Darkside Sun (6 page)

Chapter 7

Something cool lay across my forehead. “You’re safe here, Addison,” a woman said in a songlike tone. “I’m a friend.”

Since when did I have any of those? I blinked my eyes open. Why had they shut? Had I been sleeping? If I was sleeping, then the dread rattling my bones must have been from a nightmare. I studied a slender face I didn’t recognize, her hair streaked at least a half-dozen different neon colors, as if a truckload of hair dye had exploded on her head.

The words “delicate” and “dainty” came to mind when I looked at her. Her pale blue eyes seemed large on her face, skin flawless and perfect as a porcelain doll’s. Her high cheekbones sported circles of pink as if she’d overheated in her long-sleeved baby blue T-shirt, and her lips were glossed peach. Pretty and, to my mind, completely harmless. So why were my shoulders suddenly tight and the hairs on my nape standing on end? And why would I think a complete stranger would be anything but harmless?

“Where am I?” I asked through the gravel in my throat. “Who are you?” I tried to sit up. My stomach rolled. I lay back down, arm thrown over my eyes until the world stopped swinging me around by the heels. Squinting up at her beneath my arm shield, I asked, “And why do I feel like hurling?”

“I’m Sophia,” she said with a smile. Even her name was delicate. “It’ll take a little while for your body to adjust to being this deep within the Shift. Most of us pass out and hurl our first time, so don’t be embarrassed.”

The what? “Asher had mentioned the Shift like it should be in all caps or something. Is that the whole beating heart thing I’ve been feeling? It happened right before I blacked out. What is this Shift thing, and why am I in it?”

“Asher said our founder created hundreds of layers of alternate realities to confuse and deter the wraiths from the real one, to keep the guardians safe while we hunt and protect the mortals as much as possible. We call those layers the Shift. None of the false layers have people in them, just buildings and regular terrain and stuff. Time also moves differently here, for those of us who don’t know how to travel through the layers properly. Only the sentinels and a few soldiers can call and travel through the Shift without getting hopelessly lost. The rest of us depend on others to transport us around.”

“Guardians?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s just a term we use for those within the Machine, forgetting position and rank.”

I nodded, considering all she’d said. If this Shift thing was meant to protect us against invasion by the dead, it clearly wasn’t working, not that I really comprehended what she described. How could someone create other realities? It sounded too
Twilight Zone
to me. Even so, some wraiths still came through.

Like in the AL.

Like in my room.

An echo of a gunshot rang in my head. Asher’s empty eyes staring at me.
“Welcome to your life, guardian.”

I scrambled away from Sophia and off the bed I’d been lying on. I had just enough time to grab a trash can in the corner before retching into it. How much time had passed? Hours? Days? How could time move differently in here?

Sophia came from behind me, holding back the hair that had fallen out of my braid. When I finished, she handed me another cool cloth, and I wiped my mouth. “Asher hasn’t told me what happened, because he doesn’t tell us mere grunts anything, but I guess you just remembered why he brought you here, huh?” Bitterness spilled out of her with the words.

He wanted to make me one of them, a sentinel of the Mortal Machine. “So it’s true. It all happened. For a second there, I hoped … I thought maybe I just dreamed it.” I turned and propped my back along a wall painted off-white.

Everything in the room fuzzed at the edges like a fifties-era television—not unraveling, just out of focus. Was that because it wasn’t real, a false reality within the Shift? The small bed to my right had nothing but white cotton sheets and a pillow on it. Other beds dotted the room, all identical with perfectly tucked corners. That would be the way Asher would make his bed, so you could bounce a coin off the sheets. But mine appeared to have been ravaged by a wild animal. The room smelled of medicine and antiseptic. It all seemed real enough to me.

“Is this some sort of Mortal Machine infirmary?” I asked.

She smiled, and that one seemed more genuine. It made me relax a little. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Does that make you a doctor?” Surely not, since she didn’t appear to be any older than me. But then again, they were immortal, so she could have been a hundred and eighteen for all I knew.

“Oh, jeez, no.” Her laughter, bright and lively, danced along my skin. “They call me the Outfitter. I’m about as low on the Machine totem pole you can get, but I’ve made peace with it.”

