Darkyn's Mate (#3, Rhyn Eternal) (15 page)

Deidre’s heart felt like it was breaking.
She was never meant to outlive meeting Gabriel. From what she saw,
Past-Death and Wynn were supposed to make sure of that.

Darkyn claimed there was, but she saw no
silver lining to her existence. She was in Hell, because there was
nowhere else for her lost soul to go.

Deidre.

A vision of the beach where she met Gabriel
told her who it was.

Deidre sucked in a breath, torn. Darkyn
didn’t restrict her movement or who she saw, but the idea of seeing
Gabriel again so soon after their meeting yesterday disturbed
her.

She didn’t want to go,
especially with the memories of the movies about his past still
fresh. She didn’t want to
not
go. Darkyn was right; she still had feelings for
Death, and she didn’t know what to do about them. After a moment
grappling with her mixed emotions, she got up and called a
portal.

“I’ll be back, Zamon,” she told the ancient
demon.

“Like I have anywhere else to go,” he
replied grumpily. His tone made her smile despite her anxiety.

Deidre crossed through the shadow world. She
turned her hair back to long pink as she walked, self-conscious
about Gabriel seeing her tattoos even though he already knew about
them.

Gabriel awaited her on the beach near where
they’d first sat together two weeks before. His gaze was on the
ocean, his large form tense and still. Stars and a half moon were
bright, the sound of the ocean comforting. She didn’t realize how
much she missed the human world. She ached to be back in it
regularly.

“Hi, Gabriel,” she called softly.

He twisted, gaze going down her frame. After
a moment, Gabriel laughed.

“He turned you into a sex demon!” he
exclaimed.

Deidre flushed. The chilly ocean breeze made
her dress move as if it was alive, and she swiped at the pink hair
blinding her. She crossed her arms, shivering.

“I like it,” he added. He patted the sand
beside him.

“Of course you do. You’re male. Me? Not so
much!” she retorted. She hesitated then sat beside him. “This is
where we met.” She wanted to ask him why he chose this spot but was
afraid to.

“I’m surprised he let you come,” he said,
eyes returning to the sea.

“He says the mate of the Dark One can do
whatever she wants. Apparently, evil is equal opportunity.”

“Not sure seeing an ex-mate is
included.”

Deidre glanced at him. The bitterness in his
voice bothered her. Gabriel kept his eyes on the ocean.

“Are you really okay?” he asked.

“I think so,” she
answered.
Given the circumstances.
“He, um, has been very assertive and
direct.”

“You mean violent and aggressive.”

“Not violent,” she replied quickly. “Not
with me, at least. He leaves no room for failure or my hope that
certain things will change.”

“You don’t think you’ll ever leave
Hell.”

“I can come and go. But he will always be my
… mate.” It was still an overwhelming idea. Hearing it out loud
only made her more confused.

“I’m serious about taking you to the
underworld, if he hurts you,” he reasserted. “Immortal Laws be
damned. If I’d had the balls to …” he stopped.

She rested her temple on one knee, eyes on
him. She smiled, touched by his concern. She almost told him that –
of the two of them – she was the one with nothing to fear from
Darkyn.

“It’s scary to be with him,” she admitted.
“But … he doesn’t mistreat me and there’s potential for me to do
good from Hell. I helped Rhyn already. We stopped Darkyn’s demons
from massacring the kids.”

“He told me it was over,” Gabriel said, gaze
intent. “How did you convince Darkyn to stop?”

“I asked him.”

Gabriel snorted. “You make it sound
easy.”

“Well, it was,” she replied. “I don’t
understand his motivation.”

“You were right yesterday about saying I
wouldn’t take a chance,” he started. “I want to clear the air,
though. There’s more to the story than what you know.”

“Gabe …” she said, sighing. She hoped he’d
drop the subject, that they could start over.

“I have to.” He took a deep breath. “I
didn’t take a chance on you for the reason you think. It had to do
with the tumor. Wynn said your happiness made it grow. You were so
close to the end, we couldn’t take a chance. It had nothing to do
with you or how I felt.”

“Instead of making my last days happy, you
decided to make me miserable in the hopes you could find a
solution,” she said.

“Pretty much,” he replied. “I was going to
Darkyn myself to make a deal to save you.”

“Really?”

“You beat me to it.”

Deidre was quiet for a moment. “I think we
both did things imperfectly.”

He chuckled.

“Up until today, I wasn’t convinced that
this might have been destiny from the beginning,” she began. “This
will sound weird, but bear with me. Hell has a library, and the
librarian has been teaching me about the deities through these
little video tutorial things.”

“You’ve been sitting in Hell watching
movies?” He smiled.

“It’s like these books and when you open
them, these movies spring up,” she said, motioning with her hands.
“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s called an Oracle. Hell has one, and
Death does as well. The book houses the spirit of a dead Oracle
from the time-before-time that records history, among other
things.”

“You mean it’s possessed?”

“Yeah.”

Deidre stared at him, surprised.

“Voluntarily. The Oracles wanted to be put
in books,” he explained. “Though saying it that way does sound
strange.”

“It’s totally bizarre.” She felt bad for the
Oracle trapped in a book.

He laughed.

“Anyway, I saw how Darkyn
was created from a lowborn demon scorned by others because he was
smaller. He had nothing but ambition. I saw how you were created
from a seventeen-year-old boy who wanted nothing more than for your
mistress to love you.” She paused. “I saw what was between you and
the original Deidre. Her plan didn’t just happen when I was born.
She really did
create
me. She waited thousands of years and worked with both Dark
Ones to make it happen. Fate played a hand, too, as did Wynn. I
don’t think she knew they were working as much against her as with
her. She had one focus: to be with you in a way you couldn’t be
together when she was Death.”

