Darkness & Light (War of the Fae: Book 3) (22 page)

We arrived in no time and I approached the first fae I saw.
 
“Excuse me, but I need to get a blood sample from this pixie,” I jerked my thumb towards my shoulder.
 
“Can you tell me where to go for that?”

The guy looked at me like I was nuts.
 
“You want a what from a
what?”

I sighed.
 
I hated repeating myself when I knew I was being perfectly clear.
 
“I need a
blood
sample to be taken from this
pixie
on my
shoulder
.
 
Who does that around here?”

“Uh, I do.
 
I guess.
 
But it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do ... ”

“Yeah, I figured.
 
So ... where do you want us?”

He hesitated for a second and then said, “Go over to that exam table over there and someone will be right with you.”

Huh.
 
That seemed easy enough.
 
Back home I would have needed a referral from my primary care doctor, an insurance card indicating I paid a hefty monthly sum for the privilege of having said card, a checkbook ...
 
You gotta love socialized fae medicine
.

Tim climbed down from my shoulder, using my hand as his delivery vehicle to get to the white paper stretched out across the exam table.
 
His little feet crinkled it up as he paced back and forth on top.
 
He was muttering under his breath as he walked, but not loud enough for even me to hear what he was saying.
 

I’m pretty sure he knew better than to complain to me.
 
I tried not to feel too much pity for his little wing stumps, one of which was still a little blackened.
 
I needed to harden my heart against his evil pixie manipulations.
 
He could be very convincing when he wanted to be.
 
I needed that blood sample, no matter what.

A healer arrived at the table – a different one than had greeted us.
 
This one looked older.

“Did I hear correctly that you want a blood sample taken from this pixie?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I’m sorry, but may I ask what you need it for?”

“No, you may not.”
 
There.
 
We’ll see if the intimidation factor was going to work with this guy.

He visibly stiffened.
 
“Well then, I’m afraid we cannot help you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” I asked angrily.
 
I should have known it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Well, I suppose I should have said, ‘won’t’.”

“Why?”

“I should think that would be fairly obvious.”

“Well, obviously it’s
not
, or I wouldn’t be asking.”
 
I was rapidly losing my cool.

“Jayne, you may want to chill a little,” warned Tim.

“Perhaps I should call someone on the council to discuss this matter.
 
Collecting pixie blood is not something to be taken lightly,” said the uptight fae, turning to leave.

I grabbed his arm.
 
“No, don’t bother.
 
I’ll tell you why we need it – it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”
 
I tried to brush it all off, hoping he’d buy it.

“I’m all ears,” he said sarcastically.

“I’m going to see the witch, Maggie.
 
She needs the blood for a remedy for the pixie’s wing.
 
As you can see he ran into a little problem.”
 
I gestured to his back and Tim was good enough to hunch himself over to display his horrible stubs.
 
“Her methods of getting blood are ... uh ... well, a little violent.
 
So I’m coming to you so that the pixie won’t be abused.
 
I know you guys are, like, top notch and all.”

“Well, that’s a different matter then.”
 
He smiled under the compliment.
 
“See?
 
It wasn’t so difficult to answer a simple question, was it?”

I held back my honest retort and just smiled sweetly instead.
 
I didn’t trust myself to speak – copious amounts of cuss words were sure to be involved.

“Wait one moment and I’ll get the spike.”

Spike?

Tim’s pacing increased.
 
Now his muttering got loud enough that I could hear it.
 
“ ... Just pixie one fae,
one fae
, and everyone gets freaked out.
 
It’s just a little unbridled happiness.
 
Why is everyone so down on happiness these days?
 
Chase was boring anyway.
 
All he ever did was look at you.
 
Never said a word.
 
Probably never smiled in his whole life.
 
Now look at him.
 
Happy!
 
Happy, and everyone’s all upset ... ” and on and on it went until the healer returned.
 
I tried to block out Tim’s rants because I didn’t altogether disagree with him.
 
A lot of fae could use a little more merriment in their lives from what I’d seen.
 
Drop dead with delirium merriment
?...
No.
 
But a little dance now and again, some laughs?
 
Yes.

The healer was standing next to the table with his two hands held out, his thumb and forefinger of each hand pinched together, as if he was about to sit down, cross his legs and do some meditation, mumbling some crazy shit like ‘ohm’ or whatever.
 
He also had a giant band around his head with some goggles attached to it.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” he asked, all smiles now.

He used the back of his hands to pull the goggles down in front of his eyes, looking over at me when he was done.

I burst out laughing, unable to help myself.
 
These goggles were some kind of magnifier, but one like I’d never seen before.
 
I swear
,
his eyes were the size of dinner plates.

He waited patiently for me to calm down.

“I’ll bet you could see a pimple on a pixie’s ass with those things on.”

“Precisely,” he said, all business now.
 