A few ideas about what an outfitter might be bingo-balled around my groggy mind. Her eyes were pale blue, the green in them only noticeable if I squinted. “You’re a soldier. So you … like … dress people up for battle or some junk?”

“I manage the costume hall and make sure a sentinel looks the part when he or she goes hunting, among other random crap jobs Asher doles out.” One corner of her lip quirked up, and she wiggled like an excitable puppy. “I’m glad he asked me to sit with you. Wanna talk about it?” Her obvious raw eagerness urged me to spill my guts. I got the feeling she didn’t get to talk to people often. We had that in common.

I locked onto her pleasant face, the only thing in the room that didn’t make me dizzy, and found I wanted to tell her. “Maybe. But first I need to understand where I am and what’s going to happen now. You said false reality, so does that mean this room doesn’t really exist?”

“Oh, it exists, but not in the same reality as the one you grew up in. Right now, you’re kind of straddling the true reality and this one. Once you adjust and accept this place as real, your vision will clear, and you won’t feel so dizzy.”

Ohhhh-kay. “How can anyone create layers of reality? Who is your founder? Some secret government installation at Area 51?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Nobody but those in the Machine knows about us, and now you. Asher said our founder isn’t from here, but I’m not exactly sure what that means, and I’m afraid to ask.”

If their founder wasn’t from here, then where? Another world, like where the wraiths were from? All of it seemed too far-fetched to be real, including Asher shooting Ava.

Images of the bloody snow filled my mental cinema. “Asher killed my roommate. I accidentally let her see your bible, and the wraiths came looking for it. She had a wraith in her, and he couldn’t get it out. Now she’s dead.” Wetness pooled against my lashes, but I blinked it away. “If she’d been rooming with someone else, she’d still be alive. I didn’t think anything would really come through. I just thought I might be imagining the rifts all along, but they’re real. All of this is real, and nobody knows but us. Am I the only one who’s worried about that?”

All of Sophia’s pleasantness drained away in one shot, leaving her scowling. She launched up and marched to the door in bare feet poking out of her skinny jeans, that bright aqua, fuchsia, and purple hair swinging like curled light. “Asher!”

Heavy footsteps sounded outside the room. “What’s wrong?” he asked. I’d have said he sounded concerned if I hadn’t seen him blow a girl’s head off in cold blood.

Sophia propped her hands on her slender hips and stared up, I guessed at Asher, who stood beyond where I could see. “You took an unbound guardian into an extraction and cleansing? That’s cruel even for you. She knew her. Jesus, Asher, what the freakin’ hell were you thinking?”

Her expression went flat when Asher pushed forward, nose to nose with her, until he was framed in the doorway. “Remember who you’re talking to, Outfitter. She’s greener than green, and she’s a coward. How was I supposed to know she’d follow me to them?”

Even outsized in every way, appearing like a child next to him, she stood her ground even though she’d begun to shake. I liked her better for it. “Still, you should have protected her from that. She shouldn’t have been exposed until she’s been trained.”

“There wasn’t time. I told her to go. She didn’t. Not my problem. Now or later, I’d still have to break her shiny new cherry. She’ll be sore for a while, but she’ll get over it.”

I must have made a sound of disgust to go along with my thoughts, because both of them turned to look at me. “I’m not a coward,” I said, “and don’t be crude.” He’d killed someone and intended to make me into whatever he was, and that was what I chose to say? Defend my complete lack of courage and my sensibilities? “I will never do what you did last night.”

They continued to argue, voices lowered so I couldn’t hear. My mind returned to what she’d said about the Shift and my recent time loss. I’d bet the hidden library in Asher’s office had been in the Shift, since it went from morning to night while I’d been in there. And the morning I’d been late for class, I’d inadvertently stepped into at least one alternate reality and lost a half hour. What about when I’d read the bible? Asher said it had caused the time blip, so did it take me into the Shift while I read?

I wasn’t sure how get back to the true reality, but I had to try while they were occupied. Dad would be frantic, especially if more time had gone by than I hoped. But how? I wished I’d been able to finish the book before Ava had interrupted me.

Needing Dad, I imagined myself at our cabin in the woods, my favorite place on earth, his arms around me as we cuddled in his tattered easy chair. Intense emotion swelled in me: joy, loneliness, and determination. A faint image of trees and a gravel driveway overlaid the room. Oh, was it that simple? Think of a place and go there? My vision swam harder as I concentrated on Dad’s face, the many pictures of our adventures on the green walls, the scent of the wood burning in the stone fireplace. Excitement and anxiety rushed through me.

