Darkmoon (The Witches of Cleopatra Hill Book 3) (5 page)

Margot shot her a disbelieving look. “I’m fairly certain we all know
how
this happened, Allegra.”

Color rose to the other woman’s cheekbones. “That’s not what I meant. Surely Rachel taught you to be careful, Angela?”

“Of course she did,” I replied with some irritation. “And I was. But somehow…it just didn’t work, that last time.”

“‘That last time,’” Margot repeated, brows drawing together, as if she’d had a sudden thought. “When was the last time you and Connor were intimate?”

Oh, Goddess. But I knew it was a legitimate question, and one I’d already answered on the questionnaire I filled out at Planned Parenthood. Anyway, the date was burned permanently in my brain, considering the events that had taken place the next day. “March nineteenth. It was — it was the night before we…confronted Damon.”

“Ah,” Margot responded, giving the faintest of nods. “That explains it.”

“Explains what?” I demanded with some asperity. Not that I didn’t want to hear her theory on the failure of the contraceptive spell, but I found it annoying that she seemed to be one step ahead of me in solving the mystery.

Her expression softened somewhat, despite my harsh tone. “The charm most likely was working just as it should, but when Damon died — when his powers passed to Connor, the only viable successor, the last of Jeremiah’s line — that small charm was not strong enough to withstand the need for there to be a new Wilcox heir. It was probably that very moment when you became pregnant.”

Good thing I was sitting down, because otherwise my legs probably would have given way beneath me. I’d never stopped to think about how the Wilcox line had never failed, not even with all the tragedy and untimely death that hovered around the family the way storm clouds seemed to ring Humphreys Peak as it towered over the town where the Wilcoxes lived. And even I remembered enough from biology class to know that pregnancy didn’t happen at the exact moment of intercourse. No, that tricky Wilcox sperm had just been hanging out, waiting for the right opportunity to come along.

Proving…what? That I couldn’t fight fate? That even though I might be the McAllister
prima
, I was no match for the manifest destiny of the Wilcox clan?

No, I refused to believe that. It wasn’t fate, precisely, but I did believe that everything happened for a reason. Connor and me. Damon’s death. This child. All of it.

After a long pause, I said, “That does make sense, Margot.”

She seemed vaguely surprised that I hadn’t argued with her, but then inclined her head, as if acknowledging my acceptance.

“Anyway,” I went on, “I wanted you all to know. I’ll speak to Rachel, and I suppose the word will get out from there. It’s very early — I’m not quite three months along — so we have plenty of time to plan contingencies. But there won’t be any more talk of my getting rid of the baby. Understood?”

With some reluctance, Bryce nodded, and a few seconds later, Allegra did the same. Margot’s lips compressed, and then she said, “That is your decision, Angela. Just remember that it will affect everyone in this clan, and not only you.”

“I know that,” I said wearily.
And maybe if I were as cold-blooded as you, I would get rid of it. But I can’t.
Not wanting to hear any more comments about my “selfishness,” I went on, “But now I’m a little tired, so — ”

“We’ll go,” Allegra said at once. At least she’d had three children, so she could sympathize with the symptoms of early pregnancy, even if Margot and Bryce couldn’t. “Thank you for feeling you could confide in us.”

After that the other two had to murmur their thanks as well, even if they didn’t truly believe them, and then all three of them left, leaving me alone in the house, which felt very big and empty. I knew I could call Sydney and ask her to come up, but I told myself if I were really going to be a mother — if even for a short time — then I needed to put on my big-girl panties and learn how to handle things on my own. I couldn’t keep calling Syd every time I had the blues.

So I got some rocky road ice cream out of the freezer, went to the family room, and switched on the TV. I could do this. I could.

Unfortunately, I knew a far worse confrontation than the one I’d just survived still lay ahead of me.

