairs after all.

‘Besides, that honey’s so good, I’d swap him next week for a lifetime’s supply!’ It was the first time I’d heard him joke, and guessed it was the relief of talking about Bel that had freed a well hidden, but naturally pleasant nature. He coughed again, and held up a hand. ‘Uh, one thing though?’

‘Yes?’ I’d just climbed up into the trap, and he squinted up at me, shielding his eyes.

‘You don’t need to worry about how much you can pay me,’ he said. The evening sun shone full in his face, and I could see the flush on his already ruddy skin. ‘I’d be quite all right about it if you left out them biscuits, next time.’

Archie and I were still laughing a few minutes later, as we drew near the prison. I found more to like about Seth every time I saw him, and it was difficult to equate him with the furious, shouting man who’d terrified Bel and me just a couple of months ago—I wished Bel could see it too.

‘Who’s that?’ Archie said, slowing Pippin slightly, and my eyes followed where he was pointing. Up ahead in the road, a single figure stood, a girl. Staring down at the men still toiling in the fields, she looked out of place here, incongruous even.

‘She’s very well dressed,’ I observed. ‘Not a farm girl.’

‘No, you’re all ruffians and tramps,’ Archie said, and I thumped his thigh. He smiled. ‘See? No decorum whatsoever.’

‘I wonder who she is,’ I said, ignoring him, then started as we drew a little closer. ‘I know her!’ The hat she wore did not hide her jet-black hair, nor did her smart coat disguise the youth of the figure beneath it. ‘What on earth is she doing here alone?’

‘Who is it?’

‘Helen McKrevie. She’s probably here to see her father. Stop a minute. I’m going to talk to her.’ I jumped down, and turned back, putting a hand on his knee. ‘Better if you wait here. She’s only about sixteen. She might not have permission to be here and I don’t want to frighten her off.’

‘Aye, as you like.’ Archie sat back to wait, while I hurried up the road towards Helen. She had heard us approach, but showed no sign of nervousness so maybe her grandfather thought it was all right to send her halfway across the country after all. Or maybe Louise was somewhere close by. I glanced around as I approached, but couldn’t see anyone else.

‘Helen?’ I called, and she recognised me with a jolt.

‘Miss Maitland! I thought you had gone to Belgium.’

Following so quickly on my decision to do that very thing, I felt easier in my mind as I said, ‘I’m going in a few days.’ At least it felt like the truth this time.