Dark Vision (12 page)

There were things about Gabriel that I liked. Admired. Lusted after. But there was a lot I didn’t know, and some definite black marks against him. Like being bossy, domineering, economical with the truth, and treating me like an especially slow-minded toddler. Plus, oh yeah, giving me away to a nasty old coot when I was six, and abandoning me to a desperately lonely life for the rest of my childhood.

As the last thought skittered across my mind like a poisonous spider, he dropped his spoon to the table with a clatter. His eyes blazed so bright I saw several heads turning to stare at him. He looked less than human right then, and there was an ominous stretch to the sleeves of his sweater. I had no idea how much control he had over his body changes, but was pretty sure Bewley’s wasn’t the place to test it out.

‘Are you in my head?’ I asked cautiously.

‘Yes. Just for a moment there, I was. Is there something you’ve been wanting to ask me, Lily?’

I could feel the surreptitious glances around us, hear low-level whispers as people wondered what was wrong with him. I drew in a long breath, spoke quietly. ‘There is. And we should discuss it. But you need to take a chill pill, Gabriel, or someone’s going to film the amazing inflatable you on their phone, and stick it on YouTube. Can you do that? Calm down a bit?’

He nodded, picked up a knife, and twisted it round and round his fingers until it looked like a stainless steel spring. Displacement activity, I presumed; redirecting his angst and taking it out on a poor innocent dining utensil.

It seemed to work, and his eyes dimmed to navy blue, his shoulders relaxing out of warrior pose. The trick now was how to have the conversation without it all going nuts again.

‘It’s all right,’ he said. ‘It was just the shock of it. I’m usually more in control – you know that. I even managed to stay in my room last night while you were riding Luca like a bucking bronco.’

Low blow. I screwed up my eyes, let the blush flame over my face. Told myself I had nothing to be embarrassed about. But it didn’t quite wash. The new me was taking quite a bit of getting used to.

‘I think you’ll find that’s called dancing, Gabriel. Maybe you’d understand, if you weren’t, you know, a thousand years old.’

‘I’m younger than Luca,’ he said maliciously. ‘And after that performance, he’s lucky to be sleeping through another sunrise. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. You were thinking about Coleen, weren’t you? About how you came to be with her?’

‘I already
know
how I came to be with her, Gabriel,’ I said, leaning forward across the table. ‘You gave me to her. I remember it. You, dressed in black after the funeral. Passing me on like excess luggage.’

‘It had to be done, Lily,’ he replied, his fingers inches from mine on the tablecloth. I knew he was itching to touch me, but I was glad he didn’t. I might have stabbed him with the remaining knife. ‘Your parents were dead. And as far as the world knew, as far as the Tuatha knew, you were dead as well. For a while they thought they’d won, which bought us the time we needed to hide you. With Coleen.’

‘But why
her
, Gabriel? You must have known what kind of person she was. You must have known that wasn’t the right environment for a child.’

‘I didn’t see you as a child,’ he said. ‘I saw you as the Goddess, or at least a potential Goddess. I saw you as—’

‘Something you needed to keep safe. Yes, I know. But I was six, for Christ’s sake. And I’d never even met the woman before. Do you know what she did when we got back to her house that night? After the funeral? She sent me straight to bed so she could watch her TV programmes. Didn’t talk to me, or touch me. Just told me that from now on I’d answer to Lily, ‘if I knew what was good for me’, and that it was bedtime. There was no heating and I was freezing cold. It was pitch black, and she wouldn’t even let me put a light on. Said that was for babies, and I’d better get used to the dark. I lay there, with the sounds of
Coronation Street
coming up the stairs, shivering, scared half to death and wondering why my mummy had left me with this horrible old woman who didn’t even know my name.

‘When I woke up the next day, I cried so hard. I’d dreamed about my parents, and I was convinced they’d come and rescue me. Then Coleen ordered me out of bed so she could tell me her house rules: Don’t speak unless spoken to; no television without her in the room; three meals a day and not a scrap more; no friends allowed back there; and absolutely no arguments unless I wanted to feel the back of her hand. And the back of her hand had a pretty hefty sovereign ring on it. Then, for the rest of the day, she ignored me while she did crossword puzzles and smoked. We had variations on that theme until I was eighteen and I went off to college. I didn’t have a single birthday present for all the years I lived with her. That might not mean much to you Otherworldy types, but for a human girl? It was shitty. So I ask you again, Gabriel – why her?’