A
unt Rachel had reacted
in horror when I told her the news, pretty much as I’d expected. Luckily, though, Tobias had been there when I went over to tell her what was going on. I didn’t see his presence as an intrusion, but rather a welcome buffer. He at least seemed hopeful when I said I’d do whatever I could to bring this curse to an end, even as Rachel shook her head and said that no one had ever been able to break the Wilcox curse.

Which was true. But, as they say, there’s a first time for everything.

With that unwelcome task out of the way, I went home, then sat upstairs on my bed for the longest time as I stared at the phone I held and wondered what on earth I could possibly say. Would Connor hear the fear and the nerves in my voice and demand to know what was wrong? Or would he see my number on the caller I.D. and not even bother to pick up?

In the end, I took the coward’s way out. I went to my contacts, selected Connor’s number, and then sent a brief text.
We need to talk. It’s important. Can you meet me in Sedona?

I hit “send” before I could lose my nerve. A minute ticked by…then another. I set the phone down on the bed and went to the window, staring out at the terraced streets of Jerome and the golden hills beyond. The cottonwoods following the line of the Verde River blazed a brilliant emerald, foliage still fresh and new. Another minute passed. My eyes began to burn, but I wouldn’t let myself cry. If he wanted to ignore me, fine.

But then my phone pinged, and I hurried over to the bed and picked it up with shaking fingers.

Okay. When and where in Sedona?

I still wanted to cry, although this time more from relief…and possibly nerves. Damn hormones. Blinking, I typed,
Tomorrow at ten? Down by Oak Creek behind Los Abrigados?

This time the answer came back quickly, as if he’d been waiting for my reply. Maybe he’d just been away from his phone the first time.
Okay. See you then.

And that was it. Nothing else, no words of love or reassurance or anything else, but at least he hadn’t said no. That was something. It
had
to mean something.

Or so I told myself.

T
he next morning
was bright and beautiful, a typical May day that promised warmth but not real heat. I spent about twenty minutes agonizing over what to wear and finally settled on my favorite pair of jeans and an embroidered peasant top, along with some jeweled flip-flops Sydney had talked me into. They showed off the pedicure I’d gotten the week before — before my entire world had changed. My toes gleamed hot pink, matching the embroidery on the blouse I wore. In the mirror, I looked fresh and relaxed, ready for summer. Connor had never seen me like this, and I wondered if he would appreciate the change in my appearance. But at least he’d always liked me in jeans, and I figured I might as well squeeze myself into them while I still could.

Then I was out the door and heading down the hill, through Clarkdale and Cottonwood and on into Sedona. The resort town was halfway between Jerome and Flagstaff, more or less, and neutral territory, so I figured it was the best place to meet. Finding someplace private had required a bit more thought, as this wasn’t the sort of discussion I really wanted to have in a restaurant in front of a bunch of other people. But then I remembered the quiet park-like area between the Los Abrigados resort and the shopping area at Tlaquepaque. Yes, people went down there sometimes to feed the ducks or simply watch the water flow past. Even so, it was far more secluded than anyplace else I could think of, especially on a weekday morning. Or so I hoped.

Since I arrived a little before ten, before the shops were open, there was plenty of parking. I chose a spot close to my destination but one that wasn’t designated for resort guests only. A quick scan of the parking lot told me Connor wasn’t there yet, so I went ahead and walked down toward the creek.

As I’d expected, it was very quiet. There were a couple of bored-looking teenagers poking around the ornamental maze set up between the parking lot and the creek, but they didn’t even give me so much as a second glance as I passed them by and continued on to the water’s edge. Here, the grass was green and fresh, the trees overhead thick, with leaves equally as green. Sunlight glinted off the surface of the water as it moved between its wide banks. The water level was fairly high; snow must still be melting up in Flagstaff and making its way here.

As if thinking of Flagstaff had somehow summoned him, I caught a glimpse of movement in the corner of my eye, then turned to see Connor approaching me. My breath caught in my throat. Yes, I’d been thinking of him, dreaming of him, for the past few months, but none of that could compare to seeing him before me now. I’d forgotten how tall he really was, how broad his shoulders, how strong and fine the bones of his face.