“Don’t do it.” Asher came through the door and reached me in three long strides. My stomach clenched again, but I managed not to barf on him.

“Did she just call the Shift? How can she do that when she hasn’t even been inducted?” Sophia looked from me, to Asher, and back to me as if I’d sprouted a frog on my head.

My concentration broke, and I returned to the infirmary like a rubber band released too hard. Knees buckling, I folded down to sit on the edge of the nearest bed. “Please let me go. Dad needs me.”

Asher paced, his teeth clenched. “She said she could,” he said to Sophia as if I hadn’t even spoken, “… but I didn’t really believe it until now. I haven’t figured out why she’s different than the rest of us, but I will. Now. Today.”

“Why are you so pissed?” Sophia edged toward the door. “You look like you’re about to go off like a bomb.”

I considered why he seemed so agitated, marching back and forth between the beds. I didn’t know him very well, but he was arrogant and most likely high up on the sentinel chain of command. Given his reaction to my extra time loss and a few other things … “Are you mad because I can see the wraiths and you can’t?”

He halted at the side of the bed. His expression flashed between fury and … something. Silence descended like a lead apron.

“Is that true?” Sophia asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’d do anything not to see.”

“That explains a lot.” She hugged herself, shivering, but it wasn’t cold. To Asher, she said, “You’re afraid she’s going to outrank you in the Machine.”

He didn’t appear to be hearing anything outside of his own thoughts, staring at his thousand-dollar loafers. “Try to leave here again, and I’ll take Daddy dearest from you,” he said in that icy, detached voice meant for scaring people in the dark. It worked just fine in the light, too, apparently.

It took a second for his words to sink in. I launched up, drawing in a breath that couldn’t find an escape. “You stay away from him. Do you hear me? Stay the hell away from him!” I made a move for the door, but he cut me off.

“He doesn’t mean he’ll hurt your dad,” Sophia said, then to Asher, “Just tell her so she gets it. She doesn’t understand what you mean.”

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Outfitter,” he barked. “Go, and shut the door behind you. And keep your mouth shut about this.”

Panic tried to half-nelson me, and the tiny amount of energy I’d summoned had evaporated. “I’m leaving. I can’t stay here.”

The door closed with a snick after Sophia left. Nostrils flaring with every exhalation, I turned my face away so I wouldn’t have to look at him. I finally understood the meaning of helpless. He held my life in his hands, and at the moment, I couldn’t do anything about it. It made me sick.

“Look at me, Addison.” His voice sounded normal, human and almost … tender. Nah.

“Screw you. If you touch him, I will kill you.” I flinched at my own words. What startled me more was that I meant it. There weren’t too many people in the world who meant anything to me, but Dad took number one on the list of people I’d trade my life to save. Or Asher’s life, as it were. “And stop being such a jerk to Sophia.”

Fingers shoved into his hair, he closed his eyes for a moment, just breathing. When he finally dropped his arms, he appeared sad as he walked toward me. I backed up until I ran into the door. “I’m not pissed because you can see them, Addison,” he said with tenderness that made my chest ache, brushing my hair over my shoulder. “I’m afraid for you because you can see them.”

I raised my chin, our faces so close, his eyes were a glowing brightness within the shadow of his silhouette. He was afraid for me? I considered asking him why, but decided I didn’t want to know just yet. Maybe ever. Instead, I allowed myself a thorough search of his features and wilting posture and found the telltale signs of regret in him. That’s what I’d seen in him last night after he shot Ava. And that’s what I saw in him now.

“It bothered you, shooting her, didn’t it?” I needed him to say yes. It would take him from monster to a man trapped in a life he didn’t want any more than I wanted the life he threatened to give me.

His face shut down into his icy slate again. “I have no interest in discussing feelings with you. If you try to get away from me again, I will erase everyone you have ever loved and every trace of your life outside the Machine from your head. You think chains are frightening? Just think this one over for a while. You will know nothing but your purpose, your task, and where your loyalties lie—to the Machine. You will be a programmable tool I will use however I deem fit. Are we quite clear?”