He closed his eyes, silent for a moment. God knew what was going on in his brain. Hopefully guilt, and regret, and remorse.

‘Because,’ he said, ‘it needed to be someone who would make you forget. We needed to erase your old life. You had to give it up, become someone else. You were young, we knew you’d adapt. That you’d become someone new. Coleen was a tool, a way of changing your future. Protecting you by creating distance from your past.’

‘Yeah, well. That worked. But she didn’t just distance me from my past; she distanced me from everything. And you’re right – I did give up. I gave up hope that my parents would come for me. That anyone would come for me, ever again. I learned how to be alone, and how to like it. Being alone is the only thing I’ve ever known. And then you turn up, years later, and expect me to calmly accept my new life? Expect me to forget all that learned behaviour, and become your mate? Have your baby, even? Really, how did you expect that one to go?’

‘What else could I do?’ he said, slamming his fists on the table so hard the salt and pepper danced. ‘Ask to be your friend on Facebook? I miscalculated. I should have come sooner, given you time to accept it. I should have allowed you to be prepared. I’m sorry, for that and for your life with Coleen. Truly sorry. But what’s done is done, and we don’t have much time. I can’t court you, can’t woo you the way I should, the way human women expect. The Feast of Samhain is almost here, and that is when you need to accept me. Their strength is growing. When I was in the Otherworld, I felt it. The Tuatha used to rule the mortal realm – and some of them want it back. You, me, we are the only ones who can stop it. So please, accept my apologies, accept my regrets – but stop resisting me. You’ve seen our future. Seen our fate. Why fight it?’

‘Because,’ I said, ‘I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that is my only option. I don’t believe you’re telling me everything I should know. I don’t believe you even see me as a real person, Gabriel. You dismissed my feelings when I was a child, and you’re still doing it now. What I do believe is that I can choose for myself – and I might not choose you.’

Our mutual contempt was cold enough to freeze lava by the time we arrived back at the house. He was an arrogant, heartless prick who expected mindless obedience. I was a selfish, immature prima donna with no sense of responsibility. We both played these roles to the hilt, walking through the streets of Dublin, screaming, shouting, and on one occasion, slapping. That would be me, and the slap was a compromise. What I’d really wanted to do was push him over the edge of O’Connell Bridge and into the River Liffey.

We’d wandered around the city until it was dusk, raging at each other, pausing only to buy bags of chips that we ate with chilled fingers. In a strange way I enjoyed it. The fighting, not the chips. It was the first time I’d ever really argued with anyone, and I was getting pretty good at it. Even when I thought he was right, I didn’t budge an inch, and I found the fact that I could provoke so much fury satisfying in the extreme. If it had been a film, we’d have ended up with passionate make-up sex against the wall in the hallway. As I still half hated Gabriel, and had my strange debilitating skin allergy, it actually ended with a lot of slammed doors, and me wondering if Luca was awake yet. I needed someone to pummel.

As soon as I walked into the living room I knew something had changed. Connor, Finn and Kevin were standing up, with fixed expressions on their faces. The vampires, very much awake, were scattered around, looking unusually well behaved; and Carmel was curled up in an easy chair, legs tucked beneath her, arms wrapped around her own body as though she was cold.

‘Thank fuck you’re back,’ she whispered as we entered. ‘You’ve got visitors.’

I could tell from the aroma curling into my nostrils that one of them was Eithne, my old friend from the Coconut Shy toilets. I knew the normal reaction would be fear, but my blood was still up from sparring with Gabriel, and I glared at her viciously. If she fancied round two, I was up for it.

She giggled, a sound that seemed completely alien to her, and smiled. ‘Nice to see you too, Goddess,’ she said. Her nose wrinkled slightly. ‘Mmm … chips?’ she asked.

Standing next to her in front of the marble fireplace was a man, tall and lean, with long black hair tied back in a loose ponytail. His skin was caramel brown, his eyes dark and slanted upwards, and he was clad head to toe in black leather. Kind of a medieval Asian assassin look. I’d never seen him before, but I could tell he was important from the body language of the vampires, who were all casting sneaky glances in his direction.

‘High King,’ he said, nodding at Gabriel, then turned to survey my frostbitten cheeks and damp hair. ‘Goddess,’ he said in greeting.

