DARK SOULS (Dark Souls Series) (11 page)

I had taken a backseat to this strange flame now unfurling inside me, but I was still able to register what she said.

Wait!
Don’t shut me out. I need to know what she means!

The fire ignored my pleas, shoving them down and back at me, hard.

“
You want to come to me,”
I whispered, the words riding softly on my breath, curling and emitting their own allure as they reached her ears.

She mewed again, rising slowly out of her crouched position and walked towards me gently, almost reverently.

My control over her felt like electricity surging throughout my body, its center pulsing behind my eyes. When she reached me, I held out my hands, palms out, and waited.

Her arms rose up to wrap around mine, her hands freezing cold as her talons scratched my skin. The cold turned into a burn as her skin touched mine, but I bore the heat, welcomed it even. It felt like a hot, searing shower of fire, but my face flushed with joy and anticipation each time a flame ignited underneath my skin.

She screamed in agony as she touched me, but my control wouldn’t allow her to let go. I saw that her eyes, though black as coal, held pain behind them.

Her screams filled the room, and if I were my normal self, I would have buckled and covered my ears to stop the shrieking from bursting my eardrums.

But I was not myself.

This deeper, darker part of me was pushing my mind backwards. I tried to fight against it, to remain conscious and alert, but my vision began to waver weakly and blurrily as I started to black out.

No. No, don’t shut me out
, I begged as black spots started to coat my vision.

Do you want to see?
Whispered the voice within me, feeling like tendrils of fire as it echoed softly in my mind, tantalizing me as it twisted inside my head, the flames flicking against my mind, testing, searching.

I hesitated then, unsure and frightened.

I heard a soft escape of breath, slow and deep as it swirled, up and around, heard only in my mind, yet with the words I felt a hot wind coat my face, lifting my hair, reddening my cheeks as it stroked down my body like the softest of feathers. The girl watched me through her pain, unblinking, unhearing of the whispers inside me.

The heat was addicting. The whispers were mesmerizing. My lips parted even as I thought the word,
yes.

This time, a loud escape of breath rushed through my head and harsh laughter followed, though the sound felt like velvet over my skin. As it dissipated, so did the spots in my vision. I remained conscious, staring back at the girl’s onyx eyes and no longer feeling the need to succumb to my dizziness and leave this nightmare behind.

The calming fire and my resulting relaxation that hooded my eyes and slowed my breath was short-lived. Unexpectedly, my body jerked forward, my hands digging into the girl’s skin, emitting a fresh round of screams.

Horrified, I felt my mouth open, my lower jaw cracking and popping as it detached itself and stretched underneath my skin. My gums burned as I felt my teeth grow.

Her screaming abruptly stopped, and I wondered why for only an instant until I realized that I had latched onto her throat, my teeth digging deeply into her soft neck, gliding into her skin with the silence and silkiness of sharp, deadly blades.

Warmth trickled into my mouth, and while the voice inside me enjoyed the dying, the killing, I knew it didn’t enjoy the blood. The blood was not what it wanted.

She melted against me, and once I felt the pulse of her blood ebb in my mouth, I knew I had killed her. I released my arms, and she collapsed onto herself on the ground, folding over almost as if she were sleeping.

I fought again to regain control, but I was once again shoved aside. Whatever had grabbed hold of me found me to be a weakling, a mere tickle against its strength and determination. As it swirled inside me, its laughter as sharp as its flames, I realized I was mocked by it.

But as quickly as the whispers came, they disappeared, leaving me breathless and bloody next to a body that no longer looked like a monster, but a girl that had just been brutally murdered. The undulating, relentless hunger returned to my center, coming back so forcefully that I bent forward in pain. My hands snapped out to prevent me from falling any further and my right hand jolted out and landed on the girl’s arm. My hand tingled where it met her skin, and though I tried to fight against it, I didn’t fight as hard as I could have. My pain, my hunger, was all consuming, and there was only one way to relieve it.

I bent my head over hers, our lips almost touching, and I breathed in.

My body instantly relaxed as I inhaled the smoldering blue tendrils, and I felt it fire through my veins, reaching the tip of my toes and electrifying my body and feeling like euphoria.

