Darkness Reborn (Order of the Blade #5) (6 page)

He was so close, but still out of reach. She needed more of him. She needed all of him. She needed all he had to give her. The white light flickered, and she screamed in protest, unable to pull herself out of the chasm she'd fallen into so deeply.
Kane!

You are mine, Sarah.
The words were almost violent, thrusting past her shields and assaulting her fading light. Then his fingers tightened in her hair, his body tensed against her, and he kissed her, a kiss that claimed her very soul and offered her his. It plunged deep inside her, past the darkness, past the despair, past the approaching death, right to the light that burned in her very core.

A tiny spark flickered. One spark. One spark of life, of renewal, of hope.

Yes.
The word burned deep in her soul, calling to Kane, asking him for all that he had.

Yes.
His answer was fierce in her mind, and then he clasped her face and deepened the kiss, an almost violent assault that demanded her response, that allowed no room to ignore him. It was a kiss of ownership and connection, a forced merging of their spirits. It was so full of intensity and strength that it stripped away all her despair, hopelessness, and abandoned faith. Instead, the kiss ignited such passion, yearning and fire within her that it almost hurt.

The kiss was everything she needed. Kane was everything she needed. This kiss was their future, their hope that something good still existed in this life. She flung her arms around him and kissed him back, opening herself completely to him, entrusting him with her very soul...exactly as she'd sworn never to do again.

After her soul mate had murdered her family, Sarah shut herself down to save herself, and now her only chance to survive was to throw her entire being into the safekeeping of the man meant to destroy her.

Sarah didn't hesitate. She just pulled him down and kissed him back with everything she had.

This man, this moment, was worth the risk.

* * *

When Sarah's body softened beneath his, Kane realized she'd accepted his kiss. Passion instantly rushed over him so intensely he could barely breathe. He tangled his fingers in her hair, plunging into the kiss, into the connection, desperate for the relief she gave him.

The void inside him, the one that had been threatening to consume him for so long, raged in fury, refusing to relinquish its grip on him, refusing to lose him to Sarah. It swelled in intensity, trying to suck him down, battling against the emotions that Sarah had brought to life.

It was like a battle between two demons inside him. The dark. The light. The pain. The salvation. Death. Life. Hell.
Sarah.
Every cell in Kane's body burned like acid had been bled into his veins, plunging through him and incinerating every tissue in his body. The more he kissed her and the more he immersed himself in her, the greater the pain. Sweat streamed over his brow, and his body shook from the force of the internal battle being waged within him. "Son of a bitch." He broke the kiss, gasping at the surge of agony ripping through him. Bracing himself above Sarah, he threw his head back, bellowing in fury at the darkness eviscerating him. "What the fuck do you want?" he shouted at the blackness trying to take him. "What the hell is it?"

Kane.

Sarah's desperate voice broke through the darkness trying to consume Kane, and he jerked his gaze down to the woman beneath him. Her dark hair was tangled across the forest floor, her skin ashen, tears squeezing out beneath her thick lashes. His gut tore as he saw the marks on her throat from her brother, the bruises covering her arms. Her body was trembling beneath his, so vulnerable, so fragile, so desperate.

Her eyes flickered open, and he saw anguish in those blue depths. There was so much pain and betrayal in them. Fear. Hopelessness. The extent of her suffering tore right through his gut. "No more, Sarah," he growled. "No fucking more."

Then he lowered himself on top of her and offered every single breath of life he had to give. It wasn't much. Hell, it wasn't much at all, but it had been enough to keep him alive after five hundred years of battle and life-threatening injury. It had to be enough to save her. He was going to make damn sure it was.

He fisted her hair and kissed her again, and this time, he gave her everything. The kiss was intense and ravaging, and he unleashed every last bit of fury, anger, hope, life and passion he had into their connection.

Yes,
Sarah whispered.
More.

You can have it all.
Kane deepened the kiss, thrusting everything he had into it. But the moment he opened himself to her, the darkness inside him roared to life, trying to hold him back, trying to stop him from connecting with the beauty of her spirit. The physical pain was brutal, like knives carving off his skin, but the depths of torment to his soul was a thousand times worse. It felt like something was trying to vacuum his spirit right out of his chest. His breath stuck in his lungs, and he fought for air, even as he deepened his kiss, reaching for Sarah with the very soul that the darkness was trying to tear away from him.

Come to my light, Kane. Connect us. I can help you.