It looked like he hadn’t cut his hair since the last time, just a day before Damon’s funeral. Now a lock of it fell over Connor’s forehead, and he had it pushed back behind his ears. He wore a dark gray button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing tanned forearms. Apparently he hadn’t been wasting away in his studio, mooning over me. Then again, even in the depths of winter, his skin tone had always been warm, quite a bit darker than mine.

Mouth dry, I somehow managed to say, “Hi, Connor.”

“Hi, Angela.” Calm, casual…just the way he’d been when I first woke up in his apartment. Back then, I hadn’t known quite what to make of such behavior.

Now I knew it was his way of covering up what he was really feeling.

“Thanks for coming.” Oh, Goddess, that sounded terrible. I might as well have been thanking him for showing up at a business meeting.

The tiniest lift of his shoulders. “Since I hadn’t heard anything from you before this, I figured it must be important.”

Hadn’t heard anything from you before this.
Well, that was rich. Since he was the one who’d thrown me out, I sort of thought he should be the one making the conciliatory gestures. But this was going to be hard enough without me tossing accusations around. “I — I was trying to give you your space,” I replied.

Another shrug. That green gaze seemed to slide past me, toward the water. “Thanks,” he said at last.

I’d known this was going to be hard, but somehow I hadn’t thought it would be quite this hard. Even though I knew Connor had a tendency to clam up when he was upset or nervous, in that moment I felt as if I were talking to a brick wall. But now that I had him here, I knew I had to go through with this, even though I found myself wishing I’d never sent him the text to meet me.

Just get it over with,
I thought.
Tell him. No matter how he reacts, it can’t be any worse than this.

Lifting my chin, I looked up into his face, practically forcing him with my gaze to meet my eyes. At last he did, and without flinching. Good. That was better.

“I asked you to meet me because, well” — I pulled in a breath, forced the words out — “I’m pregnant.”

Immediately the cool mask was gone. I saw fear, true fear, flare in his eyes. “Oh, God,” he murmured. Then he shook his head. “You can’t keep it, Angela. It’ll kill you.”

How he’d known what my decision had been, I couldn’t guess, except that he knew me. We were bonded, even if he’d tried to ignore that bond. Or maybe he thought that if I’d decided to quietly get rid of the baby, there would be no need to ever say anything to him.

“That’s what everyone’s been telling me,” I replied, actually relieved to see the worry and dismay in his eyes. If he truly didn’t care about me anymore, would he be reacting this way? “But this child is ours, Connor. I want it to be born, no matter what happens.”

He didn’t reply at first, only continued to stare down at me as if he’d never seen me before. Finally, “You’d really do that? Even knowing what’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” I told him. “Neither do you. Not for certain. But I’ll tell you what I told my clan elders — I
will
find some way to break this curse. I want to see this child grow up. And — ” For the first time I faltered, because my next words weren’t about our unborn baby, but about us, and that felt like much more dangerous ground. “ — And I really hope we can experience that together.”

I’d been expecting a dismissal, or at most another one of those infuriating shrugs. What I hadn’t expected was for him to reach out and pull me against him, to feel his arms go around me in an embrace so fierce it almost suffocated me. Not that I minded, of course. What was a little missing breath when the man you thought you’d lost forever takes you in his arms like that?

His lips brushed the top of my hair. “I want that, too,” he murmured. “I want that more than anything.”

Even as my heart leapt at those words, I couldn’t help pulling away slightly so I could cast a quizzical glance up at him. “Not that I’m not totally thrilled to hear that, Connor, but if that’s the case, why the radio silence? I’ve spent the last few months thinking you never wanted to see me again.”

