Darkness, Kindled (5 page)

He hated the uncertainty in her expression.

“We need to talk.” To his surprise, he saw her mouth tremble as she nodded, gracefully bringing her feet to the floor. Her eyes were wide and wounded, and Jai cursed. “Dammit, Ari, don’t look at me like that.”

He saw a flash of anger as her spine straightened and he immediately felt better at the sight of her fire.

“Like what?”

“Like I just killed your cat.”

“I don’t have a cat,” she sniffed haughtily.

He rubbed a hand over his 
close-cropped hair and sat on the sofa nearest her, his eyes boring into her very angry ones. “Why do I feel like I’ve been a bad guy for days now? I don’t even know what I’ve done except be a gentleman.”

Ari stared at him incredulously. He had a feeling he was about to get another lesson on the mysterious female psyche. “For two months, Jai? Look, I appreciate you giving me my own room and letting me know that you weren’t pressuring me into anything. But stretching it into two months of nothing but kisses and a patronizing nod to tell me it was my bedtime is not about me. It’s about you and what Michael and everyone else here thinks about you. About what you think about you. I get it.” She stood, face flushed with frustration. Jai felt his own blood heat at her accusation.

“You’re Jai Bitar. Honorable, responsible, guardian Ginnaye. God forbid he ever sleep with his eighteen-year-old girlfriend!”

“Ari, stop.”

“No.” She huffed. “Do you know how bad you made me feel about myself? Do you know how worried I was that you thought this was a mistake?”

“You?” Jai snapped. “What about me?

Rather than tell me this stuff, you treated me like crap. I thought you thought it was a mistake.”

But he might as well have stayed quiet. She was on a roll. “And it’s not just the sex thing. You don’t talk to me.”

Well, that was the biggest load of BS he’d ever heard. “Bullshit.”

“I ask you about your dad. What he did to you … and you shut me down.”

“You asked me if I was okay with it, and I told you I was.”

“But you’re clearly not.”

He squeezed his eyes closed, 
willing himself not to lose his cool with her. “I think I remember telling you when we first met that when a guy says he’s fine, he means he’s fine!” So much for keeping his cool.

“Don’t shout at me!”

Disbelieving at the insensible, illogical fight unfurling out of control, Jai grimaced. She was shouting at him. “You’re nuts.”

Definitely the wrong thing to say.

Hurt settled into her features before she drew herself up. “Thanks for the talk. Dick.”

She moved to hurry past him but Jai wasn’t done. Frustration, longing, lust, love, anger, it all mingled together in a need to have her see the truth. In a need to just … have her.

His arm shot out quick as 
lightning, his hand curling around her bicep as he yanked her down over him. He fell back against the sofa cushions, rearranging her as she huffed and fussed so that she was straddling his lap. She tried to bat away his hands but he grabbed her wrists, restraining her so she was pressed flush against him, their faces not even an inch apart. Jai stared into her unusual eyes, eyes that searched his frantically. “Did we make a mistake, Jai?” she whispered, her breath teasing his lips. “Did we move too fast?”

He let go of her wrists to smooth his hands down her slender hips, pulling her closer. Ari’s breath hitched, her hands coming to rest on his chest. It was rising and falling a little more quickly than normal, and she could probably feel his heart slamming against her palm. “I think we’re new at this. And I think we need to start talking to each other.”

“You’re not really much of a talker.”

Jai grunted in acknowledgement and brushed a soft kiss across her mouth. Bad idea. His mouth tingled and his skin prickled with heat. At the second hitch in Ari’s breath, he knew she felt it too. “Then I’ll start.” He pulled back a little so he could look into her face, so that she could look into his and see the sincerity there. “You’re right.

There is no getting over my father’s betrayal but when I said I’m fine, I am fine, Ari. There’s nothing for me to talk about. Nothing for me to work out of my system. What he did gave me clarity, I told you that. I meant it. I’m okay, because … I have you. Because you showed me what family really is.”

“Jai …,” she whispered, pressing closer, the clean scent of soap and vanilla causing another flush of heat to engulf him. She always smelled so amazing.

