Daughter of Dark River Farm (17 page)

To change the subject, I told him about the offer Seth Pearce had made Frances, and we talked for a while about what had happened. I enjoyed making him laugh, and we passed the time pleasantly enough until, around half an hour later, Evie came looking for him. Just in from work, she looked tired, but pleased to report she had been granted the leave she’d requested.

‘We’ll be able to see Lawrence, and you’ll be able to visit Martin,’ she said.

I tried not to acknowledge the twinge of envy at her pleasure. ‘Is Martin the one you mentioned before, the one who probably told Nathan where you were?’

‘That’s the one. He and Mary were witnesses at our wedding.’ She caught sight of the little paper box on the table, and picked it up. ‘What’s this?’

I told her about the letter, and I could see she was itching to undo Will’s folding in order to read it, so tried to tell her as much of what it contained as I could. When I’d finished, she frowned.

‘Perhaps Will’s right,’ she said. ‘Your mother will probably be trying to build bridges, now she’s had time for the shock to wear off.’

‘Then why hasn’t she taken back what she said?’ I blurted, distressed beyond thinking straight.

Evie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why, what did she say?’

I just looked at her, then at Will, who looked curious but concerned. ‘It was another letter she sent me, just after Oli’s trial. I’ve never told anyone; it was too awful. But I couldn’t throw it away either. I was worried I might forget, and forgive her.’

‘Fetch it then,’ Evie said grimly, and touched my arm to show me her expression was not directed at me.

I did so, and watched their faces as they read it together. I could tell Evie was reading fastest, by the way her breath caught, and her eyes widened, a split second before Will’s did. ‘You’ve reached that bit then?’ I said quietly.

‘ “You are, after all, a sturdy girl and cannot have been so incapacitated that you could not protect yourself.” ’ Evie read aloud, slowly. She lifted her eyes to mine, then gripped the letter more firmly and read on. When they had both finished, she put the letter down and came over to me and folded me into her arms.

‘You mustn’t go with her, Skittles darling,’ she said in a low voice. ‘Neither of you is ready for that yet.’ Then she pulled back, and glanced over at Will. ‘She must come with us, don’t you think?’

‘To Oaklands?’ I stared at her in sudden hope.

‘Yes. Mother would be pleased to have you as a guest. I’m certain of it.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Quite sure. And if not, well, the house belongs to Lawrence anyway, and even if he thought you were the worst person in the entire world, which he certainly won’t, he wouldn’t refuse you hospitality.’

‘I should hate to stay where I wasn’t wanted,’ I began, but Evie smiled.

‘You most certainly
are
wanted. Now, go and tell Frances. She’ll need to share your duties out among the others for a while.’

‘Bel will be so pleased about that!’ I grinned, relief making me a little giddy. ‘How long shall I say we’ll be gone?’

‘Two weeks,’ Evie said. ‘That should be plenty for all of us, I imagine, especially Mother.’

I left her and Will alone, both still smiling at me, but as I closed the door I saw their expressions slip into identical scowls, and through the wood I heard Evie’s voice, clear and furious.

‘That woman had better not set foot on this farm, not while I’m here and can reach a bloody pitchfork!’

I put my hand flat against the door in a silent gesture of gratitude, and felt the fear and tension fall away; my own family might not want me, but I had Evie and Will on my side, and I had Frances. Maybe soon I would also have Lily Creswell.

Chapter Ten

If my first sight of Oaklands Manor had filled me with awe and admiration, then my anticipation of meeting Lady Creswell had taken my insides and replaced them with rocks. I couldn’t fully enjoy, for more than a moment, the turreted, many-balconied house, the huge oaks that dotted the lawn, the tantalising sight of the walled garden just beyond the drive, because I now realised I’d forgotten every last piece of instruction I’d ever received about meeting aristocracy. Evie didn’t count, of course, but I could see even her standing straighter and reaching for Will’s hand.

He took it, his fingers folding over hers, and I saw him squeeze gently and receive a grateful smile in return. My own hand curled, and if I let myself drift ever-so-slightly away from reality I could almost imagine Archie standing beside me, but that flash of comfort was gone a second later, leaving me emptier than before.