He did look shamefaced at that remark. “I know, I know. It’s been killing me.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I mean it, Angela.” A pause, and he added, “That is, I did feel that way for the first week. I was furious with you — and with myself — thinking there must have been another solution, some way to save Damon. And I was having to deal with that while finding myself suddenly
primus
of my clan, and settling Damon’s affairs, which weren’t trivial, either, and — well, I was in a bad place.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. All that time I’d been agonizing over losing him, and I’d barely spared a thought for what he must be going through on his end. He’d never thought he would be
primus
, never thought he’d have to do anything except live quietly in his brother’s shadow. And while I certainly didn’t claim to know much about wills and trusts and all that, I could only imagine that managing the disposition of Damon’s estate probably hadn’t been terribly easy.

A hint of surprise flitted over his features, and then he shook his head. “You don’t need to be. I mean, after my head cleared, I realized there really wasn’t anything else any of us could have done. In clearing out the house and getting it ready for sale — ”

“You didn’t keep it?” I asked, surprised despite myself. For some reason I’d thought Connor would hold on to the house, if only for a while longer.

“How could I? My brother died there. Jessica was murdered there. He left it to me, but I sure as hell didn’t want it. So I sold the whole place — furniture and everything — for a price that Lucas told me was criminally low. But I didn’t care.”

I supposed I could see that. After all, I was used to talking to ghosts, and even I wouldn’t have felt all that comfortable living in a house where two people had died. After I nodded, Connor continued,

“Anyway, when I was clearing out the house, I came across some of Damon’s papers, his writing. Most of it was theoretical stuff I couldn’t make much sense of, but it wasn’t until I read what he’d written that I understood how insanely obsessed he was with you, with using your powers to break the curse. I guess I’d realized it on some level, but seeing it written down really brought it home to me.” Connor reached out and took my hands in his, and I wanted to weep at feeling those familiar strong fingers wrap around mine, comforting,
real
. “He doomed himself, Angela — and he did so knowingly, and willingly. I still haven’t forgiven him for that.” Green eyes searched my face, urgent, pleading. “But I did forgive you. There really was nothing else you could have done.”

Oh, how I’d longed to hear him say that! Even so, I asked, “Then why didn’t you call me? I’ve been dying a little every day I haven’t heard from you. All this time we could have been together — ”

“I know,” he said, the guilt clear in his voice. “And I was going to, I swear it. But then Marie told me to wait.”

“What?”

“She did. I told her about ten days after I sent you back to Jerome that this was crazy, that I was going to call you and tell you I was an idiot, that I’d made a horrible mistake — and she said I needed to wait, that she’d seen you would contact me at a critical moment, and that it was very important I not say anything to you until then.”

Marie. I’d never liked her, but in that moment I hated her, hated that she’d kept Connor and me apart for no apparent reason. “That’s just stupid,” I snapped. “What, did she say it was another of her goddamn visions or something?”

“Well, yeah, more or less.”

That did stop me. Despite my dislike for the woman, I couldn’t deny that her visions were true ones, her instincts stronger than those of anyone else I’d met. “What else did she say?”

“That’s all.” He paused, then added, “Well, that I needed to wait, and then when we did reconcile, that we needed to speak to her immediately.”

The last thing I wanted was to go talk to Marie. What I wanted was to drag Connor to the nearest hotel room for some make-up sex. But ignoring the seer when she obviously had something important to say was probably not that good an idea.

“So, what, you want me to go with you to Flagstaff to meet with Marie right now?”

A glint I knew all too well entered his eyes. “Well, what I want is to head over there” — he jerked a thumb toward the Los Abrigados resort — “and see if they have any rooms available, and forget about anything else for a while. But since Marie was pretty adamant about seeing her, I think we probably should do as she asks.”

I found myself smiling, despite everything, because of the way Connor’s thoughts had run almost exactly parallel to mine. “Rain check on that hotel room?”

The grin he sent me in reply was positively ferocious. “Damn straight.”

I
decided
to follow him up to Flagstaff in my own vehicle, not because I thought I needed an escape plan, but because I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my brand-new Cherokee for an unknown amount of time in the Tlaquepaque shopping center parking lot. Connor’s eyes widened a bit when I went to the car and unlocked it.