“I’m not done.” His hands flexed on her hips. “As for … sex …” He stopped. Just the word set off frustrated sparks inside of him. He tried to control the tightness in his lap and failed. Ari nudged against him, her excited puffs of breath causing the fog to start in his brain. “Ari,” he breathed, his grip on her hard. “Don’t.”

“Why?” She licked at his mouth and he groaned, pulling his head back.

“Because …” he tried to clear the fog. “You’re distracting me from what I was saying.”

“You said … as for sex …”

“Right.” His gaze fell to her 
mouth. Ari had the perfect mouth. He’d obsessed over that mouth since he’d kissed it for the first time when he put the trace on her. It was lush and full. It wasn’t an innocent mouth. Jai jerked his head back. “Okay. Stop.”

Hearing the determination in his voice, Ari stopped wriggling and drew back, glaring at him. “This is what I’m talking about. How can it be so easy for you to stop when it feels like I’m going to come out of my freaking skin?”

He laughed, which was so the wrong thing to do. Ari huffed in outrage and tried to climb off him, but Jai wrapped his arms around her, bands of steel she couldn’t escape. “I’m not laughing at you,” he promised. “I’m laughing at the fact that you think every time I walk away from you, it’s somehow easy for me. Do you know how many cold showers I’ve taken since we moved in together? One a day. On occasion, two.”

Ari’s mouth parted in surprise.

“Oh.”

“Oh is right. Ari, I wanted

you to know that this is more than sex. I wanted you to feel safe with me.

Loved. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been damn hard. Pardon the pun.”

Ari grinned and nodded. “I do feel loved.” Jai sighed inwardly as she reached up to stroke his cheek. That warm, overwhelming feeling was back in his chest for the first time in days. It was the feeling he got knowing Ari loved him like no one ever had. “But when you love someone as much as I love you, sex is a part of that. A big part of that.

I don’t think wanting you, or you wanting me, diminishes all the other parts of being in love. It makes it whole.”

Jai rested his head back on the 
couch and stared at her from under his lashes, wondering how he got so lucky.

“I keep forgetting you’re smart.”

She hit him playfully, a smile 
tugging the corner of her mouth. “Tell me you love me back, dumbass, or I’m getting off your lap and never getting back on it. Ever.”

Jai grinned up at her. “Well, I 
can’t allow that.” His hands on her hips drew her toward him and he pressed a soft, lush kiss to her waiting mouth. When he pulled back, he looked deep into her ever-changing eyes and whispered roughly, with more feeling than he could possibly contain, “I love you. And I’m sorry I ever made you think I didn’t want you. You’re right. Part of me was keeping up appearances. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you 
about it and instead acted like a huffy, immature teenager. But in my defense,” 
she added quickly with a saucy smile, “I am a teenager.”

Jai groaned. “Don’t. You’ll make me feel even more debauched than I already do.”

“Debauched? Why, Mr. Bitar, have you been reading historical romances again?”

Serious love ripped through him and he laughed, his regard adoring. “God, I love you.”

He saw her smile and dip her head, trying to hide the spring of tears in her eyes at his words. Relief coursed through him and Jai wrapped his arms around her until they were hugging each other tightly. After a moment of warm reconciliation, he heard her sigh heavily.

“What is it?”

“We have more to discuss, I’m 
afraid. And none of it good.”

When she pulled back, Jai nodded. “I have something to tell you too.”

Ari cupped his face in her hands, her expression grave. “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”

“Baby, you’re not going to like my news, either.”

***

Feeling overwhelming relief, Ari sat back on Jai’s lap, loving the absence of the churning knots in her stomach.

They’d both acted like idiots. It was time to learn from that mistake. Ari shifted and tried to escape his lap, but Jai’s hold on her tightened and he frowned.

“Where are you going?”

She smiled. “I think I better 
remove myself from your person so we can talk. Your lap is very distracting,” 
she told him pointedly and not without a little feminine smugness.

Jai nodded and let her slide off.

She curled next to him. “Do you want to go first?”

Her heart thumped nervously. “I 
have two things to tell you. You go first.”

“The Guild suspects Charlie’s back in town.”

Ari blinked at his blunt breaking of the news.