That taste, oh that sweet taste...

My eyes fluttered closed in ecstasy as I continued to inhale deep, right into my center. If I weren’t already on my knees, I would have buckled right then.

Too soon, it was over. I leaned back on my heels and sighed, rolling my tongue over my top lip with deep satisfaction as I raised my face to the ceiling.

YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE?

The voice that roared through my mind was so loud it pierced my very soul. This wasn’t the velvet whisper. This wasn’t the calming fire. This was torture.

KEEP DOING THIS. IT ONLY BRINGS ME CLOSER TO YOU.

“No, please, I don’t know what’s happening!” I pleaded uselessly with the empty air, satisfaction and ecstasy forgotten as I crumbled to the ground. “Please…”

Trembling as if my muscles had just endured a four-hour cardio class, I waited for the inevitable blackness this pain would bring, clouding over my mind and rendering me blissfully unconscious. Anything to get away from that roar, that hate.

I welcomed it readily.

CHAPTER NINE

“You really are completely ridiculous.”

The voice shook me out of my dream state, and I groaned in protest. I had been floating aimlessly, feeling a gentle tropical breeze gliding across my body. I had no fear, no anxiety, no panic. Just cool, blue water amid floating, blossoming lily pads. It was the type of dream that I was reluctant to give up.

“You need to wake the hell up before someone sees you!”

The owner of the unwelcome voice kept shaking me.

“Okay,” I groaned louder, grudgingly cracking my eyes open. “Okay, just stop!”

I opened them to dark brown eyes framed by large black-rimmed glasses. Familiar dark brown eyes.

“Derek?”

He was still in the same camel-colored wool coat with what looked like a red scarf tied around his neck and tilting to the side. The scarf looked oddly merry on him and completely out of place.  My eyes traveled up to his face, noticing that his light brown hair looked tousled and his cheeks flushed, like he had just run through a biting wind.

“The one and only. Seems like you can’t help but run into me. But not to worry.” He lifted his hands, palms up. “There’s no book in my hands for me to conveniently throw at you this time.”

“Where is she?” I asked, still lying prone but jerking my neck around, seeing only empty teak tiles beside me.

“Who?”

“The monster. The girl. She attacked me...” I tried to form coherent thoughts.

“There’s no one here but us.” He pointed to his right. “Door was open. I was excited for meatloaf.”

I propped myself up on my forearms slowly, energy pumping into my body with every movement I made. I started to feel like, once again, I was experiencing a caffeine-high.

“No, there was a girl. She attacked me. Big black eyes, long yellow teeth...”

This made Derek pause. “You mean she showed herself?”

He looked at me with disbelief, but not the type of disbelief a normal person would give after hearing about a girl with black eyes and yellow teeth attacking me. If anything, I expected more of a mocking, “My, what big teeth you describe! Was it the better to eat you with, little girl?”

Instead, he made me look at him incredulously when he continued, “We normally don’t do that here, not even when we’re feasting.”

He paused, looking around the restaurant. “And if she did show herself, she would have left quite a big mess.” Derek gestured around us, noting nothing out of place except for the broken chair beside me.

“What are you...Derek, you have to tell me what’s going on. You have to tell me.” I could feel myself getting more hysterical by the second. “Please, just tell me
.
”

“Whoa, calm down. I’m not really sure what to tell you. You’re kind of not making sense.”

“I’m not making sense?
You’re
not making sense. She attacked me—with fangs. She hurt me. I fought back and I—I don’t know where her body went, but she was right
here
.” I pointed at the empty teak tiles on my left. “Am I going crazy? Is that it? Are you just a figment of my imagination?”

I poked him on his arm just to be sure he was real. He pulled his arm away from me, irked. “You know, all I wanted to do was come here, grab a nice meal, and have a nice time in the little terrace out back where no one would bother me.” He frowned at me, looking very put-upon, as if it were him
that was just forced to fend off a girl-beast and now had to explain the attack to an imbecile. “I am so sick of
people
. And now you plop in front of me, with all your questions and your teary eyes, thinking that I have all the answers when really, I just want to be left
alone
. From humans, from our own kind—from everyone.”