The front door opened, and the butler came out looking like the lord of the manor himself, but Evie greeted him like an old friend, and he unbuttoned slightly, giving her a smile that looked as though it rarely saw the light of day. He greeted Will and me with more formal politeness, then picked up our three bags as if they weighed no more than paper and led the way into the huge hall. I had no time to stare at the paintings that graced the walls, or the carvings that danced across the high ceiling, before a door opened at the other end and Lady Lily Creswell came out.

My stomach knotted instantly, and I realised I had absolutely no idea if she knew of my circumstances; in the flurry of packing, and the excitement and relief of leaving Dark River, I hadn’t thought to ask Evie. I shot her an alarmed look, hoping for a reassuring smile or a slight shake of the head…anything to tell me what to expect, but her attention was on her mother. I turned back to watch the lady herself cross the hall, and swallowed hard.

‘Evangeline, darling,’ Lady Creswell said, and took her daughter’s hands. She kissed Evie’s cheek, and it was a real kiss, not that awkward and pointless brushing of the air near a person’s face that my own mother had perfected. Then she took Will’s hand and pressed it. ‘William, I’m glad to hear you’re much improved.’

He gave her a sort of half bow and smiled. ‘I am, Lady Creswell, thank you. It’s good to see you again.’

‘You must rest while you’re here. Lawrence is so looking forward to seeing you. He’s out at the moment but will be back for dinner.’ Then she turned to me. ‘And you must be Kitty,’ she said, with surprising warmth. I felt my knees unlock as she took my hand, and she saw my nervousness and gave me a gentle smile. ‘Don’t look so frightened, child. I’m delighted you were able to come. Evie has told me so much about you, and about your immense courage out in Belgium.’

I felt the blush rise from my neck, and found a smile creeping across my face. ‘Thank you, Lady Creswell.’

‘You must tell me all about it at dinner. Now, Dodsworth will show you to your rooms.’ She turned to Evie. ‘You and Will are to have the same room as Will had before, and Kitty can have your old rooms.’

‘Where’s Lawrence gone?’ Evie asked.

‘Just for a walk.’ Lily smiled at me. ‘My son has always had a fondness for walking, but since he’s enlisted it’s become something of a need for him. He does it whenever he can. Must be to do with being cramped up in those ghastly tanks. Do you enjoy walking?’

‘I do,’ I said. ‘There are lots of lovely walks on the farm, and you can go down through the woods, along the riv…’ I stopped, my eyes going to the wide, richly carpeted staircase that swept up to the upper floors, and then to the many doors leading off into rooms that were no doubt even more ornate than this enormous hall. Lily saw me looking, and touched my hand again.

‘Don’t be ashamed of where you live,’ she said gently. ‘It has no lesser value than this house, believe me.’

I couldn’t think of anything to say, but hoped my gratitude showed in my face.

‘Come on, Skittles,’ Evie said. ‘My old room has a bath, and you’ll be glad to get the travel dust off you I expect.’ She followed Mr Dodsworth up the stairs, her hand still holding tightly to Will’s, and as I brought up the rear I glanced back down and saw Lady Creswell still standing in the centre of the hallway. She raised a hand to me, and I smiled back, but as I turned to face the front again all I could think about was how small and alone she looked.

Lawrence, or rather Lord Lawrence, did indeed return in time for dinner. He strolled into the sitting room where we’d gathered for a drink, and his smile, so like Evie’s, cut across the room and lit on each of us in turn. Evie had said he was just one year older than me, but had held the rank of lieutenant for at least a year now, and I could see Lily’s eyes on him with pride and affection as his presence broke down the slight uncertainty of our little group. As blond as his sister, with light blue eyes and an open, friendly face, he held himself very straight even in a relaxed situation such as this, but when I tried to address him using his rightful title he broke into laughter and flatly forbade me to do it again.

Dinner, therefore, was not the taut, nerve-wracking experience I’d dreaded. Lawrence sat next to me and kept up a lively chatter with all of us. He and Will were close; I already knew that. Evie had told me they’d been friends for years, but they’d spent last Christmas, after Will had been traumatised at High Wood, almost constantly in one another’s company. Lawrence had been the only one who could truly begin to understand what Will had been through, and it was clear that Evie welcomed the bond between them.