A primal scream began to hammer at his mind, the wail of death and darkness trying to overtake him. He knew this was what had been coming for him for so long, and it was trying to take him now. He fought for breath, he fought for sanity, and he fought for his soul, even as he continued to offer himself to Sarah, trying to give her spirit an anchor to hold onto. Their connection wasn't just for her now. It was for him. He felt like her kiss, her touch, her skin were all that was keeping him from being sucked into the void clawing at his ankles, trying to drag him down further and further...

Sarah flattened her palm across his chest, and white heat leapt from her, knifing right into his chest, splitting the blackness away from his lungs. He sucked in his breath frantically, his heart pounding with the violence trying to take it.

He knew then that as much as he was her salvation, she was his. She was his only chance, and he was hers. He had no idea what was going on between them, but he knew that neither of them had a chance alone. They needed more. They both needed more. They needed each other. And they needed it now.

He shoved at her shirt, tearing it over her head. Skin to skin, the rush leapt through him, and Sarah gasped at the contact as he lowered himself back on top of her.

Yes, Kane. Yes
. Sarah ran her fingers through his hair, kissing him as desperately as he was kissing her.

He kissed her jaw, her throat, her collar bone, her breasts. Frantic, desperate, a race against death for both of them. He fought to reach for her with his mind, but the darkness was like a shield between them.
Sarah. I can't reach you.

You have to! This isn't enough!

Kane felt the brush of her mind, and he was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of heart-wrenching desperation, despair and failure that he immediately realized was Sarah's. It was so intense it shook him to the core, nearly breaking their connection under the onslaught of the darkness still attacking him.
Shit.
He opened his mind to hers, knowing he needed to reach more than her mind and her thoughts. He needed to access her soul, the life that beat within her.
Sarah. Let me in.

She clung to him, kissing him fiercely, her lips moving desperately under his as the intensity of their kiss deepened.
I'm trying. I'm not used to making myself vulnerable.

He swore and pulled back, framing her face with his hands. "Sarah," he growled. "Open your eyes."

Her eyes fluttered open, and his gut seized at the fading light within them. "I will never hurt you. Trust me," he ordered. "Put yourself in my hands, and I swear on my Order oath that I will keep you safe."

She stared at him, and he felt the intensity of her conflict. Terror so deep it was like a cold film coating her spirit, increasing the gulf between them. He swore as he felt their connection begin to falter, as her skin began to get cold. "No!" He gripped her face, searching some sign that he was reaching her. "Come on, Sarah! Now!"

He felt a sudden surge of determination rush through her, and her eyes deepened. "Now," she said. She grabbed him around the back of the neck and pulled him down toward her.

He met her mouth with desperate furor. The instant their lips met, shock reverberated through his head. Violence, anger, despair, death, and light, life, hope, faith. Her emotions, her life force surged through him, yanking him toward her. Rightness exploded through him, a desperate need to connect, and his kisses turned frenzied and uncontrollable. He poured his soul into her, and then he saw it, gleaming faint and white in his mind.

A flame.

A tiny, white flame, fluttering in a breeze he couldn't feel. Her life force, barely holding on. It was calling to him, beckoning to him. A salvation. A sanctuary. A challenge.

His spirit broke away from the darkness eating at him and rushed toward that white light, using it as a guide.

"Yes," Sarah gasped, gripping his shoulders.

"You're mine," he growled, his soul burning with the need for more of her. Her soul, her body, her mind, her entire being. He couldn't get close enough, couldn't touch enough of her, couldn't tighten the bond between them sufficiently as the dark specters screamed in his mind, fighting to hold onto him.

Sarah was his white light. She was his life, his chance, his sanity, as he was hers. He tore off his pants, and yanked off hers, shocked by the feel of her body against him as he settled back over her. Her skin was like hand-spun silk, so soft and smooth against his skin, unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

This kind of beauty wasn't his life. This wasn't his world. Such delicacy, such purity, such passion. He was overwhelmed by the sensations rushing through him, by the depth of the craving pulsing through him as he ran his hands over her body, as he kissed her breasts, her ribs, and her belly.

Sarah shook beneath him, her body still trembling, the cracks still evident on her skin. Anger rushed through him, fury that she could hurt like that. What was he doing thinking that he could save her? He wasn't the man to offer tender love and delicate caresses to a woman. He was violence, he was bloodshed, and he was battle. He was a man without a past, without a soul, without—

"Kane!" Sarah gripped his shoulders, her eyes wide with sudden fear.