Finished with his tirade, Derek clamped his mouth shut and glared at me. Yet, he remained kneeling, and I took the fact that he wasn’t leaving as a good sign.

“But you’re curious,” I finally reasoned. “You wouldn’t be sticking around talking to me right now if you weren’t.”

“Damn it, you’re right,” he agreed, and with great reluctance. “You’re saying she attacked you, but we don’t fight each other. We have bigger goals in place than that. It’s essential we stick together in order to fight the Trine.”

“See that, right there, I have no idea what just came out of your mouth.”

Derek rocked back on his heels. “I’ve never heard of this before. Having no memory. I mean, newbies usually bumble around for a while, but you at least have a Mentor with you.”

“
Derek
,” I said through clenched teeth. “Talk to me in ways I can understand!”

Derek sighed. “You have me just intrigued enough to entertain you. Especially seeing how different you look then when I last saw you.” He looked me up and down—or should I say sideways, since I was still leaning on my forearms. “That has me considering.”

I shook my head tiredly. “Do I have glowing skin? Gleaming eyes? Lustrous hair?”

“Yes, you totally do,” he said.

“That’s what happened last time,” I said, my voice breaking as I fell onto my back again and stared at the ceiling.

“Interesting.” Not sensing my distress, or more probably simply ignoring it, Derek continued to muse, “I don’t think I’ve encountered your kind before. Then again, there are thousands of Sects. But I pride myself on knowing all of our species. Every. Single. One.” He enunciated his point by ticking off his fingers, but continued to stare at me with his eyebrows lowered, his glasses casting long shadows across his eyes.

“What am I?” I asked. I didn’t even flush at the plaintive sound in my voice. I was past the point of trying to stay strong. So much blood…how was I to stay strong with so much of it on my hands?

Again, he paused in consideration. “When did you inhabit this body?”

I rubbed my hands over my face, sighing. “I’ve always been in this body. I’m
me.
”

“That’s impossible. Rarely do we inhabit children. Children are incredibly difficult to navigate, trust me on that one.” He sighed at my exhausted look, brushing his fingers through his hair before continuing, “There’s only one sect that does, and they’re a disgusting little bunch. You definitely aren’t one of them.”

“I’ve never inhabited anyone! I was born me.”

Derek regarded me carefully. “The only explanation I have in this circumstance is that you somehow lost your memory during the transition.”

“My memories? I have memories. I remember most of my life! Believe me, if you knew my life, it’d be hard to forget.”

“Oh honey, no,” he said, patting my right shoulder gently. “Those are your human’s memories. We all have those. How would you expect us to navigate in this world otherwise?”

“But I
am
human.”

Derek tipped his head. “Oh, this is just too much fun. I’m sorry I dismissed you so outright. You’ll be an excellent study.”

“Derek, for the millionth time, please tell me what you’re talking about.”

Again, Derek placed his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it back and forth. “Darling, you’re not human,” he said, almost as if he were speaking to a four-year-old. “You’re a
demon.
”

CHAPTER TEN

Although he looked as calm as a person who just finished a refreshing class of Bikhram yoga, I was convinced that Derek was bat-shit crazy. Even more bat-shit crazy than me. And possibly even my mother.

“You are bat-shit crazy,” I said.

Derek was still sitting on the back of his heels, regarding me like one would regard a petri dish in a science lab.

I was still splayed on my back on the floor, almost too afraid to move in case I startled the unnervingly calm-but-crazy person beside me.

“I don’t think so. I’m not the one with no sense of self here,” he said, his hands resting gently on his thighs.

I finally sat up, crossed my legs and faced him.

“There must be…you’re nuts.” I stared at him, refusing to believe his words but at the same time feeling
that they were true. The flame stirred, fireflies swirling up into my chest. “I can’t be a…a
demon
. This is a hallucination. Maybe I
am
sick—oh god, maybe I do belong in a bed beside my mother. I’m going insane.” I thought of the girl. Rob. The blood. The voice inside me laughed, soft and deep. “Multiple personalities…” I knew I was rambling. I didn’t care.