But tonight there was no talk of war. Tonight there was just a family group, and for once I didn’t feel as if I hovered at the outside edge of it. Lawrence teased stories out of me I thought I’d never tell, and even Lily laughed aloud at my telling of the illicit horse-riding incident. Everyone winced at the description of Belinda’s fall, but I thought it best not to add that her main concern was that her nose was all swollen just when she was trying to look glamorous for Mr Nathan Beresford. I even managed not to think about Archie for most of the evening, until much later, when Lily asked Evie how he was. Evie shot a glance at me before answering, but after all, Lily had no idea Archie and I even knew each other; it was natural she would ask her daughter.

‘He’s doing well, I think,’ Evie said. ‘Kitty knows him very well, and has done since they were children.’

‘Oh?’ Lily raised an eyebrow and I wondered if I was imagining the slight cooling of her manner. ‘Are you close?’

‘We were once,’ I said, feeling an ache crawl through me at my own words. ‘But, well, you know. People lose touch.’

‘Indeed,’ Lily said, and relaxed a little. ‘Lawrence, darling, Kitty enjoys walking too. Perhaps you’d like to show her the grounds tomorrow, while the summer’s still treating us kindly?’

‘Of course,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘The garden’s at its best just now, Kitty. We’ll go early, if that’s all right? It can get a bit hot.’

I nodded agreement, then caught Lily’s satisfied look, and understood. Of course, why hadn’t I realised? It also answered my still-niggling question about whether or not she was aware of what had happened to me in the spring; only the purest of wives would be good enough for the heir to Oaklands Manor, and she evidently believed me to be worthy, on that score at least.

‘I’m very tired,’ I said, putting my glass down. ‘If I’m going to be out walking early tomorrow, I think I should go to bed.’ I stood up, and thanked Lily for her warmth and hospitality, and after also bidding goodnight to Evie, Will and Lawrence, I fled to the sanctuary of my room, where I lay down and let out a groan. Lawrence was sweet and very easy to be with, but even if we found one another remotely attractive, which we clearly didn’t, Lily would find out sooner or later what had happened and would be all the more furious with both Evie and myself for hiding it.

Her instant suspicion about Archie rankled, too. That she saw him as a threat to her intentions for her own son gave me a surge of defensiveness, and a determination to protect the friendship I’d been half prepared, so recently, to throw away; she had no idea how deep that friendship went, and it was none of her business. I closed my eyes and beckoned him forward, and he came, his grey eyes made sombre by those straight, dark brows, but the mouth parted in a smile that belied that solemnity. ‘Young Kittlington,’ his voice breathed into me, and this time it took no effort at all to feel his presence close beside me, and his large, warm hand in mine. I went to sleep with him next to me, as I had countless times before, and would time and time again—knowing he was beyond my reach out there in the world of noise and light, but here, in the secrecy and darkness of my sleep, he could be mine again.

The following morning Lawrence gave me the promised tour of the gardens. Evie stayed back at the house with Will, who was stiff and uncomfortable after the long train journey the day before.

Lawrence looked behind at the house with a faint frown, as they waved us off and we started down the avenue. ‘I know he was badly hurt,’ he said, ‘but surely he should be improving more quickly?’

‘He was, but he slipped a few days before we left the farm, trying to move something without help.’ I felt another flicker of annoyance towards Nathan. ‘He didn’t fall, but it didn’t help his recovery, and he’s still in a lot of pain—he won’t take morphine; he’s terrified of becoming dependant.’

‘Poor chap,’ he said softly, then cleared his throat. ‘Right, we’ll start at the far end and work our way back. Sound all right?’

‘Sounds perfect.’

My first morning at Oaklands passed in a surprisingly easy, pleasant way. Lawrence showed me the orchard, and the walled garden, and then the place where Jack Carlisle had planted two apple trees. One of them had been planted in honour of some friends he had known long ago and there were some initials on the little stone: AJD. It was odd not to know the names behind those letters, and the people behind the names, while someone familiar to me had loved them enough to sweat and toil in their memory.

The other tree was older, and instead of a stone at its foot it had a framed photograph. Carefully wrapped against the weather, and hard to see clearly because of that, I nevertheless recognised Jack himself; he’d have been the same age as Archie when it was taken, and the resemblance, always strong, was uncanny enough to make me break out in goose bumps. The two men in the picture were in uniform, and it might have been a formal picture but their closeness was evident in their relaxed attitudes and easy smiles.