Crap.

It was a good thing she’d planned on telling him about Charlie’s little visit. “The Guild is right. He came here today.”

“What?” Jai shot from the sofa, his energy suddenly stifling the room. “What happened? Are you okay? What did he do?”

Mr. Cool with everyone else but 
her. Ari reached for his hand to calm him down. “Let me explain.”

And so she did. She told him 
everything, not leaving a thing out. Being in a towel (that went down well).

Charlie trying to kiss her (a little spark of ember actually blazed in Jai’s hands before he controlled it). Charlie’s threats.

Jai took a calming breath when she was done. “How do you want to handle this?”

Ari winced inwardly. What she was about to ask of him was a lot, considering how much Jai had grown to respect Michael. “By ourselves, if we can.”

He sighed wearily and sat down 
beside her. “I guess I knew that was coming.”

“Jai …”

“I get it.” He nodded reassuringly, even though his jaw was clenched so tight it was in danger of shattering.

“We’ll deal with it.”

“There’s more.”

“Oh, goodie.”

“Jai.” She made a face. She needed him to be cool on this.

He held up a hand in apology. “Hit me with it.”

“For the past two months … Asmodeus has been visiting me in my dreams.” Ari closed her eyes, bracing herself for his reaction.

When her confession was met by 
silence, she pried her eyes open and found Jai staring incredulously at her.

“You’re just telling me this now?”

“I thought he’d stop. That he was just playing with me. I mean, he is just playing with me but he’s not stopping and I don’t know why …”

“Because he wants you, that’s why,”

Jai growled dangerously.

Ari blanched. “I was trying not to burden you.”

“Is that really why?”

Oh, God, they weren’t having 
another argument already? Ari sighed and slid along the sofa until she was pressed up against his side. His jaw clenched tight again and she stroked her fingers along it, feeling the bristle of his stubble. “He frightens me, Jai. I talk to him because he knows where to hurt me. And where to hurt me is sitting right in front of me. I talk to him so he won’t do anything to hurt you.”

Jai heaved a sigh but wrapped an arm around her waist. “You still should’ve told me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

They were silent a moment and then Jai tilted his head to peer down at her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“None of this is going away tonight. It’ll be here in the morning.”

Ari’s stomach flipped with 
excitement. “What do you mean?”

“I mean …” He stood up, pulling her with him. “I’m taking you out on a real date tonight.”

“Really?” she laughed happily, glad to shove their troubles to the back of her mind for now. “A real date?”

Jai nodded, grinning at her. “A 
real date. I’m taking you to dinner, to my favorite restaurant. In Rome.”

“You’re taking me to Rome?”

He tugged on her waist, drawing her against him. “We’re Jinn, baby.” He kissed her, swallowing her giggles.

When Jai said he was taking her to Rome, he wasn’t kidding. He told her to dress nice and Ari hurried upstairs to look through her wardrobe. She’d conjured all her clothes from the house she’d shared with her dad, Derek, but was having difficulty picking something. Giving up, she called Caroline, who seemed delighted that Jai was taking Ari on a date.

Her hand muffled the handset to 
relay the news to Michael. When she removed it to speak to Ari again, she said, “I have a dress that’ll work. If I put it on my bed, do you think you can conjure it? It’s black. Do you have shoes that’ll work?”

“Yes and yes. Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”

“You two have fun. And Michael says to be careful and vigilant at all times.”

“Of course. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Ari gave Caroline a few minutes and then concentrated on the idea of a dress lying on Caroline’s bed. Like a second pair of incredibly long arms, Ari felt her magic reach out and grab hold of the fabric. With a tingle of electricity in the air, the dress appeared on her own bed, the magic sucking out of the room as if through a powerful vacuum.

Stepping toward the dress, Ari smiled. It was simple but elegant. When she tried it on, it fit almost perfectly. She was a little taller than Caroline so it was shorter on her, but the black silk shift made her look older, more sophisticated. With a little bit of magic, she wove her hair up off her neck into a French coil at her nape.

Happy with her appearance, Ari 
slipped into a pair of black suede heels and braced herself for Jai’s reaction.