He felt it then, the last grip of her soul, leaving her body. "No!" He roared in outrage, and he dropped his hips and plunged his erection inside her, connecting with her the only way he knew how. Violent heat exploded between them, and Sarah screamed as Kane bellowed from the intensity of the connection. White light flooded the night, and Kane thrust again, and again, and again, utterly consumed by his need for her. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she raised her hips to meet his.

Sarah. God, yes, this is it.
Kane reached for her with his mind, and this time, he found her. She reached for him at the same time, and their souls met, a fierce connection of such passion and desire, of raging life that it shook him all the way to his very core. He was barely even aware of the darkness screaming through him in rage. All he could feel was the pressure in his chest, the burning of life through his body, life he'd hadn't felt in five hundred years.

He thrust it all into Sarah, into her body, into her mind, into her soul, offering her every last bit of life that he had. He offered her his pain from when Dante had died. He showed her the intensity of his emotions when Dante had pulled him from the gutter. And he bared his soul to her, allowing her to see the gaping emptiness inside him, and the way everything had changed for him the moment he'd heard her voice.

Oh, Kane.
Her voice was so tender, so beautiful that his chest tightened. Soft white light flooded him, shining into the very depths of his soul, making the darkness shrink away, screaming in protest.
Thank you for that gift. I will treasure it always. It is safe with me.

Safe?
Safe. He hadn't felt safe in five hundred years since he'd woken up with no past and a body covered in scars. But now, in Sarah's arms, with the beauty of her spirit filling him, he felt like he'd just come home. "Sarah." Her name was like a gift on his lips, and the moment he said it, uncontrollable passion swept through him. He drove once more, and then exploded into her. Sarah shouted his name, clinging to him as the orgasm swept through both of them, igniting the night with a white light so blinding and so intense he felt sure he would never see again.

And that was okay with him.

This moment...it was what he'd been searching for so relentlessly for five hundred years.

Pinned to the earth by his weight, Sarah grasped Kane's muscular shoulders as he slept on top of her. Her body was still thrumming from the intensity of their lovemaking, by the sheer force of life he'd thrust into her. They'd both crashed the minute the orgasm had taken them, plunging into the healing sleep that would restore both of them.

The first light of dawn had awakened her. Sarah stared in awe as the sky filled with the orange glow of a new day. She'd thought she would never see the light again, and yet here she was, alive. Not completely healed, not safe, but she'd been given the gift of one more day.

Thanks to Kane.

She studied the man wrapped around her, his arms and legs entangled with hers, tucking her into the protective shield of his body. His light brown hair was tousled, the whiskers on his jaw thick, his body still tense even in his healing sleep. She knew that although he was healing himself, he was still alert, and if there was any threat, he'd be awake in a split second.

Warmth filled her at the realization that he was there to protect her. How could this Calydon be her salvation? How could he make her safe? Like all other Calydons, he'd been created to destroy her, and yet he was the one who'd plucked her from the precipice of death, offering her his very soul. All Calydons, those from the Order and those from her village, derived their powers from demon magic. As an angel, she was the one thing standing in the way of demons, making her a primary target for them.

Demons couldn't cross over onto the earth themselves, so they did it through those they could taint, like the Calydons, turning them into their weapons. The village of Akara was closely connected with the Afterlife, which is why it could support angels, but that meant it was a vulnerable place for demons to try to finally break through. They wanted the village, and they wanted to destroy the angels who protected it. Kane was a Calydon, which meant that his instinct, his nature, was to destroy her. But he hadn't. He'd saved her. How was that possible?

Emotions tightened her throat as she recalled the intensity of what he'd shared with her. How immense had the void within his soul been? It was a gaping emptiness where his spirit should have been. Literally, he had no soul. How did he live like that? It had felt like someone had carved his soul right out of his body, leaving behind nothing but some paper-thin filaments to hold him together.

But then, when they'd connected, it was as if something had come roaring to life within him. His soul? His spirit? She didn't understand how he could seem so empty, and then minutes later, find his way to such incredible passion and emotion. It was almost as if there were two different men inside him. The intensity of Kane's response when they had finally connected emotionally had been so powerful, and it mirrored exactly what she'd felt when she'd made contact with him. How was it possible for there to be something so intense between them? Even with Mason, she'd never experienced that kind of intensity and connection. It had been amazing and powerful, touching her soul in the most beautiful way.

She smiled as she trailed her fingers through his hair, basking in the softness of the strands. Kane was different from Mason. More powerful. More intense. More burdened. It was terrifying, but at the same time, exhilarating and intoxicating.