Gabriel listened, tensing.

“I was meant to be …” Deidre cleared her
throat. The emotions from watching the videos was almost too much.
She fought back tears, not wanting to cry in front of him.

He glanced at her.

“Disposable,” she managed. “Basically. Or
would’ve been, if Darkyn hadn’t decided to honor the informal deal
he made with her.”

“Gods,” he muttered. “You were never
disposable.”

“Seeing the relative lack of consequence
your life has in the grand scheming of deities and Immortals kind
of makes you view things differently, Gabe.”

“Sometimes when you look at a grain of sand
in your hand, you forget that there couldn’t be a beach without
every one of them.”

“That’s sweet.” She smiled. “I guess what
made the biggest impression was watching you and her over the
course of thousands of years. There was never a day when you didn’t
love each other. There were days when you hated the fact you did
love her, and there were days when she almost walked away from you
for good, because she hated that she couldn’t control how she
felt,” Deidre continued. “But there was a never a day when you
didn’t love her and she didn’t love you.”

The truth was so painful. She wasn’t sure
how she got it out. It made her feel hollow. There was a part of
her that wished it had been her she saw in the videos. But thinking
it was disturbing. She wasn’t certain if she felt guilt because of
her relationship with Darkyn or if it was regret. Knowing what she
did now about her destiny, would she have sought out a deal with
Darkyn?

Her thoughts went to the good she might be
able to do from Hell.

“I’m sorry, Deidre,” Gabriel whispered. “You
gave me hope when I was numb to the world. You don’t deserve any of
this.”

“Silver lining,” she said softly. “I helped
Rhyn protect kids. I can help others. Darkyn is not an easy person
to understand or live with, and I’m still not certain at all what
to think of him at times. He’s been fair and brutally honest, and
he can’t hurt me because of our blood bond. I kind of like him,
even if he scares me.”

“Kind of like him.” Gabriel smiled. “Only
someone as sweet as you would say that about the Dark One.”

“Don’t get me wrong. He’s not normal. But it
makes me think that maybe things happen for a reason.”

“What reason is there behind falling for a
woman and watching her get shipped off to live with the Dark One?”
he asked bitterly.

“You did love me,” she said, smiling.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve got news for you, Death,” she said in
a lighter tone. “What you loved about me is present in your current
mate. You just have to give it a chance.”

“She sends you to Hell, and you go to bat
for her.”

“Not for her. For you,” she replied. “I want
you to be happy. I am out of the picture. I understand this. I also
forgive both of you, Gabe. I can’t say I want her to be happy yet,
but I don’t want her to be sad.”

He laughed. “That’s as spiteful as you get,
isn’t it?”

“Pretty much.” Her face was warm. “I loved
you, too, Gabriel. I think a part of me always will. You gave me
the strength to take a step I wouldn’t have otherwise. You made me
want to live when I was ready to die. I’ll always be grateful to
you for that.”

Tears made her vision blur again. As much as
it hurt, she knew her place was with Darkyn. Accepting it was
difficult – but necessary. Letting go of Gabriel was much harder
than accepting her new mate. But neither of them were going to be
able to move on, if they didn’t both at least acknowledge that she
was stuck in Hell – for good.

“You’re welcome, I think,” he said with a
shake of his head. “My offer to hide you in the underworld is
always open.”

“I won’t need it.”

They sat in silence, both of them gazing at
the ocean. She shivered in the chilly ocean breeze. She was cold
but grateful to see the ocean. It always put her at peace. An
instinct wriggled, one she didn’t want to acknowledge or deal with.
Darkyn was always right; the sense he gave her to gauge when
someone around her had an ulterior motive was tingling. It made her
angrier at her mate, who systematically shut the doors around her
and also managed to interfere with her ability to trust anyone
else.

“You want something else from me,” she
whispered.

Gabriel glanced at her.

“Darkyn said my weakness is being taken
advantage of by others. He shared some of his power or whatever
your deities do. I can sense that you have an ulterior motive of
some sort,” she explained. “I can’t see it, but I feel it.”

“Savvy demon,” Gabriel murmured. “You needed
that.”

“No more men like Wynn killing me
slowly.”

“You’re right. I do need to ask you for
something.”

She focused on him in interest, wondering
what Death could possibly need from her.

“I have to get into the underworld. The
dealers are rebelling, and they’ve figured out a way to out me from
my position. I have to be there in order to prevent it,” he said
carefully. “The only way into the underworld is through Hell.”

“Darkyn will make you a deal you probably
can’t live with,” she guessed. “I can’t make deals.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to,” he said. “I
was going to ask you to help me get home.”

Her calm acceptance faded, replaced by
turmoil. Gabriel had no way of knowing that Darkyn was in and out
of her mind. He was asking for a favor, one Darkyn would discover
within seconds of her returning to Hell.

It wasn’t fair.

“You’re afraid,” he said.

She shook her head.

“You’re not the only one who can sense
emotion in others,” he reminded her with a nudge. “It’s more than
fear. I’d say you’re still pissed at me.”

“You know what you’re asking me to do?” she
said at last.

“Yes. I have no other option, Deidre.
There’s something in my underworld that I have to find before they
do.”

“What is it?” she asked.

“Only my soul,” he replied ruefully.

“Oh, god, Gabriel,” she whispered, stricken.
Deidre started to panic, not wanting Darkyn to know Gabriel’s
secret but knowing she wasn’t able to hide anything. What would
Darkyn do with such a damning secret? Send someone to grab
Gabriel’s soul?