“Could you please hold him down on the table so I can prick a vein?”

I looked at him dubiously.
 
“You’re gonna prick his vein?
 
With what?”

“With this.”
 
He held up one of his hands that
was
still in a position like he was about to take a hit off a skinny joint.

“Your invisible
spliff
?”

“No.
 
The spike I’m holding in my hand.
 
You can’t see it without the magnifiers on.
 
It’s very thin.”

“
Oooooh
, I get it.”
 
I squinted my eyes and thought I maybe caught a glimpse of something – it looked like the finest wisp of a spider’s web, but stiff.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tim start to run.
 
I could hear the paper crinkling with each little step.

“Oh, no you don’t, you little bastard.
 
Get back here.”

I snagged him and held him up to my face.
 

He was fuming.
 
“I don’t want to do it!
 
I change my mind!”

I turned around so my back was to the healer, whispering fiercely, “Then I change my mind about pixie colonies!”
 
I had to play it tough with him or we were going to be here a long time and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
 
Plus this healer guy was no dummy.
 
He wouldn’t stick around to be pixied if he thought there was a chance it might happen.

“You
wouldn’t!”
Tim shouted, angry tears glistening in his eyes.

“I would; trust me, little man.
 
Friends help friends.
 
Friends undo their
mistakes
.”
 
I turned back towards the healer, my eyebrow raised at Tim, giving him as meaningful a look as I could while also trying not to arouse the healer’s suspicions.

“Fine!
 
But then I’m done helping.”

“You’re done when it’s done and that’s it.
 
Now enough of your bullshit.
 
Lay down on the table and man up.”

“I’m not a
man
.
 
I’m a
pixie!”
he screeched.

“Well, then,
pixie up
, you little shit
.”

I could see the healer trying not to smile.
 
I shot him a warning look, knowing full well that if Tim saw us laughing at him, I’d have to start all over trying to get him to cooperate.

Tim lay down on the table, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Where are you going to stick him?”

“The leg is best.
 
Or the forehead.”

I looked at him aghast.
 
No way was I letting him put that thing near Tim’s forehead.
 
One slip and Tim would be blinded or lobotomized or something.
 
“Let’s go with the leg.”
 
I looked at Tim.
 
“I’m gonna hold you down.
 
Don’t you get all feisty on me.”

He just glared at me.

I waited until he pulled his pants down and then
laid
back, his tunic still covering his nether regions, thank goodness.
 
I gently put my forefinger from one hand across his lower legs and my other forefinger across his chest, over his crossed arms that he refused to move.

The healer leaned over with his giant goggles, and I moved as far to the side as I could to give him room.
 
He lowered his fingers with the spike in it.
 
I could tell when he touched Tim with it because Tim flinched.
 
And yelled.

“
Ow
!
 
Watch it buddy.
 
Get that thing any higher and I’m gonna bust your ugly ass!”

“Tim says to please not go any higher.”

“Tell him the busting his ugly ass part, Jayne.
 
Tell him.”

“No.”

“ ‘No’ what?” asked the doctor, focusing on his
blood-letting
.

“Nothing.
 
How’s it going?”

“Well.”
 
He lifted his hand with the spike out of the way.
 
“So far so good.
 
Now for the collection.”

He lowered his other
spliff
-positioned fingers from the other hand down towards Tim’s leg.

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m collecting his blood in this pipette.”

“What the hell is a pipette?”

“In
layfae’s
terms, it’s a small glass tube that has a natural vacuum action to it that draws the blood up and into the tube.
 
I’m placing it on the small pool of blood on the pixie’s leg so the blood will go into our tube here.
 
You will take this tube to the witch when I am done.”

“How am I going to do that when I can’t even see it?”

“I have a carrying case for you to transport it in.
 
The blood will not last long.
 
You must move quickly.”

“Oh.”
 
I looked down at Tim and he seemed to be holding up well.
 
He wasn’t struggling anymore, although he still looked very grouchy.

The healer stood up, holding the pipette out in front of his goggles.
 
“Very nice.
 
That went better than expected.”

“It did?
 
I guess that’s good.”

“Yes, you never can tell with these tiny veins.
 
But he’s a tough one.
 
He’ll be just fine.
 
Have him put a little pressure on that spot, will you?
 
Here’s some gauze.”

He handed me a small gauze packet from his coat pocket.
 
It was about the size of half of Tim’s body.

I unwrapped it and handed it to Tim, watching as he took it and placed it on his legs.
 
I ignored his renewed grumbling and bitching.

The healer walked away to prepare for the transportation of the blood.
 
I tried not to laugh as he bumped into two tables on his way out, still wearing the goggles.

“Thanks, Tim.”

“Whatever.”

“You know, I’ve never mentioned this, but I’ve noticed that you speak kinda more modern than the other fae, if you know what I mean.
 
How come?”

“Because I’ve been around.”