‘Lily will do fine,’ I replied, unbuttoning my coat and wondering when someone was going to tell me what was going on.

‘My name is Donn,’ he said simply, and a few things fell into place. Like the fact that Isabella was looking at him like a scared puppy, and even Luca was sitting quietly, fully clothed, with his hands neatly folded in his lap.

‘I am the Lord of the Dead, and ally to Cormac Mor,’ he added formally.

I shrugged off my coat, slung it over the back of a chair with my bag. Not so long ago I’d have run screaming from the room, but now? Lord of the Dead? All in a day’s work.

‘What’s with this Cormac Mor business?’ I asked. ‘You’re the third person I’ve heard call him that.’

‘It means “great”,’ said Eithne sneeringly. ‘Which he thinks he is.’

I cast a look in his direction. He was bigger than usual, and edging towards me, placing his outsized body between Eithne’s and mine.

‘Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?’ I said. ‘Now, not to be rude, but why are
you
here? Last time we met I got the impression you didn’t much like me.’

‘Sorry about that. I got a bit carried away – nothing personal.’

‘You tried to kill me. That’s about as personal as it gets.’

Gabriel advanced towards her, and in response, Connor, Finn and Kevin tensed. I noticed that all three had swords in belts at their sides, and their hands were inching towards the pommels. There’d been a lot of talk about sword arms in the past few days, and now it looked like I was about to see them in action first-hand.

‘This is not the time for conflict,’ said Donn, his voice as deep and exotic as his eyes. ‘Much as I’d like to rip out Eithne’s still-beating heart and eat it, we are here to talk. Eithne is here to represent the views of the Fintna Faidh, and I speak for the rest of the Tuatha de Danaan.’

‘Where is Fintan?’ asked Gabriel, giving a slight shake of the head to his warriors. Their hands moved; postures marginally relaxed. ‘Why does he not come himself?’

‘He’s … busy,’ answered Eithne. ‘People to see, things to do. But he has sent me on his behalf, to discuss the future of the alleged Goddess, and the balance of power that holds sway over her.’

‘Alleged’. Huh. What a cow. I looked at Carmel, and she made a little catlike ‘meow’ noise. Seemed that bitchiness was a female hobby in the Otherworld as well as in ours.

‘The Goddess is in my care,’ said Gabriel. ‘And will remain so. Any balance you seek was made void when Fintan sent his minions to kill her. Her sisters were taken in their eighth and ninth years respectively, and she has been attacked several times. I will not release her into danger.’

He made a valid point, but I still bristled at his use of the word ‘release’. I was not Gabriel’s property, child, mate or prisoner. I didn’t know quite what I was yet, but I did know I could make decisions for myself.

‘We haven’t been attacked for days now, Your Greatness,’ I pointed out. ‘And I don’t feel threatened by anything other than you.’

It was true. I didn’t feel threatened. Scared and freaked out, yes, but not threatened – because, well, the voice in my head had told me I could relax. That the men in black would not be pursuing me again. My mental visitor had said he wanted to talk to me, not kill me, and I believed him. I wasn’t sure how well citing ‘voice in head’ would go down as proof, so I didn’t elaborate.

‘Who is Fintan?’ I asked instead, as Gabriel struggled not to splutter out loud at what he would undoubtedly see as another example of my ‘foolhardy and contrary’ nature. That had been just one of the many complimentary gems he’d thrown at me earlier.

‘He is my lord, leader of the Fintna Faidh and the greatest of the Tuatha de Danaan,’ announced Eithne proudly, sticking her boobs out like a pageant queen in front of the judges.

Donn rolled his almond eyes, and snorted. ‘Self-styled,’ he murmured.

‘He is your enemy,’ said Gabriel, violet sparks flaring from his eyes. ‘And whatever she says, he wants you dead. The only way to prevent you from saving humanity is by killing you.’

‘Not strictly true,’ said Eithne. ‘Admittedly that is a path that was followed in the past, but it is not the only way, Cormac Mor, and you know it. You are conveniently forgetting that the Goddess has a choice. And that she may choose us.’

Not bloody likely, I thought, as her sour-cider smell assaulted me. I wouldn’t choose her, anyway. But seeing the effect her words had on Gabriel was enough to keep me quiet. He was rigid with anger, planted in front of me like a colossus, his shoulders wide enough for two, his chest physically blocking me from the others.