With a sigh, Sarah ran her fingers down his neck, then frowned when she felt the ridges in his skin. She lifted her head to look more closely, and then her heart broke at what she saw. His entire body was covered in markings carved into his skin. She recalled now seeing the scars when he'd first appeared, but then chaos had erupted and she hadn't thought about it again.

Last night when they'd made love, it had been too dark for her to see them, and she'd been so close to death she hadn't felt them with her hands. His body had been shadows, salvation, and her only hope at life. But now, to see the extent of the damage to his skin... Who had done that to him? Her body went cold at the idea of how much he must have suffered.

Then she recognized the shape of one of the scars on his shoulder blade, and she stiffened. No. Impossible. It couldn't be. She leaned closer, and her mouth went dry.

She propped herself up for a better look, and foreboding filled her when she confirmed her first reaction. Carved in Kane's skin was the same talisman that she'd given to her brother to keep him from being consumed by the curse that haunted all the men in her village. It was the same talisman that hung on the door of every house in her village. It was the same one that had dangled from the neck of her husband as he'd struck down their child.

And it was all over Kane's body, plus dozens more she didn't even recognize. Was he from her village? She went rigid in sudden fear, as memories assaulted her. Of stories told to her as a child, warnings of Los Muerte, the black specter who had haunted the woods. Los Muerte had nearly wiped angels from their village single-handedly six hundred years ago in a violent fortnight of death and destruction. He was the monster that had sired the race of creatures who hunted her even now. The one that nobody could stop. "Oh my God." Was Kane actually Los Muerte? Had he finally returned to finish what he had begun so long ago?

Her heart pounding, her instincts screaming at her to run, Sarah squirmed her way out from beneath Kane, horrified by the desire that licked through her as his arm slid across her belly. Her skin pulsed at the feel of his bare skin against hers, desire racing through her even as panic hammered at her.

Still in his healing sleep, Kane grunted and reached for her, his strong hand wrapping around her ankle. Sarah froze, terrified, waiting for him to rear up and attack her...but his touch was warm and gentle. Reassuring. His thumb stroked her ankle bone, a casual but seductive caress that made longing cascade through her belly.

How could this man be Los Muerte? She'd seen inside him. There'd been no death, no destruction, just the honor of a warrior who had given his life to his mission. Then she remembered the emptiness inside him, the gaping darkness that had fought for him, trying to take him from her. His complete lack of a soul. She'd had to fight for Kane to access enough of his humanity to reach her, and only her white light had created the fissure that had enabled her and Kane to break him free enough to save her.

Frowning, Sarah knelt beside him, a sense of rightness settling on her as he cupped her calf and shifted closer to her, pressing his face against her lap. She touched the markings on his back, tracing the designs as she looked at them more carefully. There was definitely the one she'd first recognized, but there were others that also matched those in her village. The concentric circles that were engraved on the fountain in the old village. The tear drop that was carved into the boulders at the entrance to the old pit. Plus so many others she'd never seen before. All the designs were overlaid, as if whoever had carved them hadn't wanted even a breath of space between the talismans.

Had they been protecting Kane from the demon trying to take him? Or were the talismans the very thing destroying his soul? "What are you, Kane?" she whispered. "What happened to you?"

He moved suddenly, gripping her arm. She tensed, but he didn't awaken. Heat burned in her forearm where he touched her, and she looked down, expecting to see steam rising off her skin.

But there was no steam.

Just a thin, silver line down her forearm.

Fear knifed through her and she yanked her arm back. "Oh,
no
."

Gone was the brand that had marked her as Mason's
sheva,
a daily reminder that she'd blindly and foolishly opened her heart to the man whose curse had compelled him to murder her family, her daughter, and then try to kill her too. The brand that never let her forget how close she'd come to failing all of humanity by putting her trust in the man destined to kill her. Not just all of humanity, but the one specific person she was meant to protect. Angels rarely knew who they were linked to for protection, but she knew her life force was holding the souls of others. If she died, then they would lose hope and faith, and without that, the soul could not survive.

Mason's brand had served as a constant reminder to never make the mistake of trusting again. That brand, that reminder, was gone. It was gone.

In its place was pure, unblemished skin, marred only by a thin, silver line, one on each arm.

Her heart hammering in her chest, she looked at Kane's arm, at the dark brand on his skin that marked his weapon as a double spiked flail. The handle was a perfect match for the mark on her arm.

She was his soul mate, and they'd completed their first stage of the bond by having sex.

Dear God.
Not again.

Now she understood why the connection between them had been so intense and powerful. Why she'd been able to feel his emotions and hear his thoughts. Why his touch had been like the very salvation brought to save her life. How could she not have realized it? The mind-to-mind communication? Of course she was his soul mate! But she'd been so caught up in almost dying and the gift of his protection that she hadn't questioned it. She'd just clung to what he offered and accepted it unconditionally, not even taking time to think about what it might mean.

Like the fact she was his
sheva.
His soul mate. The woman destined to be sucked relentlessly under his spell until there was nothing left of her, and death took both of them. She'd barely survived last time. Again?
Not again.

If he was Los Muerte, then she'd just bound herself to him, giving him access to her soul and her spirit. Giving him the tools he needed to finally destroy her.

"Damn you, Kane." She'd given herself to him so completely last night, accepted his very soul, trusted him as she hadn't dared trust in so long...and it was all a lie.

Frantically, she replayed the rest of their time together. Had they done any of the other five stages of the bond? Sex yes, no doubt about that. What about the others? Trust—had either of them shared one of their deepest secrets or given the other one the power to kill them? No, no, no, she was sure they hadn't. Transference? No, she hadn't called out his weapon. That was definite. They hadn't done the blood bond either. Death—had either of them killed to save the other or offered their life? She grimaced as she thought of the battle outside the mansion, of how Jacob had fallen. Had Kane dealt the killing blow to anyone who'd been about to kill her? Maybe, God, maybe.

Her heart pounding, she stared at the marks on her arms, trying to determine whether there were enough lines to justify two stages of the bond, or whether only one-fifth of his mark was present. No, no, no, there was just the one thin line on each arm, barely any of his brand. That had to be only one stage. Just sex. Not death...which meant Jacob was alive. Relief cascaded through her, quickly followed by wariness. She gulped, looking around the woods. If Jacob was alive, he would be coming for her again. She would need to stick with Kane for protection.

Crap! She couldn't stay with Kane! If she did, the bond would draw them ruthlessly together, until it was completed. Right now, there were still four stages left. She wasn't locked down yet. She could keep him at a distance...but even as she thought it, she felt the surge of desire and need for him. The calling of her soul to his, inextricably bound by the destiny that was calling them together.

"Dammit!" Sarah hugged herself as she stared at the man who had saved her life only hours before, who had made her believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for her and for them. She felt the last vestiges of hope and faith that Kane had brought to life within her begin to fade. Was he the man meant to destroy her? The most deadly monster of them all? A thousand times worse than Mason and Jacob?

She'd been wrong about the two men she'd known her whole life. How could she possibly see Kane's true self when she barely knew him? The
sheva
bond would obscure her ability to do anything but tumble into his arms and under his spell.

She couldn't take the chance. She had to separate from him while she still could. Her need for him tearing at her heart, Sarah forced herself to turn away from him and grab her clothes. She had to get away from him before he sucked her in, before she made the same mistake for the third time, the fatal time.

"I won't die," she said fiercely. "Not even for you, Kane." She yanked her clothes on, grabbed her grandmother's talisman and then took off into the forest, running for her life, running toward the one chance she had left: the village of Nashoba and a community that could save her.

And while she was heading toward Nashoba, she was fleeing from the male that had already touched her heart, into whose safekeeping and strong arms she wanted to throw herself. She'd turned away from the first man in seven years that she'd wanted to trust.

* * *

Kane bolted upright, leaping to his feet as he sprang back to consciousness from his healing sleep. The moment he'd awoken, he'd known Sarah was missing, and panic had instantly assaulted him. The woods were bright, the sun high in the sky, as he spun around and searched the woods for Sarah. Jesus. Where the hell was she? How had he not woken up when she left? "Sarah!" he shouted.

There was no reply. Just the chatter of chipmunks, the twitter of birds, and the sound of the breeze through the trees.
Sarah.
He reached out to her with his mind, and found nothing. Not even a sense of her energy.

She was gone.

Wrongness and loss plunged through him, so intently that his weapons appeared in his hands, ready to attack. The dark void swelled inside him, clawing at him, trying to take him. "Fuck off," he growled.

He didn't know what was after him. He had no damn clue what it was, but he knew that Sarah had held it at bay. Sarah had been his anchor, his salvation. He had to find her. He
would
find her. Fierce commitment surged through him, a need to find the woman who had plunged through the emotional void he'd had for so long. He wanted more of her. He wanted to feel her spirit tangled with his. He needed to know who she was, what was after her.